The world is as silent as if it ended in the night. The sun is still resolutely below the horizon and the street is as dark as some old-school black and white movie. As I close my eyes I feel the heady pull of my dreams, beckoning me back to play. Like a little kid at the swings who's been told it's home-time, I turn begrudgingly to the light switch and flick it, immediately the room is bathed in that unnatural electric glow.

Kailangan kong labanan ang antok na aking nararamdaman. I can't just stay all day in bed even if I want to. I have to run some errands.

Hindi naman ako hinihilo at hindi rin ako nasusuka, inaantok lang talaga ako. The ob said that there are days that morning sickness will let me live a normal life, I just couldn't thank God for today.

I'm happy, but I don't think anyone can tell. It's under the surface and mixed with some anxiety. I'm not used to the combination, it's truly odd. Happy takes me up and anxious brings me down, so in that combination I'm simply focused on what I have in my hand. Perhaps it's like that for everyone starting something new, pleasure at gaining forward momentum and fear of the change.

After I took a warm bath and readied for school, I went out of my room having my things with me. While I'm locking the door, the last door at the hall which is the master's bedroom opened.

Napalingon ako roon, a little surprised to see mom went out from there. Her hair was tied up, she's on her silk robe and by the looks of it, seems like she just woke up.

"Mom..."

"Good morning, baby." She smiled.

My gaze went up at the huge door behind her, then I looked at her again. "Where's dad?"

"He's still asleep." Maiksing tugon niya bago lumapit saking kinatatayuan. "You're going to school?"

"Uh, yeah." I nodded my head. "I can't miss a day, exams are coming-"

"Pero kalalabas mo lang ng ospital." Worry trailed her voice. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Mom, I'm fine. I'm good. Hindi ako nahihilo." I gave her a reassuring smile.

"Hindi ba makakasama sainyo ni baby?" She asked.

Sainyo ni baby. Baby. Hearing that word sent an unfamiliar pang in my chest. Of course, baby. I'm pregnant.

"Anyway, I was really up early to make sure you'll have a decent breakfast." Inakay niya ako pababa ng kabahayan. "Don't you have any cravings? Something that our baby is requesting?"

I shook my head. "Nothing in particular."

Saglit niya akong nilingon bago tumango. "Kunsabagay, your tummy is just four weeks old kaya marahil wala ka pang craving."

Akmang uupo ako sa high stool nang samaan ako ng tingin ni mommy, she instead guided me to an easy reach one.

"You just stay there, I'll call Maribel to have your food prepared-"

"Mom, I can do it myself-"

"And they can also do it for you, Paris." Pinal nitong sabi bago pumasok sa dirty kitchen kung saan naroon ang ilang kasambahay namin.

Hindi naman ito nag-tagal at bumalik din sa kinaroroonan ko. She placed a glass of green something in front of me and took the next seat.

"Drink that, it's healthy." Mom smiled. "I know you're not a milk type of person but since you'll be needing milk for some time now, there. A green smoothie made with almond milk, Greek yogurt, kiwis, spinach and chia seed."

"Mom, don't you think that it's super effort?" I unbelievably shook my head.

"Come on, Paris. Nag-paturo pa ako sa Tita Sheila mo kung paano yan gawin, I made that myself. Para hindi mo kailangan pilitin ang sarili mo na uminom ng gatas."

Okay, I was touched. Mom is just so concern. And knowing her far from being a kitchen person, that she extended her resources to make me a healthy breakfast is just so sweet.

"Mom, thank you." I smiled and took a sip on the glass.

Well, this is indeed healthy. It's like a glass of superfoods. There's a vitamin C from the fruit and then protein and calcium from yogurt. And I know that a pregnant woman needs to get plenty of folate, which leafy greens like spinach has. While chia seeds are a great source of Omega 3s, a beneficial fatty acids which scientists suspects every pregnant woman needs.

Maya-maya pa'y inilabas na ng aming kasambahay ang simpleng almusal na ipinahanda ni mommy. On the porcelain plate is a wholegrain toast with mashed avocado and a sliced boiled egg on top.

"You eat your breakfast, I'll pack your lunch-"

"Mom, there's a canteen at school-"

She waved her hand, dismissing me before she stood up. "We're not sure what those foods are made of, dalawa na kayo ni baby ngayon. And I'm sorry honey, the little one should be our concern."

I blew an air and just let her. Mom might be a little over about everything, still I can't help but to find it cute.

I just ate the food in front of me. So, this is it. Perhaps, I should be used to on eating healthy everyday.

Like these superstar nutrients. A choline from eggs, it was said to improve ones brain function. And of course I know my tummy will thank me for the fiber from whole-wheat and avocados.

Bago pa ako matapos ay nasa harap ko na ulit si mommy. Kasunod nito ang aming kasambahay na bitbit ang isang wooden tray na nag-lalaman ng tasa ng kape. While mom is holding a paper bag.

"Ilapag mo nalang dyan ang kape, Maribel. Ako na ang mag-aakyat niyan, bumalik ka na sa ginagawa mo. Bababa na si Romee, maya-maya. Alam mo naman iyon, hindi yun mag-aantay ng matagal para sa almusal. And I don't want any of my kids to miss their breakfast, not when I'm here." Litanya ni mommy, agad naman tumalima ang sinabihan niya at iniwan sa lamesa ang tray. "Here, Paris. Turkey burger. I know you don't eat much rice."

Napangiti ako, even if mom isn't always around, she's still aware on what I do and what I don't. "Thanks, mom."

Nilingon ko ang tray na nasa isang bahagi ng lamesa. I took a sip on the glass of water in front of me.

"Mom, how's dad?" I asked.

Its been three days since I was discharged by Uncle Dave, I spent my weekends on bed katulad narin ng siyang payo ng ob-gynecology na nag monitor ng condition ko. And ever since then, I haven't spoke with dad. Alam kong nasabi na ni mommy rito ang tungkol sa napag-usapan namin, but dad surprisingly kept his mouth shut. He's letting mom do everything. Even the master has its master.

"He's not so fine." She answered with all honesty. "Wag natin alisin sakanya ang karapatan na masaktan, he's your father. Somehow, he's blaming himself. But don't worry, honey. I've already told him na walang dapat sisihin. That he is a great dad, he played his role such fine."

Marahan akong tumango, mom is right. What happened with my life isn't dad's fault. I may not have the best childhood but I had a wonderful upbringing. With my parents and my grandparents always telling me how important it is to uphold your dignity. And besides, it was me who runs my life. So whatever I did, they're out of if.

"Kagabi ko lang sinabi sakanya ang tungkol kay Aidan, we went to the Castañedas." Mom is surprisingly calm, as if she's just reporting me a weather condition. That to day might rain but she's not really sure. "Your dad is fuming mad, he even want Aidan dead."

"Mom!" My eyes widened, napatayo ako sa kinauupuan ko.

"You sit nga!" Masungit nitong suway sakin, my limbs automatically dragged me back to my seat. "Well, you don't have to worry about that. As long as I'm with your father, he won't kill anyone. Isa pa, nag-usap na kaming dalawa. Paris, kung ako lang ang tatanungin mo I wont force you to marry Aidan and I wont force Aidan to marry you just because you are pregnant. Kung ako lang ang mapapag-usapan ng buong mundo at ng mapanghusgang lipunan, kaya ko. But I can't watch you being judged by people and I can't stand them seeing an angel as a mistake, even unwanted. Your baby doesn't deserve that. You don't deserve that."

"Mom..." I was lost for words.

Marrying Aidan. I have never considered that thought. Though I have a hint that this is how we'll end up. This is what is supposed to happen. My feelings and Aidan's will be the last to consider, the baby's sake is far more important.

"Danica and Safe will talk to their son, for now all I'm gonna ask you to do is to free yourself from worry. That wont be healthy for you and the baby."

Afternoon of the same day, while I'm peacefully having my lunch. Alaric came over to the table in the cafeteria I'm occupying alone, since I don't have squad of friends or even a head for a pal from classmates.

"Hey." Pormal kong bati dito.

His lips curved in a small smile, matapos ay binalingan ang aking kinakain. "You should eat rice."

I know he already knew I'm pregnant. Nginitian ko ito atsaka sinagot. "This is a good alternative for rice."

"But that one has a feta pepper spread." Puna nito. "Google said a bacteria Listeria from raw milk can cause miscarriage."

I was surprised, he did his research.

"Yeah, I've researched about it. So, I'll know how to look after you." Pasimple itong nag-iwas ng tingin.

Napangiti naman ako, why do I find Alaric cute? "Don't worry, it was pasteurized."

"Oh..." he then sighed. "Okay."

An awkward silence dripped between us. He isn't saying anything, neither I. I ate my burger and he's just there looking at me.

"Am I making you feel uncomfortable?"

"No, it's okay."

"I'm sorry." He withdrew an air out from his lungs. "I'm just... I'm just still astounded. You're pregnant.. by Aidan."

I paused, eyes on my food. Alaric is my friend, well I consider him a friend. I don't know how and when it all started, it's just one day, Alaric follows me around. Asking me if I'm fine, if I had a good day. Kahit hindi ko naman madalas na kinakausap, kinakausap niya parin ako. Telling me random stories. That was weird at first, but I got used to it.

"I didn't know you were friends..."

"W-we, we're not." Halos pabulong kong sagot.

"What do you mean?" The tone of his voice grew a little sharper. "Don't tell me it was just a..."

Nakagat ko ang aking ibabang labi nang sadyain nitong bitinin ang sinasabi. And with that, his thoughts were confirmed.

"Damn, Aidan!" He muttered. "Dammit, Paris. Why did you let him? What happened to you?"

He sounded frustrated, even disappointed. I tilted my chin and looked at him. "Aric, this is my life-"

"I know. I just didn't know that you're including Aidan on it." Pinantayan nito ang tingin na aking ibinibigay. "I've warned you about him."

Hindi ako nag-salita. There's no use of arguing with Alaric.

"I could kill Aidan for this." He said.

"You wont do that."

Matagal ako nitong pinakatitigan bago nito napag-pasyahan na tumayo mula sa kinauupuan.

"I have a class, I'll go ahead." Paalam nito bago ako talikuran.

I sighed deeply, I hate this feeling. I hate disappointing people around me, my hand unconsciously reached for my flat stomach.

No, you're not a disappointment.

It was already time for dinner when I reached home. I walked towards the dining area and as I expected, dinner is ready at the long table. But I didn't see mom, neither Romee. Only dad was there, sitting at the center like a king in his kingdom.

"Good evening, dad." Medyo ilag ko pang bati, I'm not even sure if I have to go near him and kiss him on the cheek like what I always do. So instead, I immediately ask a question. "Where's mom?"

"With Romee, they went out for dinner with Nisha." Simpleng tugon nito, he wasn't even looking at me. "Take a sit, let's eat."

Tumango na lamang ako at tumungo sa pwesto ko sa hapag. We're both silent as we eat. Tanging kalansing lanang ng mga kubyertos ang naririnig. Not that I'm not used to dad being silent, but now is different. Tila ba may isang napakatibay na pader ang nakapagitan samin. I instantly felt suffocated.

"You have to eat plenty than the usual. You're already two now."

Nagulat ako nang marinig iyon mula kay daddy, I looked at him and he's still busy eating. Tila ba wala itong sinabi. My heart warmed, though his voice seems stoic, he couldn't hide the underlying concern in it.

"Your mom has requested that dinner for you, don't you like it? Do you crave for something else?" He asked.

I looked at the baked salmon and veggies in my plate. This is my favorite, mom knows it.

"I know it's your favorite, but pregnancy didn't recognize favorites."

I watched dad as he eats, I can't help but smile. I know he loves me, I can feel it.

"This is okay, dad." Simple kong sabi bago ipagpatuloy ang aking pagkain.

He finished ahead of me but he didn't leave me on the table, he sips on his champagne flute and was busy about something on his phone.

Nang matapos akong kumain ay binalingan niya ako. His dark eyes were void of anything.

"I've set you an appointment with your ob, next weekend. Keep your doubled self healthy, Amanda."