❝it's new year's eve and four degrees,
and we're stranded, hopeless.❞
— the wonder years,
new year's eve with carl weathers

♥

FUCK, I WAS DIZZY. I moved to take a step, to chase after her, but the sidewalk tilted beneath my feet. My ankles tangled together; my knees buckled; a constellation of stars spun my thoughts into a frenzy.

Levi caught me clumsily. "Okay, slow down, bro."

"I think I love her."

Fallon groaned. "Oh, no."

"Nicholas," Levi snickered. "You are white girl wasted."

Yeah, I was white girl wasted, watching the woman of my fucking dreams—and nightmares—walk away from me. Again.

"I am so here for it." Levi clapped my shoulder. "Propose."

I blinked, desperate to shake off the haze, to steady myself, to catch my breath. It felt too heavy. There was something about her that drew me in like a moth to a flame... ready to burn. I didn't even know her.

But that didn't stop me from stumbling away from Levi, catapulting across icy gravel past the silent women, and skidding to a stop in front of her. Those dark eyes flashed in annoyance. "Wait, I—"

It took one shove, and I went tumbling like trash, crashing into the doorway of a nail salon. "Oof."

"Yeah, Nicholas," she muttered, lifting her chin and gracing me with a dry smile. It nearly blinded me. My vision blurred, but then she was twisting away and falling back into that quick, quiet strut that left the sound of her heels echoing between my ears. "I'm too sober for this shit."

"Wait... I... Scarlett!"

She froze.

"I just... wanted to..."

"What?" Scarlett whirled around, throwing her hands up in frustration. "What do you want? Do you want Carly and I to make out? Do you want to fuck me straight?"

"No, I didn't..." I scrambled for words desperately. I didn't know what I fucking wanted; I just wanted her. "No, that wasn't even me that sa—"

"It doesn't matter." The space between us closed quickly, so quickly that I stumbled back before she even shoved at my chest. "You are who you surround yourself with." Her fingers twisted into my shirt. "Yeah, you might be a Nick, but as long as you associate yourself with him"—she cast a dark, deadly look at my brother—"you're not."

What?

All the words seemed to slur into each other. I blinked in confusion, trying to keep up with her tirade. "I... I don't unde—"

"You're just another Levi," she drawled softly, "in a world of Levis."

Ouch. That hurt like a bitch. That hurt more than anything she'd said to me tonight.

Behind me, Levi chuckled. "Damn, a world of Levis. Now, that would be a fucking trip."

Yeah... a reaaaaaally bad trip in some dystopian universe where women had to choose between having sex with Levi or letting the entire human race die off. That was some real horror movie shit. Social Darwinism.

Hastily, I raised my hands in surrender. "No, I'm no—"

"I just wanted to have a good night," she sighed, stepping back slowly, "and you and your brother ruined it."

"Yeah." I mustered up a guilty smile. "It's kind of our thing. We tend to ruin things."

Scarlett let out a dry laugh, shook her head, ran a hand through her hair, steered her gaze up to the starless sky. It was a million little motions of barely concealed frustration. "I didn't think it could get any worse."

"It's a New Year," I said meekly, offering the simple sentiment that I'd been telling myself for days. "It can only get better."

It had to be a better year.

"Yeah, and it's about to get even better," Levi drawled, sidling up to us with a grin. Carly hung off of him like the loose cannon Barbie that her parents had, no doubt, wished she'd grow up to be. Levi always wanted a trophy wife. "Because Carly says you guys were heading to Berlin, and we're coming with you, babe."

Something vicious passed between the two girls. Scarlett shot her friend a dark look, the kind that spelled out some kind of... feminine betrayal, too many unspoken threats hanging in the silence.

But before I could gear up for a cat fight, or at least a comment from Levi about a cat fight, Scarlett roped an arm around my waist. "Okay," she said, a mischievous smile simmering at her lips. I blinked in surprise. "Okay, if you really want to do this."

I reaaaaaaally wanted to do her.

Her grip tightened, and something in my chest clenched in excitement. Awkwardly, I draped an arm over her shoulders and tried to fall in step with her. This was happening. "Okay. I... yeah."

"For the record, I fully support this." Levi jerked his chin at me teasingly. His brows rose. "I think she might choke you in bed, and bro, that's better."

Internally, I fucking screamed.

"You don't ever shut up, do you?" Scarlett gave him a sugary sweet smile that... honestly... stirred something dangerous in the pit of my stomach. It was fucking hot... in that bitchy way. "I think I could find something a little more useful for you to do with your mouth."

His eyes sparked. "Don't threaten me with a good time. I'm always ready and honestly, I'm still open to an orgy."

"Do you want a mouthful of asphalt?"

"Do you want a mouthful of dick?"

"Jesus Christ, Levi," Fallon cut in with a sigh. Cautiously, I craned to find him shouldering up to us with the third girl... and the redhead. Score for Fallon. "What the fuck?"

"What? I'm just asking."

"Yeah, nice manners, dick," Scarlett huffed.

Levi shrugged. "It's not my fault you've got a big mouth."

"Okaaaaay." I winced. "This is not..."

"I think that you should shut your fucking mouth before I fuck up that pretty boy smile that gets you all the bitches, Levi."

Yep. So my attempt to diffuse the argument failed. Pathetic, Nick.

"Mhmm. Scared it will work on you?"

"Sorry, babe, I have standards," she said, flashing him a diamond smile, cut with a soft threat that sent my entire body reeling with an icy heat.

Levi took the hit like a champion, flashing her a rivaling—pretty boy—smile. Honestly, the two of them were... dangerous together. "Yeah? Well, I do have a tendency to ruin things, especially for women," he reminded her coyly. "Here's to lowering your standards in 2020, right?"

I thought it was about to get real. I did.

But that sharp smile softened into something sweet and silent. Scarlett seemed satisfied with the lull in the conversation, abandoning the argument for quiet company with me. Me. Shit. I couldn't fuck this up. I couldn't let Levi fuck this up.

So I tried to stagger our steps, keep us a foot in front of Carly and Levi, and everyone and anyone else. I let her guide us across the Manhattan Bridge, skating across cold, hard gravel, loose strands of hair fluttering across my cheeks with each ripple of crisp air, secretly begging me to admire her somewhere in the middle of a fantasy, lost in the horizon where a jagged skyline met icy water.

Somewhere in the depths of that dream, Scarlett slowed, slowed, slowed, tugging me to the edge, casting her gaze out over the railing to the tumultuous waves of the East River.

I couldn't find words. I hadn't been able to for a pathetic amount of time.

I was drunk, and she was fucking beautiful—an angel of death cursing the hopes for a New Year.

"Nick," she murmured, my name caught in the cold wisps of breath falling from her lips. "You're quiet. Are you afraid of me?"

Dizzily, I watched her silhouette swim through the dim light, a profile of lips parting and lashes fluttering, so fucking close to perfection that I almost tried to kiss her again.

Almost.

"Yeah." I nodded. "A little bit."

"You should be." Scarlett twisted slowly, and those dark, dangerous eyes found mine, shards of light glinting within them. "I could push you off this bridge and make it look like an accident."

"Okay, there's a fine line between kinky and fucking psychotic," Levi interrupted, hooking an arm around my neck to yank me away from her. Something in the haze snapped. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can fuck him, but don't fuck with him." His eyes flashed. "Don't threaten my little bro."

Silently, Scarlett met his gaze.

"Because guess what, babe?" His voice lowered. "If you hurt him, I'll bury you. I'll make you disappear."

Despite everything, I knew that he meant it. Kayla broke my heart into a million fucking pieces, and I thought Levi was going to bury her.

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks, bro."

"Hey, I've got your back."

I hated him, and he hated me, but Levi was still my big brother.

"Just a warning," Levi mused, offering the fakest fucking smile I'd ever seen. "Scarlett."

Levi didn't understand. Because when I twisted to look at her again, mesmerized by the sweet smile toying at her lips, I understood it so clearly that it paralyzed me. I wanted her to hurt me.

Yep. 2020 was going to be a fucked up year.

—SO... Nick has a little bit of a destructive streak, as do MOST of my characters. I'm betting it has a bit to do with what happened with his ex... 😅

I'll be back with more soon!
¡Besos para todos! ❤️❤️❤️❤️