nineteen.
Billie flopped onto her massive cloud-like bed, phone in hand, barely able to hold in her excitement. She adjusted the camera angle, making sure her friends could see her face properly as she dialed the group FaceTime. As the call connected, the screen filled with the chaotic energy of her closest friends, all talking over each other as they joined in.
"Finally!" Quenlin's voice rang out first. "Billie Eilish on the hotline! What's the tea today, Queen?"
"Why do you sound like you're hosting a reality show?" Odessa teased, stuffing her face with chips.
"Shut up, Dessa. Billie has something to say. I can feel it," Quen snapped, her eyes narrowing at the camera. "Am I right, Billie? You're glowing, girl."
Billie rolled her eyes but couldn't hide the smile tugging at her lips. "Okay, so... so much has happened in the last week."
"SPILL THE TEAAAA," they all screamed in unison, making Billie wince and laugh.
"Y'all are so extra. Okay, okay, let me start from the beginning," Billie said, pulling her legs up under her. She glanced toward the door, making sure Cedric wasn't back yet. She lowered her voice, leaning into the phone as if someone might overhear. "So, um... I slept with him."
The screen erupted into chaos.
"WHAT?!" Quen nearly fell off her chair.
"No way!" Odessa gasped, her mouth full.
"Wait, wait, wait, back up," Ava demanded, throwing up her hands. "When? How? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US SOONER?"
"Guys, let her talk!" Zoe finally interjected, her voice cutting through the noise.
Billie bit her lip, trying not to laugh at their reactions. "Okay, so it happened a few nights ago after we celebrated my album drop. We were drinking-"
"Obviously," Quen interjected.
"And we got kinda tipsy," Billie continued, ignoring the comment. "One thing led to another... and yeah. It just... happened."
The silence that followed was deafening, which was rare for her group of friends.
"Was it good, though?" Odessa asked, breaking the tension.
"DESSA!"
"What? It's a valid question!"
Billie groaned, covering her face with her hands. "Yes, okay? It was good. Too good. That's the problem."
"So what's the issue, then?" Ava asked, crossing her arms.
Billie sighed, leaning back against the cushions. "The next morning, he said it shouldn't have happened. He was all like, 'It was unprofessional' and 'We can't do this.' You know, typical Cedric stuff."
"That man is so uptight," Quen said, shaking her head. "Like, chill out, BD. Let yourself be happy for once."
"Right?!" Billie exclaimed. "And then... we kissed."
The chaos erupted again, everyone shouting over each other.
"Wait, hold up!" Ava raised her hand, silencing the group. "Who made the first move? You or him?"
Billie hesitated, her cheeks flushing. "Um... he did."
"Atta boy!" Quen cheered, raising an imaginary glass.
Billie added quickly. "he leaned into it. And when it was over, he didn't say anything about it being a mistake this time."
"Progress!" Odessa declared, clapping her hands.
"Okay, so what's the plan now?" Zoe asked, leaning closer to her screen. "Are y'all gonna date or just keep making out in secret?"
"I don't know," Billie admitted, her voice softening. "I mean, I like him-a lot. But he's so closed off. I don't even know how to approach him or if he's just trying to be polite."
"Polite?!" Quenlin scoffed. "Girl, no man kisses you like that out of politeness. Trust me."
"She's right," Ava agreed. "He wouldn't be sticking around and breaking his own rules if he didn't care about you."
"Exactly!" Quen said. "And let's be real-he's got it bad for you. He just doesn't know how to admit it."
Billie smiled at their encouragement, but a small part of her was still unsure. "I don't know. What if I scare him off? I mean, this is Cedric we're talking about. He's like a brick wall half the time."
"Then knock that wall down, Billie!" Odessa said dramatically.
"Or climb over it. Whatever works," Quen added with a smirk.
Before Billie could respond, A soft knock at the door pulled her out of her thoughts. She looked up, startled. "Ima call yall back." She ended the call.
"Come in," she called hesitantly.
The door opened just enough for Cedric to peek his head through, looking uncharacteristically unsure of himself. "I remember you said you can't sleep alone," he said softly. "Does the offer still stand?"
Billie blinked, caught completely off guard. Her breath hitched when he stepped inside, the dim light from her bedside lamp illuminating him. He wasn't wearing his usual long sleeves or gloves. Instead, he was in a simple tank top and sweatpants, and for the first time, Billie saw him fully.
Tattoos ran across his arms, over his collarbone, and down to his fingers-beautiful, intricate designs that looked both deliberate and chaotic. Interspersed among them were scars, some faint and others jagged, marring his otherwise flawless skin. She tried not to stare, but it was impossible not to.
"Why?" she asked finally, her voice barely above a whisper.
Cedric shifted his weight from foot to foot, looking uncharacteristically vulnerable. "I... I want to talk," he admitted, his gaze flicking down to the floor like a nervous child caught in the act.
Billie sat up straighter, her heart pounding. "Okay," she said, patting the empty side of her bed.
He hesitated for a moment, then crossed the room and sat down beside her. The bed dipped under his weight, and she caught a whiff of his cologne-something dark and woodsy that made her head spin. He sat stiffly, his hands resting on his thighs as if he didn't know what to do with them.
For a long moment, neither of them said anything. The silence was heavy, charged with an energy that neither of them could name. Finally, Billie broke it.
"So... what do you want to talk about?" she asked, her voice soft.
Cedric exhaled sharply, running a hand over his buzzed hair. "I've been thinking a lot about... us," he said carefully.
"Us?" she repeated, her stomach flipping at the word.
"Yeah," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I've been trying to figure out what this is-what we're doing. And it's driving me mad because I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't... I don't want to."
Billie's heart was racing now. "What are you supposed to do?" she asked.
"Keep my distance," he said simply, finally turning to look at her. His green eyes were intense, locking onto hers in a way that made her feel like he could see straight through her. "But you make it impossible."
She swallowed hard, her cheeks flushing. "Why would you want to keep your distance?"
"Because I'm your bodyguard," he said, his tone firm. "And because I don't want to screw this up. You mean too much to me."
Her breath caught in her throat. "Cedric..."
"But the more time I spend with you, the harder it gets to pretend I don't feel something," he admitted, his voice cracking slightly. "And I don't know what to do with that."
Billie reached out instinctively, placing her hand over his. His skin was warm, his hand rough and calloused beneath hers. "You don't have to pretend," she said softly.
He looked down at her hand, then back up at her, his eyes searching hers. "It's not that simple," he said, his voice low. "You're Billie Eilish. You have the world at your feet. And me... I'm just a guy who was hired to protect you."
"You're not just anything," she said firmly. "And I don't care about all that. I care about you."
The vulnerability in her voice seemed to break something in him. Before she could say anything else, he reached up and cupped her face in his hand, his thumb brushing against her cheek.
"Do you have any idea what you're doing to me?" he whispered, his voice full of both frustration and awe.
Billie's heart was pounding so hard she was sure he could hear it. "I think I do," she said, her voice barely audible.
For a moment, they just looked at each other, the tension between them crackling like a live wire. Then, slowly, Cedric leaned in.
The kiss was soft at first, tentative, as if he was afraid of breaking her. But when Billie wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, he deepened it, his hand sliding into her hair. She melted into him, her fingers brushing against the tattoos on his shoulder, tracing the lines without thinking.
When they finally pulled apart, both of them were breathing hard. Cedric rested his forehead against hers, his eyes closed.
"This is a bad idea," he murmured.
"Maybe," Billie whispered back. "But it feels right."
He opened his eyes and looked at her, his expression softening. "You're going to be the death of me," he said with a small, rueful smile.
"Worth it," she teased, her lips curving into a smile of her own.
Cedric shook his head, chuckling softly. "You're impossible," he said again. But this time, there was no frustration in his voice-only affection.
Billie leaned back against the pillows, tugging him down with her. "Stay," she said simply.
For the first time, Cedric didn't argue. He lay beside her, pulling her into his arms. She nestled against his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.
Neither of them said anything after that. They didn't need to. For the first time, everything felt exactly as it should.
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