Days passed quickly, and then it turned to weeks. I started craving apples. Weirdly, I think I can last all day eating nothing but apples.

Some changes in my life had begun. I should now watch what I eat. It's not that I've not done it before, but now I'm much more aware of it.

Not because I'm now eating for two doesn't mean that can justify me eating so much more than usual. I only need about three hundred additional calories per day. And I have to make sure that I get plenty of protein. I now need seventy grams of it compared to my usual intake of forty-five grams. Though the calcium requirement is still the same.

Since mom and dad are watching over my pregnancy, it's not hard for me to stay healthy. I have a regular visit with my ob, and she ensures I'm taking all the prenatal vitamins I need. Which contains more iron and folic acid.

And, of course, I'm responsible for my own and my baby's sake. So, I still do my exercise routine regularly. It can strengthen me throughout my pregnancy. And some studies suggest that staying active can boost my level of serotonin, a brain chemical linked to mood. Therefore, it can reduce stress, which is a number one no-no in pregnancy.

"Good morning, Paris!" Romee smiled at me when she saw me passing by the living room where she's at, having her breakfast. A toast with avocado, of course. "Going out?"

"Jogging." I answered.

"Oh, be careful." She said. "Anyway, what do you want for lunch? I don't have anything to do today, I was thinking of preparing our meal since tayong dalawa lang ang nandito."

"Don't worry, I can cook mine." Tanggi ko dito.

She rolled her eyes, and she reminded me so much of Mom. "Come on, do you have special request? How about a bowl of burrito? How's that?"

"Fine, whatever." I dismissed her and continued walking out.

I was stretching at first, but when I hit the sidewalk, I decided it was time to jog. I almost never run. My slow gate is almost soundless as my runners kiss the concrete, and the warmth of the exercise will do me good. The iron railings of the park, all but invisible in the inkiness, are soon behind me.

I had jogged regularly before, so my doctor told me that I could still run at my pace as long as it felt comfortable. I have to listen to my body and stop before I get tired.

However, I reminded myself that this was no longer just about me. Like, oh yes, I could still run, but I have to keep myself hydrated. I had to stay cool, so I wore a breathable shirt and yoga pants. Then I have a cap on my head to prevent melasma, plus I use sunblock.

Soon as I'm satisfied with my routine, I went home. Wala na si Romee sa living room nang dumating ako, umakyat ako saking silid upang makapaligo at makapagpalit ng damit.

After fixing myself, I went to the kitchen and saw Romee preparing lunch. She always has a ready smile for me, for everyone I guess.

"Hi, how's your jog? Are you sleepy?" She asked.

Iling lamang ang isinagot ko, naupo ako sa stool at pinanuod siya sakanyang ginagawa. She paused on chopping the ingredients and turned to the fridge.

Nagulat ako nang hainan ako nito ng isang basong tubig at platito ng sliced apple.

"You have to drink a lot of water diba? So, there you go."

"Thank you." That's all that I could utter.

Bumalik ito sakanyang ginagawa, samantalang ako nama'y hindi natiis na ignorahin ang apple na nasa harap ko. I was busy eating when I heard her speak.

"How does it feel to be pregnant, Paris?" She asked.

"Huh?" I frowned.

"Like, how does it feel to be carrying a life?" Umangat ang mga mata nito sakin. "You know what? I was thinking if I'll be able to do it just as fine as you. If I'll be able to carry a life though I'm sick..."

"You're not forever sick. You wont be." Maiksi kong tugon bago iwasan ang mga mata nito.

Romee has a heart infection. Her heart has structural problems even before birth. Heart infections are far less common than coronary artery disease, so people aren't as aware of them.

Heart infections occur when an irritant such as bacteria, a virus, a parasite, or a chemical reaches our heart muscle. An infection can cause inflammation or damage to our heart's inner lining, valves, outer membrane, or the heart muscle itself.

I started studying about Romee's case when I turned ten. I asked for Uncle Dave's help so I could further understand my sister's situation.

Doon ko nakuha kung bakit halos hindi palabasin ni daddy si Romee sa bakuran ng aming bahay, and why we're both homeschooled until high school. At kung bakit pati sa school namin ay monitored ni daddy si Romee. He's not over protective, tama lang ang ginagawa niya. We all need to protect Romee in an extra way because her condition is serious.

Hindi rin siya pwedeng mainitan at mapagod. But that doesn't mean she'll stay sick forever. Someday, kapag kaya ko na... I'll be the one to save my sister's life.

Matapos naming mananghalian ni Romee ay hinalina naman ako ng antok, and so I stayed inside my room, above my bed, sleeping all day.

It was already six in the evening when I woke up, and it felt good. I went out of my room to look for Mom, but then I remembered na hindi sila uuwi ni Daddy ngayon. Pupuntahan nila si Lolo Rigo sa Monteguero.

Nang makababa ako ay dumiretso ako sa kitchen, hoping to see Romee. But before I could even enter, I heard familiar voices talking.

"Brandon, hindi ka dapat nag-iisip ng ganyan-"

"Cameron, I'm speaking the truth. Paris Amanda turns out to be a disgrace to this family-"

"Lolo, that's not true!" Romee defended. "She's not. And please, we shouldn't be talking about this matter. Let's stop this okay? I'm sure mom and dad wont be glad if they'll hear you talks about Paris that way."

"I'm so disappointed with her."

I was taken aback by what I've heard. Slow, desolated tears ran from my unblinking eyes and dripped steadily into my nightshirt.

Then, I just found myself walking out of our house. I rode a cab without knowing where I was going. I just asked the driver to drive me off that place.

My heart is suddenly in pain. I'm not sure if I can blame my emotions on my pregnancy, but all I know is that I'm hurt.

Maybe my grandfather is right. I'm a disappointment. I disappointed him. Baka nga pati ang mga magulang ko'y na-dismaya ko.

At this point in time, my feet took me to a person I knew I needed the most.

I don't know how long I was standing in front of a fine white door with a silver knob. I was afraid to press the buzzer because I didn't know how to answer him if he ever asked me what I was doing there.

I was still crying silently when the door opened. Our eyes matched instantly. His forehead knotted.

"Paris?"

"Aidan..."

"H-hey, why are you crying?" He said before he stepped back and opened the door behind him. "Come in."

I stepped forward, feeling my limbs get wobbly. He held me in his arms and took me inside his pad.

Pinaupo niya ako sa couch sa sentro ng living room, he stay seated beside me. He isn't talking, nanatili itong naka-masid sakin. Then I felt his arm go around me, pulling me into an embrace.

Miraculously, I felt soothed. My aching heart seems to find its remedy.

"Paris, will it be too much if I'll ask you what happened?" He whispered. "What's wrong? Why are you crying? Who made you cry?"

He sounded as if he was a brave one who'd defend me against whoever made me burst.

"Is it about your family? Your mom and dad?" He urged me to talk. "Come on, please. Tell me what's wrong?"

Marahan akong umiling. Ayokong sabihin iyon sakanya, ayokong ipakipag-usap pa sa iba ang nadatnan kong usapan.

I turned to look at him. His eyes were of worry and concern.

"Anong ginagawa mo kapag hindi ka okay?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I get wasted. Beer perhaps. Do you want some?"

Mabilis akong umiling. Any alcohol I drink reaches my baby rapidly through my bloodstream, crossing the placenta, and my baby can end up with higher levels of blood alcohol than I have. So, no.

"Well, other than that... when I'm not okay, I draw. I paint. Do you know how to paint?"

Muli akong umiling. I appreciate art, but I don't do art. I don't even I think I have an artistic mind, for that matter.

"Or, when I'm feeling sad and a bit disoriented I looked at my paintings. How about that? Do you want to try that?" Maingat niyang tanong.

"I can try..." I answered in a small voice.

He smiled and stood up to guide me in a room filled with paintings. May ilang mantsa pa ng pintura ang carpeted floor, kamot-ulo ako nitong nilingon.

"Pasensya ka na, medyo magulo. Nag-paint kasi ako nung isang gabi hindi ko naaayos." He said.

"May problema ka?" I asked him.

Kumunot ang noo nito.

"Sabi mo nag-ppaint ka if you're not okay... so you're not okay?"

Mataman ako nitong tinitigan bago marahang ngumiti. "I was just bothered, but now I'm fine."

Tumango-tango naman ako atsaka inilibot ang aking tingin sa paligid. Some of his painting was framed and organized hanged on the wall. Different hues and colors attacked my eyes.

"When I look at that painting, I feel like I'm back to being a kid. Running across the shore near at the rest house of my grandparents..." he pointed his hand at the painting of a sunrise, where the sun dominates it all. In different shades of yellow.

"Based on psychological research, color yellow will make you feel nostalgic. So maybe that's the reason why you're feeling it." I said, nilingon ko ito. "You know why paintings are somehow becomes a remedy for people?"

Umangat ang sulok ng labi nito habang pinag-mamasdan ako na tila ba aliw na aliw. "Hold it, little doctor. If science can explain, art has a word for that too..."

"Oh, so okay. May I hear it?" Humalukipkip ito atsaka ito inangatan ng kilay.

"Based on Pablo Picasso, art washes the soul from the dust of everyday life..." his smirk turned into a wide smile.

Napangiti rin ako rito, tumango-tango ako. "Creating art provides a distraction, giving your brain a break from your usual thoughts. The average person has sixty thousand thoughts per day and ninety five percent of them are exactly the same day in, day out.  When you get totally immersed in a creative endeavor, you may find yourself in what's known as 'the zone' or in a state of 'flow'. A meditative-like state focuses your mind and temporarily pushes aside all your worries."

Hindi naman siya nag-patalo at agad na dinugtungan ang aking sinabi. "Leonardo da Vinci said, painting embraces all the ten functions of the eye, that is to say, darkness, light, body and color, shape and location, distance and closeness, motion and rest."

Now, I like where this conversation is going. An added information for me, it's healthy.

"Creating art trains you to concentrate on details and pay more attention to your environment. In that way, it acts like meditation." He said.

"Yeah, but I don't paint."

"Art isn't just about painting, Paris." He guided me to a wooden table.

Ipinaghila niya ako ng upuan at doon pinapwesto. Tinungo niya ang isang eskaparte sa sulok ng silid atsaka ako binalikan. He placed a box of coloring materials in front of me, next is a coloring book.

"An adult coloring book can help you ease your stress." Sabi niya. "This idea was first popularized in France."

I held the color in my hand like a kid in her art class, and my eyes were on the coloring book as I mindlessly answered. "In France where the consumption of antidepressants, tranquilizers and sleeping pills are unjustifiably high."

He took the seat beside me, nakapangalumbabang pinag-masdan ako nito when I started coloring the book.

"What is it Aidan?" I asked, giving him a sideways glance.

"Why are you so intelligent?"

"I don't know..." my lips pursed as my eyes squinted, thinking about what color I should use on the book portion.

"And do you know that we, men... find smart women sexy?" He said in a low voice.

I froze, blinked twice, and immediately hauled back an answer. "Well, recent studies said that men tend to be less attracted to women who outsmarted them..."

"Maybe they didn't include me..." mahinang tawa ang siyang pinakawalan niya. "I was never... less attracted to you."

I shut my eyes for seconds, feeling the mad beating of my heart. Then I dropped the color on the table and faced him. There's something weird inside me. And I think I'll explode in my seat if I'm not gonna say this.

"Do you also know that based on science, sex can improve mood and combat anxiety by reducing stress signals in the brain. Like a daily intercourse for two weeks led to cell growth in the hippocampus, the part of the brain that keeps stress levels under control-"

"Now, wait." He cut me off. He's eyeing me with disbelief. "Are you? Are you... asking me to have sex with you?"

My cheeks turned crimson. I tilted my chin defiantly. "Does it sound like it?"

"Well if that is..." he shook his head and gave me a lopsided smile. "Paris Amanda, you have a better way to turn a man on."

"So, Castañeda what?!" Medyo iritado kong tanong.

He stared at me for a while before filling the room with a bark of laughter.