big ass chapter

The drive to the hospital was a blur. Billie gripped the steering wheel tightly, her mind racing with a thousand thoughts. Aaron's words from the call replayed in her head like a mantra. He's not going anywhere. He's not going anywhere.

She tried to hold onto that hope, but the weight of everything threatened to crush her. Cedric had always been her rock, her steady presence, and now he was lying in a hospital bed fighting for his life.

When Billie arrived at the hospital, she clutched the bouquet of white lilies in her hands-a quiet symbol of the hope she was desperately clinging to. Her footsteps echoed down the sterile corridor as she approached Cedric's room.

Aaron was waiting just outside the door, his tall frame slouched with exhaustion. He looked up when he saw her, offering a weak smile. "Hey, Billie," he said softly.

"Hey," she replied, her voice barely above a whisper. She glanced through the small window in the door, her breath hitching at the sight of Cedric. He was lying shirtless on the bed, monitors and wires connected to his chest, the rise and fall of his breathing slow but steady.

"They're keeping an eye on his lung," Aaron explained, following her gaze. "The bullet did some damage, but the doctors say he's stable for now."

Billie nodded, unable to tear her eyes away from him. "Thank you for being here, Aaron."

"Of course," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "He's my little brother. I'd be here even if they tried to kick me out."

She managed a small smile before pushing the door open and stepping inside. The room was quiet, save for the soft beeping of the heart monitor. Billie set the flowers on the bedside table, her fingers trembling slightly.

She pulled up a chair beside Cedric's bed and sat down, her gaze tracing the contours of his face. His skin was pale, and his body seemed so much smaller without the strength and energy she was used to seeing in him.

Billie reached out, her fingers brushing against his hand. "Hey," she whispered, even though she knew he couldn't hear her. "I'm here."

The hours passed in a haze. Nurses came and went, checking his vitals, adjusting his IV, and updating his chart. Billie stayed by his side, refusing to leave, even when her body begged for rest.

Later that night, Aaron had gone home to shower and eat, leaving Billie alone with Cedric. She leaned forward in her chair, resting her head on the edge of the bed. Her free hand rested on her stomach, a protective instinct she hadn't even realized she had until now.

She hadn't told him yet. About the baby.

She'd found out just a week before the attack, the news both exhilarating and terrifying. She'd planned to tell Cedric in a special way, imagining the joy on his face when he found out he was going to be a father. But now, with everything that had happened, that dream felt so far away.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sudden, jarring sound of alarms.

Billie shot up from her chair, her heart pounding as the monitors began to beep erratically. Cedric's body jerked slightly, his chest rising and falling unevenly.

"No," she whispered, panic flooding her veins. "No, no, no!"

The door burst open, and a team of doctors and nurses rushed in, their voices loud and urgent as they surrounded Cedric.

"Vitals are crashing!"

"Code blue, page the surgeon!"

Billie was pushed out of the way, her back hitting the wall as the medical team worked furiously to stabilize him. She watched in horror as they started chest compressions, the sight of Cedric's lifeless body breaking something deep inside her.

"Cedric!" she cried, her voice trembling with desperation.

"Miss, you need to step outside," one of the nurses said firmly, guiding her toward the door.

"No! I'm not leaving him!" Billie protested, but the nurse was insistent, gently but firmly ushering her out into the hallway.

The door shut behind her, leaving her standing alone in the cold, sterile corridor. She pressed her hands to the glass window, her vision blurred by tears as she watched the doctors work to revive him.

Inside the room, the chaos continued. Billie could hear snippets of their voices through the glass.

"Clear!"

A jolt from the defibrillator made Cedric's body jump, but the monitor remained flat.

"Come on," Billie whispered, her voice breaking. "Come back to me."

The seconds dragged on, each one feeling like an eternity. She felt utterly helpless, her nails digging into her palms as she fought the urge to scream.

Her hand drifted to her stomach again, the weight of her secret pressing down on her like a heavy stone. Cedric didn't even know. He didn't know he had something to fight for.

"Please," she whispered, her voice cracking. "Please, Cedric. Don't leave me. Don't leave us."

The room was a blur of movement, the doctors working tirelessly to save him. Billie's knees buckled, and she sank to the floor, her head resting against the glass as silent sobs wracked her body.

Time seemed to stretch endlessly, each moment filled with unbearable tension.

And then, suddenly, the flatline changed.

A weak but steady beep filled the room, and the energy shifted.

"We've got a pulse," one of the doctors said, his tone both relieved and cautious.

Billie's head shot up, her tear-streaked face filled with hope. She watched as the team worked quickly to stabilize him, their movements precise and efficient.

The lead doctor stepped out of the room a few moments later, his face a mix of exhaustion and reassurance.

"He's stable again," he said, his voice calm. "But it was close. He's still not out of the woods, but he's fighting."

Billie nodded, her chest heaving with relief as fresh tears spilled down her cheeks. "Thank you," she whispered.

The doctor gave her a small nod before walking away, leaving Billie alone in the hallway.

She pressed her forehead against the glass, her hand splayed over her stomach.

"You hear that?" she whispered, her voice trembling. "He's fighting. He's not giving up."

"Did you know that you died for 54 seconds?"

Aaron leaned back in the hospital chair, watching his brother casually shrug off the idea of technically dying. "Wouldn't be the first time?" he repeated, raising an eyebrow. "You say that like it's normal, Ced."

Cedric let out a low chuckle, wincing slightly as the motion tugged at the healing wound in his abdomen. "It's not normal, but it happens," he said, his voice steady despite the weight of his words. "Military days weren't exactly peaceful, Aaron."

Aaron looked like he wanted to press the subject further, but Billie shot him a sharp glance. "Let him eat," she said, her voice soft but firm.

She sat close to Cedric, holding a forkful of the quinoa salad her mom had prepared. Cedric sighed and opened his mouth obediently, letting her feed him. "You know I can feed myself," he muttered between bites.

"You know you're supposed to be resting," she shot back, her lips quirking into a small smile.

Aaron smirked, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. "So, You're really leaning into this whole 'damsel in distress' vibe, huh?"

Cedric rolled his eyes, taking a sip of water before responding. "If you want to call surviving an armed fan attack 'damsel behavior,' sure, Aaron. Whatever helps you sleep at night."

Billie couldn't help but laugh, the sound lightening the room's tension. "I'd say he earned a little TLC," she said, her tone playful as she set the fork down.

Aaron raised his hands in mock surrender. "Alright, alright. I'm just saying, it's weird seeing him like this. Vulnerable. You're usually the one tackling bad guys, not being fed like a toddler."

Cedric didn't respond, but his gaze softened as he looked at Billie. Despite Aaron's teasing, there was something comforting about letting someone else take care of him for once.

Later that night, Aaron had gone home, leaving Billie and Cedric alone in the hospital room. The room was dimly lit, the hum of the machines providing a steady background noise. Billie sat cross-legged in the chair beside Cedric's bed, scrolling through her phone aimlessly.

"Billie," Cedric said suddenly, breaking the silence.

She looked up, her eyebrows lifting in curiosity. "What's up?"

He hesitated for a moment, his green eyes meeting hers. "Why haven't you left? You've been here the whole time."

Her heart skipped a beat at the question. "Where else would I be?" she asked softly.

Cedric's gaze flickered down to the blanket covering his lap. "I'm just saying, you've got a tour to finish. A career to think about. I'm not exactly a priority right now."

Billie frowned, leaning forward to rest her arms on the edge of his bed. "You are, though," she said firmly. "You're my priority, Cedric."

He looked up at her, the vulnerability in his eyes making her chest ache. "Why?"

Her hand reached out, brushing lightly against his. She wanted to tell him everything-the baby, the future she was already picturing with him-but the timing didn't feel right. He needed to heal first. "Because I care about you," she said simply.

Cedric's lips curved into a faint smile. "You're stubborn, you know that?"

She grinned, leaning back in her chair. "You've mentioned it a few times."

The following days were a mix of recovery and quiet moments. Cedric was slowly regaining his strength, though the doctors insisted on keeping him under observation for a while longer. Billie refused to leave his side, dividing her time between taking care of him and handling tour logistics from her laptop.

One afternoon, as Cedric dozed off, Billie sat on the small couch in the corner of the room, her phone pressed to her ear.

"Zoe, I don't know how to tell him," she whispered, her voice laced with anxiety.

Her best friend's voice crackled through the line. "You just do it, B. Rip the Band-Aid off. He deserves to know."

"I know, but he's still recovering. I don't want to stress him out."

"Billie," Zoe said, her tone gentle but firm. "This is huge. He's going to find out eventually, and it's better if it comes from you."

Billie sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I know. I'll tell him. Just... not yet."

Cedric woke up to the sound of Billie humming softly. She was sitting beside him again, her phone in one hand and her other hand resting lightly on her stomach. He blinked a few times, his vision adjusting to the soft light in the room.

"You're always here," he murmured, his voice raspy from sleep.

She glanced at him, her face lighting up with a smile. "And you're always sleeping," she teased.

He chuckled weakly, shifting slightly in the bed. "Can't help it. They've got me on enough meds to knock out a horse."

She set her phone down, leaning closer to him. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," he said, his voice steady. "Strong enough to get out of this bed, honestly."

"Not a chance," Billie said firmly. "Doctor's orders."

Cedric smirked, his eyes studying her face. "You're bossy."

"You love it," she shot back, her cheeks flushing slightly.

Their eyes met, and for a moment, the world outside the hospital room seemed to fade away. Cedric reached out, his hand brushing against hers.

"Billie," he said softly, his voice carrying an unspoken question.

"Yeah?"

He hesitated, his green eyes searching hers. "When I was out... after the shooting... I thought about you."

Her heart clenched, the weight of his words settling over her. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "I just... I kept thinking that I couldn't leave you. That I didn't want to."

Tears welled up in Billie's eyes, and she squeezed his hand tightly. "You didn't leave me," she said, her voice trembling. "You came back."

He nodded, his gaze never leaving hers. "Yeah. For you."

She swallowed hard, her other hand resting instinctively on her stomach. The moment felt so raw, so honest, and yet she still couldn't bring herself to tell him. Not yet.

That night, Cedric drifted off to sleep again, his breathing steady and even. Billie sat beside him, her fingers lightly tracing the back of his hand.

She knew she couldn't keep the secret much longer. He deserved to know, especially after everything they'd been through.

As she watched him sleep, a sense of calm washed over her. Cedric was a fighter, and no matter what challenges lay ahead, she knew they would face them together.

For now, she let the quiet of the room settle around her, finding solace in the steady rhythm of his heartbeat on the monitor.

Tomorrow, she promised herself. Tomorrow, she would tell him everything.

"Welcome home," Billie said softly, supporting Cedric as he limped inside. His hand gripped the cane tightly, his movements slow but deliberate. Shark, her excitable pitbull, darted across the living room with uncontainable enthusiasm, skidding to a stop in front of Cedric before letting out a happy bark.

"Hey, buddy," Cedric said with a faint smile, leaning down just enough to pat Shark's head. The dog whined and licked his hand, his tail wagging furiously.

Billie stepped back, watching the interaction with a bittersweet smile. She was painfully aware of how much Cedric had changed in the past three months. His curls were longer and fluffier, and the beard he had grown out during his recovery added a rugged charm to his already striking features. But there was a weariness in his posture, a heaviness in his eyes that hadn't been there before.

"It's good to see Shark's still got all that energy," Cedric muttered, glancing up at Billie as she stood by the couch. He noticed her gaze lingering on him and raised an eyebrow. "What? Do I have something on my face?"

Billie shook her head quickly, forcing herself to look away. "No, you're just...different," she said softly. "The beard, the hair...I barely recognize you."

Cedric chuckled as he straightened up. "Well, you're the one who told me to grow it out. Don't tell me you've changed your mind already."

She smiled faintly but didn't respond, busying herself by helping him to the couch. As he sat down with a sigh, she knelt in front of him and reached for his shirt.

"Let me check your dressing," she murmured.

"You don't have to-"

"Cedric," she interrupted, giving him a pointed look. "Just let me take care of you."

He closed his mouth, watching as she gently pulled up his shirt to expose the bandages on his abdomen. Her hands were careful, but he could see the tension in her jaw as she worked.

"Billie," he said quietly.

"Hmm?"

"You're staring."

She froze for a moment, her hands hovering over the fresh gauze she had just applied. "I'm not," she said quickly, though her tone betrayed her.

"You are," he insisted, a small smirk tugging at his lips. "What's on your mind?"

Her heart pounded in her chest as she avoided his gaze, focusing on smoothing down the edges of the bandage. She couldn't tell him-not yet.

"Nothing," she lied, standing up abruptly and stepping back. His hands instinctively reached for her waist, but she quickly moved out of his reach.

The shift in her demeanor didn't go unnoticed. Cedric frowned, lowering his hand back to his lap. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said again, her voice tight.

"Billie," he pressed, his tone firm. "Talk to me."

"I said it's nothing!" she snapped, her voice louder than she intended.

The room fell into an uncomfortable silence, Shark's ears perking up at the sudden tension. Cedric stared at her, his green eyes searching hers for answers, but she refused to meet his gaze.

After a moment, she sighed and turned away, running a hand through her hair. "I'm sorry," she murmured. "I didn't mean to yell."

"It's okay," Cedric said softly. "But I know you, Billie. When you're acting like this, it's not nothing. Is it the tour? Did something happen while I was stuck in the hospital?"

Her stomach churned at his words. She could feel the weight of the secret she was carrying, pressing down on her like a stone. She had planned to tell him today, but now that he was here, sitting in front of her, she felt paralyzed.

"I just..." She hesitated, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her oversized sweatshirt. "I've been stressed, that's all. A lot's been happening."

Cedric didn't look convinced, but he decided not to push further. He knew better than anyone that Billie would talk when she was ready. "Alright," he said finally. "But you know I'm here, right? Whatever it is, you can tell me."

She nodded quickly, her throat tightening with emotion. "I know," she whispered.

Later that evening, Billie stood in the kitchen, stirring a pot of soup while Shark padded around her feet. She couldn't focus, her mind racing with thoughts of Cedric and the secret she was keeping from him.

She glanced over her shoulder, watching as Cedric sat on the couch, flipping through a book Aaron had left behind. He looked so at ease, so content to just be home after months of pain and recovery.

Her hand instinctively went to her stomach, her fingers brushing over the slight curve that was now impossible to ignore. She had always worn baggy clothes, so no one had questioned her sudden preference for oversized sweatshirts and loose dresses. But she knew she couldn't hide it forever-especially not from Cedric.

"Billie?"

She jumped, turning to see Cedric leaning against the kitchen doorway, his cane propped up beside him.

"You okay?" he asked, his brow furrowed in concern.

"Yeah," she said quickly, turning back to the stove. "Dinner's almost ready."

He didn't move, his gaze fixed on her. "You've been acting weird all day," he said quietly.

Her grip on the spoon tightened, and she forced a laugh. "I'm fine, Ced. Just tired from the tour, that's all."

"Billie," he said, his voice soft but insistent. "Talk to me."

She froze, her heart pounding in her chest. She could feel his eyes on her, waiting for her to say something, anything. But the words caught in her throat, too heavy to push out.

"I can't," she whispered, her voice barely audible.

"Why not?" he asked, stepping closer.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she turned to face him, her hand still resting on her stomach. "Because I'm scared," she admitted.

Cedric's eyes softened, and he took another step toward her, his hand reaching out to gently cup her cheek. "Scared of what?"

She swallowed hard, her lips trembling as she finally said the words she had been holding in for months. "I'm pregnant, Cedric."

For a moment, the world seemed to stop. Cedric stared at her, his expression unreadable.

"You're...?"

She nodded, her tears spilling over as she looked up at him. "I found out after the shooting. I didn't want to tell you while you were in the hospital. I didn't want to stress you out."

Cedric's hand dropped from her cheek, his gaze shifting to her stomach. His mind raced as he processed her words, the reality of what she was saying slowly sinking in.

"You're serious?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Yeah," she said, her voice breaking. "I'm serious."

For a moment, he didn't say anything. Then, to her surprise, he let out a breathless laugh.

"Cedric?" she asked, her brow furrowing in confusion.

He looked up at her, a wide smile spreading across his face. "I'm gonna be a dad?"

She nodded, a small smile breaking through her tears. "Yeah, you are."

Cedric stepped forward, pulling her into a gentle hug. His arms wrapped around her carefully, mindful of her growing belly.

"I can't believe this," he murmured, his voice filled with wonder. "Billie, this is... this is incredible."

She let out a shaky laugh, her head resting against his chest. "I was so scared to tell you."

"Why?" he asked, pulling back slightly to look at her.

"Because everything's been so crazy lately," she admitted. "And I didn't know how you'd react."

He cupped her face in his hands, his green eyes shining with emotion. "Billie, you don't have to be scared. We're in this together, okay? Whatever happens, we'll figure it out."

Tears streamed down her face as she nodded, her heart swelling with love for the man standing in front of her.

"Okay," she whispered.

Cedric leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. "I love you," he said, his voice steady and sure.

"I love you too," she said, her voice trembling with emotion.

For the first time in months, she felt a sense of peace wash over her.