(TW// MENTIONS OF PANIC ATTACK AND HOMOPHOBIA)

Flashback
28th February,2019

The day it was going to went down. Rowon knew what was going to happen today,he had it all planned. The media knew but the one who didn't knew was Kim Taehyung,a boy to precious,living in such cruel world.

Instead he thought it was going to be one of his favourite days. While his life was planning to go downhill,He was getting ready for a date. Very Ironic,he was getting dressed up for a man who was out there making sure he ruins Taehyung's whole career.

"Baby,where are we meeting again?" Taehyung asked his boyfriend through the phone.

"At four seasons hotel,8pm,babe. Did you forgot?" Rowon responded to him.

"No,no how could i? just wanted to confirm. See you there,I'm getting ready right now"

"You dont need to though,you look handsome just how you are" Rowon complimented him,which made him blush.

"Stop~ Im gonna hang up,i love you" Taehyung said to him as he heard a chuckle from Rowon.

"Hmm,you too,see you" With that Rowon hung up the phone. Taehyung put the phone aside on the dressing table.

He grabbed his chanel earings and wore them. He was looking really pretty,he wanted to look pretty for their date as the last one was months ago so he wanted to put some effort. He was wearing a white shirt with ruffles on his sleeves,tucked inside black pants. A pearl necklace decorating his neck. He wore his shoes as he looked at himself one last time.

He turned his face a little as his highlight popped out. He was so satisfied. He took bunch of selfies which he will upload later on for his fans. He barely went on social media because of how much comments affect him but he knows he has alot of supporters out there so he wants to atleast give them something.

He put the phone and the mask inside his pockets as he took the car keys in his hand.  He grabbed the coat off the hanger since its end of February,its going to be cold as fuck out there. He got out of his room and walked out of his house into the garage,soon driving off to the location.

While he was driving with some groovy music playing not in too high volume since he gets distracted easily if its higher. He heard the sound of a notification. Someone probably messaged him. He would check it once he gets out of the car or maybe after the date because he doesn't want anything from work hold him back this time.

Though he felt like maybe he should check it. He doesn't know why but despite him being happy recently,something about today feels wrong. Its like a gut feeling that making him feel strange from inside. Like something is about to go wrong but he doesn't know much.

He shrugs it off,thinking he is probably overreacting. Its nothing,he is just paranoid. Yes,thats probably it,he should not worry too much about it. He has been through alot of rough times these past months so maybe that's  why he is feeling strange when something good is happening....right.

As he reached the hotel,he realised the hotel was looking really expensive from outside. Its one of those 5 stars hotel,the building was huge and wide. He could see all these rich people getting out of their multi-million dollars cars,wearing millions just on their wrists. A getaway from the locals. All these lights around him,just from the look of it everything here looks so much expensive.

He reached the entrance,he got out as the hotel's chauffeur opened his car door for him. Taehyung gave him keys as he would park his car. His coat loosely hanging from his shoulder as he started to walk on the stairs to get inside. It super cold out there,he is glad he brought his coat with him. Suddenly he heard someone call out his name.

"Kim Taehyung!" He turned around to see a familiar person. It was unfortunately not Rowon. It was a middle aged man who he knew.

"Director-nim,what are you doing here?" Taehyung asked as the man stood infront of him,right outside the entrance of this hotel.

"Just call me Mr.kang Taehyung,im here for a drink with my friends on the casino on top floor,what a handsome young man like you doing here? or...is it something private?" The man asked him,raising his eyebrows at Taehyung who was confused for a second when he realised what he meant. He was indeed going into a hotel,he doesnt blame this man for thinking like that.

"Oh no,nothing like that ofcourse. I am here for a date with my boyfriend" Taehyung replied to Mr.Kang who nodded understandingly but then started to look around.

"I don't see him here though?"

"Oh he must be on his way,dont worry I'm not getting stood up"

"Its cold out here,lets go inside" Mr.Kang said,Taehyung did not even try to arugue because it was really cold,he would rather like this conversation inside.

Once they got inside,Taehyung admired the beautiful hotel. Someone really spent alot of money on this as he was amused. He saw how many people were just here in lobby,maybe there is some event going on in one of the halls. His eyes went back to the director infront of him.

"Taehyung,why don't you join me and my friends while you wait, if you don't mind?" The Director put his hands on Taehyung's arm,who flinched because of the touch.

"Oh no,thank you for the offer but im good" Taehyung immediately declined.

"Please i insist,You would probably give people the wrong impression if you wait here alone. Its already been really hard for you" Mr.Kang said as he was indirectly mentioning about him coming out two months ago.

He knew he cant argue with this man. He would indeed give people a wrong impression if he is seen here alone so he should just go in this casino if he's wants to stay safe. He is already on thin ice because of the coming out news which took everyone by shock. Huge backlash that overpowered the support but he still made it through. People are already looking for things to bring him down so he needs to stay safe.

He should just be glad his agency is not kicking him out so he should do them a favour and try to stay out of trouble as long as he can. So after thinking for a second,Taehyung agreed to go with the director.

Both of them entered the elevator,going to the top floor where the casino apparently is. He has never been to one because he really doesn't want a useless addiction. He wonders if Mr.Kang and his friends gamble thought that his none of his business.

As the metal doors opened,they walked into the casino right infront of them. All the flashing lights with bunch of gaming machines around them. He saw alot of rich people just playing for their life here. He was having second thoughts now.

He walked towards a table with more middle aged man and he honestly didn't knew why he was expecting Mr.Kang to have young friends...that would be little creepy.

Soon Mr.Kang started to introduce them to him and before Taehyung can even say his name,they already knew who he was. Its obvious at this point he was the first korean actor to ever come out so he was in front of every news channel. He is not surprised.

As soon as these men just conversed into their conversation. Taehyung took out his phone to call Rowon but then he realised he ran out of data to call him. About time,he has such an bad luck.

He spent about half an hour there and honestly at this point he is thinking Rowon stood him up. He had this drink in his hands that he was trying to finish from past half an hour while all these old men talk and Taehyung was kind off glad they didn't included him much.

Just as he was about to just walk out if here because he was tired of waiting,his phone finally rang. It was Rowon.

"Taehyung where the fuck are you?!" He was surprised by the tone of Rowon. Why was he was the one who was angry? he is the one who stood him up.

"What do you mean where i am? i should be asking you that. I am at four seasons"

"Taehyung what? what are you doing there?!? did you stood me up intentionally?" His voice got louder,he was glad casino had its own noise so no one can hear Rowon except him but he still excused himself and walked to an corner where there was no one.

"Stood you up? Rowon what are you talking about? i am here at this hotel where you asked me to meet up"

"Taehyung didn't you read the message i sent you? i told you,change of plans we are going to this another hotel instead! didn't you read that?" The older questioned him,making Taehyung let out an unbelievable sigh.

Taehyung took the phone off his ear and infront of him as he went to messages to see if his boyfriend really messaged him.

My baby❤
Change of plans tae,come to this hotel instead.
[LOCATION]
delievered 45 minutes ago

He reached this hotel 45 minutes ago and because of all the conversation with Mr.Kang,he didn't even read his boyfriend message. He yelled at Rowon for no reason,its his own fault.

"Baby,im so sorry i didn't r-read the message and now i have been here for-"

"Just leave it Taehyung. Come home,im going home too. I am not in mood anymore" Without saying another word,Rowon hung up the phone. Taehyung let out a disappointed sigh as he walked back to the director.

"Thank you for inviting me here Mr.Kang,I'll take my leave" Taehyung said to him,politely.

"Anytime Taehyung,Did you got stood up?"

"No,i got the location wrong. So stupid of me i know. I will take my leave,you guys enjoy your night" He said to them as he took his coat off the chair and walked out of that place with his head held down.

Taehyung finally reached their house as he parked his car in the garage,he saw Rowon's Mercedes Benz in the garage which meant Rowon was indeed home too. He quickly got out of the car and walked into his porch. He took out his keys from his pocket and unlocked the door to get in. Once he got in he saw how all of the lights were off and only kitchen light was on.

"Was Rowon asleep?" Taehyung thought to himself because of how quite it was in house with all these lights closed. He shrugged the thought off.

He went towards their room and slowly opened the door,revealing the room in which lights were off too. His gaze shifted towards the bed as he saw his boyfriend,sleeping. It was only 10pm why is he already asleep?

Taehyung felt the guilt,thinking Rowon is probably mad at him for being so careless. Only if he would have read the goddamn message,tonight would have been alot of fun. He sighed,burrying his feelings inside as he went inside the bathroom to change.

He realised he couldn't even show off to Rowon in person of how good he looked,he put so much effort in looking pretty and he didn't even got to show him. It made him pretty upset,this is literally one of his favourite looks. A disappointing feeling was inside his chest,slowly took off his clothes,putting them aside on the hanger as a disappointing sigh escaped his lips.

He decided to take a bath so his mood can lighten a little and the bad feeling inside his chest will soothen out too. He got inside the bathtub as the warm water was all around him. He laid down with only his head out of the water. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes.

After another hour in bath tub,he finally decided to get out and just head to sleep too. Even though he was really hungry,he hadn't ate anything since 3pm and now its going to midnight in an hour. His mood is too off to go out and make something so he is just going to sleep it off.

He dried himself with the towel and quickly wore his silk pyjama set. He took out the hair dryer and dried his hair with it. After doing his night routine,he finally got out of the bathroom to see Rowon still asleep.

Walking towards the other side of bed he took off the slippers and slowly got on the bed,trying not to wake up his boyfriend. He moved closer to him and placed a kiss on his head,mutteirng a sorry as he layed beside him. It didn't took him too much time to just drift into sleep because he was really tired from today anyway.

The sunshine was falling right onto Taehyung eyes who groaned in annoyance. He is definitely not an morning person. He slowly tried to open his eyes as his hand went on the side table to get his phone to check the time. It was 11am,he was glad he didn't had any morning schedule so he could sleep in if he wants to.

He looked beside him,seeing no one beside. Did Rowon already woke up earlier than him? before he could get up he heard some type of noise coming from living room. Was Rowon watching news in the morning? did something happen because thats unusual for them,as popular actors they try to avoid news as much as they can because of the shit they have to say for them.

Taehyung was actually worried for a second. He got off the bed and wore his sleepers,he rubbed his eyes trying to stay awake. He walked out of the room with his phone in his hand. As soon as he got out,his phone started to ring.

Manager
Accept | Decline

"Hello?" Taehyung answered in a raspy voice,still making his way to the living room. He saw Rowon looking at the screen intensely as he wasn't even sittng.

"Taehyung,where are you right now?!" he heard the panicked voice of His manager and immediately knew something was wrong.

"I am at my home,is everything okay?...Rowon what is happening?" Taehyung asked Rowon who literally glared at him.

"See it for yourself" Rowon said to him pointing towards the TV.

"where were you last night Taehyung?" His manager asked him,Taehyung eyebrows furrowed.  He looked at the TV to see his face all over it with some news anchor saying something.

"I was out i-i-just wait manager-nim,I'll call you back" Taehyung put his phone down finally giving the screen his full attention.

"Actor Kim Taehyung who recently won Actor of the year in KBS Drama Awards and was the main lead in huge blockbuster movie which broke into US market got into a huge scandal. He was seen yesterday at 8pm in the 'Four seasons' five star hotel,going inside with the director of his latest movie "First Love". Many people who saw them inside,saw them going into an elevator and inside the hotel room. Many speculate They were involvedwith eschither sexually. The big question is,is this how Kim Teahyung gets his main lead roles in huge movies? is this the reason behind Kim Taehyung's success?" The news anchor said all that with a serious face.

They showed the video of a shot taken from affar of him talking with the director and going inside. Taehyung never felt this panicked his whole life as this was not as it seemed. Just when he thought that was it,she started to speak again.

"Not only that,he was seen too dressed up for this. Later on found in a casino with bunch of the other directors. Allegedly this is not the first time he was seen inside a hotel with men much older than him and in a higher postion than him,who were definitely not his boyfriend, Rowon. Knetizens believes he should resign from his position for commiting such an inappropriate act as he is setting an bad example for younger generation and ruining other actors image with his disgusting acts with men twice his age. Many are already burning his merchandise and bunch of sponsors have dropped him. He did all that despite having a lover,was those gigs worth losing a lover? i d-" Before she could continue,Rowon turned off the TV. Taehyung looked down at Rowon's phone to see the scandal opened.

Taehyung eyes were watering up with tears,he felt his chest get tightened as this suffocating feeling surrounded him. His eyes shifted towards his boyfriend who had a concerned expression on his face.

He hated this,he hated all of this alot. Ge felt his whole body slowly loosing itself. One of his biggest fears is getting misunderstood and thats what is happening right now. Before ecen contacting his agency about it,he needs to clear it up for his lovely boyfriend.

"Rowon,This is not true. I know you must be thinking i stood you up for some old men but please you know thats not true. You know i got the location wrong and was there just at the bad time,please tell me you don't believe them!!" Taehyung pleaded as his cries could be heard. Rowon showed no expression again.

"I dont know Taehyung. They sound pretty convincing. Did you really cheat on me with directors ?!? were those roles more worth it than me. I texted you the location,yet you still didn't showed up until i called you half an hour later. If this is all a huge coincidence,what about others? how many other people did you sleep with me beside me while we are in this relationship Taehyung-ah?" He asked him,putting his best sad face on,pretending that he was actually hurt when instead he was so happy everything turned the way he wanted it to.

"N-no Rowon ofcourse not. I love you i wont ever cheat on you. I wont swoop that low,dont tell me you believe their words over mine? someone is trying to set me up baby,i would never do that" Taehyung exclaimed,feeling just more tears roll down his cheeks.

"Who will set you up Taehyung tell me,Lets just sue whoever it is. Do you have any enemies?!"

"I...i dont know who could it be" He munbled,making Rowon lips curl into a smirk which went unnoticed by Taehyung.

"Tae,look at me in the eyes and honestly tell me if this all is true or not. Just say the word and i will believe you and will fight with you through this" Rowon took Taehyung's hands in his as he rubbed his palm. Taehyung lifted his head up making eye contact.

"This is not true. I would never do that to you,i would never sleep with any directors,i got where i am today with my own talent and not sleeping with some old men in higher positions. Even if i had to i wont because i know i have a loving boyfriend who i love alot,that i would never cheat on. This is all false information,someone is trying to set me up" Taehyung said these words like it was his last. He didn't hesistate at all because he really wasn't lying.

He saw Rowon expression soften as he pulled him close. Rowon wiped his tears and engulfed him in a hug. Pulling him closer to his chest. For some reason Taehyung still wasn't satisifed,he knows its hard right now as the whole world is out there against him but atleast his boyfriend believes him. He was grateful for Rowon. Meanwhile Rowon just smirked as he patted Taehyung back,everything is going so perfect.

Taehyung phone once again rang again. He saw how mnay notifications he was getting,his phone was blowing up. His manager was calling him again. He accepted the call.

"Hello?"

"Taehyung please dont hang up on me again. This situation is really fucking risky for your career so please lets not panic okay. The CEO wants you here right now,so just come and do whatever he says because you really dont have a choice,we will most probably hold a press conference so please be ready for that" The manager spoke up.

"I know,i am on my way. I want to you to know too that i didn't do it,i didnt sleep with anyone" Taehyung wanted his manager to know he isn't a bad person.

"I know Taehyung-sshi,i have been with you for more than 8 years,i know you are talented,you dont need to do that for success. Try not to panic,we don't want what happened two months ago to repeat" His manager told him as he came out two months ago and it wss probably the hardest time for him. He had mental breakdowns everytime he went out and he cried himself to sleep. It took him two months to recover yet everything to crumble on him again.

"I-I will try"

"Taehyung,listen there is going to be media outside the company building. Dont answer anything unless its completely neccessary, I will sent some guards when you reach here so be safe" His manager warned him. Taehyung hummed as response as he finally hung up the call.

Standing up from the couch as he started to walk back to his room witb Rowon following him. "what did your manager said?"

"He said we will hold a press conference right away to clear up this because situation is getting too out of control. I will be heading to the company building right away"

"Should i come with you too?" Rowon offered to come but Taehyung didn't wanted him to be burdened with his problems.

"No Rowon you already are doing alot by trusting me so just thank you for that. I know its hard for you too to see me like this so its better if i could give you your own space right now" only if Taehyung knew.

Taehyung was inside his car as he texted his manager to sent Guards because the outside was not safe for him right now. He expected some people but this place was filled with media. Bunch of people with cameras and mics just waiting to bombard him with their questions.

He saw Guards coming towards his car as they opened the door for him. Taehyung got out as immediately bunch of flashes started to flash on his face with people just asking him questions after questions. Thankfully he didnt got pushed alot because of the gaurds but the flashes and the absurd questions were making him lose it.

"Did you really cheat on your partner for men twice your age?"

"Did you only came out so more male with high postions would sleep with you?"

"What other hotels did you took the other men?!"

"For how long have you been sleeping with director Kang??"

"Did you paid someone to leak this all information for publicity?!"

Yeah,he really doesn't know what to do. Just how low do these people think of him. He tried to ignore them as much as he could so he wont just start crying here because of how his reputation went down just because of one scandal. How is sexuality is being ridiculed for a scandal that is not even true. Its hard,its really fucking hard.

Taehyung safely made it inside. He wasted no time into just running into the CEO'S office. He knocked once and just got in,to see bunch of others.

"Finally you are here,sit down Taehyung. Now would you like to explain what is going on? Tell us honestly Taehyung because if you lie right now it wont be good for you later and we wont be able to defend you too" The CEO asked him with as serious expression.

"Its not true,nothing they are saying is true. I was just going on a innocent date with my boyfriend,Rowon. We were going to have a dinner at that damned hotel but at last minute Rowon changed the location and i just coincidentally met the director there and thats about it. The director offered me to have drinks with his friends but i refused. I only sat there and did nothing. I didn't even talk with anyone. I am not lying this is the real truth" Taehyung explained them what happened earlier yesterday honestly.

The CEO didn't doubted him thankfully and asked the other people sitting around him to immediately held a press conference. They can't risk getting too late. He knows his CEO is only defending him because he is the money maker of this company,they can't lose his fame.

"Beside this,Taehyung do you have any idea who could have leaked all of this information? because if it was just dispatch,they would usually contact us first for money but they didn't this time. There is someone else who planned all this,do you have any idea who could do this?" The CEO asked him,Taehyung shook his head.

"Ok,Just go to the stylist and change,get ready and then ask your manager to drive you to the location of the conference" The CEO said as he didn't include any further details,dismissing everyone.

"Hello,I am Kim Taehyung, an Actor from RRA Agency. Recently,i was involved in an scandal which was very inappropriate. I am here to clear up the misunderstanding and call out the media for potraying me as someone who i am not. I will start with the most obvious fact. I did not had any type of sexual affair with any director out there especially not Mr.Kang. My fame and success today is not because i paid others with my body,its because of my talent and all my hardwork. I have been in this industry for more than ten years and this is the first time i ever felt this stressed over a scandal because its something that is not me. I never felt this humiliated in my life for something i didn't even do" Taehyung politely tried to explain the situation when he saw someone raise his hand for a question. He nodded for them to ask.

"If you are saying you didn't do all that then what were you doing with Kang Hyungseok in Four seasons at 8pm till 9pm?" The reporter asked him.

"I really didn't wanted to give you details of my personal life but i guess i have to now,I was there for a date with my boyfriend. Due to last minute change my boyfriend decided to change the location. I was clueless and i didn't read his text which made me wait at four seasons longer than i was suppose to. I ran into Mr.Kang there and he offered me to sit with his friends instead of standing alone in the lobby,i didnt wanted to be rude so i accepted his offer. I only sat down with his friends for half an hour,i didn't drank or gambled. I pateintly waited for my boyfriend until he called me because of the changes. I immediately left once i realised i was in wrong location" Taehyung answered him.

"Do you have any proof of what you are saying?"

"Yes,i could show you my text messages with my boyfriend. You could also ask Kang Hyungseok he would tell you exactly what i said" Taehyung mentioned the director name.

"Well about that, Kang Hyungseok refuse to answer anything about this scandal,same goes for other directors. One mentioned they didn't even met you that night" One of the reporters answered which made Taehyung heart stop. This just looks so much worse. Who is silencing all these directors too?

"With all respect,the one lied. I was indeed there,you could check hotel's security footage. The rumour about me going into a room is fake,stop making assumptions without any proof. Check the cameras if you think im lying. Once again,I would never do that. I have a boyfriend who i love very much so i would really appreciate if media would stop using my sexuality as a tool to blame me for things i didn't even do.
Any other questions?" Taehyung asked them,he saw no more hands raised. With that the conference was dismissed.

Even though he cleared up almost everything in conference. Everything was never the same again. Some people  who were mostly his fans believed him but the locals and Knetz didnt at all. He knows its mere jealousy but for some reason he can't help but blame himself. Do people really think he is that untalented that he needs to sleep with other men for roles like some prostitute?

Even after all that,he wasn't offered any roles in a movie for next 7 months. He barely had sponsorship deals and everyone was just pulling out from the contracts. His fanbase decreased,his appearence on TVs decreased. Many major brands even removed him as their brand ambassador. He had a huge downfall,he was at his lowest for months. His career was barely surviving. He was glad that Kim Namjoon existed because in the end he was the one who called him in for a role in his movie (not the one they are shooting right now).

There wasn't even one night in those 7 months where he did not cried himself to sleep. He would find himself shaking uncontrollably in middle of night with tears running down his face. He was in a dark place and there was no getting out of it. He felt scared to get out of his homes as the flashes hurt. Those questions and pathetic accusations would make him lose his mind.

Even his social media was not safe at all. He had people calling him the f word with bunch of other homophobic slurs. He got sent death threats everywhere. The hate was overpowering the people who support him. Mentally he was barely there.

He was glad that Rowon supported him no matter what. Only if he knew that it was all Rowon's fault he had to go through all that in first place. Rowon saw what Taehyung was going through instead of feeling bad,he said he felt like Taehyung deserved all that.

Which is just one of others reasons why Taehyung should have left then and there because after that,thats when all the abuse and manipulation started because Taehyung saw how no one except Rowon believed him fully so he felt like he had no one but him.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
this chapter wasn't suppose to be this long oh my god. Welp lol,i just wanted to show you how easy Taehyung was for Rowon to manipulate. We will start again with present from next chapter. This book is about to be 40 chapter maximum,dont worry we have a long way to go,though Rowon scene will be over soon so just hang on.
Hope yall liked it
love yall
-K