I don't want to be mad at June, but I can't help but feel kind of betrayed. Not that much by her, but by Sebastian. But she knew about it. And she didn't say anything about it or them. I've had no idea. All this time ... I feel like a fool.

June didn't try to talk to me like I expected her, too. She gave me a remorseful look when she came to the class (after me) and kept walking by. That made me feel even worse. She was basically my only friend in the university and it just ... sucks.

I come home in a bad mood and Alexander notices it immediately. I don't even have to open my mouth and he already knows something is wrong. His eyes narrow and then his eyebrows lift up. "What's wrong?" he asks in a greeting.

He's holding a protein shake in his hand, an indication he most likely came from the gym or from running. I don't know how easy he's taking it at the gym, though, but he's assuring me his shoulder isn't bothering him anymore and that he's completely healed, like a new man. His words not mine.

My shoulders slump forward. I haven't told Alexander about June and Sebastian situation. I groan, letting my head fall forward, resting on his chest. "Gabby?"

"June and Sebastian are dating," I say.

I feel him twitch, but he doesn't say anything for a few moments. "And why would that exactly be a problem?" he asks with an edge in his tone that I don't quite understand.

My head moves backward a little so I can see his face. He's looking at me with a darkened gaze, his teeth clenched together. "Because he used me to get to know her. Are you okay?"

"Ah," he says, his shoulders dropping and he rubs his eyebrow. "I thought you were jealous."

"What?" I ask incredulously. Is he actually serious?

He shakes his head. "Never mind. That was kind of stupid of me. What do you mean he used you to get to her?" His voice has that sharp edge that means he knows that whatever I tell him, he's not going to like it.

"It's not that big of a deal, honestly ..." I trail off when Alexander cocks his head to the side in doubt. "Okay," I give in. "It bothers me because ... I don't even know why?"

"Okay. tell me what happened, then."

I tell him about it while preparing a hot chocolate for myself. I tell him what Sebastian told me, the exact same words.

Alexander snorts when I finish my explanation. "This guy's such a joke. He can't even walk to a girl himself and ask her out? Pussy."

I send a glare his way. "That's not the point of the story, Alex," I say grimly, pushing a spoon full of chocolate into my mouth and sighing in content.

"Right," he says. "So, what's up with June?"

I shrug. "I don't know because it seems like she's not talking to me?"

Alexander rubs his eyebrows. "Shit, I don't know what to tell you. You girls just like to overcomplicate shit and make drama where it's not necessary."

I pause with the spoon halfway away from my face. "So, you're trying to tell me I'm exaggerating."

Alexander's eyes widen a little at the accusation in my tone he can clearly hear. "Not you," he explains.

I stare at him. "You're not making any sense."

"What I tried to say is that June's in the wrong here because what reason does she have to not talk to you? That dude messed it up and dragged her into it, but from my point, I don't see her doing anything wrong."

"She could've at least said something. I feel like a fool right now because they were both hiding it from me."

"Did she even know you and that guy are friends?" Alexander's refusal of saying Sebastian's name just proves he's not his biggest fan. Even though I just told him he literally has nothing to worry about since he's dating my friend.

"I'm pretty sure she saw me talking to him. Or I at least must've mentioned him to her."

Alexander rubs his neck. "I don't know what to tell you. I had a bad feeling about that guy from the beginning so I'm not even surprised he turned out to be a sleazy bastard."

I scoff. "You have a bad feeling about every guy I'm talking to, so I can't always take you seriously."

He scowls. "Yeah, Gabby. For a fucking reason."

I roll my eyes. "Sure," I say, giving in and just letting him win this round.

"Ay, I forgot to tell you, but Sam confirmed she's pregnant. She visited the doctor and everything."

I drop the spoon into the cup and beam. "Really?" I ask with the biggest smile ever. This is great news. Well, maybe not for her since I remember how freaked out she was when she found out there's a possibility she might be pregnant, but still. I'm happy for her, even if she isn't. "Another baby in the family! Oh, God, I can't wait."

I put the cup down, putting my hands on my cheeks because I can't stop grinning while Alexander just stands there with a stoic face, watching me with an unchanged expression. "Dude!" I exclaim, playfully hitting his shoulder. "A freaking baby!"

Alexander works his jaw, but his expression otherwise doesn't change. My smile slowly starts disappearing. "What? Aren't you happy?"

He keeps working his jaw, hesitating with his answer. I tilt my head to the side, wondering what's up with him. "I'm not a fan of babies, you know that," he finally says with a careful, slow voice.

My good mood starts vanishing because I know we're going to have that conversation again and I'm not going to like it. "You were a fan of your sister when she was born, though. You still are."

"Talkin' in general, baby," Alexander says, still using that same patient voice.

My heart is in my throat. "You said you don't want kids already. Okay. I get it. But you can be happy for others, you know."

Alexander lets out a deep breath. "It's not that I don't want to, I just don't find it such a big deal. You know?"

No, I don't know. I shake my head. "No, I don't know. Because you don't generally not like kids. You have two little sisters and I know you love them, so you can't tell me you generally hate kids." I'm on a roll here, but we were bound to have this conversation again at some point. Well, truthfully, I didn't want to push him about this topic and I wanted to let it rest for a little bit and just not bother him, but, obviously, that won't happen now.

"I didn't say I hate them. I just don't find it exciting when someone announces they're having a baby. It's cool, yeah, for them maybe. I just don't really care much about it."

I just give him a dumbfounded look. "She's your cousin, Alex."

"Yeah, I know. That doesn't really change anything for me, though."

I pick the cup with chocolate back again, hugging it with both of my hands and just sit down, feeling drained all of a sudden. I feel Alexander's eyes on me, but I avoid looking at him because I just need a moment to myself.

"Aw, crap. Now look at you being all mad and shit," Alexander stresses, coming to stand in front of me. He's not mad or irritated, it's just an observation.

"I'm not mad, I just ... I don't really know how to feel. Did you talk to your therapist about it already?"

"Yeah," he says simply.

I lift my head. "And?"

He shrugs. "She said it might be because of my sister. Said I might just be afraid to look after someone, especially a kid and especially on my own. That's why she suggested we get a pet, although that didn't really help except that I have one more living thing in this place to drive me nuts."

"Do I drive you nuts?" I ask with the smallest of grin.

"Yeah," he breathes. "All the time."

I nod. "Good," I say proudly. But then my smile vanishes again. "I'm not going to push you about the kids, okay? It's your call, I guess, because I can't make you want them, so ... I trust you know best about what you want."

Alexander crouches down in front of me, putting his hands on my thighs. "We're still young and it's not like we're ready for a baby right now. I say we go with the flow and let it rest for a few years because the thought of having a child right now is not sitting well with me. Alright? Let's take it easy and just not rush anything. You're not ready for a baby right now, either."

"No, definitely not right now," I agree. "In a few years, though ..." I trail off, too scared to finish the thought.

"We'll see what happens," Alexander finishes for me, although that's not exactly what I had in mind. "Let's just enjoy other people going through that pain right now."

I rest my head against his, sighing. I'll take this for now, content that he didn't immediately just shoot the idea down. "Okay," I agree quietly.

He smiles, leaning forward and kissing the corner of my mouth. "You had some chocolate there," he explains with a sneaky smile.

I put my hands on his face and plant a full-on-mouth kiss on his lips. I don't have a reason for that. I just do it because I can.

˙˙˙

We decide to spend the whole weekend at his parents'. I have to say it's a little weird now that Lena's not here anymore because things are back to normal and I'm not filled with dread on the way there like every time before in the past.

Amelia is over the top at the news that we're going to spend two full days with her. She waits for us at the door when we arrive to greet us, all giggles and smiles, hugging the both of us as if she hasn't seen us in forever.

I'm carrying Lady MacBeth in her carrier. Alexander said we could take her with us when I told him that we shouldn't leave her at home alone for two days. Amelia loves her, but the cat doesn't feel the same about her. She mostly hides from her and I suspect it's because she's used to having peace and space and not a child screaming at her and poking her.

I go into the house first after saying hello to Amelia, setting the cat down. Alexander walks in afterwards, carrying Amelia by her leg, her being upside down. I raise an eyebrow at them, but she's giggling like crazy which makes me smile as well.

Rosanna isn't here today, I was informed, and that makes me a little sad.

Rosalyn appears from the living room, greeting us with his hands intertwined on her stomach. "You've arrived," she says with a big smile.

Ever since Alexander was shot, Rosalyn started being a little too careful with Alexander and she was just ... well, always there. This started bothering him a lot so now that he's healed and okay, he said he needed a few days away from his mother since she treated him like a baby and he's got sick of that.

She, of course, firstly offers us something to eat which we both decline because we ate at home.

"Come with me, I'll show you the new castle for my barbies!" Amelia says all excitedly, grabbing Alexander's hand, back on her feet now, although her hair is all tousled and messy.

"Wait a second before you occupy them, Amelia," Rosalyn says.

I let Lady MacBeth out to explore, although she's hesitant at first and only gets out when she spots Alex, running to him, but then immediately running away when Amelia squeals at her and hides somewhere. I sigh. Poor cat, she's going to experience a lot of trauma in these two days, it seems.

"Gabrielle, will you come with me for a moment?" Rosalyn asks me, putting her hand on my arm so I look at her.

"Sure," I say.

"Yeah, go on and talk about me as if I don't know," Alexander calls and I give him a wide eyed look over my shoulder because I definitely don't want to be seated in Rosalyn's office and questioned about him.

Rosalyn ignores his comment altogether and we go upstairs to her office. She pushes a few papers aside when she sits at the table, wearing a kind expression when she looks at me. "How is Alex doing?" She doesn't beat around the bush at all and I already knew this was coming.

"Great," I say with confidence. "He's all healed now so the shoulder isn't bothering him anymore."

Rosalyn nods. "And otherwise? How are you two?"

"We're good," I say because I don't know what else to say or what she expects me to say. It's not like I'm going to run to her and tell her all of our problems. I don't think Alexander would appreciate that. She knows what she has to know, I leave everything else to Alexander to tell if he wants to.

She smiles warmly. "You're so good for Alexander. I thank the heavens every day that you came here at the right time. You treat him so well and I hope he's doing the same to you."

"We broke up," I blurt out. I don't even know why. Maybe because of the whole treating him right comment.

Rosalyn chuckles. "I know that, dear, but you've obviously not stayed broken up."

I feel how my cheeks get a little warm. Of course she knows that fell out of place momentarily. "We're figuring it out still," I say, although I think we both have figured out the same thing; that we can't stay without each other.

Rosalyn shakes her head. "You know, Gabrielle, my husband was somewhat like Alexander is now. Maybe a little bit less wild, but he still went off the road a few times with me. And just let me tell you that these two men just need a soft woman who is strong enough to smack them across their heads when they deserve it. Figuratively speaking, of course." She chuckles to herself, probably having some private joke with herself.

I sit there, stunned at her words because I can not imagine Alfred being like Alexander and otherwise. He's so ... calm and proper all the time.

"You're good for him. He's changed a lot since you came here. And I know that I say this a lot, but it's true. Alexander was lost, just wandering around life, hanging out with people who weren't good for him because he didn't let himself even meet people who'd be good to him and for him. He was always on the run, but when you came here, he had nowhere else to run and he was just forced to really let you in and, well, look at how well it turned out."

I get a fuzzy, warm feeling inside of my chest. Who doesn't like to hear from their significant other's parents that they're good for them and they're happy they found each other?

I smile, looking down at the table. "I don't think I'm doing all that much, to be honest. I'm not scared to tell him if he's doing something that bothers me, sure, but other than that ... I basically let him do his own thing." I shrug.

Rosalyn chuckles. "You do you. He's going to want to change for you because you're different than what he's used to and he likes it too much to stay on the old path of self-destruction."

I hope she's right. For both of our sakes.

˙˙˙

In the evening, after Alexander went out for a run and back to his room, I stayed down a little to catch up with Rosanna since she wasn't here during the day. She prepared me cocoa and we just talked a bit. She told me Amelia accepted pretty easily that Lena was now gone, although she was a little confused as to why. She's a child. She liked her because she didn't know and no one can blame her for that. Lena was good to her, at least.

I asked Rosanna if they're planning to find a new nanny from abroad and she told me that they're probably just going to hire an older lady to prevent something like that from happening again.

That calmed me down a little and I felt relief. I didn't want to go through something like that ever again.

Afterwards, I went up to Alexander's old room, too, but I couldn't find him in there, although I knew immediately where he is when I saw the window being slightly opened.

I open the window and poke my head through it, noticing him immediately. "Ah. Here you are," I say.

He turns to look at me and I see he's smoking. I climb up the window, but get up too quickly, banging my head on the top. "Aw, crap," I mutter, groaning in pain.

Alexander chuckles.

I manage to get up on the roof, holding the top of my head. "For the old times' sake," Alexander says, patting the space next to him.

I sit down next to him, feeling overwhelmed with nostalgia every time I come up here. "When you didn't like me yet," I muse.

He gives me a look. "I have always liked you," he argues.

"But you didn't know how to show it," I shoot back.

He chuckles, wrapping his arm around me and pushing my head against his chest. "It's a good thing I know how to show it now, huh?" He kisses the top of my head where I banged it before and I smile, shifting so I can look up at him and I lift up a little to kiss his jaw.

"You believed you were a bad person back then. I don't know why you'd ever think that."

He gives me a small smile. "I'm nice to you only, Gabrielle. Others can all go fuck themselves still."

I laugh so hard my eyes close and I roll to the side a little. He's watching me with the softest grin on his lips and I calm down, looking up at him seriously. I put my hand against his jaw, my touch soft. "Never stop being good to me," I say quietly. It's a plea.

"Never," Alexander promises. He touches his lips to mine.

*

I'M SO SOFT FOR THESE TWO