A deep breath, and then his hand clenched into a fist with my hands still drawing caressed whispers across his skin.  I didn't let him interrupt me, though.  This was a story that I needed to get out, and I didn't know how badly I needed to say the words out loud until the details came pouring out of me.

"He found out that she gave me up for adoption after he left her when she got pregnant and when she wouldn't tell him what family I'd been given to, he killed her.  Shot her in the head.  He didn't go to prison though, the police never caught him."

I didn't dare meet his eyes.  I had to force it all out, otherwise it would be stuck in my throat forever. 

"I didn't even realize what I was doing until it was too late," I said, tears constricting my throat so that it was harder and harder to speak. 

"I reached out to my first cousin, her name was Marina.  She was gorgeous, and so sweet.  She said I looked just like my birth mother.  But my mistake was reaching out to the other cousins, the ones on my biological father's side.  He'd been searching for me since I was put up for adoption and-"

I cut myself off as a choking sob wound its way up from my chest, the glacial turmoil wrapped in organs and blood freezing off everything else from the rest of my body.  I was an iceberg in the middle of a drifting, frozen lake surrounded by jagged peaks and frigid landmarks. 

I did the only thing I could, then, taking my phone out and scrolling to the latest messages that were the usual variety of threatening and handed it to him, watching as his eyes grew wide at first and then blazing with an anger that I'd never seen reflected back at me as he gaped, going front he phone screen to back at me and then back to the phone screen once more.

"What the fuck is this, Kat?!"

"My biological father."

Understanding dawned across his features just as a sympathetic pain flashed, and for a moment I was dreading the pity that I knew would inevitably come, but instead we had bonded over this unique brand of pain- pain inflicted by our 'fathers' as I recalled our previous conversation about his dad and the abuse that came with him.

"You have to go to the police, to your parents, to-"

"The police didn't stop him the first time when he-"

I almost said when he raped my birth mother, but I wasn't quite ready to disclose that information just yet, if ever. 

"When he murdered my birth mother.  My parents are aware of him, that's why Sloane overheard them on the phone saying that I wouldn't be leaving New York at all, especially not to go to California.  They know.  He was the one who...who caused Ian's wreck."

Understanding dawned on his features. 

"He sent me a message just after Alyssa told me the news that day at school."

"That was why you were so upset, more than I would have assumed you would have acted if something like that had happened before.  It was because you thought it was your fault."

I yanked my hands away from his that had still been tracing patterns on his skin. 

"Because it was my fault, it is.  If it weren't for being involved with me, Ian wouldn't have almost died, and that girl wouldn't have actually died."

"Kat, you can't assume the faults of a psychopath.  It was your biological father's fault, not yours."

"Maybe not, but anyone who gets hurt from here on out is on me."

"And where do you get that idea from?"

His words were sincere and serious, though I could tell that he didn't believe me. 

"I know the kind of danger I bring with me.  He ran Ian and that girl off the road because he thought it was me with him.  He thought I was her, Leah, the girl who died because of my psychopathic biological father.  But anyone else I allow close to me, they all will be caught in the crossfire from now on.  I know that he'll stop at nothing to...I don't know, hurt me, kill me, harass me, whatever he wants from me.  What kind of person would I be if I allowed other innocent people into this mess?"

He shook his head and let out a deep sigh. 

"It makes you human.  You can't control what others do, only what you do."

"Exactly.  And I know how evil he is, and so choosing to bring others into this puts them in danger.  It would be selfish of me to allow others to share this burden with me when I know it could get them hurt, or killed."

"But is that your decision to make?  What if the other person knows and understand the risks and decides that you're worth it anyway.  What then?  Are you just going to push them away anyway, regardless of what they decide?"

His words stung my cheeks with heat and I withdrew from the counter where he'd been leaning so close to me, too close. 

His words rang out in my ears.  It didn't sound as if he were speaking in hypotheticals any longer, it sounded like he was talking about him.  And that I was worth whatever danger my sperm donor father brought with him. 

"Is that why you don't want anyone at school knowing we've been spending more time together lately?  Not because of our weird past, but because you're worried about him hurting me?  Kat, look at me," he said gently, his fingertips brushing my chin with slight pressure to flick upwards to meet my eyes. 

We were so close, a whisper apart.  I had no idea why my emotions were so in flux, but I wished I could close that distance and place my lips upon his. 

"He couldn't hurt me.  The only way he'd do that is by taking you away from me."

And then he did what I'd wished not a moment earlier.  He kissed me. 

It was as if two pieces of a puzzle had finally been found and brought together.  

His lips were decadent and smooth against my own, slipping past my defenses and barriers that I'd erected high in my mind to protect me from these feelings and emotions that crashed down around me like waves against a high sea wall.  

His hands wound their way through my hair and I cursed the kitchen counter between our bodies, but that didn't stop Lachlan from pulling me as close as possible with something obstructing us.  

My hands found their way to his shoulder and the other lower on his side, my fingers digging in as his tongue infiltrated my mouth forcing a soft gasp out of my mouth that he swallowed greedily, a warmth of lust and desire pooling in my stomach as I attempted to keep my head on straight but that was almost impossible with his lips on mine. 

He kissed me like a drowning man and I was his air, the force and raw power of the action so intimate stars flew behind my closed eyelids as he tore his lips from mine and skimmed them down the side of my neck, trailing hot open mouthed kisses down to the arch between my neck and shoulder. 

I was on fire, a wrangled mess of lust and need, and it didn't help that Lachlan knew exactly what he was doing. 

His hands trailed down along with his mouth, fingers teasing skin and brushing against the swell of my breast through my cashmere sweater.  

Gasping out at the light touch, I arched my back as a light moan left me that I didn't have time to feel embarrassed about and I just knew he was smirking at my reaction to him. 

His mouth was on mine once more, tongue prodding and teasing more and more illicit reactions out of me that I never knew I'd be sharing with Lachlan.  Not in a million years, but there we were. 

Our kisses grew less frantic, less rushed and at a more leisured pace.  I didn't have it in me to growl my disappointment at the fact before he swiftly and smoothly walked around the edge of the counter and grabbed my hand in his, tugging me to follow after him.  

We were headed towards the bed, but for some reason I knew that he wasn't going to take things any further.  Not after he'd slowed down our kiss.  

"You can wear these tonight since we didn't grab you any clothes.  I'll take you to Blythe's dorm early so you can get ready in the morning."

"Thank you," I said hoarsely, cursing the fact that I was still so affected by him and yet he seemed fine...unless I looked very closely.  At his messed up hair that I couldn't believe I'd done to him, at his swollen lips and rapidly rising chest.  Maybe he was just as affected as I was...

He pulled me close once more, grabbing my hand in his lightly as his lips crested the top of my forehead. 

"We still have a lot to talk about Kat, but first you need to get into my pants," he said with a wink, heat surging forth once more in my veins from his words. 

Rolling my eyes playfully, I strode past him and pushed into the bathroom, the only room with a door in the entire cabin, and performed my basic hygiene routine.  I didn't have a toothbrush so I poured out some mouth wash in a disposable cup and swished it around a few times, just in case Lachlan wanted to kiss me some more.  Okay, I was hoping more than anything that he'd want to kiss me again. 

And I wasn't the least bit shamed about that. 

I should've felt something other than the fluttering excitement pounding in my chest, something other than the vast happiness that soared through my body, but I didn't. 

I should've felt guilty for telling him everything, for making him invested in how this story would end.  I should have felt guilty for dragging him into something that would surely get him caught in the crossfire of an inevitable war that I'd started for myself when I went searching for my birth family, but I didn't. 

He made a decision, just like he'd said.  

Did that mean I wanted to go public with whatever it was that we were doing?  Not yet.  I still hadn't distanced myself from Vera like I wanted to do to keep her from the danger, though pulling away from her and spending more time with Lachlan might have been me doing just that, only subconsciously. 

If anything happened to anyone that I cared about...I would never be able to forgive myself, no matter if I wasn't the one to pull the metaphorical trigger. 

I shushed my racing thoughts before they turned into another panic attack and thought happy thoughts, like Ian being alive and well, and Lachlan's soft, velvety lips against mine.  Oh yeah, those were some great happy thoughts, alright. 

I almost forgot about my homicidal, rapist biological father, backstabbing sister, apathetic adoptive parents, my fight with Jenna and the other multitude of problems that I was faced with on a daily basis.  Maybe it was time that I forgot about all of those problems, just for a little while. 

He was already laid back against the headboard with a classic mystery novel in his hands, feet crossed at the end.  He had on his grey drawstring sweatpants and nothing else.  My eyes feasted upon his tanned skin carved like rock, the six pack mainly drawing my attention. 

I felt small and meek in the throes of his gaze, as I had forgone the drawstring basketball shorts he'd given me.  The shirt was more than long enough to reach past my knees.  

"I think I prefer you in my clothes than your own," he said, eyeing the long sleeved knit shirt that hardly clung to my body but left little to the imagination when it came to my legs.  

One side of his mouth tipped up as I moved toward the bed and settled in between his legs like we had the one other time that we'd been at his cabin, reading together.  

His body was a furnace around me and quelled any chilled remnants of the night I'd had and just before I closed my eyes, he shifted and pulled the blanket around us, the warm pine and minty scent enveloping the both of us, the remnants of his cologne still grasping to him forcing a flutter down in my chest. 

In one fell swoop, he had shifted his legs so that my back was suddenly flush with his front, and we were spooning.  I couldn't wrap my mind around the things that had transpired for this to have happened, and I didn't want to overthink it. 

"So Kat, am I still going to be your dirty little secret, or have you decided to let me make my own decisions?"

I chewed on my thumbnail as his warm breath crested atop my ear.  

"Let me talk to Ian tomorrow, ask him if he remembers anything about the wreck and if he's noticed anyone creeping around him that seem suspicious.  If my biological father is still in California and still watching Ian...I don't know what that would mean.  I think I'll call the police.  I have all the messages saved still, the ones where he admitted to hurting Ian.  I didn't call them first because I was scared that he'd retaliate, but I'm sure they're watching him more now that he's out of the coma, right?"

"Whatever makes you feel comfortable, Kat.  It warms me how you worry about me, that you have to ask your ex if you can be seen in public with me," he added mockingly and I barely shoved his shoulder as I turned to face him before my cheeks filled with excess blood once more, the rest of the heat in my body going south. 

Lachlan seemed to realize where my thoughts had gone, as his features most likely matched my own, the hunger appearing in those dark eyes torching me alive. 

He didn't do anything about it, though, as those lips resisted the sinful urges I'm sure he held and only allowed them to kiss my forehead. 

"I won't do anything you're uncomfortable with, and if you want to stay a secret I can keep up the act.  Just know that every time I pretend glare at you, I'll be thinking of you in my shirt, in my arms, in my bed..." he trailed off and that was my cue to roll over before I pushed his restraint any further. 

"Goodnight," I told him sheepishly, and he could tell how worked up I was because his answering chuckle sent shivers cascading down my spine in answer.  It was so strange how well we fit together.  How he could hold me so close and I wasn't uncomfortable like I was with Ian, not too hot and not too cold, my arms not constricted in a painful position as we tried to cuddle. 

This was the most natural thing I'd ever felt, and I didn't want to overthink what that might have meant. 

"Goodnight Katrina," he responded and while I wanted to snip at him for using my full name, I didn't want to push it and allowed my eyes to drift close, thinking of soft caresses and hot chocolate marshmallow kisses.