I attached the song Scott is listening to at the end. It's what I listened to to get myself into the right  frame of mind for this one.

_________________

Mitch wandered the streets of New York City alone. He needed some air, some space, some… something. His mind was a muddled mess full of absolutely everything and nothing. It had been 2 days and they still hadn’t gotten an answer from Avi and Kevin. He was beginning to lose the hope he’d felt that night, but really what’s 2 days in the scheme of things. It wasn’t a small decision, it was a huge one, and he knew they needed time. He was just so anxious. He just kept worrying that he hadn’t fought hard enough, hadn’t said the right things, hadn’t defended Scott the way he needed to.

Scott.

He sighed as he reflected on the past couple of days. Scott had been so incredibly amazing and so sweet. He’d paid for every meal, took him all around New York, cuddled on the couch with him as they watched TV. He’d held him when the weight of their situation had been too much, massaged his scalp when he’d gotten a headache. He’d joined him in the hot tub as they drank wine and looked out at the bright New York City skyline, Scott singing to him softly as they relaxed. He’d even draped his jacket over his shoulders when he’d been chilly as they walked through central park the night before. He knew in his mind that it was still residual guilt that he was trying to make up for, but his heart was already starting to attach again. Scott was doing the things he’d always imagined the perfect boyfriend would, he was ACTING like his boyfriend. He was treating him like he was special and wanted and loved.

He couldn’t do it, he couldn’t LET himself fall for him again, not when he knew Scott would never return that love, not in the same way. He was completely unable to imagine any way to stop it.

Should he set boundaries? That would be new, and he knew even the mention of it would hurt Scott, even if they were boundaries most friends had anyway.

But what about him? What about hurting himself?

Every time Scott gave him that smile that lit his eyes and bared his teeth, every time he took his hand or draped his arm over his shoulders when they were walking down the sidewalk, every time he pulled him into his arms it broke him down just a bit more.

He finally felt happy again, complete, and yet more conflicted and fractured than ever before.

He wanted to worry about himself, worry about his own heart and his own fragile sanity, but his thoughts always seemed to stray to his best friend.

If Avi and Kevin decided not to return to Pentatonix, it would rip that boy to shreds. Scott would completely fall apart. He wasn’t sure he could hold him together this time. Sure they could try and replace them, but really there was no one like those two. It had been a complete miracle that Scott had found them in the first place. There was no way they’d get the talent and the chemistry that the 5 of them had with anyone else. It just wasn’t possible. It was Avi and Kevin or nothing.

He worried that he’d lose Scott again if that happened. He’d shrink again, sign another contract he didn’t really want any part of and Mitch would be left behind once again.

He sighed as he walked into a random music store, hoping to avert his thoughts again. It was a lot to process and he had no clue where to even begin.

___

Scott was busy making plans. He had already talked to his manager, pitched the PTX idea and discussed how to pitch the idea back to Capitol and then if needed, RCA once again. They hadn’t heard from Avi and Kevin yet, but he was trying his best not to think about that. He had to keep hoping or he’d completely fall to pieces again, he was already so close as it was.

These past couple of days had been so stressful, yet so amazing at the same time. He tried to treat Mitch the way he deserved to be, to spoil him. His friend had continued to be wary for a bit, but now he took it in stride and was just letting himself enjoy the champagne life.

It was tough being this close to Heaven and not being able to really touch it, but he would suffer the heartache just to see Mitch smile.

They were so close to complete happiness, but it was a happiness that he knew he would never get the chance to actually capture, not anymore.

When Mitch had broken down that night, sobbing into his chest, it had hurt him more than any of the words the others had said; more than the blows Esther had landed on his cheeks, more than the glass in his knees, more than everything.

This was his fault. Mitch’s tears were his fault, the darkness under his eyes and the heaviness in his steps…  all his fault..

A decision had to be made. If Pentatonix was done then he’d let him go. Mitch deserved more, deserved so much better. He deserved someone who wasn’t selfish or oblivious. He deserved someone that wouldn’t continually hurt him the way Scott always found a way to do.

He would let him go so that he could find that happiness, his happy ending the way that he deserved to.

This was his last chance, his last hope of making things right again. If this didn’t work he didn’t know what would come after, but he would set Mitch free and would more than likely destroy himself in the process.

What is love if not sacrifice?

_________

“Christinaaaa, lookie what I found!” Mitch trilled out as he walked into the hotel room with a smile.

Scott walked out of his bedroom, his glasses sliding slightly down his nose. “It’s New York, I’m kind of frightened to find out.”

Mitch rolled his eyes and held up the vinyl copy of Scott’s new album he’d found during his time in the music shop.

“Ew!” Scott made a face. “Why would you buy that.”

“Nooo, It’s good!” Mitch laugh/whined.

“It’s really not. Plus that dude is really weird looking.”

Mitch pouted. “He isn’t weird looking. Sttttoooppp. I like it.” He looked at the cover. He already had multiple copies of the CD. He couldn’t stop himself as he continually bought it impulsively when he’d see it out and about over the last few months, but he hadn’t found it yet on vinyl until today.

“You would.” Scott smirked.

Mitch grinned back as he set his bags on the couch. “So what did you get up to while I was gone.”

Scott’s smile faltered, but only momentarily. “Made some calls, tried to write something but got a world of nowhere.”

“It’ll come to you.”

“Oh yeah, I’m sure.” Scott shook his head. “Did you eat while you were out wandering? I am starving.”

“That is literally going to be the title of your bio one day.”

Scott laughed and headed to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. “More like my epitaph.”

Mitch shifted as he tried to figure out how to broach this without hurting Scott’s feelings. “Umm, speaking of food, Kirstie called me while I was out… and...”

Scott could hear it in his voice, even without seeing the uncomfortable stance he’d taken or the way his forehead was now wrinkling in thought.

“It’s ok. Whatever it is, it’s fine.” He turned to look at him, knowing Mitch so, so well.

“I tried to … “ He chewed on his lip, not knowing if it would make it better or worse to tell Scott that he’d tried to get Kirstie to let Scott come, but no one was quite ready for it and they all just really needed to talk without the subject of debate being there.

“Mitch, it’s ok.”

“I know it’s our last night here, and I was kinda out all day by myself, but I won’t stay out too late. We can still do something after?”

“It’s alright. You don’t need my permission to spend time with your friends.”

Mitch sighed. “Ugh, they’re your friends too. This is so stupid!” He flung up his hands exasperated and let himself fall back onto the couch.

Scott felt that pressure in his chest again, felt the tears that wanted out, but he refused to let them. He wouldn’t make Mitch feel guilty for having dinner with the others.

“I understand it. It is what it is.”

Mitch sat up glaring at Scott. “How are you so understanding about all of this?”

“Because I have to be.”

Mitch stood then and flung his arms around Scott, squeezing him as he lay his head on his chest. “I’ll talk to them. I’ll try to help.”

Scott enveloped him, kissing the top of his head. “I appreciate the thought, Ariel, I really do, but don’t.”

Mitch looked up at him, eyes a mixture of sad and confused.

“Be happy. Don’t put a damper on your last night in New York by bringing up the black sheep. Just forget about it for one night. Forget about me, forget I even exist and remember what it’s like to have fun and hang out with your friends without that cloud hanging over you.”

For some reason those words felt like a knife to the heart. Something felt wrong. Something felt off in the words, in the delivery, in the body language. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but he knew something was up with Scott and it was more than the fate of Pentatonix that was adding weight to his friends heart.

“Scott…”

Scott knew Mitch was on to him, knew he could see right through the screen he’d tried desperately to put up to protect him. Mitch had always known him so well, sometimes better than he’d known himself.

“It’s nothing.”

“No. No, it’s not.” He took a step back trying to figure it out, looking for the truth on that face, in those eyes, but it was hidden.

“I’m just worried about Avi and Kevin.”  That wasn’t really a lie. He was completely worried about Avi and Kevin.

He turned away from prying brown eyes and searched for the room service menu, mostly to give him something to do.

He felt his pulse stutter as a hand touched his back, lingering for a moment. “I’m always here, Scott. You can always tell me. No matter what it is."

How was he supposed to ignore that. He knew the words were true. He turned to look in his eyes again, his own desolate and exhausted under his facade.

“I know, and I’ll tell you, I promise. Just... not yet.” He couldn’t hide it from him anymore, he had to figure out what he was going to do about it. Maybe the time alone would be good for him to sort through his thoughts and come up with a course of action.

Mitch chewed on the inside of his cheek, trying not to think about how hollow Scott seemed to currently be. He wanted to stay there in the hotel with him, wanted to hear him pour out his heart, to make him somehow smile again, but he knew he needed to go. He needed to go to try and convince the others that this was right and Scott was still their friend. He had to go for Scott.

He grabbed his hand giving it a reassuring squeeze. “I won’t stay out too late.”

Scott gave him the tiniest inkling of a smile and a nod. “Just have fun, Mary Margaret.”

He nodded and turned, grabbing his bags and disappearing into his room to start getting ready, his mind still, as always, on his best friend.

_______________________________

Scott sat at the little desk, words pouring out onto paper.

This was the hardest thing he’d ever done. The ink blurred every few words as his tears fell much faster than he could wipe them away. There was no one there to see his descent into nothing, to watch him rip his heart from his chest and place it there on the paper, sealed in ink. This was everything he needed to say, words that would never come out, words that would ruin him forever.

This was it. The end.

_________________________________

Mitch was laughing and drinking with his friends. They were having an absolute blast.

He looked at the time and realized they had been there for hours. He felt the sudden pull of Scott again, wanting to get back to his friend who was sitting in their hotel room…  alone.

“Hey, why the long face, love?” Kirstie looked at him, eyes still bright from Avi’s joke.

He tried to remember Scott’s words. He tried to let himself forget and just be and let everyone have fun, but his heart wasn’t in it. It was somewhere else.

“I should be getting back.”

“Whaaaaattt?”  “No! Please?"  “One more drink?"  “Miiiitttchie!”

His friends all protested, and a large part of him wanted to just sit down and pour another glass and let himself go, but honestly he couldn’t bring himself to.

“He’s there by himself. It’s not fair.”

“He’s a grown man.” Esther pointed out.

“I don’t want to argue. I’ll just go.”

“Wait, Mitch, please?” Kirstie put a hand on his arm.

“I guess it’s time for serious talk, huh.” Avi took another sip of his beer.

“I don’t want to ruin the night.”

“Sit. We need to talk.” Avi was apparently taking lead on this conversation.

Mitch sat back down and nodded. “Alright.”

“Me and Kev have thought about it, and we still aren’t sure. I mean, this is great with you guys, I honestly missed this, but with Scott… “ He stopped as he searched for the right way to word what he was feeling.

“It’s weird, and awkward now.” Kevin finished for him.

“Well, yeah. It takes time to get over that kind of shi†.” Mitch watched him warily.

“Have you thought about trying PTX without him?” Kevin said quietly.

Mitch looked almost offended. “You mean without him or me, because if he’s out, I’m out.”

“Just hear them out.” Kirstie tried to get him to calm down and put a hand out to his arm again but he flung it off.

“No! This was his idea in the first damη place! None of this would exist, we wouldn’t know Avi, or Kevin, or Esther if it wasn’t for him. We would be NOWHERE without him. He put us together. He got us on the Sing-Off. So now you want to just … no. No.”

“It was just a suggestion.” Avi tried to reason.

“Why is it so hard to give him a chance?” Mitch looked around the table at his friends, still unable to believe that they had even thought about it. 

"Do you know how hard it was for him to stand in front of all of you? He put himself on his knees in front of you, begged, groveled, apologized, hell he offered to let you beat the shi† out of him. What is enough? What is good enough for you all to give him another chance." No one said anything, they all looked a bit guilty themselves.

He stood up throwing down more than enough money for his food and drinks. He looked around one last time shaking his head.

"Mitch, please."  This time it was Esther who spoke, but he was already too upset to deal with them anymore.

"This is going to destroy him."   

He turned and walked out the door, fighting back tears.

__________________

He started to call out as he entered the hotel room, but stopped himself as he spotted him. Scott was sitting propped up in the corner of the couch, glasses askew, head lolled over to his shoulder. He looked completely uncomfortable, but Mitch couldn’t bring himself to wake him just yet. How was he going to tell him about dinner? How was he going to tell him the truth, knowing he would most likely lose him all over again.

How was he going to deliver the final blow that would break him into pieces.

He just stood there, watching him for the longest time before finally reaching out and taking his hand. “Scott? Scottie?”

He watched his brow furrow, his eyes moving behind his eyelids as he started to come out of whatever dream place he’d been in. “mmm… mitchie?”

He couldn’t help but grin at the sleepy boy. “Yeah. C’mon sleepyhead, let’s get you into bed.”

“mmhmm” he nodded a bit but finally opened his eyes.

Mitch’s breath caught in his throat. Scott’s eyes were puffy and bloodshot. “Heyyyy, what happened?” He whispered out, completely concerned now as he reached out to straighten his friend’s glasses.

“Cryin’ again. Been doing lots of that lately.” He mumbled, eyelids heavy and already wanting to shut again. Mitch tugged on  his hand and the blonde let out a grunt of protest but lifted himself from the couch, yawning all the way.

“C’mon.” He led the other man to his own bedroom, without even thinking. Scott crawled into his bed, curling up into a tiny ball, staring out the glass doors at the lights from the city.

Mitch changed in the bathroom and brushed his teeth before coming back and closing all of the curtains before climbing into bed next to him. He stared up at the ceiling.

“You seem sad.” Scott whispered.

“Just disappointed, I guess.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“It’s always my fault.”

Mitch looked at his friend’s back before grabbing his shoulder and pulling enough to get Scott to turn over and face him. The tears were there once again and this time Scott ended up in his arms, on his chest, slowly unraveling at the seams. He told him everything that had happened at dinner and the blonde had just quietly accepted it with a nod, clinging to Mitch with everything he had in him.

They lay silent for almost an hour before Mitch knew that Scott wasn’t getting any closer to sleep as the tears still continued to soak his shirt. He began to sing softly, rubbing his back, holding him close until he finally felt his breath even out, muscles relaxing in sleep.

He finally allowed himself to cry.

_______________________________

The next morning was gloomy, and not just due to the gray clouds overhead. A heaviness loomed over the two of them. Scott was extra clingy, watching him constantly, but it didn’t really bother him.

He’d never really seen Scott fall apart like this. He was always so careful to keep up his act, to be what everyone wanted him to be, but that had been what got them into this mess in the first place. If he hadn’t been so busy trying to be what Alex wanted him to be, if he hadn’t been so confused and conflicted with the choice of being the leader of Pentatonix or Alex’s boyfriend that he’d had a complete meltdown, then maybe things would have been different.

Now the act was gone. Scott was spiraling and he could not be more worried about him.

They packed and showered while they waited for their breakfast from room service.  When he came back out to the living room Scott was staring out of the glass, eyes not focused on anything. Mitch knew he was further away than he’d ever been. It terrified him.

When he finally noticed Mitch’s presence he turned his gaze to his friend and a small smile slid up his face.  Mitch didn’t fail to notice the sparkle of tears building, but Scott blinked them away quickly.

The conversation felt weighted, even when Mitch tried to alleviate the heaviness. Scott was just so … despondent.

“It’s not over yet, y'know. They could still change their minds. It wasn’t final.”

“I know.”

Scott tried to put on a happy face for him and Mitch let him as they checked out of the hotel and finally boarded their plane back home.

Scott had kept hold of his hand almost the entire morning and now sitting next to each other on the plane, he felt odd as his hand was empty. Scott was staring out the window, headphones over his ears.

He put his own headphones on and slid his hand over Scott’s, their fingers intertwining instinctively.

Scott turned to give him a sad smile and squeezed his hand in a silent thank you.

Mitch tried to hang on to him, but knew he was getting further and further away.

_________________

“Ugh! I’m soooo glad to be home!” He texted David to let him know he was home and to just let him know when he could pick up Wyatt.

Scott left his bags by the door but he disappeared into the room he’d been occupying before their New York trip.

“We should do Chipotle tonight! Mommy has a craaaavvving!” Mitch called out as he pulled his suitcase into his bedroom and let it fall to the floor. He was startled by a knock at the door.

He hurried out, having a good guess at who was behind it, and sure enough the Scotsman stood there holding a very sleepy looking Wyatt.

“My baby!” He grinned and took the disgruntled feline from his friend.

David laughed and walked in behind Mitch and closed the door. “How was New York.”

Mitch pondered his answer. “Good, amazing at times, but exhausting.”

David laughed as he watched Wyatt nuzzle up to the scruff on Mitch's chin.

“I hope Wyatt wasn’t too much of a hassle.”

“Please, I think I enjoy his company way more than he enjoys mine.”

“Oh shush, he loves you.”

David smiled and his eyes lingered on Mitch’s long enough that the brunette’s eyebrow raised in question.

“So, I have a class I have to get to, but I was wondering if maybe...  you’d like to ...  possibly have dinner tonight…  with me, I mean.”

Mitch tried to mentally dissect that statement/question. Was he asking him out on a date?

-

Scott had been listening as he made sure he wasn’t leaving anything behind in Mitch’s guest room. He had to squeeze his fists and clench his jaw to keep the tears from falling as David invited Mitch out on a date.

But this was what Mitch needed, what he deserved. 

He chose that moment to exit the bedroom. “Oh, David, hey.”

David’s face fell a bit as he noticed Scott. “Oh, I didn’t realize you were-”

“I was just leaving. I have to be getting back home.”

Mitch’s face fell completely as he watched Scott shove a few things in his suitcase and zip it back up. “Already?”

“Yeah. I have some things I need to take care of, but I’ll call you.”

He didn’t want to drag this out, make it harder than it needed to be, but he took in everything he could, eyes drinking in every inch of Mitch he could see.

“Ok.” There was so much more he wanted to say. He wanted to think of something to do to get Scott to stay, but David was still there between them.

“Goodbye, Mitch.”

“See ya later, Maggie.” The goodbye, the lack of nickname sat so wrong. He wanted to grab him, hug him, something… anything…  but he was out the door and gone before he could.

He took a deep breath and put on his smile again for David. “So, dinner?”

____________

Scott synched his iPhone w/ the car stereo and hoped that music would help soothe him, or at least distract him for the 35 minute drive home.

He was only 10 minutes away from his destination when “Last Goodbye” by Jonny Lang began to play. He had to pull over as the tears blurred his vision and the words left him sobbing into his steering wheel.  He was broken, this time beyond repair.