A tide of darkness had flooded her mind, black waves churning, towering, collapsing, over and over again. She was adrift, with nothing to hold on to. Caught up in a vortex, with no way of escape.

...where are you?

Somebody was calling, from far away. But whom?

She could not see, could not feel, and did not want to. But she could still hear, and that voice kept calling, over and over.

...come back to me! He cried out in desperation. Don't give in to this!

Who are you talking to? She asked. I am nobody. I am nothing. And I have nowhere to go.

That's not true! You're somebody to me.

That familiar voice sounded very close now, so close that she could almost feel him again. And she remembered what that had been like. The black sea became more restful, the forces of the tides pulling at her began to soften. She remembered that feeling now, the feeling of not being alone. But was it worth feeling the pain again, too?

...please come back to me, he pleaded.

If I'm somebody, I must have a name, she thought. Don't I?

Of course you do, Null!

And in the expanse of her mind, suddenly, there was light. Not just one, but seven - seven stars that broke through the darkness to guide her way back to a safe haven.

~ ~ ~

She woke up with a long drawn moan of pain on her lips.

These kinds of nightmares were the worst, because even the process of waking from them seemed to drag out infinitely. As she finally managed to pull herself back into reality, her heart was pounding heavily in her chest, and the sheets clung to her sweaty body.

She felt her stomach turn and jumped out of bed, making it to the bathroom just in time. Cowering on the cold floor next to the toilet, shivering violently, she wished she could be in the darkness again, nothing but a shadow contained inside a shell, oblivious to its pain.

Don't think like that, Lars voice spoke softly inside her mind.

She could feel him carefully taking over a part of the body to share her pain and ease the burden. It was very different from their usual symbiosis. This time, it was almost like invisible hands were helping her up, to rest back against the wall behind them. They sat there for a while in silence, before they felt strong enough to get up and back to bed.

Above them, the skylight of the captain's cabin of the Blackstar provided a panorama of the cosmos, but her gaze went past it, far beyond anything that human eyes were capable of seeing.

I was worried, he whispered, that you wouldn't come back from that dark place...

His voice was soft and soothing, and he seemed to wrap himself around her mind like a blanket. The dark tide inside of her was gone now. All that remained were fog-like shadows that shifted and whirled, but they receded further with every word he spoke.

I tried to pull you out of that nightmare, but...

You were there? she asked.

Yes. But I could only watch... I tried to call you but you didn't seem to hear me... Oh Null, I'm so sorry.

You are sorry? she asked, surprised. I'm the one who just put us through that. My memories suck.

No, he concurred. I'm the one who put you through this. Through everything. Three hundred seventy-one times. All that happened in these past months... I kept trying to convince myself that I was giving you a choice, that I was just helping you to do what you wanted, but...

Between them, the shadows now whirled and churned, rapidly growing to towering heights and coalescing again, like a restless sea under the pull of two opposing tidal forces.

I don't understand, she said.

The truth is, when I awoke with you, I was just terrified of... dying, again, he said, his voice now heavy with a pain so tangible that it made their whole body shudder.

I was selfish. I didn't want to feel my consciousness slip away again, but I never even considered... I never imagined what kind of pressure it would put on you to have me by your side. I don't regret the part I played in saving this body, not for one second. But after that, when we were safe, when we were on Epicura and Amy Larsson was still a nobody, or at least when we were on New Elysium – perhaps I should have just...

Just what?

...let you be free of me.

His words cut through the last remaining shadows, and they fell heavy like droplets of lead, disappearing as they hit the ground. And just like that, the space inside them was clearer than it had ever been. The veils were pulled back and all lay exposed.

They stared at each other, each from their side. Organic and inorganic. Neuron and circuit. Brain and machine. And she could see him.

"But I wouldn't want to be without you ever again," she said.

"Are you really sure about that?" he asked, his face filled with worry. "I don't want to make you suffer. I don't want you to carry the guilt of decisions you were forced to make only because of me. I... I want you to be happy."

They were back on the beach. But this time, it was nighttime. The fog was gone, and the sky above them was clear and adorned with a million stars. The sea cast playful waves around her naked feet. Before her, just out of reach, with his own naked feet planted in the dry white sand, stood a man. He was dressed in black where she was dressed in white. He was her opposite in every other way, too. He was the light to her darkness, the stars to her night sky. The one to her zero.

"Maybe I wasn't meant to be happy, in the way that other people are," she said.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked.

"Look, I'm not gonna be able to promise you that I will live this life without any regrets. I also cannot promise that I won't be affected by the decisions we make," she explained, "And I know that annoys the hell out of you, so, I'm sorry, I guess."

Her lips turned upward in a crooked smile as she apologized, and he smiled back. It was the oddest sight, to really see him like that, and not just feel him. She wanted to reach out and touch him to see what that would feel like, but she was scared of breaking the illusion and ripping them from this place too soon.

"But if there is one thing I will never regret," she said, "It's making that deal with you that got us out of that hellhole."

"I don't know what to say to that," he murmured, staring down at the sand in front of his feet. "It's just... I'm just worried for you. It's all I ever am. Every second of my existence, I worry about you, about keeping you safe and happy. And I ponder if I made the right choice, back then on Epicura, when we stole that ship, and on New Elysium when we-"

"Sounds a lot like 'organic indecisiveness' to me," she noted with a smirk.

He lifted his gaze and stared at her, eyes wide. And then he began to laugh, with a sound so organic and real that it made her question which one of them truly was one, and who was zero.

He crossed the distance between them with two quick strides, and before she could protest, he reached out and took her hand in his. A tingling sensation filled her, and it spread all the way through her side of their mind into their physical body, which still lay on their bed in their cabin aboard the Blackstar, staring into space.

"You're absolutely right, as usual," he said, pnesively rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand, "I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner. I'm sorry if I was impatient with you. I guess... I guess I still have a lot to learn about what it means to be human."

"It's okay. Me too," she said, still grinning.

He smiled back at her and placed his other hand at the side of her face, and then leaned forward. As they stood there in silence, palm to palm, fingers interlaced, eyes closed and foreheads touching, a strange sensation washed over her. She had no memories from before she had been broken, but she recognized that feeling immediately.

She was complete.

I found a vast space of opportunity, she thought, just not outside, where I had expected it.