"Siena, don't push your brother!" Lora shouted, but her voice got lost in the wind. Carmen chuckled beside her.

"Let them play. If they fall, they'll fall in the sand. They won't get hurt."

Lora turned to her mother in disbelief. "What did we just go to mass for, then? So they don't learn the values of love and kindness?"

"We went to mass to pray for your husband and for Janet and Wayne and for you!" the wise mother replied shaking her head. "Love and kindness they learn from their family, not from the priest."

Lora looked at her feet, toes lodged in the wet sand as the foamy waters glided towards them then got dragged back by the tide. The sun was setting over the horizon and the sky was a beautiful shade of gold. This was her favourite part of the day. It was the time when she reflected, when she sat down and adjudicated her actions and reactions and thought about how tomorrow she can be better.

She heard Aiden and Siena laughing behind her and she felt the inexplicable joy flood her heart. Her mother was right. She learned about values from the Holy Scripture, but she absorbed them and practised them because of her family.

"Thank you," she told her softly. Carmen turned to her daughter questioningly. "They needed this. It feels like we're practically living at the hospital again. I don't mind, to be honest, but the kids miss this. Running around in the sun, playing, chasing each other. I forget how hard it can be for them sometimes. I wish I can give them more, you know?"

Carmen put her hand on Lora's knee, squeezing it a little until Lora turned her brown eyes on her. "It's not easy to raise a family. It's not easy for anyone let alone for someone with so much on their plate. Be patient and have faith. God does not give us more than we can carry."

Lora stared at the horizon as her mother's eyes fell to her lap. She heard it too. The judgement. The implications of her words. That's why she stopped talking abruptly.

"I'm sorry," Carmen whispered. "I didn't mean..."

"Yes, you did," Lora said cutting her apology short. There was no need for it. She was right. She herself had told her sister the same thing just two days before Jonathan called them telling them he found Hannah in a pool of her own blood in the bathtub.

And yet, as true as those words were, not a sunset had gone by since then that Lora hadn't wondered if only she'd been a bit more careful with her words, maybe if she'd been more sensitive to her sister's woes rather than assuming that she was being ungrateful, maybe then her sister would still be alive. She would still be the one married to Jonathan. Jessica and Krista would still have their mother. They wouldn't be living on their own. Their souls would be safe.

Jonathan wouldn't have had to marry her. He probably wouldn't have gotten into that horrible car crash either. Everything would have been different if, maybe when Hannah confided in her and told her she wasn't happy, she'd been more empathetic instead of dismissing her with an offhand 'Have faith, God is with you.'

No. God does not give us more than we can carry. But some people's loads are lighter for a reason. To help others. To help carry the heavier load of our brothers and sisters and that is where we fail Him. That is where Lora failed Him.

#

Lora gently kicked the door open, the heavy bags she was hugging to her chest almost causing her to lose her balance. Aiden was quick to hold the door open as Siena whizzed past them both, eager to see her father after two whole days.

"Daddy, you're on the chair!" she squealed in excitement, all but leaping onto his lap.

Jonathan opened his arms wide for his little princess and wrapped them around her as she dangled from his neck. He winced slightly but helped her climb onto him gently.

"Wow, Jona, you look great!" Lora gasped, pleased at the sight of his healthy pallor and the mere fact that the staff had finally succeeded in getting him out of bed. He had been fainting every time they tried to lift him into a standing position.

She set the bags on the cabinet and took in her husband's broad smile and bright face. The IV was out. The catheter was out. He was sitting upright in the armchair, supported by pillows on both sides and a pelvic harness was wrapped around his hips to prevent him from sliding off. Then she saw the wicked glint in his eyes.

"Damn right, I do!" Jona snarled. "You see? I did it. I'm out of that cage even though you said I couldn't do it."

Lora's face clouded over and her pink lips formed a scowl. "I never said that, Jona."

"Not in so many words but that is what you thought, right? It's what you wanted. 'That's enough, Jona. You're not ready, Jona. You're going to faint again, Jona.' You keep trying to discourage me but you know what? It only fuels me more. You can't get rid of me that easily!"

The hurt these words caused Lora was inexplicable. Like knives being twisted in her gut but worse. She felt the anger bubble inside her. She was sick of his unfounded accusations. Sick of his unjustified taunts. "Stop it, Jona, we are not having this argument again. I do not want to be rid of you! I want to go back home! I want you to follow the advice of the staff so that you don't do any more damage to your spine. When I tell you not to push it, when I say that you're not ready, it is for your own good!"

"Spare me the martyr act, Mother Theresa! You expect me to believe that crap?" the man spat back, furious at her for talking back to him.

"Do whatever you want. It's the truth! I'm here, aren't I? Every day I'm here, doing whatever it is that you need to get better, to be more comfortable, to keep you company. Whatever you need, Jona, I'm doing it every single day!"

Jona glared back at her, doubt filling his eyes. Doubt... not defeat. Siena's eyes, so much like her father's, were darting back and forth between her parents.

"I always win, Lora," Jona snarled finally in a low, menacing voice that made Lora feel sick.

"You win, I win," Lora whispered back, dread filling her stomach. She knew his words held more meaning than he was letting on. They were married. They were one. That was fact. Yet at this moment, they both knew that was so far away from the truth.

He looked away and she closed her eyes. Forgive him, she prayed. Help me to forgive him. Give me the strength, the light to understand what I have to do.

She turned around and found Aiden still at the door tiring his fingers, pretending to be oblivious to the scene that just played out in front of him.

They did it again. They fought in front of the children. She knew the effect it had on them even though they didn't show it, especially Aiden who kept everything bottled up. This was an unnecessary burden for them. A cross they need not bear.

"Come in, Aiden. Put your things down," Lora ordered gently. "Why don't you and Siena go play in the kitchenette? Here, I brought you your Lego set. Help your sister. And don't steal any biscuits from the jar, Siena, they're not good for you."

Aiden nodded and Siena slid off Jona's lap and raced her brother out of the room.

Before Lora could even look at her husband, Karl and Vico walked in.

"Hey, Lora," Karl greeted with a broad grin. "See? I told you it was only a matter of time. Our big guy is doing great. Twenty-five minutes he's been in that chair!"

"I can see that," Lora smiled back.

Over the past few days, she had grown to like Karl and Vico. They were younger, stricter and more muscular than Sam and Tony but that turned out to be a good thing. After that first traumatic session, Lora apologised and asked them to be patient with her husband. But no explanations were needed. The two men were very professional and they were even nice enough to say that they faced this sort of resistance all the time, which was probably not a complete lie.

She remembered her days as a nurse and she knew how real abuse on the caring staff was. Relatives and patients often needed a scapegoat to pin their misfortunes on. It was a coping strategy. It was part of the job, she would often tell herself. Yet now that she was on the other end of the stick, she felt differently. The caring staff were not at fault. They tried their best and sometimes, that was just not enough, unfortunately. But that was no reason for them to shoulder the burdens of the sick or their loved ones. Jonathan believed otherwise and his behaviour only took away from the good that they were doing.

Karl's eyes were full of understanding as he squeezed her shoulder lightly, innocently, and in plain view of Jonathan's jealous eyes. He cleared his throat meaningfully and Karl clapped his hands together, eyes falling quickly to the floor as though he'd been caught doing something wrong.

"Shall we go back up, Mr Scicluna?" Vico asked lightly, already reaching down to untie the straps of the sling which was under Jona.

Jona's deathly glare turned from Karl to Vico. "What? I've been stuck in that bed for six days straight. I'm not going back up just yet, boy."