Sleep comes like the falling of an axe. I know it must come but I fight it with everything that I have. Those defenceless hours, oblivious to my surroundings are enough to light up my whole body with fiery sparks. I am utterly wired until that time when I cannot fight it anymore and the sleep is as instantaneous as it is unwelcome. I have some warning though, when my thoughts become intertwined with random ideas, impossible ideas, I seek my shelter and wrap in thick bear fur. It could be sometime before I am with the world again.

The next morning, I woke up wrapped in a familiar warmth. I opened my eyes, slowly and reluctantly. Kaagad din naman akong napapikit, nang bahagyang matamaan ng sinag ng araw. Streak of sunlight penetrate the window and blind me. Matapos ay naramdaman kong may humarang saking mga mata na tila ba sinisilong ako at pinoprotektahan mula sa pagkakasilaw.

That was when I realized that I'm peacefully lying on Aidan's broad chest, with his hand protecting my eyes. Letting me sleep comfortably. I can't remember when was the last time I've slept this good and I don't think I still have to spell out why.

Muli kong unti-unting binuksan ang aking mga mata, maingat ang pagkakapatong ng kamay nito saking noo, halos hindi ko maramdaman ang bigat noon. Na tila ba, ayaw nitong maistorbo ang aking pag-tulog. Doon ko natantong nakayakap rito ang isa sa mga braso ko, I saw his free hand holding his phone, he's reading news online.

Naramdaman marahil nitong gising ako, he removed his hand in my eyes. Tiningala ko ito at nakayuko naman ito sakin, mabilis akong humiwalay sakanya at hinayaan siyang bumangon sa pagkakahiga.

"I-I'm sorry, hindi ko alam-"

"You're sorry that you've slept in your husband's arms?" Simple lamang ang pagkakasabi nito ng mga salitang iyon, but I know there's so much in it.

I've decided to just let that go. Hindi ko naman kailangan sagutin ang lahat ng sasabihin nito. I shook my head and sit up. I watched him went to the windows and fix the curtain, bahagyang dumilim ang silid sa pagkakatabon ng sinag ng araw.

I drag my feet off the bed and rubbed my knuckles onto my eyes. I stretch my arms above my head and let out a morning yawn. Doon ako nabalingan ni Aidan, bahagyang umangat ang kilay nito.

"Still sleepy? Matulog ka pa,"

Hindi ko alam pero mahina akong natawa sa sinabi nito. "That's one common misconception, yawning does not always mean we're sleepy. It's our body's way of getting more oxygen into our lungs." I inhaled deeply and smiled at him. "For some reason, some people are shallow breather. All we need to do is breathe more deeply and the yawning will stop. It actually takes some concentration but it's definitely doable, and you'll notice a difference immediately."

Lalo akong napangiti nang makita ang marahan nitong pag-hugot ng hininga. He isn't smiling, his eyes still look distant, but after quite awhile, this is the first time I heard him greet me...

"Good morning,"

"Good morning," I smiled once more, I looked down and watch my legs dangle above the off-white polyester carpet.

"Ihahatid na kita sa ospital," sabi nito na agad na nagpabaling sakin dito.

"H-ha? Hindi na" pagtanggi ko.

I know Aidan is a busy man, isa pa'y hindi ko alam kung ano ang plano niyang gawin ngayong araw na ito. Ayokong makaabala.

"I have my car, I can drive. Baka makaabala lang ako sayo, I know you're busy-"

"I can always make time for you. One thing that you can't do for me." There's a solid bitterness in his voice and it strike me in.

Bago pa ako makapag-salita ay nakalabas na ito ng silid. I blew an air and shook my head, I can never forgive myself for what I turned my husband into.

Matapos kong maligo at mag-bihis ay agad akong lumabas ng silid at bumaba. Naabutan ko si Aidan sa komedor, nakaupo sa kabisera. Sa harap nito'y ang nakahandang agahan para sa dalawa.

He's holding a broadsheet looking so busy with it. Dinala nito sa bibig ang hawak na tasa ng kape at doon ay sumimsim. He might have noticed my presence that he looked at my way, wala akong makitang kahit ano sa mga mata nito, ang mga labi ay bahagya lamang kumurba ng pag-galaw.

"Breakfast,"

Tipid akong tumango bago siya saluhan. Napansin kong nakapaligo at naka-bihis narin ito, he might've used the shower in the guestroom and went into the dresser while I'm on the shower.

I looked at the table and saw a bread. A flat bread like a tortilla and cooked on a large rock over an open fire.

I took one and started eating it. It had the taste of the smoke infused with it and was nothing like the polystyrene white bread found in the supermarkets.

Hindi ako nakarinig ng kahit anong salita mula kay Aidan, kaya naman inabala ko na lang din ang sarili ko sa pag-aalmusal.

Bread is a carb but it's good to eat in the morning because it can produce a long-lasting energy throughout the day. Carbohydrates to our body are like fuel to a car. If there's no fuel the car won't go very far. If there's high-quality fuel the car will run more efficiently.

Napansin kong itiniklop nito ang binabasa at isinantabi, he cleared his throat and looked at me.

"Tumawag si Romee, tinawagan ka daw niya pero hindi mo nasagot. I told her you were in the bathroom, she said Ricos wants to greet you good morning," imporma nito. "Tawagan mo pagtapos mag-almusal."

"I will. Thank you."

Muli kaming naligiran ng katahimikan, he ate his breakfast silently kaya ganoon rin ang ginawa ko. Matapos kumain ay tinawagan kong agad si Romee and I swear, I can't believe she's asking me on how our night without Ricos went! Kaya naman agad ko ring pinutol ang tawag. I know Romee, she won't stop teasing.

Gaya ng sinabi nito'y inihatid nga niya ako sa ospital. Ngunit ang akala ko'y ihahatid lamang ako nito, I didn't expect him to walk me into my office more so stayed inside.

Isn't he busy?

"Aidan?" Naguguluhan ko itong pinagmasdan. "Uhm,"

"What?" Masungit nitong tanong bago prenteng naupo sa leather sofa at umabot ng isa sa mga babasahin na nasa center table.

"Wala ka bang ibang gagawin ngayon? Like, business-"

"Pinaaalis mo ba ko, Paris?" Bahagyang tumalim ang mga mata nitong umangat sakin.

Mabilis akong umiling, that's not what I mean! What the hell!

"Good," kumalma ang anyo nito at muling ibinalik ang mga mata sa babasahin. "Cause I'm staying, you go work and don't mind me."

He's staying. Whenever I hear the word stay, I easily get affected. Aidan always stay, leaving was never an option for him. I should've known.

Kagaya ng siyang gusto nito ay hinayaan ko lamang siya, maybe if he gets bored he'll go. Inabala ko na ang sarili ko sa mga kailangan kong gawin.

I'm checking the records of the patients on file. Going through the history, forms that were filled out and other stuff.

Mag-tatanghali na nang bumukas ang pinto at doon sumungaw si Skeet, agad nitong namataan si Aidan.

"Yo bro, didn't know you're here. Husband duties?" He joked, na siya namang matipid lamang na tinawanan ni Aidan. "Anway, doctora."

"What is it, Maximus?" Tanong ko nang hindi ito nililipatan ng tingin.

"I came here to personally give this invitation to you, for the anniversary party of MGH. Sakin kasi naipakisuyo ni Doc Dave ang pamamahagi niyan, ang akala ko nga'y hindi ka papasok ngayon kaya nagulat ako nang sabihin sakin ng head nurse na narito ka." Mahabang sabi nito.

Inabot ko ang silver invitation na ibinigay nito at ipinatong iyon sa bakanteng espasyo ng lamesa. "May pinapagawa lang si Uncle Dave."

"Had I known that you'll be here, hindi na sana ako pumasok. I lost the chance banging that brunette longer."

"Eew, Skeet. Stop it you're gross!" I grimaced.

"Arte!" Natatawang nilingon nito si Aidan na nasa binabasa parin ang atensyon. "Sige na, alis na ko. Bro, una na ko."

"Ingat," tipid na sagot ni Aidan kasabay ng pag-tango.

"Doctora, early out ako ah. I'm no longer needed here." Muli akong nilingon ni Skeet bago tuluyang lisanin ang silid.

Napailing na lamang ako, maloko lang si Skeet but just like his dad, he's a good Cardiologist.

Binalingan ko ang aking relong pambisig, nagkalingunan pa kami ni Aidan bago ito tumayo at isara ang hawak na libro.

"Lunch," he stated.

I nodded. "Sa cafeteria nalang,"

Tumango rin ito, nilapitan ako nito saking lamesa nang tumayo ako saking kinauupuan. That's when the door opened, halos mapasinghap ako nang makita roon si Wendell, in his doctor's coat.

Agad kong nakit ang pagtatagis ng bagang ni Aidan, agad nitong inabot pahapit ang aking bewang at nilingon si Wendell ng isang nakamamatay na tingin.

"You should start practicing how to knock before opening the door." Hinarap ako ni Aidan, his eyes were gentler now.

Nakagat ko ang aking ibabang labi nang bumaba roon ang mga mata nito, I suddenly remembered how he kissed me in front of Wendell yesterday. Is he going to do it again? The hell? Why am I anticipating?

Bago pa ako malunod sa sarili kong pag-iisip ay binalingan ko na si Wendell.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know." He said, lumapit ito saking lamesa at inilapag roon ang isang folder. "I just came here to give you that, and to invite you out for lunch, I didn't know you weren't alone-"

"Eat your lunch alone," masungit na sabi ni Aidan, inabot nito ang folder ni Wendell na nasa lamesa at ito mismo ang nag-abot noon sakin.

Sandali ko iyong binuklat bago iabot muli kay Wendell. "Those papers should be submitted to Skeet since Dr. Seidon Maximus is on leave."

"Oh, I'm sorry." He apologized, ang mga mata nito ay lumipat kay Aidan na ang buong atensyon naman ay nasa akin.

"That's okay, check if Dr. Maximus is still around." I dismissed him.

Marahan itong tumango bago muling magpaalam at umalis, katulad kahapon ay pinakisuyuan na naman ito ni Aidan na i-lock ang pinto.

Nang mawala na si Wendell ay mabilis akong pinakawalan nito, I silently wished that Wendell should've stayed. Kung hahawakan lang ako ni Aidan tuwing nandyan siya then sana lagi nalang siyang nandyan. What the fuck is wrong with me?

"Ano? Palagi kang yayayain non na mag-lunch?" Matalim nitong tanong.

"Hindi ko alam." I answered truthfully, inayos ko ang bag ko at nararamdaman ko parin ang paninitig ni Aidan mula saking gilid.

"No way, Paris. I won't let that man get a chance to share meals with you. And I mean it."

Hinarap ko ito. "If it will somehow makes you feel better, I assure you, I won't have lunch or any other meal with him. You have my word, Aidan."

"I had it once, you took it back." Mapait na sagot nito saking sinabi bago walang salita na lumabas ito ng silid.

Oh, Aidan Zeus.