Alex's (POV)
(Part One)

I lean my head against the glass window of the passenger seat in the truck, my heart feeling like its going to jump out of my chest its beating so fast.

  I'm currently on my way to my "doctors appointment," and I can't help but feel extra anxious about it.

I mean, Mrs. Jones originally was supposed to take me to this appointment. But she called yesterday, conforming my suspicion.

She wasn't going to make it.

Which now means Lucy gets to take me.

I feel sweat drip down the back of my neck, a tightness growing in my chest.

Which means she'll see my....scars.

I swallow, my throat going dry.

I'm telling them about my past later, but that doesn't mean I wanted anyone to see....them.

But I know it's unavoidable.

  I'm already nervous about later. Add what I'm about to do now and you get a overdrive in the nervous department.

  Sure, I trust Lucy. I would just prefer no one ever saw these.

Including myself. But that's sadly not possible.

I sit up straighter.

I'm going to deal with this calmly and in control. I'm not going to make more of a fool out of myself by having a nervous breakdown in front of them.

I take a deep breath.

I'll be fine, nothing's going to happen.

I relax my stiff muscles.

It's just Lucy and doctor Quinn.

Don't think about later right now. Just get through this part first, then move onto the second obstacle.

I glance at the clock on the dashboard.

1:00 P.M.

We'd already had lunch before we left the house, the atmosphere being extra quiet with everyone waiting for later. When I'm going to reveal my past.

Just as Mack had promised, he'd told them about me wanting to do this yesterday during our trip back to the house.

I move my gaze back to the window, my eyes catching the movement of my foot tapping the ground.

I instantly stop it.

I hadn't even noticed I'd been doing that.

Nervous habit.

That would also be the reason I'm currently biting my nails.

I pull my hand away from my mouth, tucking both of them under my thighs.

Didn't even notice I'd been doing that either.

Oh who am I kidding? I'm a complete mess.

I notice Lucy glance at me from the corner of her eye, silence stretching between us.

I look back outside. We're almost in town now, my appointment at one fifteen which means we'll be right on time.

I take a few more quiet deep breaths. Trying not to gain the attention of Lucy.

Ten minutes goes by in a blur, and before I know it, we're pulling into the parking lot.

After we park, I shakily open my door. Placing my feet firmly on the ground, I look up over at the building.

I tightly grip the trucks door handle, my hand turning white.

Breath.

It'll be fine.

Shutting the door behind me, I follow Lucy in through the entrance.

I take a seat in the waiting room as Lucy goes over to the receptionist, my posture stiff as a board. A minute passes and she comes over, taking a seat beside me.

I fold my arms across my chest, having to resist the urge to bring my legs up also. I stare over at the clock that's hanging on the wall, watching as each second ticks by.

1:13.

Sweat trickles down my forehead, and I quickly reach a hand up to wipe it away.

Someone touches my arm, and I jump in surprise, swinging my gaze over towards where I felt it.

Lucy's looking at me with mildly concerned eyes, and I watch as they glance down at my feet.

I look down also, only to see my foot rapidly tapping the ground again.

I stop it.

I look back up at Lucy, who has her mouth open to say something. But before she can say anything, a nurse walks out of the hallway.

She quickly glances down at her clipboard before looking back up. "Alex Rider." She calls out, her eyes landing on us.

My heart skips a beat.

Lucy stands up, looking back at me.

  I slowly stand up, noticing I'm stiff as a board. Well, so much for looking calm.

I follow Lucy and the nurse down the hallway, stuffing my hands in my pockets. They stop beside the exact same room we were in for Mack's broken leg.

I wonder if there's a reason for that?

The nurse motions us in. "The doctor will be with you in a moment." She gives us a smile, then leaves.

Going in, I take in all the same details as before.

I take a seat on the examination bed that's in the middle of the room, Lucy sitting on one of the chairs in the corner.

I swing my dangling feet around, wrapping my arms back around myself.

"Alex." I look over at Lucy as she calls my name.

"You know if your not comfortable with me in here, I can leave." Lucy tells me with slight hesitation.

My heart speeds up, and I realize something.

I'd rather she didn't leave.

I know her better than I know doctor Quinn, and I'd probably end up being more of a mess if she wasn't here.

I give Lucy a shy smile. "I-I want you to stay." I quietly say, looking away from her.

  I hear the smile in her voice. "Alright." She answers just as quietly.

I feel gratitude run through me, my heart warming.

Yes, it's time they knew everything.

And I'm finally ready to tell them.....Well, as ready as I'll ever be.

And even if they end up wanting me to pack up and leave after I tell them. I'll at least have this off my conscience. They deserve to know.

I look down at my watch, reading the date and time.

Wednesday, July 13. 1:17 P.M.

There's a quick knock on the door, then it opens up. Quinn stands in the doorway, a smile on her face.

Yup, Polly looks just like Quinn. Only a younger version.

She looks over Lucy. "Hey Lucy." She greats, and Lucy gives her a smile in return.

I keep my feet swinging, trying to distract my mind.

Then she looks over at me. "Alex, nice to see you again." She says, walking over to her twisty chair. Clipboard in hand.

I feel myself tense up more.

Quinn sits down. "So Alex." She turns towards me. "I'm just going to do a routine checkup, ask some questions." She hesitates. "And I'm going to need you to take your shirt off."

My legs go still, chest tightening.

I knew I'd have to, but that doesn't make it any easier.

"But we can save that for last." She gives me a warm, encouraging smile.

I mentally sigh.

At least it's last.

Quinn crosses her legs, slipping a pair of glasses on before she looks down at her clipboard.

"Alright, I'm going to ask a few questions." She starts, looking up at me. "So how's your stomach?" She questions.

I force myself to answer. "B-Better than it had been." I truthfully reply.

Which really, these last couple days it's only been annoying. Not really painful.

Well, not painful to me anyway.

She nods, looking back down at her clipboard as she writes something down. "Good, that's good." She says.

"How much would you say you've been eating lately?" She looks back up at me.

I give a small shrug. "Sometimes all three meals, and about half of what's on my plate....usually." I mumble out the last part.

But she seems to of heard me anyway.

Raising her eyebrow, she writes something down. "Well knowing Lucy, I'm guessing your plate was pretty full." She looks over at Lucy with a small smirk. "But that's good, Alex. Compared to when you were in the hospital that's a large, positive difference."

My heart drops.

The hospital.

I hate remembering about that specific time, unpleasant memories always - and I mean always, invading my mind. Because if you think I'm bad now....then you should've seen me then.

I feel a shudder run through me.

Yeah, that wasn't a good time.

But compared to where I was.....Before.

The hospital was like a vacation....figuratively speaking.

  "Okay." I look over at Quinn who's staring down at her clipboard. "How have the panic attacks been?" She questions, sitting up straighter. "Are they frequent?"

  Um, let's see.....

I've had one about everyday as of lately - which I don't think is healthy. And then I passed out yesterday.

I stare at her, trying to decide how to answer that specific question.

But, if we're comparing to when I was at the hospital. Then I'd say I'm doing much better. I couldn't go a day without having at-least two there.

I feel myself wince.

I decide it's probably better if I just answer as truthfully as possible. "At-least once a day." I look down at my lap.

I hear her chair squeak as she repositions herself. "Hmm, it says here you've already tried out all the medications for panic attacks....Well, those that are suitable in your case." She taps her pen on the clipboard. "But they'll get less frequent in their own time."

I hope so.

"What about your PTSD?" She looks up at me.

Uhhhh, well I've been seeing a dead Tom for the last couple days now.

    "Fine." I lie, not wanting to go into details.

She seems to sense my mood towards that subject. But instead of pressing it like most doctors would, she just writes something down, moving onto her next topic.

"How's sleeping been?" She questions.

Not so good.

      Last night I only had maybe two-three hours sleep total.

  I was too worked up about today, and then there's the usual threat of nightmares lingering in the back of my mind.

I'm just barely able to keep myself from looking too exhausted right now. A talent I picked up along the way.

  "Uh, maybe four to five hours a night." I avoid both Quinn and Lucy's eyes.

"So what time would you say you usually fall asleep?" Quinn sets both feet on the ground.

I shrug again. "One-ish." I mumble out.

"And when do you usually wake up?" Quinn asks.

"Around six." I glance over at her.

She's tapping her pen on her chin, a thoughtful expression on her face. "It says here you don't take anything to help with sleeping?" She pretty much questions.

I quickly shake my head. "No!" I accidentally say a little louder than intended, making both of them look over at me with slightly wide eyes. "I-I mean, I don't want anything for that." I slouch, my eyes looking down at the designs on the floor.

I'm not trying that again.

It basically keeps me from being able to wake myself up. So I'm stuck reliving memories over, and over again.

Another shudder runs through me.

Trapped in your own mind. Caged in like a wild beast. No escape.

No thank you.

I'd take no sleep over that any-day.

"Well If your so against that, then I'd suggest making a tea before bed." She says.

I frown.

What about tea? Did I miss something while I was momentarily zoning out?

And just because I'm British doesn't mean I like tea. I actually don't really fancy it.

Quinn must've seen my expression, cause she gives a light laugh. "And no. I'm not just saying that because your British." She explains, almost as if she was reading my mind.

She sobers up. "Chamomile tea is good for helping someone sleep easier. It's a herb." She says. "You could try it. And if it ends up helping, then keep using it. But if it doesn't, then just don't use it." She finishes.

Well I guess it couldn't hurt.

"Okay." I quietly say.

Quinn nods, looking over at Lucy." So chamomile. Got it Lucy?"

"Yes, and I actually think I have some at home already." Lucy nods.

Quinn quickly writes something down, then stands up. "Alright, I'm done with the questions for right now." She says, walking over to me.

I tense up again.

"Let's do weight and height first." She walks over to a scale that's tucked in the corner, fiddling with it.

I get up, wordlessly heading over to her.

"Take your shoes off." Quinn says.

I slip my feet out, then step up onto it.

Quinn does a few adjustments while I just stand there. "One hundred and thirty-five and a half pounds. Five foot ten." Quinn announces.

She writes on her clipboard. "Your weight has definitely improved. But it's still less then what it should be for your height."

Yeah, I was pretty much just skin and bones when I was "rescued " from there. Then with having a messed up stomach, it takes awhile for anything weight related to come back.

But I'm more filled out now.

Thankfully.

She smiles. "Guess that's Lucy's cooking for ya." She jokes.

She motions for me to take a seat again.

She places her stethoscope ends into her ears. "Alright, I'm just going to listen to your heart." She stands beside me. "It's protocol." She explains.

She does that, asking me to take a couple deep breaths for her. Then she takes them out of her ears, writing something down.

"Temperature and checking your ears." She narrates, probably trying to keep me calm for what's to come.

I feel myself start to sweat again, my hands trembling slightly.

Taking some weird thing, she places it in my ear. Looking through it, she then leaves it there for a few seconds.

She does my other ear, then writes something down. "Looks good." She says.

"Alright, reflex check." She opens a cabinet, bringing out something that looks like a small hammer.

"Cross your legs Alex." She demands.

I cross them, and she stands in front of me. Then she lightly taps right under my knee with it.

My leg immediately responds with a jerk.

Quinn looks slightly surprised with it. "Wow, those are some great reflexes there." She commends, writing on her clipboard.

I can't help but crack a small smile.

If only she knew how many times those 'reflexes' saved my life.

"Pulse and blood pressure." She moves on.

I gulp, tucking my trembling hands under my legs.

She gets the blood pressure device out of one of the many cabinets, then she takes the Velcro apart with a loud rip.

She spots my hands underneath my legs.

She raises her eyebrow, a scolding look on her face. "Come on Alex, give me an arm." She cracks a smile.

I take my trembling right arm out from under me, holding it out for her. I hold my breath, trying to make the trembling less noticeable.

She seems to ignore it for the moment, slipping the device over my arm and up to my bicep.

She starts pumping it up, and I feel it tighten around my arm. Once it's fully pumped, she slowly lets the air out, her eyes focused on the little needle that's in the glass.

She writes on her board again.

Taking it off, she looks me in the eye. "Alex, you don't have to be so stressed." She pats me on the shoulder, a motherly expression on her face. "It's just me and Lucy." She smiles. "I don't think we're too terrible."

"Can I take your pulse now?" She gently asks.

I slowly nod my head.

Nothing I can do about it. Besides, that's the least of my worries.

Carefully, she slides my sleeve up my arm.

I wince, looking anywhere but there.

I feel her gently examine it, turning my wrist over.

I bite my lip as an overwhelming feeling that I should pull my hand away, fills me to the core.

She then places her fingers on the certain spot to take a pulse, being careful to avoid my....old injury.

Once she's done, she rolls down my sleeve, taking a step back. "So is there anything you want to ask? Or tell me?" She questions.

I shake my head. "No." I choke out, already knowing what's going to come next.

My chest grows tighter, mouth dry.

"Alright Alex, I'm going to ask you to take your shirt off." She apologetically says.

My hands form fists, and I bite my lip.

Breath.

I'm sure she's seen something like this before....

Right?

Although maybe not on a fifteen year old.

"I've just got to look over everything and make sure it's all healing right." She explains.

I know.

I numbly nod, bringing my trembling hands up to the front of my shirt. I shakily begin to unbutton it, glancing over at Lucy.

She's looking over at me, eyes unreadable. But as she spots me looking over at her, she gives me a encouraging smile.

I let a shaky breath out.

Might as well get this over with.

As I finish the last button, I slide my arms out, placing my shirt on my lap. My eyes staring down at it.

I wince as I hear Lucy inhale a large, surprised breath. Quinn's standing completely still, her eyes burning a trail across my exposed skin.

I just want to get this over with.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lucy's (POV)

Oh my god.

Questions painfully swirl in my mind, like a trail of fire.

How....How did this happen?

I was honestly expecting it to be bad after everything I've witnessed with Alex.

But not this bad.

Alex is almost completely covered in....in....scars.

I'm sitting over from the side of him, so I have a perfect view of both his back and his front. And even his arms have them!

I hear a quiet gasp leave my lips.

I don't even know where to begin, or what to think.

There's the ones I'd already seen before.

The one on the right side of his neck that actually goes down further than I'd originally thought. His stomach wound looking just like I'd seen it last week.

But then the mark around his right wrist, is.....is also on his left wrist.

Matching. Like handcuffs.

Except these marks are not from any normal handcuffs.

Then there's everything else.

His arms have a couple of these strange roundish scars, and a few longer ones - like slashes, scattered around.

Then his chest has....What, what is that?

It looks like a crude drawing of a scorpion. Except it wasn't drawn on paper.

It's engraved on his skin....like a tattoo.

Only I can tell this is no tattoo. No, it was made with a...knife.

How....?.....Why.....?

The rest of his chest is littered with scars all different shapes and sizes. Some of them still looking a bit raw and irritated.

Then my eyes spot one that looks like it's directly over his heart, maybe an inch above it.

I've seen one that looks like that before.

Don had gotten shot on his arm when he was a kid....some hunting incident. And it pretty much looks exactly like that.

Cause that's what it is.

A old bullet wound.

Although, it doesn't look that old.

My eyes widen more with this realization.

How is he even alive?

I continue to look over the rest of him.

His stomach doesn't have much besides the big one I'd already seen.

I wince as my eyes land on his back.

Because his back is by far the worst - if you're going by how marked up he is.

It's full of long crisscrossed scars, all going in different directions. Barely even a bare area left on the skin of his back. A tangled web of horror stories.

I feel tears come to my eyes, and I look down at Alex's face.

He's staring down at his lap, his hair falling down so it covers up his eyes.

But I can tell from the way he's slouching-

He's ashamed.

He's embarrassed.

I've only known Alex for two weeks now, but I feel like I've known him longer - like he's been here his whole life.

And even though I don't know a thing about his past, I feel like he's really a part of this family.

And I want him to be.

I've grown attached to Alex, almost like I can't bear the thought of not having him around.

  But how could someone go through all this.....and still be....standing?

I feel a small smile form on my lips.

Alex could.

It's obvious.

Alex is strong. Stronger than he thinks.

And not just physically.

Mentally.

I-I don't know what he's been through, but I'm going to be there for him. Just like I've said before.

  And I'm promising it to myself. I'm promising it to Alex.

I wipe away the few stray tears that had started falling down my face.

The pain he must've gone through....

As I look over each mark on his body individually, I feel them just as when he received them.

Pain.

Another light gasp escapes my mouth, breaking me from my deep thoughts.

Quinn's looking at Alex, a surprised/worried expression on her face.

I bet even she wasn't even expecting....this.

I notice Alex has his fists clinched, hands turning white from the pressure.

They're trembling.

And that's when I hear his breathing has picked up, shoulders shaking slightly.

I stand up.

Taking a couple steps, I make it across the room. And without stopping, I gently wrap Alex up in a hug from the side.

Hugs and knowing someone cares for you is the best medicine.

He tenses up, just like usual.

But then he turns his head so it rests in the crook of my elbow, his trembling hand coming up to hold onto the bottom of my shirt.

As if his life depended on it.

I hear his silent sobs as he tries to keep everything bottled up, his shoulders shaking.

I hold him as Quinn continues with checking everything, feeling him tense every-time she touches one of the scars.

"Alex, it's alright." I hug him closer. "I've got you, and I'm not letting you go." I whisper to him. "I promise."

He brings his other arm up to wrap around my waist, holding me tighter.

I feel my heart warm.

As Quinn finishes up, I run my fingers through his thick hair in a attempt to help relax him.

His sobbing now only quiet hiccups, his hands the only thing trembling. But he keeps his head in my elbow. Hiding.

Quinn looks at me with troubled eyes.

I understand.

She's concerned.

But then again, aren't we all?

"Alright, we're done for today." Quinn gently says. "I'll see you soon, Alex." She places her hand on his shoulder. Then she looks at me, a message passing between us.

Take care of him.

And I will.

"Bye Lucy." She says.

She opens the door, glancing back at us one more time with a smile.

I stroke his head. "Come on, Alex. It's time to go." I gently tell him.

He slowly unwraps himself from around me, taking his head away from my arm.

But he keeps his head angled down towards his lap.

Just like before, I take my finger, placing it underneath his chin as I bring his face up to mine.

His brown eyes full of too many emotions to count, jaw trembling.

"Alex, there's no need to be embarrassed." I look him in the eye, letting him see it for himself.

He stares at me a minute, then looks away.

Giving me a nod, he starts putting his shirt back on.

I take one last glance at his scars before they're completely concealed.

How....?

Why...?

After he's finished buttoning his shirt, he stands up.

I put a comforting arm around his upper waist - my small self not able to reach his shoulders, and together we walk out the door.

I make another appointment for two weeks from now, then we're back in the truck, heading for home.

  I can tell he's tired now, though he was doing a good job masking it earlier. But he's completely drained now.

And he only had three hours of sleep last night.

     I didn't know.

As we exit town, I see his head lightly fall against the window. Hair covering his eyes.

He's Asleep.

I slow down, giving him more time.

After about forty minutes, I pull into my parking-spot at the house.

I glance at the vehicles.

      Dons' here.

I honestly don't know what brought this on. Mack told us yesterday on the way home from the fair, Alex agreeing when we asked.

Alex was going to tell us about his past when we got back from his appointment, but....

I glance over at him. He's still passed out cold, shoulders lightly falling up and down. Soft breaths filling the truck.

I don't want him to do it if it'll put too much stress on him.

He's already done enough today.

Though, I'm not telling anyone about.....those.

Even Don.

Because Alex will when he's ready.

But right now. He just needs to go take a nap.

I lean over towards Alex, lightly rubbing him on the shoulder. "Alex, we're here." I whisper.

He groans, and I see his eyes flutter open underneath his hair. Sitting up, he groggily rubs his eyes.

Then he just sits there, looking out the front window.

I know what he's thinking about.

"Alex, you don't have to tell us right now." I reassure him.

I can wait. And I'm sure it won't kill everyone else not to know yet.

I watch as he seems to think it over, his eyes still staring out the front window.

Something looks...different.

Yes, that's it.

He's holding his shoulders up, a determined air about him.

And that's how I know his answer before he even says it.

He shakes his head. "No, I want to tell you all." He looks over at me, a spark of confidence in his eyes. "Today."

I give him a nod, a small smile on my face.

It looks as if he's gotten pass some road block in his life.

He gets out, and I follow.

As we go in, we're greeted with the sight of everyone sitting around the living room.

Mack and Polly are playing the Wii. Don reading a newspaper.

They all look over at us as we enter.

Mack is the first to say something. "Welcome back!" He enthusiastically shouts, pausing his video game.

  Alex smiles slightly.

It looks like they've finally gotten over whatever it was that was between them. Friends forever more.

I look over at Polly. She's staring at Alex, a smile on her lips, eyes examining him.

I still don't understand how Polly came to be a part of this. But knowing her, it doesn't really surprise me.

She has a way of figuring people out before they can figure themselves out.

Alex walks to the center of the living room, and I take a seat beside Don.

Don sets his paper down, giving his full attention to Alex.

"Alex, you really don't have to do this right now." Don tries.

Alex shakes his head. "No, I don't. But I want to." He looks between each of us, one at a time.

I've never seen this Alex before.

"First before I tell you anything." He looks directly at Mack. "What I'm going to tell you is strictly confidential."

What?

Well, now that I think about it, his personal information was classified.

So that does make since....sorta.

Everyone's staring over at Alex with surprised eyes.

He takes a breath.

I feel myself lean forward despite myself, eager to hear.

And with a completely straight face, Alex tells us what we've been waiting to here.

"I was a spy for MI6."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so sorry guys, I know you were excited about the part that I just Stopped it on. But since this chapter is already so long(4,404 words), I decided to make it into two parts. But this chapter is important also.

I'm sorry!!!!*holds up hands* Don't hurt me.😇

Yeah, I'm mean....I know. 😱😜

Questions:

1. How do you think Lucy handled seeing all of Alex's scars??

2. How did you handle it?? 😏😏

3. Who's excited for part Two of this chapter?? (Me!!!😉)

Thanks again everyone!!!!! 😘😁

      Hey!!!! Don't forget to VOTE AND COMMENT!!!!!!

And PEOPLE!!!! Those of you that are being SILENT READERS......Don't be!!!!! I want to know who's reading my story, cause I know it's more then the nine people that have been Voting/Commenting on this here. (Love you guys!!!😘) So please, all you silent readers. DON'T BE SILENT READERS!!!!! I want to know who you are so I can tell you thanks, and I can't do that unless you VOTE AND OR COMMENT!!! And if you don't know how to do that, you just click that little star on the bottom left corner of the screen. (At least that's what it is for me) to VOTE. And you press the little icon at the bottom that's beside the star to COMMENT then you just type. (It would literally take like 1 second) I'd really LOVE it if you'd take this into consideration.😭 Cause it would honestly make my day to see someone VOTE for this story.😭😭😘😁

So PLEASE PLEASE ALL YOU SILENT READERS.......VOTE!!!! I don't have almost 2K views on here from no one reading this.

SO I KNOW YOUR THERE!!!!!!🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️❤️😁😁

Oh yeah, only 12 days till Christmas!!!!!

Next Update: Possible today, but definitely tomorrow.👍🏻😉😁

Maggy

Edited: 6/19/17