"Come on, just take the shot!  Don't be a-"

"I'm taking the shot, okay?  Geez," I muttered out at Vera's insistence.  

We were all back at Lachlan's parent's house, and instead of populating the hot tub, I decided that I would've rather hung out in the downstairs recreational room, mainly because of the...activities I'd participated in at the hotel that had left me feeling more than a little sore in certain places. 

I could still remember the feeling of Lachlan stretching me and making me whole while-

"Katrina Randolph, are my eyes deceiving me?  Are you blushing?!"

"What?  No.  I don't blush.  My skin's too dark to even see a blush," I said confidently, although that false bravado came from the fact that I assumed I was still dark enough for that to be true, but living in upstate New York in the middle of winter was more than enough to sap the color from my skin that I'd achieved out in California. 

"No, I think you are!  And you can't stop staring at Lachlan.  I saw you two disappear at the hotel, so I'm honestly just giving you a hard time, but come on, just between us girls, did you guys make up?"

I rolled my eyes at Vera's playful words and threw back the scorching liquid, the heat drawing the fire from my inflamed cheeks at what she was hinting at. 

"If you already know the answer to that, why are you making me respond?  You obviously just want to humiliate me," I reminded her, wanting nothing more than to escape this conversation with Vera, Blythe, Sloane and Jenna while the guys were over on the other side of the basement playing beer pong for whatever reason I had no idea. 

Guys and games that had to do with balls, it was a macabre fascination, really. 

"Because, watching you all nervous over a guy is hilarious, and really cute.  Plus, I haven't been able to tease you for a month.  Which reminds me," she said, drawing us in by pausing. 

All of a sudden, her hand came out and punched me on the arm, causing a shoot of pain to go flashing through me. 

"Ow!  What was that for?"

Before I even had the words out, I knew exactly what that was for.  She gave me a meaningful look and I just rolled my eyes. 

"Okay, maybe I deserved that, but did you have to hit me so hard?"

My whine made the rest of the girls chuckle.  At least they'd all accepted Jenna's presence without argument, and they weren't as upset as I had expected at me.  Vera was more playful than outright angry, but I assumed they were just happy that I'd given up my vow of silence with them that she didn't want to push me away again. 

A strike of guilt shot me in the chest as I realized the lengths my best friend was going to in trying to keep her cool at how I'd acted and I was just going to leave right after this night and possibly never see her again.  

All to keep her safe, though.  I'd rather her hate me and my ghost forever than her be dead herself, because of me.  Well, at the hands of my evil birth father, but I'd still be guilty by association.  

If she'd never met me, she would never have been in danger, none of my friends or family would have, and that sinking realization put a damper on my good mood. 

That is, until Lachlan came sauntering over with a half smirk on his face and something in his hand that looked suspiciously like some ridiculously expensive bourbon. 

"Come on, let's drink this.  It's from my dad's secret stash and it's like over a hundred years old."

"Won't Dad be super pissed when he finds out you stole that?"

Lachlan rolled his eyes at his little sister. 

"I'll just tell him Brandon stole it.  Problem solved."

My face soured at the mention of his older brother, as did everyone else's expressions, and it was like we all made a silent pact to keep his name out of our mouths for the rest of the evening, so as to keep everything light and fun. 

It was like they knew that this was a goodbye, deep down, like they could see the resignation in my eyes.  When our favorite songs came on the radio, we'd all jump up and scream the lyrics at the top of our lungs, even Lachlan joining in on the craziness. 

Evan caught my eye in the corner of the room, brooding over his red solo cup and I edged my way away from all of the dancing and singing to finally speak with him.  It was long overdue. 

Before I could make it to him, however, Lachlan caught me around the waist and spun me to his chest, those eyes promising that we'd meet up later before the night was over. 

I learned close and before I could say anything he beat me to it. 

"You're sleeping in my room tonight."

"Obviously," I responded, though my heart sunk when I realized that I wouldn't be there when he woke up. 

Resolve renewed, I turned to find Evan scowling into his drink. 

"Hey, what's with the long face?"

"Really?  'What's with the long face?'  That's the cheesiest question you could've asked me."

I took in his tightly drawn features, dark brown curls dancing atop his head in disarray as he watched everyone else in our friend group dancing and cackling like hyenas when Lincoln would do something ridiculous.

"I'm sorry, I'll come up with a better question, hold on.  Okay, I've got it.  Why are you acting like such a sour puss?"

"Sour puss is even worse, just so you know," he told me, though there was a hint of a smirk on his face as he said so. 

"Hey, I'm trying to see why you look all grumpy and sad over here and you're just insulting my question.  Come on, what's up?"

He let out a long and dragging sigh while I gazed over at my friends, still laughing and dancing and drinking and having the best time.  I couldn't wait to join them with Evan, once he got over what was going through his head. 

"I don't know, I guess when you said you only liked me as a friend, I understood, and I tried to get over it, I really did.  Then you were with Lachlan all of a sudden even though he was a complete dick to you, and then he really hurt you, and you still got back with him.  Sometimes it just feels like the nice guys always finish last."

"Wow Evan, I didn't know you were still carrying feelings from then.  I'm sorry I haven't been a good enough friend to notice it.  With Lachlan...I understand your view of things, but from where I stand he's just as much of a lost soul as I am.  We both have trauma to overcome in our lives and we have more than just terrible DNA on our father's side.  We understand each other...I know from the outside looking it, it seems like he's this terrible guy, but you haven't heard our conversation, the things he's told me, his sincere apologies for acting how he did and his reasons behind it.  I'm sure if you talked to him, he'd explain because it's not my place to discuss his past and his pain with you, but that's what it is.  I really don't want us to get stuck on this and that we can't move forward as friends."

He pondered my words for a few beats before lifting his head and inhaling a deep breath. 

"No worries, Kate. We were always cool, my beef is more with Lachlan anyways.  I'll talk to him."

"Good.  Now, Mr. Grumpy Pants, it is time for you to join the party," I told him, laughing as I tugged a reluctant and rueful Evan from his seat to join the party just as "Go To Town" by Doja Cat came blaring through our speaker. 

"Yes!"

"Oh my god I LOVE this song!"

My throat was raw by the end of the night from laughing and singing, my muscles sore from dancing but it was a good sore, the kind that lets you know that you just had the best night of your life. 

Which was why, after I lay in Lachlan's arms one more time while the taste of him still danced upon my tongue, I texted the number that contacted me last.

Me:  When and where do you want to meet?

Unknown Number:  Tonight.  Corner of Bluebird and Main.  Meet behind the bar, 'Johnny D's'.  

Lachlan turned in his sleep, gripping me even tighter as I tried to extract myself from his embrace, that delectable cologne invading my senses bringing tears to my eyes as I tried to imagine not being in his life anymore.  Just being...dead. 

But then I tried to imagine a world without him in it, and that was even worse. 

He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you," but I needed to be sure. 

"Lachlan?"

"Hm?  I love you, Kat."

Yep, those were tears alright. 

"I love you, too, Lachlan."

And then I peeled his hand off my waist, pulled myself out of his bed with strength I didn't know I held, tugged on all of my clothes and gave him one last, longing look before I took off in the night.