What do I feel?

Is it truly nothing?

I don't want to talk to anyone, don't want to see anyone, don't want to hear anyone: don't want anyone to see me.

And for what purpose do you wish to be alone?

So I can forget reality exists.

My attention won't hold. I have no interest in people; I don't think I really feel much for them - anyone.

Being here: why am I here?

My head aches; my stomach is in pain;

my brain is at war with my mind.

Can't leave. Can't stay. Can't leave. Can't stay. Can't leave. Can't stay... the petals fall one by one.

Being here is perhaps akin to a dark hole, sucking everything into itself. Scary, dark, aimless, empty, powerful.

My body feels weak yet it wants to move.

8-8-22