Lora had been waiting outside the ICU for over an hour. A nurse came out to speak with her soon after she rang the bell. She said they had managed to stabilize Jonathan but the doctors were still with him. She wished she knew exactly what they were doing and saying and planning but the nurse wouldn't let her in until it was visiting hours. She did promise to keep her informed of any changes though. Nobody came out again. Clearly, there weren't any changes.

Lora understood. She knew ICU policies were strictly adhered to. She had long since gone through three cups of cheap coffee her and her fingers were shaking slightly as they gripped the rosary beads.

'We had to transfer him, honey,' Cara told her in the gentlest of voices when she called her in the early morning. 'He wouldn't stop convulsing.'

Thirty minutes. Three tubes of Valium.

What happened? What triggered the seizure? He never had one in his life. Did they take a CT? Did he have swelling in his brain again? He had swelling once, after the accident. It was so bad they instantly knew it would leave permanent damage. Was it fever? Was it an infection? Her brain was on overdrive. The nurse in her was itching to be there with them. To do her part.

"Aunt Lora?"

Jess's voice came to her from far away. She sounded frightened. Lora blinked multiple times until her eyes focused on the young woman running towards her through the empty corridor, an anxious-looking James tailing her.

"We're so sorry we took so long. We were in the middle of class. Are you okay?"

Lora threw her arms around her and held her tight, hoping to absorb her distress. "It's okay. We're not allowed inside for another forty minutes. Are you missing lectures right now?"

Jess shook her head and James put his arm reassuringly around her shoulders. Lora gave them a small smile.

"Did you find out anything else, Mrs Scicluna?" James asked in his usual polite manner.

"No. And you know you can call me Lora, James." She almost hated how nice he was. Turning back to Jess, she asked, "Did you call Krista?"

"Yes," Jess answered. "I promised to call her again as soon as we know anything else. She has her practice sessions today, so she'll come over if she needs to. She should be somewhere around here anyway."

"Well, there's no point in her coming now, I guess."

Lora ran her fingers nervously through her hair before tucking her wispy locks safely behind her ears. She took in a deep breath and shuddered. Her arms automatically crossed her chest and her fingernails shot straight between her teeth.

"What?" the anxious woman demanded as she saw Jess and James staring at her, eyebrows raised.

"You look a mess, Aunt Lora," Jess piped out. "Are you sure you're okay? Are you eating enough?"

Lora almost laughed derisively. A nineteen-year-old girl was worried about her well-being. She may have moved out and was living independently but Lora was still the adult here.

"I'm fine, Jess, thank you," she replied haughtily.

But Jess, who owned a face that was incapable of lying, did not believe her. "You look like you've forgotten how to dress! Your hair is a cry for help and there is no amount of concealer that can cover the circles under your eyes."

"Jess!"

"I'm not trying to be hurtful," she went on. "I'm just worried you're not taking care of yourself."

Lora pursed her lips. She was offended. Tired. Couldn't Jess be more considerate with her words? And yet, she knew the girl was right. "I'm fine. I left in a rush this morning to get Aiden and Siena to school on time and then I got the call from the hospital. I came straight here."

Jess chewed on her tongue for a moment. She hated seeing Lora like this. She deserved so much better.

"Do you want us to go get you some breakfast?" she offered.

"I'll eat something later, I promise. I just want to make sure they find me here if they need to speak with me."

"You used to be a nurse. Don't you know anyone who can smuggle you in?" Jess tried hopefully, but her face fell seeing the expression on Lora's face.

"Of course, she does!"

The three of them turned around to the deep, curt voice and found a smiling Dr Shaw striding towards them, the dimple in his left cheek shamelessly displayed. He was in his theatre gear with a white lab coat over it. Lora should have heaved a sigh of relief. There he was, an angel sent from Heaven to give them the information they needed. And yet, her cheeks burned red, her vision turned white and her thoughts went to the dark corners of the dream she had last night.

Jessica on the other hand all but ran to him and exclaimed, "Dr Shaw! My father had-"

"A seizure," he finished the sentence for her. "Yes, I know. I just spoke to the intensivist. Come with me."

They gaped at him momentarily before following him through the ICU doors, which he opened using his access card. When he reached the nursing station, he gave Jona's name to a stern-looking nurse and in turn, she wordlessly handed him a paper file and pointed towards room seventeen.

Lora hung back a little but Dr Shaw, misinterpreting her anxiety, put a firm hand on her back as he guided her towards her husband's room. She felt his fingers burn a hole through her clothes and sear her skin. But then her eyes landed on the man lying in the hospital bed and she couldn't feel anything anymore.

Jonathan was unrecognisable. She wouldn't have believed it was him had she not seen him in this state before. His startling blue eyes were half-closed, mouth open to accommodate a thick tube going down his throat. His chest was rising and falling slowly in keeping with the beeps of the machines surrounding him. Lora's eyes found the cardiac monitor. She read through his vitals and analysed his ECG. His heartbeat was steady, breaths constant, oxygen levels slightly lower than usual but still acceptable. But here he was again. Unconscious, in an ICU bed, unable to move or speak or follow what is going on around him.

Lora's hands flew to her mouth as a soft whimper escaped her lips. "Oh, Jona..."

Jess came to her side and wrapped an arm around her waist. "He'll be okay, Aunt Lora."

The sound of rustling papers diverted Lora's attention to Dr Shaw, who was examining Jonathan's notes. "They had to sedate him completely. He was in status epilepticus and it was the only way to revert it. They took a CT. I saw the scan before I came here. There may be a bit of brain damage, but his intensivist and the radiologist think it's reversible."

Jess and Lora listened attentively while James stood back in the corner of the room. Lora swallowed her sobs, guilt and shame flooding her lungs, suffocating her. This wasn't the time to be emotional. This was the time to be practical. "Do we know what triggered it?"

Dr Shaw shook his head. "First onset. He had no new head injuries, no signs of swelling or infection. They took blood cultures already and sent them to the lab just in case. We're fairly sure the abnormalities noted in the scan were caused by the seizure, not the other way round."

Lora slowly absorbed the information being given to her and felt her racing brain slow down. "Thank you," she said after a while.

Dr Shaw gave her a sympathetic smile and put a hand on her shoulder. "I need to get back to the theatre, but you stay here as long as you want. I'll sign a permission slip for you and leave it at the nurses' desk so you can come and go as you need. I'll be back later. If you need anything, here's my number."

"Thank you, doctor," Jess mumbled, her eyes following him out of the room.

Lora dropped heavily into the armchair next to the bed and stared into nothingness for a few good minutes. She felt Jess's eyes on her.

"Dr Shaw is really nice, isn't he?"

Lora felt her insides twist uncomfortably. Jess was always too observant for her own good.

"Yes," she answered as neutrally as she could.

Jess eyed her for another half a second before turning to look at her father, her expression unreadable. Lora wondered what she was thinking. The last time the two of them spoke, they had argued again and Jess had left without saying goodbye.

Her heart broke a little. She knew what it was like not to have the chance to make peace with someone you love. To leave things unfinished. Please, God, Lora prayed. Please, bring him back to her so they can work out their differences. Please, give them that chance.

"I have another lecture in half an hour," Jess sighed after a while.

James walked up to her and massaged her shoulders gently. "It's alright. I can cover for you and give you my notes."

"No," Lora protested. "Go. I'll be fine and if your dad's sedated, he won't wake any time soon. How about you two and Krista come over later? I'll cook something nice."

Jess looked at James who shrugged back. "Yeah, okay. Do you need us to get you anything? Maybe pick up Aiden and Siena from school? That will give you a bit more time here. Then we'll come by around supper time."

Lora's face lit up. She didn't like to bother the girls, but she couldn't deny it would be a great help. "Really? If it's no trouble I would be very grateful."

A wide grin split across Jess's face. "Aunt Lora, it's the least we can do. Besides, they're my baby brother and sister and the most perfect kids. It's no trouble."

The two women hugged before Jess and James left the room and Lora sunk back into the uncomfortable armchair.

#

After what felt like hours of ceaseless beeping and nurses coming in to check on Jona and scribbling something in his notes, the door opened and a familiar pair of green eyes met hers.

Lora stood up to greet Dr Shaw. He wasn't in his scrubs anymore. His light brown curls glistened under the soft light and his face was clean-shaven. Lora's insides squirmed as once again, her mind flashed images of her fingers getting lost in those curls and tugging gently. She pursed her lips together fearing that a moan might escape them just at the thought.

It wasn't real, she thought to herself pushing the images to the back of her mind and suppressing the sudden burn in her core.

"Hey, Lora. Is everything okay?" Dr Shaw asked in his low, easy voice. His eyes went briefly to Jonathan's monitor and then settled on her. "Did you eat anything?"

She hadn't so much as had a glass of water.

He didn't wait for her to answer. "Come on. You need caffeine and food."

She stared back at him, her brain frozen, as he held the door open for her. She grabbed her bag and walked out slowly, aware of him following close behind.

"It's okay, Dr Shaw, I'll grab something on my way home," she said turning to him when they reached the ICU doors.

"No," he replied pushing them open and guiding her out gently.

"What do you mean no?"

"I don't trust you. You won't eat." He turned into the staff parking lot, pulling a set of keys out of his pocket, keeping his other hand firmly on her back until he stopped in front of a white Range Rover.

Her jaw almost dropped. This was not the car she expected him to have at all. She imagined him in a sports car. Something fun and impractical. Nothing as sensible as a Range Rover.

She stared at him as he opened the passenger door expectantly. "Go on. Get in."

"Dr Shaw, I don't think-"

"In!" he repeated. 

There was humour in his eyes and she pushed the rest of her sentence out of her head. They weren't doing anything wrong after all. This wasn't her dream. She had control now.