This is chapter is long and incongruous. I'm a bit distracted at the moment, and probably should really wait to fix all of this, but I'm not going to. I'm turning a bit lazy these last few days. Apologies. - I attached a pic of their hotel room just so it helps w/ visual.  

________

Kirstie was the first to arrive. She was still in her party dress but had a pair of flip flops on her feet. The first few minutes were uneasy as Scott kind of stood to the side and let Mitch and her talk as if he wasn't there. Eventually he stepped out onto the terrace to give them a few minutes, and also to get some fresh air.   

Mitch, as promised, had a bottle of champagne and those chocolate covered strawberries she liked at the ready and she wasted no time pouring them both a glass and biting into one of the decadent fruits. "Well, I've got to hand it to him, this hotel room is pretty sweet."

Mitch smiled but kept his eyes outside on his best friend, watching through the glass walls as he leaned onto the railing and stared out at the skyline.

"You think this is nice, you should have seen the restaurant we had dinner at. He made reservations and everything. He says it's all for my birthday that he missed, but I think it's still guilt."

"He should feel guilty."

"He does. He's an absolute mess."

"Not to sound redundant, but he should be."

Finally Mitch turned his eyes to look at her as he took a sip of his champagne.

"So how long do you think is long enough for him to suffer? When will it be enough?”

She got quiet and looked out at the back of the man who she'd been through so much with.

"How long did he make you suffer."

Mitch sighed. "Look, forget that. I have. It's over, I forgave him. Everyone seems so worried about me, but I’m fine. It sucked and I hate that it happened, but it did. He came to me first, he apologized over and over. We’ve been talking for a few months now. He regrets it all, so so much. I forgave him, why can’t you?”

She turned to look at him. "That's part of what I don't understand. How. How do you always forgive him, always let him just do whatever and you always just smile and say it's ok and move on. You let him just treat you however he wants at any given time and it's always somehow ok."

"You act like he abuses me or something."

"Maybe not abuse, but definitely use. He uses you when he needs you, and you always excuse it."

"He's my best friend, Kirstie."

"But why!!! He doesn't deserve it!?"

"You know he's your friend too!"

"I don't know anymore. If he was really our friend he wouldn't have done what he did!"

"He wasn't the one who hit me!"

"He might as well have!"

"Kirstie-"

"YOU only forgave him because you-" she cut off.

"Because I what? Because I was in love with him?"

"Was?"

Mitch leaned forward, both palms on the table, staring at the surface.

"was."

"You honestly think that's true?"

"Yes. I guess it took watching him completely walk away for my heart to realize that he wasn't who I kept wanting him to be. I was romanticizing him, picturing him as larger than life. You spend so much time wanting something, dreaming about it and when the reality finally sinks in …  the fantasies, the dreams just stop. You see it all the way it really is, not how you wanted it to be. So yeah, was."

She didn't know what to say to that, but for some reason the room felt a lot heavier, a lot more gloomy.

"But he's still my best friend. He's still OUR friend. You've screwed up lots of times if I remember correctly. He always forgave you."

"I didn’t abandoned him."

"No, but you totalled his car once. That's a pretty big screw up."

"That was an accident!"

"He didn't even yell at you once. He just tried to make sure you were ok. What about the time you spread that rumour about him in high school, just to impress some popular girls. He was so upset, but he forgave you. Remember?"

"Well it's not like it didn't help keep him in the closet. Besides having people think he slept with me isn't the worst thing in the world."

"Kirstie."

"He just left us, Mitch. He shed a couple of tears, but he defended Alex! He watched him hit you and he just let him!! He did nothing about it except DEFEND him!" Tears filled her eyes at this point.

"He was-"

"Stop it! Stop trying to make it out to be nothing!"

"I'm not, he screwed up!"  I swear they're so much alike. They're on two sides of this argument and saying the same damη thing.

"Screwed up?! You screw up when you forget a couple of lyrics, he kicked you out of your home! He threw over 11 years down the drain and tried to justify it. He stood in front of all of us and tore you down just to make Alex not look like a bad guy."

“I’m not saying what he did wasn’t wrong!”

“If he did that to you, to YOU of all people, then what if it had been me? He probably would have let Alex KILL me if he let him lay a finger on you. There’s no way he could care about me if he didn’t really care about you.”

“Kirstie! You know he’d never let anyone hurt you!  He’d kill anyone who tried!”

"Mitch." This time it wasn't Kirstie who spoke. Both of them turned to Scott who had returned from outside.

"Can you give us a minute."

Mitch stared at him, knowing his train of thought.

"No. I stand by what I said. I'm not letting you do this alone."

"Please. I just need a few minutes."

Mitch watched him, missing the vibrant blue that had been there earlier when they’d lain on the couch sipping wine and reminiscing to keep themselves distracted. Now all he saw in them was dark storm clouds. He didn’t want to leave him in there where he knew things were going to get angry and loud again, but he would give them a few minutes. He didn’t have to be happy about it though. He huffed dramatically before walking out onto the terrace and shutting the door behind him.

___

“I hate you.”

He nodded. “I know.”

“He has always been so important to you. You always loved him most.” Tears were falling freely now as she let the words spill out of her. It was seeing his face, remembering all of the moments they’d spent laughing, crying, talking. She missed him, even when her brain kept screaming that she never wanted to see him again. “I mean, at least you seemed like you did. How could you do it? I need you to help me understand, because I just can’t.” 

Scott’s eyes looked so haunted, so sad and yet she could see the guilt pushing indentations into his forehead.

“It was what Alex said. The moment he told me that Mitch was in love with me, for some reason my brain decided to shut down. I freaked out and spiraled out of control. I didn’t know how to process it. It was like running on autopilot after that. I barely remember the damη concert. I couldn’t tell you all of the things I said when we were all fighting. I don’t think I actually thought through any words that came out before they did.”

“Scott you didn’t shut down. You looked Avi dead in the eye when you tried to make it seem like Mitch’s fault that Alex had hit him.”

“Remember that time your mom caught me with a pack of cigarettes? They weren’t even mine, they were yours. Your mom yelled at me sooo bad, and I made up so many excuses for why I had them, but I don’t remember any of it. It’s my panic mode, I just spew out bullshi† to keep from thinking.”

“That doesn’t make it right.”

“No. No it doesn’t. I know I don’t deserve to have him in my life anymore, but he’s my best friend. I can’t live without him. He’s too important to me. All of you are. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t regret all of it. There's not a SECOND that I don’t wish I could go back in time. You don’t think that every day I didn’t see him was absolute hell? You think looking at his empty bedroom was easy? I HATED Alex for what he did, but by the time I could think clearly I’d already pushed you all away, lost PTX, lost my friends, my best friend all in one night. So I signed the damη contract and I HATE it. I was so scared of those damη words that I fell apart. I hate Alex for ruining everything. I hate myself even more for letting him. I just want to fix it. I want-”

He sighed as a knock on the door interrupted him.  

Kirstie closed her eyes, her heart feeling heavier, yet somehow lighter at the same time. She wiped at her eyes, but turned towards the door. “I’ll get it.”

Scott nodded as he went into the bathroom grabbing the box of tissues and returning to the dining room area with them as he wiped at his eyes.

He tried not to look at them as they all filed in. They must have stopped by their hotel room to change because they were all in sweats and tees.

They all shifted around a bit as they stood there awkwardly.

“Where’s Mitch?” Esther inquired.

“Out on the terrace. I didn’t want him in the middle of this. I know he’ll try to defend me, and I don’t want him getting caught up in it. He’s already hurt enough.”

“And whose fault is that?” Avi looked at him.

“Before we start ripping our hearts to pieces, there’s champagne?” Kirstie held up the bottle.

“There’s also beer in the fridge and wine.”

Scott kept himself to the side as they conversed amongst themselves as Avi and Esther each came away with a bottle of beer and he poured himself another glass of wine.

They stood uncomfortably around the dining room table, staring at each other, no one knowing where to begin.

“You left us.” Kevin stared at him, his usually happy presence completely gone as he frowned, his expression dour.

“I didn’t mean to.”

“Did you not mean to let your boyfriend pound on Mitch’s face too? Or was that one on purpose.” Esther glared.

“Wait, what was it you told me? Oh, right. ‘It was a just misunderstanding. Alex wasn’t thinking. Mitch just started instigating and Alex overreacted.’” Avi wasn’t even trying to hide the hurt or anger in his voice.

“Alex actually started it. He was the one instigating.”

“So why didn’t you say that?” Avi flung back.

This went on for quite a few minutes, the questions/statements became increasingly sharper, like daggers as they were meant to hurt Scott.

“Look, I never wanted this to happen. Capitol pitched the damη deal to me and three times I told them no before that last deal. They kept offering me more money and I was STILL ready to tell them no again, but you all just were so mad you basically threw me out of Pentatonix. What was I supposed to do?”

“THREW you out? You can't be serious!” Kevin's eyes were narrowed as he stared at Scott in disbelief.

“You LEFT!” Kirstie glared again.

“No. He’s right.” Mitch appeared in the doorway, tired of waiting. He’d been watching from outside, trying to give Scott a bit of time to stand up on his own, but he could see the looks on his friends faces. This wasn’t going well at all.

“What do you mean he’s right? I clearly remember him leaving us behind and jumping labels.” Avi couldn’t believe Mitch’s words. Was he seriously trying to say Scott hadn’t just up and left them all sitting there with their heads in their hands?

“He wasn’t going to take the contract, but we all started yelling and when Alex mentioned the deal everyone just assumed he’d already taken it, but he hadn’t. Everyone was so worried about me that no one fought for us. Including me.”

Mitch moved to stand next to Scott.

Things got quiet as everyone was trying to remember that night, trying to remember all of the words spoken.

“I never wanted to leave Pentatonix. It was my life. It still is! I would have never left if I’d had the choice. I want it back. I want US back. We can do this again, we still have fans, I have new fans, Kirstie too.”

“You want us to trust you again?! After what you did to Mitch?”

“Seriously, Avi it’s over. It was all Alex. Alex hit me, Alex started the entire fight in the first place. Alex lied about the record deal and Alex took him away from us. But he’s back, Alex free this time.”

“It doesn’t excuse it! It doesn’t change what he did, or should I say DIDN’T do.” Esther glared at Scott.

Mitch started to speak again, but Scott beat him to it. He took a step forward and dropped to his knees. “Would it make you feel better to hit me? Then do it. Please. I know I deserve it. I won’t fight back. I just want to move forward and I don’t know how many times I have to say I’m sorry, but I’ll keep saying it, as many times as I have to. I want my family back. Just hit me as many times as you want.” Tears were cascading down his face.

“No, get up.” Mitch grabbed his arm trying to get him to stand, but Esther immediately moved in front of him. She glared down at his face and he looked up at her, ready to accept whatever she could dish out.

She slapped him and he winced at the sheer sting of it. “That’s for Mitch.” And one more to the other cheek “and that’s for me.” She was crying, her hands clenching and unclenching, her weight rocking from foot to foot. “You didn’t have to watch him cry. You didn’t have to see him fall apart because of what you did. You didn’t have to lay in bed at night listening to the nightmares he had every night!”

Mitch stepped between them now. “Esther, please” He put his hands on her shoulders but she used both arms to remove them.

“No! Stop saying it’s ok Mitch, because it wasn’t ok!”

“No, it wasn’t. It wasn’t OK but it’s done. Hitting him isn’t fixing anything, it’s only hurting me more.”

She stared at him for a second before hugging him tight and crying into his chest. He held her for a moment before he led her over to the large couch so that they could sit. 

“Do you see that?” Kirstie looked at Scott. “That’s what friends do. They stand between you and the threat and they defend you.”

Scott sat back on his heels, his head hung, both cheeks on fire, palms flat on the floor. He let his sobs go, unable to stop them anymore. His nails dug into the wood flooring and his shoulders shook as he just knew it was all over and he was never getting his friends back. He had never regretted anything more in his life. He would never be able to change it, never be able to make up for it and never be able to forgive himself for it. The tears fell to the floor in scattered drops beneath him.

Everything had been so quiet, just the sound of the horrible noises coming from his chest and throat and the whispers of Mitch and Esther on the other side of the divider. He tensed as he suddenly felt two arms wrap around him. They were too small to belong to Mitch. He looked over to see Kirstie’s tear covered face and they adjusted, arms around each other, crying together on their knees, letting out a million emotions that had been begging to be released for far too long as they clung to the other.

Kevin stepped forward to put hand on Scott’s shoulder and swollen blue eyes looked up at him. “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

He squeezed Scott’s shoulder and Scott covered his hand with his own and sniffled.

Mitch appeared again and stood watching Avi who looked as if he was deep in thought.  He was the only one who was keeping his distance, the one who was still wary, still angry.

“Avi? Please don’t stay mad. I want us to be a family again. I'll never forget how you all stood by me. I can never repay you for that, but it's time to look past it and move forward. That’s what families do, right?"

Avi looked at Mitch, his brain going around in circles. There was at least 2 minutes worth of silence. “You really want PTX back?” He turned his eyes to Scott.

“More than anything.”

“I’m in.” Kirstie declared as she got to her feet. "I don't know if we can make it work, but I miss you guys more than I ever imagined I could miss anything. I owe it to myself to try again."

“You all know where I stand.” Mitch stated..

Kevin didn’t look like he was quite sure what to say. “I need to think about it. I don’t know if we should. I mean Scott, you have a pretty sweet deal right now. Why would you want to mess that up?”

“I don’t want it! I don’t want the new contract they want me to sign, I don’t want go out on tour without you guys again. I don’t want to do any of it without you guys.”

Avi moved to stand directly in front of Scott. No one knew what he was going to do as the blonde still sat on his knees in front of him. When he moved his arm there was a collective flinch from both Kirstie and Mitch as they expected the worst, but Scott didn’t move, just sat ready and accepting.

After a moment he  took the extended hand Avi offered him and got to his feet.

“I’m with Kevin. I need to think about it.”

“I don’t know if this is the worst idea ever or the best.” Esther rejoined, still not sure if she was ready to forgive Scott or not. She kept watching him, part of her wanting to run into his arms, the other wanting to hit him again.

"Thank you, all of you, for coming, for listening. I know I didn't make it easy." His voice was still shaky with his tears, and he sniffled a bit.

They all nodded.  "We'll think it over and let you know soon." Kevin decided.

They all stayed for a little while longer, conversation still a bit stilted and awkward, the box of tissues making it’s rounds, but things were starting to ease up, if only slightly. It was a start.

-

Mitch felt more exhausted than he had since the last PTX European tour as he closed the door behind his friends, but there was also a buzzing in his veins. There was a new hope inside of him. Things might just work out this time.  

He was abruptly yanked from his thoughts at the sound of glass shattering.

He turned to see Scott standing by the sink, the floor next to him littered with the remains of one of the hotel's wine glasses.

The poor man looked a mixture of confused and embarrassed and just a bit unhinged. His eyes were wide, bloodshot and red from all of the crying.

Mitch wanted to hurry over, but he was barefoot. He had just opened his mouth to tell Scott not to move until he got his shoes, but Scott’s eyes glazed over and Mitch could do nothing but watch, mortified as Scott's legs buckled and he fell forward, his knees dropping right into the debris field. He didn't let out a single sound as he just looked at the ground.

"Scott!"

He hurried over, glass be damηed. He was careful, but not overly.  "Talk to me. What happened?" Scott remained silent. "C'mon, we need to get you cleaned up.”

But Scott didn’t move. He seemed so far away. Mitch looked around searching for something to help remove the shards and chips around him, but he wasn’t at home and all of the cleaning items here were tucked away in the maid’s closet somewhere. He finally just emptied the ice bucket and started picking up the bigger pieces and dropping them inside, thankful that the glass must have been empty when it was dropped. 

Scott didn’t move the entire time Mitch was trying to clear a path. Finally, after a few swipes with a towel, he thought it cleared enough to try and move Scott again. He knelt down in front of him, closer this time, and tried to meet his eyes. Finally they locked on his own. “Come with me.” He reached out and took Scott’s hands in his own, standing and feeling his body relax a bit in relief as Scott rose to his feet in front of him. He led him to his bedroom.

“Do you feel any glass in your knees?”

Scott kind of shrugged. Mitch knew this was going to be another case of him taking care of Scott when he just couldn’t seem to do it himself. He probably should complain about it, but for some reason it made a warmth spread through his chest.

“Alright, pants off.”

This is starting to become a recurring theme.

Scott just blinked at him again.

“Louise, I know you had a lot to drink, but you can’t be that drunk.”

He stepped forward pushing up at the hem of Scott's shirt and grabbing the waistband of his sweats and inched them down, just enough to assure he was wearing his boxer-briefs beneath them, and then pulled them down to fall to his ankles. Scott held onto his shoulders as he stepped out of them. There were a couple of cuts that were immediately visible against the pale legs before him, one of which was starting to drip blood down the front of his leg.

“Sit. Don’t get blood on anything. I’ll be right back.”

He moved quickly, grabbing Scott’s extra pair of comfy shorts, a cloth and finally locating some tweezers, neosporin and a bandaid in the far recesses of his grooming bag.

“The depths of your clumsiness never ceases to amaze me.” He tried to lighten the mood a bit as he got to his knees in front of the blonde who now sat on the edge of the round bed. He fought to keep his eyes on the legs before him and not let them travel upwards. It was a really tough fight, but he managed. He carefully removed the couple of remaining shards  and cleaned the wounds. He looked up as he heard the soft sound of Scott’s laughter.

“I sincerely hope you’re laughing at yourself.”

“Do you remember Deanne’s dream where you put your head through a mirror?”

Mitch gave him a nod as he put the only bandaid he had over the worst cut. He couldn’t stop his smile as he remembered. Deanne had fallen asleep on the back couch of the tour bus, a book on her chest. She’d started mumbling and of course he and Scott had been super nosy and tried to understand what she was saying, but neither could get more than bits and pieces. They’d just grilled her about it when she woke up.  

Scott’s laughs turned into gaspy giggles. “I wonder what you were doing  to put the back of your head through a mirror. How do you even go about doing that?!”

“It was a dream, Elizabeth.”

“She wouldn’t tell us why you did it. I bet she was dreaming about someone fu¢king you against it. That’s kind of funny.”

Mitch’s eyes scrunched shut as he laughed and shook his head. “Stop projecting your nasty, pervy thoughts on Deanne.”

“I doubt she needs my pervy thoughts, I bet she has enough of her own. Besides, what other reason could you put your head through a mirror for?" 

Mitch's eyes darkened as he raised them to pale blue, his eyebrow lifting. "What other reason could you get glass in your KNEES for?" 

Scott swallowed, almost choking mid giggle and he let out a tiny cough. 

The brunette rolled his eyes and gave a playful pop to the calf in front of him. “Good as new, Perv. Now put these on. Mama is tired and ready to crash.” He tossed the shorts at Scott’s face as he stood.

Scott’s momentary happiness had slipped again, and the sadness had returned to it’s previous residency. Mitch disappeared into the bathroom to get ready for bed and by the time he came out his room was empty. He looked out into the living room and out on the terrace, but both were vacant.

He closed all the curtains and made sure all of the lights were out before he turned to stare at the closed door to Scott’s room.

So much of him wanted to open that door and wrap his arms around the mess that lay behind it, knowing he would be so close to falling apart, but Scott would come to him when it became too much. That's just how it worked.

He reached out and touched the barrier between them. “Goodnight, Buffy.”

“Goodnight, Willow.”

He smiled a bit at the quiet response as he turned and walked back to his room.

_____________

It had been just over 30 minutes of staring at the ceiling, of silent tears and too many thoughts, when he realized he couldn’t do it anymore. He needed another glass of wine to help blur his thoughts and aid in his quest for sleep. He slid his glasses on and quietly made his way out of his room, but he had barely made it two steps when he heard it. It started with a tiny sniffle, a quiet whimper, but when he stepped closer to the door that was still open a crack, he could hear the sobs coming from the small body buried beneath the blankets. He didn’t hesitate as he opened the door and climbed beneath the covers, pulling him tight against him. He let the other wrap around him, let him claw at his shirt, let his tears soak his chest, body trembling in his arms.

“I’m so sorry.” He whispered into Mitch’s hair and held him close as they both cried together, both crying themselves into darkness.