The light was painful, more so than ever before. Blinking his eyes open, Frog wondered if the afterlife looked similar to the world of the living. The one he looked at now, a little hazy at the edges, reminded him of the prisoner den at the SeaClan camp.

"Rainberry, he's awake! He's awake!"

The tabby started, soft moss shifting beneath him. He could have sworn he heard Eggpaw's voice, as energetic as ever. He moved his head too quickly in his search for the words' source and felt it begin to pound, the fog before his eyes growing darker.

"Eggpaw, not so loud!" another voice hissed and Rainberry suddenly appeared before Frog. Despite the aggravated tone of voice he directed at the over-excited apprentice, his eyes glimmered happily.

"How long have I been here?" Frog croaked, looking about Rainberry's den. It smelled sharp, tangy and sweet all at the same time, confusing his senses.

"Nearly a half moon," the tom replied. "I've been giving you poppy seeds to keep you asleep. Didn't want you walking around with those broken ribs of yours until they'd had time to heal." He flicked his blue tail at Frog's left side, where the fur was a mess of kinks and clumps.

"Broken ribs?" Frog muttered. The last thing he remembered before waking up was...

He looked up at Rainberry in pure astonishment. "I'm alive?" The medicine cat snorted before turning back to his herb storage.

"You were brilliant!" Eggpaw said, practically bouncing off the walls of the den. "The whole Clan's been talking about it! Sleetstar even mentioned your battle with the seal at the last Gathering and MoorClan wouldn't believe him, even though the whole Clan agreed they'd seen it with their own eyes." His amber eyes shone, striped sides heaving as he ran out of breath.

Frog remained silent, unsure of what to say. All he remembered of his ordeal with the creature - a seal, Eggpaw called it - was the fear and pain. The wounds from his battle still stung, especially when Rainberry's gentle paws rubbed herbs into them. He ached all over, every movement painful.

When the medicine cat finished, the tabby's messy pelt was covered with poultices, pastes and cobwebs. Aside from the broken ribs, he'd also wrenched a claw while hanging on to the cliff for dear life and nearly lost an eye when falling unconscious, which explained the fog. Rainberry assured him that, with enough celandine and rest, Frog's eyes would be back to as normal as possible.

"You were lucky to survive that trial," Rainberry said. "StarClan must have been watching over you." Frog nodded hesitantly, unsure of whether he believed in StarClan or not. He preferred to think that his luck had not yet run out.

The medicine cat watched him sadly. "You're alive, which proves your innocence, and I've done all I can to heal you, but there are some things I cannot do. It will take some getting used to." The tom motioned for Frog to stand with a flick of his tail.

The comfort of the moss nest fell away as the tabby did so and he found it hard to stand. Attributing it to his tired muscles and numerous injuries, Frog looked at Rainberry skeptically and stepped forward to prove he was fine. The movement caused him to sway and he barely caught himself from tumbling over. Eggpaw rushed over to help, pushing him back upright.

All Frog could do was stare at the place where his tail had once been. Layers of herbs and cobwebs covered the stump, helping it heal. The back half of his body felt lighter but, inside, the heaviness of loss weighed him down. He'd never realized a tail could be so important.

Taking another shaky step forward, he wobbled on his paws, unused to the feeling of misbalance. Eggpaw watched him with wide eyes and Frog tried to make the best of his situation, giving the apprentice a reassuring look. Spotting a spider on the floor of the den, he attempted to jump onto it.

The tabby collapsed in a heap on the floor, the landing much harder to go through with than he'd anticipated. He growled deep in his throat, frustrated and embarrassed by the display.

A gasp sounded from the entrance of the medicine den and Frog turned to see two amber eyes staring at him. The same stricken look graced her features, a mirror reflection of the one from the day of his trial. He grimaced, turning away from the she-cat.

Swanpaw disappeared into the medicine storage with Rainberry while Eggpaw helped Frog to his paws, glancing nervously between the tom and the she-cat. The injured tabby refused to meet his eyes, sure the apprentice could feel the heat of embarrassment radiating off of him.

"She's been in here everyday," Eggpaw murmured. Frog ignored the apprentice, shuffling over to the bed of moss and collapsing in it. To his annoyance, the white and grey tom followed.

"She feels guilty," he continued.

"I thought all SeaClan cats knew what a trial by water was?" Frog replied.

Eggpaw nodded. "It's a ritual from long ago. In the old days, it was believed cats needed to be sacrificed to the sea for the Clan to avoid StarClan's displeasure. Now, we use it as judgment."

The tabby snorted. "Seems unfair to me. I don't need her pity - or yours."

The apprentice flinched. "There was nothing either of us could do to stop it. We're only apprentices." Frog flicked his ear in dismissal, unwilling to believe the tom.

"You really think I could stand up to Sleetstar? To Gannetfur?" Eggpaw pressed on, curling his tail over his paws. The tabby watched its twitching tip, the acute feeling of loss growing stronger.

He sighed, knowing Eggpaw spoke the truth. Even if the two apprentices had said something, the rest of the Clan was bent on going through with the trial. Rainberry was right; he was lucky to be alive.

Fur brushed against him as the apprentice settled down beside his nest. Grudgingly, Frog shifted over to make room for him. Though all he wanted was to mourn the loss of his tail and wonder about what this meant for his future, the tabby found some comfort in Eggpaw's company. They were silent, listening to the rustling of herbs and the soft murmuring of Swanpaw and Rainberry.

"We've been giving her poppy seeds and thyme, but every time she looks at you she feels sick again," the striped tom said quietly.

"Why?"

Eggpaw shifted uncomfortably. "The trial... You're the only one to survive it, or any encounter with a seal."

"And that makes her feel guilty?"

"Just brings back painful memories."

Rainberry and Swanpaw emerged from the medicine storage before Frog had a chance to ask further questions. Eggpaw said his goodbyes, rushing out of the den at the sound of his mentor's voice, leaving the tabby to puzzle over what a strong, beautiful she-cat like Swanpaw could possibly hide.

A peculiar feeling rose into his chest as he searched her pristine coat for signs of her past, but the only thing to be found was a small nick in her left ear. Putting the thoughts aside, Frog settled down to a night of dreams full of splashes, seals and swans.

<<>> <<>> <<>> <<>> <<>>

Another half moon passed before Frog felt he was well enough to leave the medicine den. Feeling especially clumsy without his tail, he refused to enter the main cave; it would only lead to embarrassment. The only cats who came to visit were Eggpaw and Honeypool, who apologized sincerely for her disbelief. He accepted her apology, but remained wary of her presence.

He did not see Swanpaw in the medicine den again, but watched Rainberry taking herbs to the apprentice den often. Not having bothered to ask Eggpaw about it, her past remained a mystery, and the apprentice did not offer further explanation.

A moon after the trial, Rainberry decided it was time for Frog to start living again. The tabby refused at first, but gave in when the medicine cat mentioned the sunlight streaming in to the main cave. Padding over to the den entrance as gracefully as he could, Frog settled in a pool of it, realizing just how much he missed its warmth.

Basking in it, he attempted to ignore the stares of the SeaClan cats. Some were wondrous, others joyful, and still others hostile. Murmurs rose up, words talked behind his back, but the tabby gave them no notice until he heard the voice of Sleetstar.

"StarClan has judged him accordingly," he said. "Perhaps he should be asked to join the Clan."

Turning, Frog caught sight of the leader, who spoke to a pretty silver she-cat. She nodded, shifting her clear green gaze to the tabby. Sleetstar's eyes followed.

"You have proven your worth and survived your trial. Will you stay here and join SeaClan?" Sleetstar asked, padding over to the tom. Frog, out of respect for the leader, attempted to sit up, but the movement proved to be difficult. He lay back down with an awkward thump.

"Do I have a choice?" he asked. From his perch, he could see the water that almost took his life and its pounding reminded him of the harsh and unrelenting nature of SeaClan.

Sleetstar did not seem surprised by the question. "StarClan has proved your innocence and you are no longer our prisoner. The decision is yours."

The tabby nodded. The idea of living here never once crossed his mind while he lay in the medicine den. All of his thoughts were focused on the past rather than the future.

If he stayed, he would be subject to all of these ridiculous social structures - leaders who believed the judgment of this StarClan over their own, deputies who barked orders in the early hours of dawn, warriors who called for the deaths of others and apprentices who were powerless to stop them. They would expect him to cooperate with the cats who nearly caused his death, learning how to hunt and fight alongside them. Learning to hunt and fight without a tail, from the very basics.

But, the Clan provided him shelter and food in return for his attempt at training, and a family of sorts. Frog pictured Eggpaw, imagining the excitement in his eyes if he decided to stay, and Rainberry, who took care of him as if he were one of their own. Honeypool, who admitted her wrongs and believed that others would too, given the chance.

He thought about the world he came from: a smokey, concrete mess where every cat fended for themselves. He thought about the hundreds of times he slept out in the rain, all of the bugs he ate to keep himself alive, the loners who, though related by blood, chased him off and told him he didn't belong.

Looking into the cave, where the cats of SeaClan milled about, Frog realized that, despite their harsh nature, they still offered him a place where belonging was a possibility. A place where his past could disappear and a brighter future lay waiting. He was tired of running, and tired of being afraid.

Frog turned his green eyes to Sleetstar's. "Yes, I will join SeaClan."

To the tom's surprise, Sleetstar's eyes lit up. Before Frog could stop him, the leader stood atop the big rock, calling the Clan to a meeting. The tabby lifted himself to his paws, swaying slightly, and padded over to the gathered cats cautiously, taking a seat beside Eggpaw.

"SeaClan, today we welcome a new member into our midst. We believed him to be guilty, but our trial has proven otherwise. Perhaps it was StarClan guiding his paws - perhaps it was just sheer dumb luck, Frog thought - in order to show our Clan that he was worthy of life and, above all, a life with us."

Sleetstar's gaze fell upon Frog. "You will train alongside our apprentices, with Poolheart as your mentor. We welcome you as a member of our Clan." The silver she-cat Sleetstar spoke to earlier stepped forward, moving to stand beside Frog.

"Poolheart, you are patient and kind, and it is my hope that, under your instruction, Frog will overcome his injuries and become a full warrior of SeaClan." The tabby looked up at his new mentor and she touched her nose to his. He nodded respectfully, unsure of what to do.

A kind light filled her eyes as she spoke. "We will start training once you are feeling well. Until then, rest and gather your strengths. We have a lot of work to do." She moved, making way for the others to come congratulate him.

The mill of cats seemed endless, their words blending together. They flicked their tails over his flanks, nodded their good wishes, even licked his ears and nose. Eggpaw's excitement, evident in the way he pushed his nose into Frog's chest, nearly toppled the newly named apprentice over.

Only two cats did not approach him: Gannetfur and Swanpaw. The former's eyes narrowed, two glowing slits in a dark corner of the cave, while the she-cat averted her gaze. Even from where he sat, Frog could see her small frame trembling.

The cue finally drew to a close and Frog made his way back to the medicine den, exhausted by the event. He wondered whether he had made the right decision; really, what choice did a tail-less tom have?

Turning to look around the main cave one more time, as if searching for an answer, he caught sight of Swanpaw's amber eyes. This time, she did not look away, only twitched her whiskers sadly. Then, she moved into the apprentice den, disappearing from view just as she had that first night.

<<>> <<>> <<>> <<>> <<>>

Poolheart stayed true to her word and, as soon as Frog felt himself ready, their training commenced. He marvelled at her patience, the way she explained each and every technique over and over until he finally understood them. Training sessions with Poolheart became enjoyable once Frog realized where his paws stood.

The practice of these theorized techniques did not come so quickly. Without a tail, he needed to be extra careful when so much as traversing the rocky terrain of the Clan's territory, let alone jumping or pouncing. This made descending the rocky cliffs difficult.

Yet, slowly, Frog figured out his own techniques, taking the techniques explained by Poolheart and putting his own twists on them. Instead of leaping from ledge to ledge, he slithered off their edges, dropping onto the ones below. His increasingly better aim made up for his clumsy landings, even earning him a scrawny mouse when out on hunting patrol.

Despite his clear disadvantage, the other apprentices remained merciless during battle training. Only Eggpaw gave him some slack, but Frog still lost to him every time. As a result, Frog found himself in the medicine den most nights, either for herbs to ease the stinging of a cut earned during training or for words of comfort from Rainberry. He felt frustrated, losing to cats almost a season-cycle younger than he, but the medicine cat assured him of his progress.

Frog doubted this. The only apprentice currently worse than him was the one who hadn't been showing up.

It was dark out when Frog overheard a hushed conversation not meant for his ears. Returning to the SeaClan camp after an especially trying battle session, his paws aching, he suddenly heard the sharp, raspy whiskers of two she-cats.

"Does she really think she can ignore her duties, living off of poppy seeds?" one said.

"It's only been nine moons," the other said softly and Frog identified the voice as his mentor's.

"It's absolutely ridiculous!" the other she-cat hissed.

"She blames herself for Splashpaw's death, you know that. She was only a kit when it happened, but the seal must have triggered her memories. You know how close the two of them were." There was a pause, during which the other cat's tail brushed over the ground in restless strokes.

"Just give her time to come to terms with it, she'll be back to training soon, Honeypool," Poolheart continued.

"She's not the only one who's lost someone," Honeypool suddenly snapped. "That's the life of a Clan cat. You hunt for it, you fight for it, you die for it if need be. My mentor was killed by MoorClan warriors and I didn't sit around moping!"

A deafening silence followed. Then, a quiet sob.

"Splashpaw was too young," came Poolheart's quiet whisper.

Honeypool sighed. "I'm sorry, I've been insensitive. Having one of your kits taken so suddenly... I can't imagine the pain you felt. You had every right to drop everything and mourn her loss."

"But I didn't."

"By that point, you already knew what it was to live the harsh life of a SeaClan cat," Honeypool said. "Swanpaw doesn't and, if this continues, she never will."

Frog thought of the small white she-cat he saw in the apprentice den every night, usually curled up in her nest. Sometimes, he would bring her freshkill, but she never ate it, staring at it with sad eyes instead. For a moon, Frog watched her do it, curiosity growing as he wondered why.

"She's been leeching off of Rainberry's stores for the past two moons." Honeypool's voice was heavy, resigned. "There's only one thing to do with a leech..."

Frog turned away before she finished, Sleetstar's words echoing in his head.