Only the united beat of sex and heart together can create ecstasy.

When I closed my eyes I felt he had many hands, which touched me everywhere, and many mouths, which passed so swiftly over me, and with a wolflike sharpness, his teeth sank into my fleshiest parts.

Naked now, he lay his full length above me. And I surprisingly enjoyed his weight on me, enjoyed being crushed under his body.

I wanted him soldered to me, from mouth to feet. Shivers passed through my body.

"Aidan, come on... f-faster..." I demanded in a moan, toes curled.

"Damn, baby... you're aggressive..." he breathed in the skin of my neck, making me arched my back.

Without minding anything, I reached for his face so I could kiss him. Kiss him fully. I wanted to kiss him forever. I blocked out all thought about what this was, what it might mean, what further mess I might create for myself...

And I kissed him until reason seeped out through my pores and I became a living pulse, conscious only of what I wanted to do to him...

I woke up alone in the huge mattress, Aidan was nowhere to be seen. I got up and searched for him but I didn't see him. I hurriedly fix myself and leave his pad.

Aidan wont find me, I know. Last time, iniwanan ko rin siya but he didn't bother me. Mukhang hindi nga kami sana mag-kikita pang muli kung hindi ko siya pinuntahan.

Nang makauwi ako sa bahay ay hindi ko na nadatnan pa sila Lola Cam, pilit kong iwinaksi saking isipan ang aking mga narinig. Marahil ay may punto naman talaga si Lolo Brad, I need to understand him. Hindi ako dapat na magalit, I'm at fault.

Lumipas muli ang mga araw, and I'm surprised to find out that I'm missing Aidan's presence. Aidan is somehow different to everyone, he's the only person whom I can talk and learn with both at the same time, without even having the intent of learning.

With others, I rather not talk. Dahil baka pag-nagsalita ako ay iba ang maging interpretasyon nila. They might think that I'm being cocky speaking up my mind.

After my last class, I walked pass the corridor when Alaric came after me. I remembered the last conversation I had with him so I was hesitant to smile.

"Hi." He said with a smile on his face.

"Hi." Ginantihan ko ang ngiti nito.

Pumanabay ito saking pag-lalakad at nakaringgan ko pa ito ng pag-tikhim. "Sorry about last time, Paris. I shouldn't have said that."

"That's okay. What you said is based on what you feel about me, it's okay Aric I didn't take it against you."

Humugot ito ng malalim na hininga bago muling mag-salita. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, I'm adjusting to changes, but nonetheless I'm fine." I said.

"Is the baby giving you a hard time?"

Sabay kaming huminto sa tapat ng building, waiting for our van to pick me up. "No, not really. My little one behaves well."

"Looks like the little one is more you than my brother..." biro nito na sinamahan ng isang ngisi.

I let out a brief chuckle and shook my head. "Yeah, I bet so."

Napalingon ako sa van na huminto saming harapan, I looked at Aric again. "Hey, I have to go."

"Yeah, you take care Paris." He smiled.

"See you around."

Iyon lamang at nag-paakay na ako sa bodyguard na bumaba upang payungan ako at alalayan papasok sa van.

Nang makarating sa bahay ay si mommy ang sumalubong sakin. She's wearing a kitchen apron and her hair is on messy bun, yet still she look so elegant. Like, how can she pull that?

"Nandyan ka na pala?" She paused on what she's doing with the pork when I kissed her cheek. "How's school? Did it stress you?"

"No." I leaned at the counter to see what she's doing. "You're cooking."

"Just trying it out." She shrugged. "I'm following all Nayumi's instructions about this, I should get the taste and if not, your father wont have any choice but to eat everything."

"That's just a piece of cake for dad, he'll do everything for you." I smiled, mom did too.

"Anyway, I have prepared you an apple and cheese. It's on the fridge." Akmang hihinto pa siya sa ginagawa nang pigilan ko na ito.

"Mom, ako na." I said as I walked towards the refrigerator, kinuha ko roon ang platito ng medium apple and hard Swiss cheese.

"I told Dave na mansanas ang pinaglilihian mo, he said that it's healthy for you and our baby." Mom smiled. "He even mentioned about fiber requirements for pregnant women that increases... ugh I don't know how many grams! Goodness, basta kumain ka ng prutas palagi."

Natawa naman ako sa inasta ni mommy. "Twenty eight or thirty grams of fiber."

"Yeah, yeah. I know that you already know it kaya hindi ko na tinandaan ang mga pinagsasabi ni Dave." She rolled her eyes.

After finishing my food, I excused myself to mom so that I could sleep and wakeup before dinner. I understand that I now need to sleep longer than the usual so that my heart can rest since it's already working four to five times harder now to keep enough blood flowing through my body and my baby's body. And my kidneys are working harder to expel waste products from my body too.

In my dream the sky is blue, the birds sing and there is a bee on clover nearby. The streams run clear and there are fish in the river. Next to me is a small boy, telling me how he sees the world.

My forehead frowned as I watched him stared at the world before us. "What's your name, little one?"

"Ricos." He answered.

"Should we care for the world?" I asked him.

"Yes." He says, like he's surprised I should even have to ask.

"Should we be nice to animals?"

"Of course!"

"Should we kill and harm them?"

It took him a little while before he looked at me, a vivid baby blue that softly melted into a milky green. I could even see the flecks of silver in his eyes. He didn't say a word but his eyes fill with tears.

"Should humans kill one another?"

With that, he stood up and started running away. He runs like he just saw a monster. I call after him but he wont return. He's a child who's still able to see through the light of the creator, he was never taught the answers, he feels them with in.

When I woke up, my head was still on that dream. The little boy and his answers to my questions are just so precious. My hand automatically went down to touch my belly, I smiled.

Bumangon ako at nag-ayos ng aking sarili bago lumabas ng silid, I stopped halfway down on the grand staircase when I heard several voices from the living room.

My heart beats so fast soon as I recognized my grandfather's stern baritone.

"Paris Amanda had always been stubborn, she's hardheaded. I don't think she's minding the lessons we've all taught her as a kid. Dahil kung ganoo'y hindi sana siya naging disgrasyada."

Those words immediately caused a deep cut in my heart. Naramdaman ko ang pamamasa ng aking mga mata bago umagos ang mainit na luha pababa saking pisngi.

"Anyway, kung handa naman pala ang batang Castañeda na panagutan ang anak niyo'y mabuti. Iwas eskandalo narin iyon, para din naman kay Paris iyan. Para hindi siya kahiya-hiya-"

"Dad, my daughter is not an embarrassment." It was mom's voice that cuts him off.

"If that's what you say so." Iyon ang naging tanging tugon nito bago mag-salitang muli. "If only she's as fine as her sister, wala sanang magiging problema."

"With all due respect, Sir. I don't appreciate you comparing my daughters. Romee is Romee and Paris is Paris, nonetheless they're both mine."

Lalo akong nanigas saking kinatatayuan nang marinig ang tinig ng aking ama. His voice held contempt, it sounded as dangerous as the night.

"I hope this discussion will end here, I can't promise I can still control myself the next time I hear someone insulting my kids. Even if that someone is you, I hope you understand. Excuse me." The next thing I've heard is silence.

And before I could step back, dad is already in front of me. His dark eyes were darted on me.

"D-dad..." I bit my lower lip and quickly shove away the tears on my face. "I-I was just-"

"Are you hungry?" He asked gently.

Marahan akong umiling. His eyes went down to his wrist watch before he looks at me again.

"It's near six, come on. Let's see if they already readied the table." Nagpatiuna itong maglakad patungo sa komedor.

Nadatnan namin roon ang iilang mga kasambahay na nag-hahanda ng hapunan. Dad called one of them.

"Bring us our dinner at the balcony and tell my queen I'm joining Paris." He said, he turned his head on me when I called him.

"Dad, w-why not here?"

"I know you've heard everything, Amanda. And I'm not inconsiderate to add a salt in your wound."

I felt a sudden warm in my heart as I watched dad walked towards the huge balcony of our house, sinundan ko ito roon. At kagaya ng siyang kafustuhan niya'y doon kaming dalawa nag-hapunan.

Sa gitna ng aming tahimik na hapunan ay muling nag-salita si daddy.

"I've already talked with the Castañedas, they're asking for your hand in marriage."

I froze, unable to say a word.

"I didn't give it." Nilingon ko ito at naabutan ang pag-kibit ng mga balikat nito. "It's not my hand for me to decide."

"D-dad?" I frowned at him, a little puzzled.

"What? Are you expecting me to force you in something you'll be tied forever?" He asked. "Amanda, I believe you're wise enough to make good decisions."

Am I really hearing things? Dad? My father? The mighty Red Franco Santa de Leones, believes in me?

"Your mom and I believes in you, Paris. I hope you too, believes on us. That our words should be the one that matters the most, not the words you hear from anyone."

Hindi ko na napigilan pa ang sarili ko, napatayo ako saking kinauupuan at mabilis na lumapit kay daddy. I hugged him tight and he let me, I cried like a kid. Tila ako isang bata na na nakahanap ng kakampi.

I felt his arms around me as he kissed the top of my head.

"I love you, daddy..." I cried.

Napalingon kami nang makarinig nang pag-tikhim, there I saw mom. She's smiling, though her eyes were pooled by tears.

She opened her arms and I rushed to hug her, tightly.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry that you have to hear those things..." she embraced me warmly. "I'm sorry, my baby... I'm so sorry..."

"Mom, none of this was your fault." I said.

"I am your mom, I should protect you... and I'm sorry kung hindi ko nasalag ang mga salitang iyon na kailangan mo pang marinig..."

My heart broke on the tone of her voice. Mom will always be my weakness and my strength.

We finished our dinner at the balcony, mom joined us. Ang sabi niya'y hindi natuloy ang dinner kasalo ang mga grandparents ko dahil sa naging tensyon sa pagitan ni daddy at Lolo Brad, si Lola Cameron na ang siyang nag-aya ritong umuwi.

I felt sorry for what happened between them, but mom told me that I shouldn't be.

After dinner, I went to my room still thinking about what I've heard. Tila ba hindi ako noon patatahimikin.

It took me awhile before I decided to get into my jeans and fit in my sweater. Tahimik na ang kabahayan nang lumabas ako.

The cold evening wind welcomed me, I took a cab and went on Aidan's pad. I need to see him now.

Without any hesitation, I pressed the buzzer thrice. The door opened, there I saw Aidan in his cargo short with nothing on top.

Nakita ko ang pag-kunot ng kaniyang noo bago ito dahan-dahang humakbang paatras upang patuluyin ako.

I gasped when my back touches the door soon as it closed. Aidan started towering me, locking me, having both of his hand on the door behind me.

His jaw angled as he gave me a stern look. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"A man can tell if a woman is pregnant or not by the way he's feeling." Matapang kong sagot.

His eyes squinted in disbelief. "I know. But I need confirmation, Paris Amanda."

"Then I'm confirming it." I tilted my chin. "Yes, Aidan Zeus Castañeda I am almost nine weeks pregnant. Now, what are you going to do?"

His eyes were trained on some invisible spectra, his heavy eyelids a fraction too slow to blink, his irises too stationary. It was as if his brain was suffering a massive short circuit and was struggling to compute.

He then moved into my line of sight. Touching my cheek with the side of his thumb, making me notice the stain of paint in it.

"You're painting?"

Tumango ito, sukat doon ko lang napansin ang ilang kalat pang mantsa ng pintura maging sa nakahantad nitong dibdib.

I tilted my head upward to his face, sliding my eyes into focus. "What now, Castañeda?"

"Let's get married..." halos bulong na lamang iyon na lumabas sa bibig nito.

I let out a sarcastic smile and shook my head. "You're marrying me because I'm pregnant-"

"You're pregnant because I'm marrying you."