❝i was too fast to say that i love you,
you tell me convincingly.❞
— htrk, new year's eve

♥

FOR SOME REASON, I scrambled for an excuse for Carly, for her lack of good judgment, common sense, and overall... intelligence. But the pathetic string of words died low in my throat as I whipped around to find her pushing out of Ginger's in all her fucking terrifying glory—flushed cheeks and parted lips and something murderous glinting in her eyes.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"Carly," she hissed, sidestepping the redhead and striding away from the second blonde trailing her. "What the hell happened?"

"They're... uh, a little busy." I jerked a thumb over my shoulder at the couple that I could hear trying to inhale each other. I'd probably never unhear the sound of them, moaning, whispering, rattling the metal gate with some sort of drunken inhibition to go at it right there.

Her dark eyes met mine.

Like a certified asshole, I smiled—

—and then she was that streak of red and black, a tornado tearing past me to rip Levi off of her friend.

Mentally, I applauded her. Physically, I took a cautious step back from the beautiful explosion that was about to rock all of Brooklyn.

Levi went stumbling back as she wrenched Carly from the gate to the other blonde girl. "Carly." A low warning laced through her tight words, lowering it into a hiss. "I swear I told you t—"

"I know." Carly broke away with a breathless giggle. "I'm sorry. I didn't think a—"

"No, I told you that I didn't want to do this tonight."

My brows furrowed. What? Did they... do this often? Was Carly the female equivalent of Levi?

"I know, but it just happened," Carly explained. "I found him at the party, and I couldn't help myself, Scarlett."

Scarlett.

Okay, that was hot. That was maaaaaad hot.

Levi nudged me. "Hear that?"

I could hear my heartbeat in my fingertips and my blood rushing between my ears; I could hear her name within the soft murmurs of a secret conversation, clawing beneath my skin in a red-hot ripple of drunken admiration. Why her? Why tonight? Why 2020? Why couldn't I have met her in 2019... before Kayla?

An arm draped over my shoulder, and I started, torn from a million past mistakes before they could unravel. Despite everything that made him an asshole, Levi always knew when I was about to spiral. "Nicholas, c'mon, didn't you hear that?" His brows rose. "She just couldn't help herself."

"Good job," Fallon snickered, rolling his eyes. I bit back a smile as he pulled out a cigarette, taunting Levi with a shrug. "You found a crazy bitch who could put up with you. Propose."

Levi grinned. "I just might."

"Oh no." Fallon seemed to realize his mistake too late. "No, no, no," he sputtered frantically, shaking his head. "Levi, please, for the love of all that is fucking holy, do not propose to anyone tonight."

"Fallon, I think I fucking love her."

"Levi. You've known her for an hour and a half."

"...and I've loved her for about forty five minutes of it."

"Because for the other forty five minutes... she was trying to kill you."

"No, no, no, Fallon, you don't understand. Those are the forty five minutes that I've loved her."

"I swear, Levi, I will never understand you."

Numbly, I let their drunken argument fade away to hone in on the hushed conversation still unraveling a few feet away between the three women.

"No, babe," Scarlett said... almost soothingly. "I'm sorry, Carly. I just don't think you're ready."

Carly flicked a lock of that blonde hair over her shoulder, stumbled, and then twisted to glance at Levi with glassy eyes. Mhmm. Carly reminded me of an intoxicated Barbie doll, searching for her fucking Ken in all the wrong men.

"Oh, I'm ready," she mused as she whirled around to face Scarlett again. "I think he's perfect."

Levi? Perfect? What? Didn't Barbie have standards?

Well, someone must've fucked this bitch up because Carly was setting the bar for her Ken... veeeeeery fucking low.

"Yeah?" Scarlett straightened, drilling her friend with a hard look. "Well, it's my night off, and I don't feel like watching you get nasty with this asshole."

Levi let out a loud laugh. "Babe, that sounds a lot like jealousy."

Oh no.

Nervously, I shifted away from him, knowing that I was standing way too close to still-impending explosion. Because suddenly, her dark eyes were burning Levi into the pits of hell.

"Jealousy?"

"Mhmm." Levi hummed. "I actually think it's kind of hot."

Something violent flashed in those eyes. Oh no, no, no. "Levi..."

"I'm just saying," he continued, ignoring my silent plea to shut the fuck up, "that I'm totally into it." Levi feared nothing. Levi cocked his head to the side, met Scarlett's fierce glare, and smiled. "I think that I could fuck you straight."

Boom.

I didn't even see anything. I felt the wind whip around me and heard the gate rattle with the impact. I didn't know why I was expecting an indignant gasp or a blush. Clearly, this girl resorted to violence.

And fuck, she was good at it.

Because this girl slammed a San Francisco 49ers starting wide receiver into the metal gate hard enough to make him wince. Her fingers roped around his throat and tightened. Fuuuuuck.

"Uh..." I glanced around nervously, waiting for someone to stop her before she strangled my brother, but besides Fallon, who looked stupidly star struck, the three women looked like they'd rather die than stand up to her. "Uh, I don't think..."

What? I don't think you reaaaaally want to waste your time killing Levi Cooper?

Because he'd probably bounce back from the fucking dead. Levi recovered from the crash quickly, nodding in appreciation. "I told you," he snickered. "I told you that she'd be kinky, Nick."

Oh. My. God.

Don't drag me into this, Levi.

"Mhmm. You're a real piece of shit," she drawled so fucking softly, peering up at him almost innocently. Fuck. There was something sensual in the insult. "I should rip your dick off and feed it to you."

Uh. Whoa.

Was I too drunk or was her threatening Levi with bodily harm... super fucking sexy?

Yeah.

Maybe I was too drunk.

"Don't fuck with me, Levi." Scarlett dragged his name into a low taunt. "I could bring you down."

"Mmm. Top me, baby. I love it."

"Oh, baby," she echoed, the trace of a hazy promise hidden in the threat. I swallowed that unnerving, fucked up arousal again, stuck staring as she pulled back with a lazy hum. "You're not ready for that."

No. Maybe not. If Levi wasn't ready for it, I definitely wouldn't survive a night with her. But when she whirled around and stormed down the icy sidewalk, I finally understood Levi's attraction to crazy. Because I wanted her.

—OH NICK. DON'T DO THIS TO YOURSELF. DON'T DO IT. 🤦🏽‍♀️

...he's gonna do it.

For the record, I have had a guy tell me that they thought they could fuck me 'straight,' and in that moment, violence does seem like the best option. Sometimes, men just suck. 😭

ALSO OKAY OKAY OKAY. So. I've posted the first chapter of my other ONC story. Y'ALL SHOULD GO CHECK OUT BEYOND because it's gonna be a really dark thriller/horror, and I'm super excited about it. 💜

BESOS PARA TODOS. 💋