Lora tiptoed quickly out of the kids' room, worried that the sound of her vibrating phone will wake up Aiden and Siena.

It hadn't been easy getting them to sleep tonight. They had questions she couldn't answer. Aiden was worried. Siena was curious. Together, they were a calamity. Lora felt horrible. Siena wanted to see her father that very instant and Lora had to explain why children weren't allowed in the ICU. Aiden tried to help her. He put on a brave face for his little sister and cuddled her to sleep.

Once in her own bedroom, Lora saw her brother's name on the screen before answering.

"Hey, Sis," Wayne said, his voice so low it was almost a whisper. "Ma told us about Jonathan."

She sighed heavily. "He's not good, Wayne. He's in the ICU, completely out of it. I don't think he'll be out of there any time soon."

There was a long pause before he spoke. "What did the doctor tell you?"

The doctor.

The doctor told her a lot of things but very few were about Jonathan. His gesture of taking her for coffee had been the nicest, simplest thing anyone had done for her in a long time. She was usually the one who took care of people and couldn't really remember the last time someone had taken care of her.

They went to a swanky café which had special intricate coffees and a surprisingly varied menu. She was hungrier than she thought and the minute she bit into her chicken wrap, she let out a genuine groan of pleasure, causing Dr Shaw to smirk so mischievously it made her cheeks go red.

They talked about everything. Everything that had nothing to do with hospitals. Music. Books. Aiden and Siena. Politics. He laughed at her passionate debates and she told him off. Religion. He raised a brow at her strong beliefs. She left her money on the table and left him sitting there only to remember they had come with his car. He came out a few minutes later, a cocky, dimpled smile on his face. "Come on, Lora. I'll take you home."

She wanted him to take her back to her car but they were closer to her house. He promised he'll pick her up first thing and take her to the hospital himself the next day. Soon afterwards, Jess and Krista came over with an anxious Aiden and Siena. She made Jess's favourite. Bolognese. Lora herself didn't eat. She wasn't hungry. She felt uneasy and no one questioned her. Her husband had just been admitted to the ICU, after all.

But her mind was elsewhere, all the time scurrying off to vast, green eyes and a lopsided, dimpled smile.

Lora shook her head free of him. It was just a crazy day from start to finish. Tomorrow, things will go back to normal. Dr Shaw will pick her up and help her get into the ICU. She'll spend the day next to Jonathan, holding his hand, caring for him and praying for him and then she'll come home. She will go through his work emails. Settle the payments. Push items that needed to be sold. Jona would kill her if she let his business go south. He worked so hard to set it up so that they can be comfortable. Jess and Krista won't want for anything thanks to him. Neither will Aiden and Siena. And neither will she. All she needed was a good, dreamless sleep.

#

The door of room number seventeen opened again at five p.m. on the dot.

"Did you eat?" Dr Shaw asked as he checked Jona's monitor.

A million thoughts raced through Lora's head. What was he doing here? Why was he so obsessed with her eating habits?

And yet she also felt something warm glow inside her chest, the unease that seemed to make her jumpy all day settling ever so slightly.

As she looked up at him, she realised he seemed upset. His jaw was tight, his fingers trembling slightly as he flipped the charts on Jona's bed. Lora's eyes wandered down his arms.

"Lora!"

She shook her head at the sound of his voice.

"His vitals are good," Lora started. Her throat was dry. She needed to get a grip on herself. She wasn't a teenager with raging hormones. She was a married woman. Married with children. "He didn't have another episode but they started him on IV Sodium Valproate. They increased his drip because his output was low and I was worried he was dehydrated. The last time he was here his renal profile was all over the place."

"Did you eat?" he asked again, ignoring every word she just said.

"No," she said after a while, bracing herself for his reaction.

"Me neither. Let's go."

"Dr Shaw, you really don't have to. I appreciate you coming over to check on Jonathan even though he's not your patient while he's in here but-"

"I'm not worried about Jonathan," he interrupted her speech. He dropped the notes from his hand and fixed his vibrant eyes on her. "He's stable. He's in good hands. He'll wake up when he's ready. It's you I'm worried about."

His reply knocked the wind out of her and her heart sped irrationally. "Why?"

He eyed her for a moment before shooting her a wink and flashing her his roguish smile. "Because you don't eat."

Lora couldn't help but smile back at his cheeky reply. She blushed like a little girl and her gaze dropped to the floor.

"Alright," she nodded and walked out of the room.

They walked to his car in silence. He drove to the same café which was practically empty save for a young couple at the back and a few students who appeared to be working on a school project. They placed their order and once again, they ate as though they had been deprived of food for days.

"Do you miss it?" he asked Lora when he was sure she had eaten every bite of her food.

"Miss what?" she asked back, wiping her mouth with a napkin.

"Nursing. I know you're probably sick of hospitals given your situation, but do you ever wish you were still practising?"

Lora gave him a tight smile. This was not something she talked about often.

"Sometimes," was all she said.

He nodded slowly, considering her answer, stripping it bare in search of the truth. "I can tell. You're amazing with Jonathan."

Lora looked away from him. She didn't want him to see the ache in her heart. But he went on.

"I can see why Mike and Cara speak so highly of you. They say you're the best nurse they ever worked with."

"That's very nice of them," Lora answered, not knowing what else to say.

Dr Shaw gave her an understanding smile and turned to his coffee, which by now, Lora was certain had gone cold. He drank it without flinching. He was a doctor after all. He was used to cold cups of coffee, as was every other health professional. 'It's a sin to waste caffeine,' Cara used to say when downing a cup she'd prepared hours before.

"There are days when I just want to put on my uniform and never take it off," Lora found herself saying. "I see the nurses coming in and out of Jonathan's room and... and I'd give anything to be able to help them. Not just with Jona, but with the other patients as well. I'm just sitting there all day and they are all so busy. My hands are itching to do something. I guess I've been missing it a lot more lately."

Lora felt the emotions build up in her heart. She had never admitted this before now, but she felt Dr Shaw would understand. "I remember this one time," she continued, "Cara and I had this particularly busy night shift. This lady had just had a burr hole done and she wouldn't stop bleeding. I had to get the surgeon to come from home because the MO on-call wouldn't touch her. Mr Zahara sutured her again in the room and I had to act as his assistant. We found the bleeder and stitched it up. Just when we settled her and washed her hair and everything, the guy next to her went into cardiac arrest. He was forty-five and there was literally nothing wrong with him. He'd been admitted for observation after a slight head injury. We spent over fifty minutes resuscitating him. It was crazy. Then they didn't have a vacant bed in the ICU-"

"You brought him back?" Dr Shaw interrupted completely flabbergasted.

"Yes. He and his family came back to thank us a few weeks later. I couldn't believe he didn't have any lasting damage! Miracles do happen, you see?"

Dr Shaw gave Lora a warm smile. "Yes, they're called good nurses and doctors. Do you want another coffee?"

Lora nodded. She checked her phone to check to see if she had any texts from Jess. She had volunteered to pick up her brother and sister from school again but today they were going to sleep at her flat. She figured it was best for them as they were so distraught this morning knowing that Lora was going to see their dad and they couldn't.

Lora bit her lip and hid behind her hair that had fallen over her face again.

"Why did you stop?" Dr Shaw asked, bringing her back to the table.

Her breath hitched. "I wanted to focus on my family," she said simply.

But the intuitive doctor saw right through her. "I'm sure there is some truth to that," he smiled.

Lora knew his reply should have angered her but she also knew there was no ill meaning behind his words. On the contrary, she saw the corner of his eyes crinkle and saw the humour in them. "It's complicated," she offered.

He stared at her for the longest time, clenching his fists to stop himself from lifting her face up towards him. He fought the urge to tell her that it wasn't complicated. It was very simple. But that would have been inappropriate so instead, he said, "You're welcome back anytime. Anyone would be lucky to have you, Lora."

Tears stung at the back of her eyes. Lora wasn't sure Dr Owen Shaw was talking about work anymore, but she was certain of one thing. He meant it.

#

That night, Lora couldn't sleep. Her mind kept wandering off to what Dr Shaw had told her, or rather what he hadn't. He wasn't the only one who could read people. She saw his disappointment, the pity, as he analysed her loss like it was a passage from the Holy Scripture.

What he didn't understand, what she couldn't tell him, was that she had no choice. She loved her profession but she loved her family more. And there was no way she could have both. Not when it was such a threat to Jona every day. Not when she saw the hurt in his eyes as she prepared her uniform for the next day, crisp and white and proud.

"Don't go," he'd tell her. "You don't need to work. I make enough money."

"It's not about the money," she would answer. "It's about giving something back to the community."

At this point, he would come close to her, nibbling on her ear, or her neck, begging her to give something back to him instead. And she would reproach him for being so vulgar. Yes, they were married, but they weren't animals. They were above primal instincts.

But then, when she got back he would be cold towards her. He would accuse her of doing unthinkable things. Unimaginable things.

We had a CPR. An admission at the last minute. I had to transfer a patient to the ICU, to theatre...

They were all excuses to him. He never believed her. All he knew was that his wife was late after a twelve-hour shift and only God knew why.

"Who is he?" he asked more often than she cared to remember. Once, Lora was so offended she threw her nursing scissors at him without thinking. He caught them and wedged them into the oak surface of the dining table, roaring with rage.

"Are you mad?" she yelled knowing exactly how much that table cost. He had told her once as he made love to her on it at the start of their marriage, back when his tactic was to impress her, not scare her.

"Yes, you bitch, I'm mad because my ungrateful wife is cheating on me! Just because you're younger than me, don't you dare think you can make a fool of me!"

"Why? Why would I cheat on you? And so what if I'm younger? It didn't bother me when I married you and it doesn't bother me now!"

It hurt. It hurt that he would call her something so vile and it hurt knowing that he thought of her that way. She always felt inferior to him. He was a beautiful man. He was smart, mature, different from any boy she'd ever dated, not that there were a lot of boys before Jonathan. But he made her feel real. Like a real woman, with a real life. She had no idea what he saw in her or why he chose her. He could have had any other woman, but he felt differently.

All he saw was that she was a young, desirable woman who would someday catch the eye of someone her age. He couldn't fathom that she would never return any advances.

"I'm not an idiot, Lora. Don't ever, for one second think that I won't know if you're screwing me over."

And then he left, slamming the door, leaving her seething.

Lora twisted and turned in bed as she remembered how that night, a young Jess came crawling into her lap while she was waiting for Jona to come back home, praying that no harm would come to him.

"Don't leave us, Aunt Lora," she told her.

Lora remembered wrapping her arms around the little girl and rocking her back and forth. "Why would I leave you, baby?"

"I heard you fighting with Daddy."

Lora's heart broke. All she ever wanted was for the girls to feel safe and loved and supported at all times. And yet here she was, having to console the shaking girl, worried that once again she will end up without a mother.

"I will never leave you and Krista. I'm here for you. I love you."

And she meant every word. She'd do anything for those little girls.

The next morning, Lora woke up with Jona's arm around her waist. As she got ready for work, he came up from behind her and kissed her neck. His hands wandered over her belly and Lora let him. He cupped her breasts as he pressed her to him and Lora moved her head sideways to give him access to her throat. He slid down her white cotton panties and she parted her legs for him.

He turned her around and lifted her onto the vanity, hooking her legs around his waist as he slid inside her with one swift movement. His eyes were dark, his movements were rough, his grip on her tight and possessive. She was his and only his and she would never forget it. "I need you, Lora," he told her. His voice was vulnerable, rugged. "I need my wife."

Her hands gripped the edge of the hard wood as her eyes turned to the ceiling to stop the tears from falling. She thought of Jess and Krista and how much they depended on her. She thought of Hannah and how she had struggled in search of more. She thought of the vow she made to Jonathan in front of God.

"Okay," she panted. "Okay."

That day she walked straight into Mike's office and handed in her resignation.

I'm sure there is some truth to that, his voice echoed over and over in her head.