"Things changed a little, I think. They shifted into a different direction. I can't really explain it, but I feel like it's better. We don't fight that much and it's overall just good."

"That's very nice to hear, Alexander. Have you two talked about your relationship and everything that happened?"

I pause to think about it. "No, not really. We just fell right back into it. A lot of things happened, so we didn't put any focus on that."

"Hmm," my therapist says. I hate her "hmms" because I never know what the fuck does she mean with them. Hmm good or hmm bad? Who the fuck knows.

"What does hmm mean?" She's driving me crazy with them.

"Just ... hmm."

Thanks a lot.

I frown. "Well, am I supposed to do now? We're good – great even. Do I even need therapy anymore?"

"How are things going with your cat?"

My eyebrows jump up at the sudden change of subject. "Good?" I sound unsure because it comes out like a question. Why the hell is she asking me about my cat?

"When Gabrielle was gone ... you were taking care of her, correct?"

That's putting it mildly. I basically lived with the cat in the full sense, even slept in the same bed and everything. If anyone saw me, they'd think I went full-on crazy. "Yeah."

"And would you say you took a good care of her?"

"It's a cat, doc. They only need food and water and they'll survive."

"Yes, but you have to give them food and water."

My frown deepens. "Are you asking me if I fed her? Because I did. No animal abuse happening here, trust me."

"No, that was not why I was asking, but that's good to know. Do you like the cat?"

Why the fuck are we still talking about the cat? "Yeah, she's okay."

"Hmm," she says.

I cross my arms over the chest, sitting back on the couch, glancing at the clock to see if Gabrielle is coming soon. She's not. I sigh.

"You got a cat and had to stay alone with her without previously owning any animals and you did a good job. Do you think you'd be able to take care of someone else? A dog, perhaps? They're a little more complicated than cats."

I groan. "I'm not a fan of dogs. They're too ... happy for my taste, need a lot of attention and they're a big mess."

"Hmm."

I'm going to fucking scream with her hmms. "Can we go back to the conversation about my relationship and how to save it or somethin'?"

My therapist sighs on the other side of the phone. "You're doing better now because you're surrounded by better people. You said you want to give up racing because of you, not just her, and that makes it for all the right reasons, too. But you also aren't surrounded with people who are a bad influence anymore, so you don't do bad things."

I've never really thought about it that way. "I thought I was a bad influence."

She chuckles. "Maybe," she agrees. "But maybe not. You come from a good family. Your behaviour is a learned behaviour and it's influenced. You're not a bad person, not like you think you are. But people in our lives influence us a lot, even though we can't always see it. In my opinion, dropping racing and not going to that place anymore is the first step at saving your relationship and I think you know that, too."

˙˙˙

Having an overprotective girlfriend and overprotective mother sounds cool until they're on your ass all the time. It's always something. "Don't lift that, maybe you should sit down, why aren't you resting?" Fucking hell, I literally don't do anything but rest and taking it easy and these two women in my life (and sometimes Rosanna joins them) want to put me in a baby crib and call it a day.

Don't take me wrong, I loved it at first, especially when Gabrielle was dancing around me twenty-four hours a day and gave me all her attention. I love getting babied by her. But now she's not at home to baby me anymore, she's babying me from her classes and it's starting to become annoying.

Especially when she's worrying too much about me and completely unnecessarily. She got scared. I get it. I got fucked up, too, when I knew that fucker had her upstairs and didn't know what he was doing with her or to her.

But she's okay. And I'm okay. Well, she's not truly okay. She has nightmares sometimes. They're more rare now, but they happen. She doesn't always remember them in the morning but she wakes me up during the night because it's hard not to wake up. I don't mention it to her, though, because I don't want to remind her. If she doesn't remember it, then what's the point in pushing her to talk about it?

I think about it a lot, though. I don't have anything else to do when I'm at home because I'm at home all the time. All day. All alone, all by myself. I'm literally going crazy. Especially when I'm not supposed to do anything but fucking rest. The doctor said to take it easy for two weeks after coming from the hospital. The wound wasn't so deep or serious and he said it would heal fast, but it's still on a part of my body I use a lot.

My girlfriend, though, thinks I'm crippled and won't be able to function normally for months. I don't know what's up with that. She was there when the doctor gave me instructions, but she obviously thinks she knows better. She doesn't even want me to go out for a walk.

When my mother calls me with an invitation to lunch on Sunday (but only if I'm feeling well and alright to go somewhere), I confirm without needing to think about it. I text Gabrielle immediately after I confirm with my mum. I thought she'd go and give me shit about it, but she doesn't. She only says Ok in return and ... that's it.

I sigh, looking at the clock again. I decide I've had enough and get up from the couch. I've done enough resting, the wound is already healed and I don't feel any pain anymore. I'm good enough to go for a walk and maybe later hit the gym if I'll be up for it. I'll be home before Gabrielle, anyway. She doesn't even need to know.

But my plan goes to hell when I'm on the way to the gym. Gabrielle calls me and, at first, I don't think anything about it because she often calls me when she's on a break. I take my headphones off. "Hey," I say when I answer her call.

"Hey, Alex. I'm just wondering where you are? I came home and you're not here."

Shit. I pause, closing my eyes. I can't lie to her. I don't want to lie to her. "You're not going to like this," I say.

"What?" She sounds suspicious.

"I'm on my way to the gym."

There's a long silence. "Alexander ... You really shouldn't do that."

I sigh in frustration. "I'm done sitting on the couch, babe. Literally over it. If I have to do it one more minute, I'll go fucking insane. I'm good, I'm healed and I'm over it already. It's like it never happened. Okay?"

There's a long silence from her. "Okay," she says softly, quietly.

"Okay," I say. "I'll see you later."

"Sure," she says and by the tone of her voice, I don't know if she's mad or if she really accepted it that easily and she's just completely nonchalant about it. I'm hoping for the latter. "Do you want anything to eat?"

"No, I'll just have a protein shake when I come home. I ate already. I thought you were coming home later."

"Yeah, well ... I came home earlier because I thought we could go somewhere. Like a dinner or something."

Fuck. I pinch the bridge of my nose, looking around myself. "We can do that later. Or I can turn around and come back. I'm on foot, though."

"No, no, it's fine. I'll be too tired afterwards probably, anyway. We'll go another time."

The one time I decide to leave the couch and finally go outside, Gabrielle decides she wants to go out. Fantastic. I guess she's over the whole babying me thing. "Okay," I say, hating myself right now. Especially when I could've had a nice evening with her and now I don't know what mood she'll be in when I return.

˙˙˙

Sam calls me on my way back from the gym. "What's up?" I ask in greeting.

"Yo. Have you heard from Snake recently?"

"I talked to him a few days ago. Briefly."

She lets out an annoyed noise. "So the jackass has been ignoring me."

"He knows?"

"He would if he picked up his goddamned phone or open the door when I stop by his place. What the fuck is the problem with you men sometimes?"

I scratch the back of my neck. "I don't know, Sam. Maybe he's just fed up with you and your games."

"I'm carrying his fucking child, Sin!" she growls. "Do you think this is a game?"

I grimace. "I don't know what's going on with you two, Sam. You want me to give him a call?"

Sam is silent for a few seconds and I can only hear her breathing. "Yeah, if you can. Just tell him to call me back. It's really important, Alex."

"I know it is. I'll see what I can do. So, is it confirmed now? You're ... pregnant?" I have a hard time even saying it, let alone imagining it. I could never see Sam with a kid. I've always thought she's more like me and that she'll stay away from kids as long as she can.

But shit can happen sometimes and it can happen quickly, I see. "Yeah. Confirmed by the doc. I'll be a mother."

I let that statement sink in. I still can't imagine it. I have a hard time picturing it, especially with Snake. He's probably going to lose his shit, but I know he's kind of obsessed with Sam, so he could come around and accept it.

I would. With Gabrielle. It'd be hard, sure, but I wouldn't leave her side, no matter what. We're in this together. She's my ride or die and I know that, no matter what, I could never leave her. I'm not embarrassed to say I'm obsessed about her, too.

"Well, shit. Who would've thought? Congratulations, I guess," I say with a grin, looking to my left and right before crossing the street. "Fine. I'll give Snake a call. He needs to find out."

"Yeah, thanks. For everything."

"Sure."

When we hang up, I call Snake immediately. He doesn't pick up so I send him a message.

Call Sam.

To which he actually responds, Nah, I'm good. Let her learn the lesson.

I roll my eyes. These two.

Suit yourself, mate. Just know I wouldn't be calling if it wasn't important.

He doesn't text back, which I expected, anyway. I put the phone back in my pocket, blowing hot air out into the cold one through the mouth. When I get to our building, I light up a cigarette and smoke it before I go up.

I know Gabrielle's in bed already the second I step inside because everything is dark and quiet. So much for a good night.

I make myself a protein shake in the kitchen and go to the bathroom afterwards, trying to be as quiet as possible.

When I come back from the bathroom and get in the bed, I hear Gabrielle shifting and I pause. "Are you awake?" I whisper.

"Yeah," she says, facing me.

I get under the covers. "Well, hello," I say cheekily, getting close to her and putting my hand on her hip. I close the distance between us completely, finding her mouth in the dark and kissing her.

I let out a groan in pleasure because hell yeah, kissing her is so addictive I could do it all day and night if she let me.

She puts her hand on my face, her touch soft and tender as she starts caressing the side of my face.

I squeeze her hip, pushing my hips against her and drop my mouth down to her neck because I know this always drives her crazy. She drops her hand down to my arm and I hear her panting. When my hand travels downwards, coming to the waist of her shorts, she stops me by putting her hand on mine. "No. We can't."

I stop what I'm doing. "Why?" And if she says it's because of my shoulder, I'll really lose it.

"I'm on my period."

My mouth lifts downwards. "You're joking," I state in frustration. Are you fucking kidding me?

"I'm not. I'm sorry," she says apologetically.

I groan. "Ah, hell," I say, disappointed. It's been days since we've been intimate and it's a big difference since before that when we had sex every day. Multiple times a day, even.

Gabrielle lets out a giggle. "Poor you. Suffering so much," she says, kissing the centre of my chest. She puts her arm over my stomach and places her head on my shoulder.

I shift, making myself comfortable, wrapping an arm around her, too. It takes me a while to fall asleep. I stay up and think about how good life is right at this exact moment, but also thinking that Gabrielle and I still have many things we should talk about.

I kiss the top of her head. The thought doesn't scare me as much as I thought it would. I know I'll do anything to keep her. Because she's worth it. And I'm also done being a jackass to her.

*

Two more chapters and we're done!