So many words swirl that I don't know what to say.

It's not even artistic anymore: my words.

Because they all crash together and nothing can string into anything and everything strings into nothing.

Hopeless.

Worthless.

Harmful.

Weak.

Sorry.

Valley of tears indeed.

I'm so sorry.

Within these months, you were my life and the consumption of my time.

My plans were with you. My hopes were for you. My inspiration was in you.

I stayed for you and then I left you.

I pulled myself from you and left us both adrift.

But really, I simply revealed myself for what I am.

Meaningless.

Weighted.

Paralyzed.

Rotting.

Numb.

I have no prospects, no plan, no drive.

No desire.

No desire for anything to change: to change myself nor my situation in life.

Somehow, along the course of my time, I ruined myself. You were my occupation which made me forget the vastness of my disgrace.

Now I've folded back into myself. How will I escape this time? How long will it take?

I'm back to where I was before I met you: running from everything and chasing toward nothing.

And I know I've left you even worse.

6-17-24