Lightning nods, leaving the bathroom door open. Doc grabs himself some boxers, pulling them on, before laying on the bed. he doesn't want to get dressed and then end up back in the shower to help the younger. he sighs happily, laying on the bed with his arms resting behind his head. he hums quietly to himself, listening carefully in case the younger shouts or falls. he can hear the younger get out of the shower once or twice to check on him, but then gets back in. the third time Doc chuckles and smiles slightly, tilting his head to look directly at Lightning.

"m'still okay kiddo." he promises.

"just checking." Lightning mumbles.

"I know. I love you." Doc murmurs, smiling.

"I love you too." Lightning says, heading back into the bathroom. the older man chuckles, sighs happily. Doc's eyes are closed and he's happy to relax here on the bed until Lightning lets him know he's ready to leave for coffee. he can hear the water shut up and just smiles, Lightning would let him know when he was dressed and done. he's unprepared for a sudden weight to straddle his waist and cold water to start dripping on the exposed part of his lower abdomen. his eyes open slowly and he looks up to the younger.

"can I help you?" Doc smirk softly.

"you could." he shrugs. Doc snorts, looking him over. he's wearing nothing but the towel around his waist and he's dripping wet from the shower he's just taken.

"I see you made it through your shower by yourself for the first time in a while. good job kiddo." Doc murmurs, pulling his arms from behind his head and gently gripping the youngers thighs. "you okay?" he ask. Lightning nods, more water dripping from his hair and onto Doc.

"yeah. just had to check a couple times and make sure you were okay." Lightning murmured. Doc nods, watching him with careful eyes. he knew what the younger was going for with this, but he was curious if he'd actually manage to go through with it this time. they had tried a couple times since the whole Chick incident, but the younger would end up remembering that they had been in Smokeys house and that was traumatic for him. Doc never blamed him or held it against him. it wasn't easy shooting and killing the person who had been stalking and trying to kill you for years. he seems more relaxed than normal, but Docs watching him carefully

"you alright now?" Doc asks cautiously.

"yeah. feeling a little cocky actually." Lightning says, Doc snorts softly, watching him.

"if you're looking for sex kid, you should've let me know before. I don't have lube on me." Doc murmurs, watching him.

"we didn't have lube the first time either." Lightning shrugs slightly.

"no, but you had a hell of a lot of adrenaline in your system then." Doc murmurs.

"I'll be fine." he assures. he's lucky Docs been so understanding, that sex wasn't a necessary or mandatory part of their relationship. he'd really been trying but usually with Doc leaning over him all he could remember was almost getting shot in the bar and being attacked by Chick. the first time after the whole incident, it had ended with them both covered in puke from Lightning having a severe panic attack. Doc had spent two days calming him down from that.

"you're not going to puke on me again are you?" Doc ask. Lightnings cheeks flushed.

"I'm going to try not to. we... we don't have to. I can just get off you." Lightning assures. Doc squeezes his thighs gently.

"I'll do whatever you want kid. if you want this, then fine, but if you're not sure you can handle it, thats fine too. I'm not going to rush your healing kid." Doc assures.

"I'm willing to try." Lightning murmurs. "I mean, if you are... I understand if you don't want to. its got to be frustrating to keep trying only to have me chicken out." Lightning mutters.

"I'm going to stop you right there kid. it's not frustrating and you're not chickening out. got it? panic attacks and anxiety attacks are serious medical issues that you have. you're not chickening out. you can't help it. it's not frustrating either. okay? I was alone for 50 plus years kid, okay? I'm fine with just curling up with you and watching movies or just holding you when we go to bed. whatever you need. I'm not worried about it. we take this at your pace and we don't rush your healing process or we're going to do more damage than good." Doc soothes gently. "now if you're ready to try again, absolutely, I'll try with you, but if you decide at any point that you can't do this, you tell me and it'll stop right then. got it? Doc ask. Lightning swallows slightly.

"okay. I think I can handle it. I think I've got this." Lightning murmurs.

"we can wait kid, we got all the time in the world-" Doc tries.

"I don't want to wait." Lightning pouts. Doc smiles slightly at him.

"okay, would you feel better if you stayed on top of me, instead of me on top?" Doc ask. Lightning flushes and groans, dropping his head onto Docs chest. Doc looks down at him. "kid?" Doc ask.

"no because I'd rather be under you," Lightning muttered, looking at him with his face bright red. Doc chuckles softly, smiling at him.

"okay kid. we'll take it easy." Doc assures, rolling them over and pinning him to the bed gently. Lightning flushes darker, watching him. "you good kid?" Doc ask. Lightning nods watching him. "if you can't handle this, tell me to stop." Doc murmurs.

"I'm fine Doc, I'm not breakable. I'm just fucking nervous okay? I'm fine. if I want you to stop I will. I promise." Lightning assures.

"alright. alright. I'm sorry." Doc mutters, leaning down and kissing him deeply. the younger groans quietly. the youngers face is bright red and he's left with swollen lips and harder than he thought possible as Doc kisses from his jaw down his neck, hands wondering over his thighs carefully. he's being cautious, trying not to set the younger off. "you okay?" Doc murmurs, kissing the younger neck.

"yeah I'm good. no sighs of an anxiety attack." Lightning said, pulling him into a deep kiss. Doc holds him tightly, groaning softly as the younger carefully throws his right leg around Docs waist, making sure not to hit his wounded hip. Lightning reaches up and wraps his arms around the older and pulling him down into a kiss. Doc goes easily. he doesn't want to upset the younger, or worse set him off in a panic attack. he pulls back after a moment, looking at the younger.

"hey, you okay?" Doc murmurs. Lightning lets out a shaky breath, looking up at him with wide blue eyes.

"yeah." he mumbles. "I'm fine. you're moving at the pace of a snail." Lightning complains. Doc chuckles softly.

"yeah I am, but you're not having a panic attack are you?" Doc ask, rising an amused eye brow.

"I'm trying not to." Lightning admits. Doc pulls back immediately.

"kid you shouldn't have to force yourself to be okay with this." Doc says.

"oh yeah? I forced myself to be okay with everything else, so why not this? you encouraged me to do it with other things." he frowns.

"yeah that stuffs different, maybe not to you, but to me it is." Doc says getting up. Lightning sits up watching him, carefully pulling the towel over him to cover himself.

"where are you going?" Lightning ask.

"to get dressed." Doc said.

"no c'mon Doc. I'm not panicking." Lightning pouts. "and I'm never going to get better if we just give up trying completely." he adds. Doc frowns looking over at the younger. "my heart rate hasn't even gone up." he says. Doc sighs slightly.

"find a way for us to keep an eye on your heart rate and we'll go from there." Doc says, arms crossed over his chest.

"thats easy. just let me grab my fitbit." Lightning says getting up from the bed. Doc sits down on the edge of the bed, watching the younger go through his bags. he puts on the watch and plays with it for a minute, before showing it to Doc. "see?" he asks. Doc grabs his arm and pulls back slightly until his eyes focus on the watch.

"yeah I see." he says.

"look I can even set it to go off at a certain heart rate." Lightning says.

"show me and I'll set it." Doc says. Lightning talks him through it carefully.

"and boom, now we can keep an eye on my heart rate so you know I'm not lying to you." Lightning said. "okay now?" he asks. Doc nods.

"okay." he agrees. he's almost immediately tackled backwards in a kiss. deciding to just give in he wraps his arms around the younger, gripping the youngers ass hard and groans as the younger grinds against him.

"fuck." Lightning mutters, pulling back to look at Doc, flushing. he pins the younger to the bed, Docs eyes glance over at Lightnings watch carefully monitoring his heartbeat a moment, before diving back down to kiss the youngers neck.

"answer me a question here kid," Doc murmurs, between sucking dark hickies onto the youngers neck.

"e-easy on the marks. I have a race tomorrow." Lightning flushes, dropping his head back. "whats your question?" he asks.

"what is it that sets you off?" Doc murmurs.

"do we have to talk about this now?" Lightning asks, pushing the older back a bit.

"yeah we do." Doc ask. "I need to know what I can and can't do without giving you a panic attack." Doc murmurs, watching him.

"I-I dunno. I mean just you kinda being over it. it just kinda reminds me. of hiding under that bar table." Lightning mutters. Doc seems to be thinking a moment before kissing the younger and smiles.

"alright." Doc murmurs.

"does that mean we're going to stop until you can figure something out?" he flushes. Doc chuckles softly.

"I already have figured something out. I'll take care of you. just lay there." Doc chuckles softly, kissing him deeply. Lightning kisses back.

"y-yeah? wanna share?" Lightning ask as Doc kisses down his chest.

"you'll find out in a minute baby." Doc chuckles softly. he kisses down the already heaving plane of the youngers stomach. "but you'll enjoy it. promise." Doc assures softly.

"yeah but what are you-" Lightning ask, cutting himself off with a low moan. his face is red from his cheeks to his ears and all the way down his neck. of all the things he'd been thinking, he certainly hadn't thought in a million years that Doc would take his length into his hand before swallowing him down with ease, which isn't hard to do. he's not the biggest guy on the planet, but he is thick, pink, and long enough to hit the back of Docs throat without much effort. "oh fuck!" Lightning blushes darkly, back arched. he doesn't feel panicky, but he glances at his watch quickly just in case. the moment Doc presses his tongue to the underside, creating a tight suction and hollowing his cheeks, Lightnings scrambling for purchase, fisting his hand into Docs hair. he moans, trying not to buck his hips. Docs pinning his thigh to the bed with one of his broad hands, bobbing his head and groaning quietly. Doc gathers the froth of spit from the thick and course hair surrounding the youngers length, rubbing his fingers against the tight pucker of the youngers hole. he's not sure how the younger would react, but pushes his fingers in anyway. Lightning must love it cause he's throwing his head back and moaning Docs name appreciatively. Doc pulls back after a moment and looks up at the younger. he watches carefully how the youngers flushed, before glancing over at the watch before looking back at him.

"doing okay kid?" Doc murmurs. Lightning nods quickly, breathing heavily. he can't think enough to form words. his lifts his head to look down at Doc panting, trying to find his voice.

"f-fuck. yeah." Lightning pants.

"hows your heart rate?" Doc murmurs.

"forget my heart rate, if you don't fuck me, I'm gonna go insane." he mutters. Doc should say no and go back to sucking the younger off, but decides to take the risk and pulls his fingers out of the younger, then crawls over him. he kicks his boxers off into the floor, then kisses him roughly while gripping one of the youngers hips. he lines himself up.

"try to keep quiet." Doc murmurs pulling back.

"I have been, can't help it." Lightning mutters, breathless from the kiss. he pulls the older down and kisses him hard, digging his nails hard into his back as Doc pushes into him. carefully, inch by inch until he's fully seated inside the younger and he stops, watching him. his eyes are clenched shut and Docs positive there's probably blood pouring from his back where the younger is digging his nails into. Doc reaches up and gently cups his cheek.

"hey baby, Monty, you okay?" Doc ask. he can feel the youngers heart beat thundering in his chest and looks over at the watch, tapping it with his free hand so he can see it. it's not dangerously fast, but it is faster than Doc would like, even for their current activities. "Monty, look at me." Doc murmurs, sitting up some. Lightning takes a moment but slowly looks up at Doc. "hey, you okay?" he asks softly. Lightning swallows slightly and nods.

"y-yeah. m'okay." he says after a moment.

"do you need a moment?" Doc ask, gently rubbing his cheek gently with his thumb. Lightning nods after a moment.

"i-is that okay?" he asks, looking up hesitantly.

"yeah. just relax kid, unless you're going to puke. then you need to tell me so I can get out of the way." Doc assures again.

"m'sorry." Lightning manages. Doc shakes his head and looks at the youngers watch.

"don't be kiddo. there is never a moment too late for you to tell me you need a minute or you need to stop. ever." Doc assures. "don't care what we're doing. tell me to stop because you can't handle it at the moment or you need a few minutes to get yourself together, and I will." Doc adds, kissing his cheek. Lightning takes in a deep shaky breath. "hey you're here with me in California kid. we're okay. you are okay. it's okay." Doc soothes softly.

"I-I know. I'm okay I just... I'm okay." Lightning says after a few minutes. he lets out a small sigh and looks up at Doc. "m'okay. you're good." he murmurs.

"why don't we just wait a minute or two." he says softly. "we're in no hurry. I just want to give you extra time, make sure you're really okay." he soothes. Lightning nods slightly.

"I love you thanks for being understanding and taking care of me." Lightning mumbles. Doc smiles and chuckles softly.

"kid, I'd do just about anything if you ask me, giving you a couple minutes to get yourself together is really nothing." Doc assures. he kisses the younger carefully. he taps the youngers watch gently. "your heart rates down, you okay?" Doc ask softly. Lightning nods looking up at him.

"yeah. I'm good." he murmurs, pulling him closer. Doc nods slightly gently griping one of his hip, the other snaking up under his younger and into his hair. he's careful with his pace, keeping a watchful eye on him. Doc bends down and bites onto the younger collar bone gently. "fuck!" Lightning moans, arching his back and pulling Doc closer.

"just keep your eyes on me baby." Doc murmurs softly, kissing him deeply. Lightnings got his legs wrapped tightly around Docs waist and his hands tangled in the holds hair. Doc pulls his hand off the youngers hip and wraps it around his length, stroking him in time with his thrusts. he decides to test his theory from earlier and pulls his hair hard. Lightnings face is bright red and moans loudly, bucking against the older man. Doc quickly cuts his moan off with a hard kiss, thinking silently to himself that apparently his quiet and Lightnings quiet were too totally different things. in minutes Lightning is clamped down around him, whole body tensing up as he cries out. it immediately sets Doc off. the two go still and quiet, Doc dropping his forehead onto Lightnings chest, flushing. the only sound in the room both of their panting as they try to get themselves under control. "that was not quiet." Doc mutters after a few minutes. Lightning runs a hand down his face and looks down at Doc, who still has his head on Lightnings chest.