episode nineteen — SIRENA'S GIFT
the clone wars
tw: sickness, emetophobia  

What is it like to feel the fury of the galaxy burning at your skin? To feel the strings holding you against your will as if you're a puppet, being moved like chess pieces on a board. Lillia Val'eaon-Skywalker rules her system because the men think she cannot. She is taunted, she is deemed unworthy by wicked tricksters hiding away in the crevices of the universe. She hears the galaxy whispering her name, who could ever truly ignore it?

So as she lays here, paying no heed to the calls of the stars, she watches the nearby ships roar across the skyline. Her bed was warm, her satin sheets cold against her skin, and her hair in silken coils flowing down her shoulders. She wanted to stay in her comfort forever, but she couldn't, she was meeting Anakin and Ahsoka in a couple minutes and needed to get ready. She figured she could wear a simple gown, but her choices (nor her closet) were never simple enough. Lillia decided on a strapless violet colored gown. It was floor length, and had lighter shades of lavender organza seeping down the middle. She wore a shrug around her collarbone and it cascaded down her arms. She found herself wearing purple lately, she did not know why, but it brought her comfort.

The Queen made her way out of her chambers, walking happily down the hall, almost skipping as she did so. The weather was colder than the warmer months, but Valérian never truly got cold. It never snowed, it barely rained. It was an eternal summer, weirdly enough, Lillia never wanted anything different. As she neared the top of the marble staircase, she saw Anakin and Ahsoka waiting within the foyer of the palace, chattering about with Soteria. Ahsoka was a short girl, with soft orange skin and white markings lined along her face. She had big blue eyes, which twinkled against the Valérian sun. She reminded Lillia of a girl she used to be friends with when she was little. Her name was Ryllae, her family disappeared one day and never returned.

"Hello." Lillia smiled as she walked down the staircase. Soteria smiled at her daughter, then excused herself and walked to a different corridor. "Your Majesty." Both of the Jedi bowed. Lillia tried to hide her soft laughter from the fact that if Ahsoka was not here, Anakin would run over to her and squash her in a hug. Lillia's guards trailed behind, a couple of paces so she would not feel trapped, but kept eyes on her nonetheless. "It's a pleasure to meet you Ahsoka, I've heard many stories already." She chimed, earning a pink face from the padawan. "Only good, I hope." She replied, Anakin raised his eyebrows in return.

"Since Ahsoka is quite new to Valérian grounds, I figured we could head over to some of the shops in Selenta?" Lillia suggested. She spent most of her time at the shops, mostly gazing at the various gown fabrics, or glittering new trinkets she could add to her collection. Whenever the Queen felt stressed, she found herself skipping down to the markets and spending a day lost in her own little galaxy.

"Yes!" Ahsoka suddenly shouted, surprised at her own tone. Lillia giggled, almost squealing with the padawan like little girls. "How splendid..." Anakin sighed, trailing behind the girls as they skipped out of the castle happily.

Ahsoka gazed out to the north sea as they walked down to the markets, her eyes widening at the beauty of the glistening waters. That was one thing that Lillia loved about her planet, she loved how its beauty would make people stop in their tracks and sink into the soil. "Does it always look like that?" Ahsoka asked, looking over to the Queen softly. "Like what?" She responded.

"Perfect?"

Lillia chuckled silently, but her smile greatly shining as they continued to walk through the markets. People bowed as Lillia walked by, something she was still getting used to, even after all this time. Her eyes settled on a glittering necklace hanging from one of the window shops. ( Although she had hundreds of necklaces at home, this one felt different, completely soft and serene ) Her feet carried her toward the open door, letting the warm air breeze through the cold rooms. The necklace was decorated with a Valérian jewel, Asmīerīa. ( Typically a soft blue, but this was a clear shade of violet. ) Lillia's fingers trailed against the gem, gazing at it like it was the only thing she could see.

The chain was a soft silver, it reminded her of the snowy mountains on Talisen, and the glow of the vast buildings of the capitol. She looked out of the shop window to Ahsoka, who was almost running to everything in sight with an open jaw. Ahsoka was still young, but incredibly smart. If Lillia were to ever have a daughter one day, she would love to have one like Ahsoka. "Excuse me! How much is this?" Lillia looked over to the shop worker, a friend she had gained from being there so often, especially as a little girl. "For you, Your Majesty." He mostly spoke Valéri, so his galactic basic was sort of broken. "No, no, I must give you something." She shook her head, rustling through her bag of coins, pulling out seven shiny circles. "No!" He pushed the money away, shaking his head. "Bēlēda Itās, nīserēs fayī prētā." ( It is all yours, beautiful just like you. ) The man spoke.

Lillia whined, trying to give the money in any way she could. "Eohe syradī." ( I cannot. ) She refused. She hated being treated as someone special. To her, she was just ordinary, flesh and bone just the same. " Ihrī āslā." ( You must. ) The man then sat down in the chair behind the counter, bowing his head and closing his eyes. Lillia debated slipping the coins onto the table, but she knew he would hear them and throw them right back into her little pouch. She walked out of the shop, smiling at the keeper one last time before turning her attention to Anakin and Ahsoka.

Ahsoka looked like a puppy surrounded by all new shiny toys, or a child in candy store. "She's having the time of her life." Lillia smiled, nudging her husband in the arm while holding the new necklace she bought. "She hasn't been this quiet in weeks." Anakin joked, looking down at the violet necklace. Lillia laughed, then handed him the necklace and turned around. She moved her hair out of the way as his hands grazed her necklace. "What do you think?" She smiled, pearly white teeth glistening against the sun. Anakin laughed, "Beautiful."

He admired his wife staring off into the distance, he admired every curl, every freckle that sat upon her face, every scar from her youth, everything. In some selfish ways, he couldn't imagine a life without her — to be without her meant having the sun suddenly disappear from the universe, leaving it cold and empty, lethal and cruel.

Ahsoka eventually made her way over, holding onto several bags of stuff she probably did not need. "I'm never leaving." Ahsoka collapsed into a small chair from a nearby restaurant on the sides on the market place. "You can be the new Queen of Valérian if you'd like." Lillia joked, sitting down on the adjacent chair. "Hmm." Ahsoka pondered, staring at the sky and then laughing. "I hope it was everything you wished for." Lillia tapped her nails against the cool table, looking at the seas over the edge of the mountain, and then back to the padawan. "It was much more. Thank you, Your Majesty." She smiled.

"Please call me Lillia, we are friends now, Ahsoka." She twinkled. Ahsoka nodded. Everything was cool, it felt like she was just finally getting her life back. The salty air was beginning to feel refreshing, her freckles were even more vibrant than before, and she had no worries. ( Even with the war raging throughout the galaxy. ) Lillia Skywalker knew she had everything she truly wanted in the moment.

In a few days time, she would be meeting her family for the beginning of the new year, the Valérian holiday she spent with Anakin so many years ago, Reařys e Stella. ( Festival of Stars. ) The woman thought back to that day. It was something she did often, especially when she missed her husband when he was off fighting on some foreign planet. She thought of the flowers he made for her, the silly traditional Valérian outfit he had probably pulled from the depths of the ancient temple, and the look on his face under the twin moons. Although he would not be able to attend this time, Lillia knew she had her family. They would be waiting for her, like they always did. No matter what you were planning on doing during Reařys e Stella, you would always end up back with your family, hugging underneath the stars and praying for a bright future.

Something in Lillia's stomach twisted, and her forehead ran hot. Her throat felt like something was clawing at it, and she began to sweat. "Excuse me, I'll be right back." She got up, leaving Ahsoka and Anakin at the table to go find the nearest bathroom. She was not one for getting sick, and even when she did, it was rarely this bad. She hurried down the market streets, running into a fabric shop and quickly pulling the door to the bathroom. She bent over the toilet, holding her hair back in her hand as she threw up. There was nothing Lillia Dione Val'eaon hated more than throwing up. Whenever she would as a young girl, she could not step into the same room for days, perhaps even months.

Right now, all she wanted to do was cry for her mother. She hated getting sick, she despised it, but this did not feel like just a sickness.
⠀⠀⠀.　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　ﾟ .　　　　　　　　　　　　　. 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　✦ 　　　　　,　　　　　　　.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀　　　　　　*　　　　　　　　　　　..　　　　　　　　　　　　　. 　　⋆✴︎　   　　　,　　　　　　　　　*　　　　　⠀　　　　⠀　　,⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.　　　　　 　　⠀　　　⠀.　 　　˚　　　⠀　⠀  　　,

Lillia traveled down to a Valérian doctor in the countryside of the planet. She had not been here since her wedding night, which she spent with Anakin. She waited patiently in the room, tapping her foot carefully against the ground as she waited for her medical droid to arrive. Her stomach was still in a knot, and her body wanted her to throw up once again, but Lillia desperately refused. She could not do it, it made her skin crawl and her spine shiver. "Your Majesty." Her medical droid floated into the clear facility, holding a clipboard and a pen. "Hello Vi'la." Lillia greeted, trying to smile but sort of failing, her stomach still fighting her. Vi'la had been the one to deliver Lillia when she was born, and had been her nurse since then. It was a funny thing for a droid to feel an emotion, it was almost rare, but seeing Lillia so grown now, it made Vi'la feel almost upset.

"Why have you come today, Miss Lillia." Vi'la wandered around the room, getting the basic necessity items that she would usually use for a normal check up. "I'm not sure how to describe it, Vi, I threw up a few moments ago, but It came out of oblivion." Lillia looked down, her eyelashes fluttering harshly. Vi'la hummed, looking back and Lillia, her lens adjusting slightly. "You do look pale. May I run some tests?" Vi'la asked. The woman nodded, lying down on the circular bed in the nurses gown.

The droid connected some wires to Lillia's arms and legs, one by her heart, and the last one on her belly. Vi'la silently hummed as she tapped buttons on her holoprojector happily. Lillia stared at the ceiling, the lights were beginning to hurt her eyes, and she was getting slightly impatient. Silently, she cursed herself for even wanting to say something. "Well It appears you have tested positive." Vi'la spoke, still running around the space like a wild animal. "Tested positive for what?" Lillia asked, arching her neck back against her table to stare at Vi'la.

"Pregnancy."

Lillia's heart dropped. Her mind racing and her skin almost boiling. This could not be right, she would've known, she would've known right away. "What?" She shuttered, "A-Are you sure it isn't malfunctioning?" She sat up quickly, Vi'la hummed, "I am sure, Miss Lillia." She confirmed. Lillia almost felt like fainting. She had been married a month and a half, she had no intention of having a child so soon. What would her parents think? It was way too soon. She could not tell anyone, and luckily for her, Valérian medical droids were sworn to secrecy, especially royal medical droids. Lillia placed a hand on her stomach, thinking of her unborn child growing in her tummy. She wanted to cry, to run into her mother's arms and cry.

But she couldn't.

She couldn't tell anyone. What would they all think? Eventually she would begin showing, and she would have to tell her family. She would have to wear more layers, more skirts underneath the fabrics of her dress. The worst part of it all is that she would have to tell Anakin. She feared for his reaction, not that he would pack up everything he has known and leave, but of what he would think of himself. In some ways, Lillia was ready for a family, but was Anakin?

She couldn't put her thoughts to sleep, instead, pearly tears came rushing from her eyes as she cried silently in the ablazing lights.
⠀⠀⠀.　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　ﾟ .　　　　　　　　　　　　　. 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　✦ 　　　　　,　　　　　　　.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀　　　　　　*　　　　　　　　　　　..　　　　　　　　　　　　　. 　　⋆✴︎　   　　　,　　　　　　　　　*　　　　　⠀　　　　⠀　　,⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.　　　　　 　　⠀　　　⠀.　 　　˚　　　⠀　⠀  　　,
The next couple of hours drained the Queen as she sat tapping her pen on parchment paper and fiercely biting her nails, her hands shaking and her eyes glued to the desk in the dark lit room. She wanted to write to Helaena — or even Talia, she wanted to spill everything she had to say on that tiny piece of paper and ship it off to wherever they were on the other side of Valérian. Lillia tried to muster up thoughts, she wrote a few words down on the paper, then crumbled it and threw it in the small trash bin next to her. The girl wanted to cry, she felt the small cold pools of water gathering at the caruncle of her eye. Even though her womb was creating her unborn child, she felt incredibly bare. Everything felt like a false reality, like she would wake up in a couple of minutes and have this 'nightmare' gone.

Lillia looked out the window from the desk, staring at the milky blue horizon and the twinkling stars setting over the calm seas. Haakon and Solae sat aligned, perfectly in place along the tall glass. She thought of Utena, who she hadn't visited in quite some time. Lillia quickly grabbed a small shawl, making her way out of the corridor and into the main foyer of the palace, then out into the cold breeze of the night.

She headed toward the ruins of Skaltari, one of her favorite places, where she could be contempt in complete and utter solace. Utena was like a best friend, although she could not respond to Lillia's perfect Valéri, the way she nuzzled against the Queen or yelped when she laid eyes on her, it was clear that this bond could never be broken.

"Duinkari." Lillia spoke, her stomach dropping slightly as the piece of strong rock floated beneath her. She remembered the first day she was brought here, or even perhaps the second day ( As Kier and Soteria introduced their newborn daughter to the dragon pit as soon as she opened her warm brown eyes. ) She was little, perhaps four or five, holding her mother's hand while her other hand was resting on her necklace. She reminisced on her mother's sweet voice, whispering the same words Lillia spoke moments before. She remembered her mother's dragon, Slyvaris, lightly chirping as she saw Soteria guide her nervous daughter toward her. Slyvaris was a gentle beast, a quiet and loving dragon.

She had a shiny black coat, ( which obviously differed from Utena's sheer white scales. ) and her eyes were a lavender purple, similar to the jewel hanging from Lillia's neck. Soteria had lifted her young daughter in her arms, showing her how to approach a dragon. Lillia had reached out, causing Slyvaris to bow her head and nuzzle gently within the child's touch. It was the Queen's first ever true memory, and it was quite ironic, a dragon bowing her head in respect to the future Queen. How could Lillia ever forget this? It was nearly impossible.

"Āslera zediti." ( Hello my friend. ) Lillia whispered as the rock stomped onto the dirty ground. Utena chirped from her spot near the glimmering pools, which flowed with the waterfalls charged by Asmīerīan jewels. Her scales were glowing, with soft dots and markings given to her by genetics. These markings were always amazing the Queen, as the beauty of her planet was truly unmatched.

Lillia walked over, not giving a care in the galaxy about her skirts gathering dust as they brushed against the ground. She pet the side of Utena's head, then looked up to Slyvaris who watched from above. Lillia sent her a small smile, she knew that dragons could not return the favor, but it still warmed her heart to do so. "Slyvaris." The Valérian accent rolled off her tongue as the mother dragon roared in response. "Atle Atle, āslera Sylvaris." ( Oh, yes, yes, hello Slyvaris. ) She blinked softly. Utena nudged the woman, sensing the worry that filled her warm heart. She neared her ear near the Queen's belly, listening to the heart beat of the unborn child. Utena chirped once again, and then moved out of the way to reveal the eggs hiding behind her small nest.

Lillia's eyes widened. Utena had somehow managed to lay eggs, and around the same time as Lillia. She listened to her mother when she said that they were bonded for life, but she never knew that It meant offspring as well. "Hysa Utena! Dyseri iserne vexa, zediti." ( Oh Utena! We are two of the same, my friend. ) Lillia chimed, basically jumping up and down in complete excitement. Even if she was totally afraid, she knew that she wouldn't be alone. Not now, not ever.

AUTHORS NOTE
SO. 🫢 Yes miss girl is PREGNANT!
Honestly if you told me in july that I'd be at this part of ATF, i'd start crying. I've been waiting to write pregnant Lillia for MONTHS, I have so so many ideas, so many cute scenes, and they've just been bottled up and waiting patiently for their time! Well now it's here 🥹🤭 This is so so exciting and I hope you guys liked this chapter! As always, peace and love 🤍