before:

Where would my dad keep his most sensitive documents? That was the most pressing question that pierced my mind as I searched high and low in his home office, tearing through boring analytical finance reports that looked like gibberish to my untrained eyes, looking for anything pertaining to my adoption and my biological parents.

There was a burning and aching need inside of me to find this crucial information, almost like I had to figure out who these people were in order to understand who I really was. In the grand scheme of things, it probably wasn't all that important, as I dictated the type of person I was and wanted to be, but what if there were certain things that I had a proclivity for because of who my birth parents were?

What if...that was my main question.

I found a sealed document underneath all of his manilla folders in his accordion drawers to the left of his desk and I sucked in a greedy breath of air as I fought back the triumph that wanted to blast through my veins.

I didn't get a chance to open the document, however, as Ian's ringtone began blasting through my phone, most likely destroying my spy career.

I cursed and quickly answered as I high tailed it out of my father's office, putting everything back into place as I spoke with my boyfriend on the phone.

"You do realize you were interrupting a very high tech spy mission right? It was like I was Tom Cruise, except the female version. I was Tomika Cruise!"

He chuckled through the other end of the phone and his next words had me laughing right along with him.

"Well, Tomika, I promise to text next time before breaking up a mission of utmost importance. What were you doing, looking for your birth family again?"

"What am I always doing? Ugh, I just want this to be over with. I sent in my DNA kit a few weeks ago and the results were supposed to be back by now. This is torture."

"I'm sorry babe. Maybe you can come over and I can torture you in a better way tonight?"

Heat flared inside of me at the clear innuendo in his words and a blush crept onto my cheeks. We hadn't gone all the way yet, but it was sure looking like it was headed that way, I was positive of that.

"Sounds like a plan. Oh, hey, I just got an email I have to check that. I'll see you tonight at eight?"

"Yes you will."

We said our goodbyes and I inhaled another sharp breath as I opened my emails. There it was, in print right before my eyes, the document I'd found long forgotten as my entire focus shifted to the answers right in front of me.

My DNA report had come back, and there was a link directing me to the website with relatives who'd agreed to share their information in order to find others related to them. This was it.

This was what I'd waited so long for.

I read the origins of my DNA, as pieces of me clicked into place with percentages and regions. I was a little bit from Scotland, ten percent. Another ten percent from Greece. Twenty percent from the Middle East and thirty percent from South America.

The last thirty percent was split up into tiny subsections spanning the different regions of Africa and right there in front of me was my entire DNA makeup sprawled out for me to see.

The list of relatives was pulled up immediately, and I devoured the names at the top. I had a full fledged, blood, first cousin. Her name was Marina Salazar, and she was my first cousin, a real cousin. I immediately requested to follow her on almost every social media platform I could find her on and sent her a direct message through the DNA service.

All I had to do after that was wait, and binge through all of the other third cousins, twice removed, that is.

now:

Lachlan's warm brown eyes met mine after the nurse shoved her blue LED pen light in my eyes to make sure I wasn't concussed. She took my vitals and my temperature, which was a few degrees lower than it should have been.

I was wrapped in thick woolen blankets after I arrived and Vera and the nurse helped me to strip off my wet and soiled layers.

Vera's eyes met mine in silent questioning a few different times, but once I was warm enough to form coherent sentences, the third degree started.

"So you were outside in the freezing temperatures because you were on the phone with Ian, who is okay?"

"Yes."

"I just don't understand. I figured you'd be happy that he's going to be okay, not trying to kill yourself out there and-"

"I wasn't trying to kill myself! I would never do that, you know my biggest fear is dying. I just lost track of time, that's all."

"That doesn't sound normal, Kate. The way you've been acting isn't normal. I think I need to call your mom and tell her-"

"No! You don't need to worry her, I still need her to agree to let me go and see Ian in California, and she definitely won't let me go if you tell her I'm acting crazy or something. I swear I just lost track of time, I was just so happy to hear the good news, and from him on a FaceTime, it was just a little overwhelming, is all."

Lachlan watched the entire conversation and exchange between the two of us with hooded eyes, arms crossed over his chest and guarding the door where the nurse had disappeared through a few minutes prior.

The weight of his stare was almost suffocating but still I continued on as if I didn't feel it, knowing that he'd have a few choice words to say to me once Vera allowed us some time to ourselves.

"Vera, can you go ask the nurse if you guys can find me a pair of dry socks please? My toes feel like they're going to fall off," I asked her, knowing that she'd jump at the request as guilt settled in my gut for using her in that way, but I needed to talk to Lachlan without her prying ears.

"Yeah, of course!"

She threw a pointed look at Lachlan as she strode past him, almost like she was sending him a silent promise that if he did anything untoward that she would come for him.

He simply rose one eyebrow wryly, and then she was gone.

He didn't waste any time. He was at my side in an instant, hands on my cheeks tugging my gaze upwards to meet his eyes.

"You can't lie to me Kat. I know you weren't just laying out there in happiness, something else is going on. If you won't talk to your best friend, to your family, talk to me. Or a therapist, the nurse, somebody. Just talk, it'll make it easier I promise."

I wanted to ask him how he was so sure it would help when a clogged lump formed in my throat. I was too tired to push past it, so I simply leaned into his hand as his forehead dipped to meet mine.

"That's fine if you don't want to talk to me, but I can still talk to you. If you don't want to stay with Vera and Blythe tonight you can stay in my cabin, I promise I'll keep my hands to myself. Does that sound good to you?"

Him keeping his hands to himself didn't sound good to me at all actually, but I nodded my acceptance nonetheless.

"Thank you," I whispered out. He had no idea how stifling it was to share a room with a couple, not to mention how much of a third wheel it made me feel, especially when I knew they'd rather have their privacy to be more intimate.

"I'll go tell Vera that the Dean gave you a new temporary room assignment."

He turned to leave but I grabbed his hand, the bravery shocking the both of us as his gaze fell upon my face.

"I want to tell you everything, but I don't know where to start."

"That right there is a start in itself. Don't worry, I'll be right back."

And he was, Vera trailing on his heels with a new blanket and fresh pair of socks. I could have sworn she heated them up, too.

"You're sure you can take her to this new room? I don't mind walking with you."

"No V I'm fine, go get back with Blythe, I'm sure you two are dying to have the room back to yourselves," I wiggled my eyebrows at her to make sure she caught the underlying meaning of my words.

If her skin wasn't so dark I would have sworn that she started blushing.

"Okay, but you make sure she gets there safely," she said pointedly at Lachlan who only threw up his arms in a surrendering motion.

"Scouts honor," he said with all seriousness and I couldn't help the snorting laugh that escaped me at the sound.

Vera watched us suspiciously and if we weren't careful she was going to unravel that there was something between us, whatever that something actually was, and that thought terrified me for some reason.

We passed the nurse in the hallway and she threw me a secret wink, one that had me questioning what exactly she knew about my 'relationship' with Lachlan but kept my mouth shut.

I enjoyed keeping whatever between the two of us a secret, it made it feel far more special and, if I was being honest with myself, less overwhelming. If anyone figured out that the two of us were spending time together and that he saved me whenever I needed it, there would be questions.

Questions I wasn't ready to answer myself, and I didn't need to add everyone else's opinions in the mix.

Lachlan grabbed up my gloved hand in his after the nurse discharged me in his care, and I recalled the way her ruddy face had flushed in his presence when he had first deposited me in her care, a flare of recognition and intrigue as she looked him over making me think they knew each other more than just student and school nurse.

Needless to say, she had no objections to him whisking me away without her first calling my parents to tell them of what had happened. She'd been particularly malleable in that regard.

It was like Lachlan had a penance for persuasion, and that wasn't lost on me as his hand found my thigh in the sanctity of his SUV once we'd reached the black vehicle and slid inside.

Tracing idle patterns on the outside of my leggings, I briefly wondered about my clothing situation for classes tomorrow but I decided to allow my mind to wander to other topics.

Despite my biological father's threats, Ian was alive and well. He had FaceTimed me and cracked jokes about cereal, and his okay-ness wasn't an understatement. It was like the anvil that had been sitting on my chest had lifted a fraction, and I could suck in oxygen just the tiniest bit easier.

I floated out of Lachlan's car as he pulled up to his cabin, that same designer atmosphere to the cozy oasis emanating from the structure.

Hand firmly grasped in mine once again, he led me over the threshold, and I made quick work of ridding myself of my overcoats and gloves and the extra blanket that I'd kept wrapped tight around my shoulders.

"Do you want anything to drink? I have some hot chocolate I can make for you," he asked as he strode towards the kitchen and my mouth watered at the thought.

"Yes, please. That sounds amazing right now," I responded, hyper aware of his actions as he pulled out a box and set to sticking the small cup into the coffee maker and placing a mug to catch the steaming, chocolatey goodness.

I took a seat at the bar on a stool, my feet dangling below me as I watched him move around, his muscles tensing and relaxing with the actions he performed, and I allowed my mind to wander, to act like I was a normal girl with normal problems in a normal life.

I imagined the feel of his hands on my hips, his strong arms banded around my body once more like they had been not too long ago.

"Kat?"

"Huh, what?"

He chuckled darkly as his eyes deepened to a midnight shade that had me scooting to the edge of the stool.

"I asked you if you wanted any marshmallows," He repeated himself and my face flared with heat as I realized that I'd been caught staring shamelessly at him and hadn't heard him the first time he'd asked that question.

"Um, yes please," I said sheepishly and there was that chuckle again, a sly smirk pinned on his face at my embarrassment. I stuck my tongue out at him when he turned his back.

"Thank you," I told him as he placed the warm and steamy mug before me, leaning against the bar that separated us so that his face was close enough to mine that I could see golden flecks swimming around in those dark chocolate eyes, the same shade as the drink before me.

I took a greedy sip and hissed as it burned my lip.

Lachlan's hand darted forward and his thumb brushed my bottom lip, analyzing me for any serious injury that the hot drink could have incurred.

I didn't dare move a single muscle for fear that he'd pull back. My breathing ragged, his fingers a sinful temptation, he slowly moved that thumb in circular motions until my abdominal muscles clenched up and my legs squeezed together out of instinct.

"So, how about you tell me that story?"

"Story?"

My voice was husky and thick with lust but I couldn't find it in me to be embarrassed about that.

His mouth quirked up on one side and as he brushed some of his dark brown hair out of his eyes, I couldn't help but notice how utterly gorgeous he was in that moment, in that dim light of the cabin.

"You said you wanted to tell me, but you didn't know where to start."

"Oh. That story."

Ice water doused my veins as sharp awareness prickled along my skin and he dropped his hand from my face, though I instantly missed the warmth of his skin.

He left his hand on the counter so I reached for it, holding the hand in mine and tracing patterns along his palm as I gathered the courage to speak.

"I guess it all started when I moved to California and did the DNA test to find my birth family."

Deep breath. Here goes nothing.

"I found them, and other things, like I told you before. But what I didn't tell you is that I reached out and discovered that my birth mother was already dead...and that my birth father murdered her."