***

I followed Selina into a large room that was completely bare except for a vanity and a large bed at the far end of the wall that faced a large window that ran across the entire side of the wall facing out into the city. It was only now that I realized that I had spent the entire night out as the first signs of daylight began to break through night sky. This was clearly a spare room as it lacked any person touch and seemed so devoid of life.

I watched as Selina placed a bag on a table before lighting a candle breathing some life into the room. "Before anything we need to have a talk."

There was a seriousness in her voice that surprised me as she usually spoke in a sultry and teasing manner. Her change in attitude made me feel like I had already done something wrong. "About?"

"Batman." She stated, turning to fully face me her eyes reflecting the same seriousness as her voice. "You cannot tell Ivy or Harley who Batman is."

"I wasn't planning to." I replied firmly, although I felt the weight of that resentment heavily on my chest. The thought of revealing Batman or Robin's identity had never crossed my mind, in fact thinking about it now was horrifying. Knowing that danger that they would be in if the city's villains knew about who was under the cowl. "Out of curiosity why do you care?"

Instantly her mood shifted as a smirk tugged on her lips. "Didn't anyone tell you? Curiosity killed the cat."

"But satisfaction brought it back."

There seemed to be a brief moment of pride in her eyes that quickly slipped away as she walked over to the large window and looked out towards the city as the pink hues of morning twilight began to break through. "Not many people see the beauty in Gotham."

"I've always hated Gotham." I admitted as I joined her by the window remembering everything that this city has not only taken from me, but also countless others. "It's a city that takes so much but gives nothing in return."

A look that I couldn't completely recognize came over her features, one that spoke a million words but said nothing at all. "I felt the same as you at one point. That was until it finally gave me something."

I knew better than to ask what that something was, only because it was clear that it was something that she wasn't going to share. Especially to a girl that was a stranger to her.

"Gotham creates demons. Gotham creates villains. Gotham turns good men bad, and bad men good. Gotham created Batman." She expressed, her words strongly reminding me of the ones Bruce said to me only two nights ago. "Gotham needs Batman. That's why we have to protect his secret. As much as I hate to admit it he's just too important."

"I know." I replied quietly as I joined her by the large window. Seeing the city almost like it was the first time, the city that I grew up in and ultimately brought me here. "Before any of this I remember how it felt. Seeing the Batsignal illuminate the night sky and feeling safe, knowing that he would be there to protect us. Protect the city."

"What finally changed your mind?" She questioned, the sudden change in topic stunning me for a moment. As I quickly began to search the true reason why I left because in the end it felt that there were many. "I can imagine how hard it was for you to leave your pretty Robin."

"They didn't trust me. They found out who killed my parents and hid it from me." I replied though I knew the pain that I felt ran deeper than that. Even though what Bruce stopped me from doing was the turning point in that pain, the moment that drove me to leave it wasn't what made me realize that it was change I needed. "Worst of all he didn't even notice. He did even notice that I was hurting or that something inside me had changed."

Selina seemed to study me for a moment, her green eyes seeming to search for something. I wasn't sure what she was looking for, all I wanted was someone who understood. Someone who saw me, not the version of me they wanted to see. "Do you know why Ivy accepted you?"

Instinctively I shrugged believing that Poison Ivy's reasoning was clear. "I assumed it was to please Harley."

"You see it too?" Selina replied with a knowing smile, though it was more of a statement than a question. Seeing her smile now I understood why Bruce with the strong moral code would be drawn to her. It was difficult to imagine the justice seeking Bruce Wayne to fall for a criminal, one who was considered the city's greatest thief. But seeing Selina now. Hearing her talk, she was so much like Bruce it was astounding and I knew that they eased each other's pain.

"They don't."

"Not yet." Selina stated confidently, though everything Selina said or did radiates confidence and certainty. "Ivy accepted you because of what you said, it resonated with her own reason for being who she is. Who we all are."

I recognized that there was supposed to be something deeper that I should be understanding only I was only more confused. "I don't understand."

"I'm sure they'll tell you eventually, but they are their stories are not mine to tell. I had to sell my body to men every night just make it one more day. Ivy was betrayed by a man and Harley was abused by one. We were nothing."

For what seemed like an eternity I was speechless, for the first time understanding them. To the everyday citizen of Gotham the city's villains were evil simply because that was who they are. People to thrive on being cruel and causing chaos. Now I knew it was so much more than that. That they became who they were from the pain and cruelties that they experienced themselves. "You were powerless and now you're powerful. Stronger than the men that hurt you."

"I don't want you to get the wrong idea. Not all men are bad, even if that's what Ivy believes." Selina replied allowing me to realize that this wasn't a talk meant for the two of us to bond and get to know each other. This was a lesson, that she was giving the knowledge on the city and the people in it. That the inner workings of Gotham were much more complicated than I knew. "There's my Bat and your Robin."

It seemed that any mention on Robin or Dick would be enough to cause all the air to leave my lungs. "Yeah."

"Do you love him?"

"Yes. But it's not enough. Not anymore." I admitted knowing that to some degree she understood even if she wasn't willing to admit it to herself. Like Ivy she might be denying it or ignoring it was there at all, but Selina's feelings for Bruce ran deeper than either might want to accept. I on the other hand knew exactly that I felt. The love that had me knowing that Dick would be waking up any minute now and that he would find that I wasn't at his side. That some part of me would feel the pain that he felt, because I would also be waking up without him. That pain was ripping its way inside of me now, but that love couldn't be the thing that defined me. "All I want is to finally have some control over my life, I just let things keep happening to me and I blindly follow along."

"Sit." She ordered as she gestured towards a chair. Once I did Selina moved my hair to the side unclipping the golden necklace around my neck, and I found that my hand instinctively went to the place around my neck that it should have been. Moving in front of me Selina took my hand and placed the necklace in my palm closing my fingers around it tightly. "You never forget. But you won't let those memories drag you down. Ever."

I could find no words and maybe there weren't anymore words to say. It was like all the important words were said. Selina seemed to think the same as she opened her bag and immediately began to spread her makeup products across the vanity. The next couple of minutes were spent in complete silence as Selina worked on my face and hair. It wasn't long before I was looking at myself in the mirror and although it was still me, the change inside of me was now visible on the outside too.

"Now you're one of us." Selina declared as we both looked at our reflection through the dusty mirror. "You've had a long night. You should rest."

I said nothing as she walked out of the room leaving me on my own all I could do was look at myself in the mirror, I wasn't being vain and admiring Selina's work, only attempting to see myself in a new light. Wanting to wrap my mind around who I was going to become, this better version of myself that Selina said I could be.

Bruce Wayne underestimated me? That was his mistake, but I would not longer live up to what Bruce and Dick expected of me. I would be however the hell I wanted to be.

That meant I didn't need anything that same from Bruce, or the pity that he felt towards me. Reaching into my coat pocket I pulled out the check he thought would solve my problems. There were just some problems that couldn't be solved with money, without a moment of hesitation I placed the check over the flame of the candle and watched it turn to ash.

Now I felt no doubts about what I've just done, I knew my decision wasn't the best and that in many ways I was wrong. But it was the best decision for me and for what I wanted and desired. Maybe in a couple years I would look back an regret the decision I made tonight or I would see it as the best decision I ever made. But right now as the the sun fully set I felt that pain, my only consolation being Selina's words telling me that I couldn't let that love drag me down.

***