Seokjin had coloured his hair blonde. It's not the first time he was going to meet Sehee with colourful hair but it meant something special today.

He was going to show her his idol persona.

He was nervous since he didn't know how she'd react. He didn't have an ounce of idea because she was acting different. He was scared of what might be going through her mind already. He couldn't shake the night they had spent yesterday. It was too different to ignore.

Maybe, telling her about my occupation might change something, he thought. It might clear that uncomfortable air between them and it was time he told her if he wanted to keep seeing her.

With a bounce to his step and an hopeful smile gracing his full lips, he types in the passcode to Sehee's apartment. He was nervous but that didn't stop him from entering the place he was all too familiar with, a place that made him relax and feel loved.

But his stomach dropped as soon as he is in. There was music being played, the acoustics washing over him with familiarity. The voices singing in the background making his smile fall as he moves in further in the apartment.

Sehee sits on her pink sofa. She's wearing a white dress with light pink flowers on it. His favourite. Her usually straight hair fall down her back in gentle waves, her lips a soft pink matching the flowers on her dress. Her makeup looks light enough but he knows how much effort goes into making it look natural.

But what makes him halt in his steps and take a sharp breath, is the look on her face.

Blank. Her face was completely blank as she kept her eyes trained forward, looking nowhere in particular. Her unsmiling face was something he couldn't recognise at all even though she looked just as breathtaking as ever.

"You have a beautiful voice." Her cold voice breaks the silence despite the song still going on. Seokjin gulps with fear more than nervousness this time. He has never seen his girlfriend like this before and it scares him.

"Sehee-ah..." He started in a small voice but he couldn't find the right words. All the pep talk and preparations didn't matter anymore. Would she even listen to him?

She turns her head, her eyes raking over his tense form but she doesn't move an inch, despite the strong urge to just run to him and tell him that everything is alright, his profession doesn't matter but right now, that's all she has on him. To make this easier.

"Do you know how much trust I placed in you by letting you enter my life?" She questions him in the same monotone. "I-I..." He stutters making her scoff.

"I don't think you understand the seriousness of this issue Mr. Kim." She stands up then, her use of that formal tone chaffing at his rapidly beating heart. "Sehee, please..."

She raises her hand, cutting him off. Her whole demeanor screams disappointment, anger and hurt. Seokjin wants nothing more than to just hug her tightly and tell her that he's still the same person. Yet, he knows. He knows, he can't convince her by the look in her eyes. She's not someone who can be easily influenced, especially when she has made up her mind.

"You took me on dates, you bought me, flowers, chocolates, expensive gifts, cooked for me. I never forced you, I never asked you because I liked you as a person. I thought I didn't care about what you do but guess what? The jokes on me."

Seokjin's eyes widened as her words registered in his mind. The ball in the pit of his stomach fell deeper. He took a step closer, sweat trickling down the side of his face as he forced himself to ask, "What are you saying? You want me to give up my job?"

Sehee sighed, shaking her head. "No. I don't want you to give up your job." Another step brought her within his arms length. His hands itched to touch her but he controlled himself.

"Then what do you want? Is being an Idol such a blasphemy to you?" He asked with a spark of anger in his voice. She had told him herself, that she didn't care what he did for a living.

"And what if it is?" She said calmly, staring straight into Seokjin's stormy eyes. He staggered back a step, not wanting to believe what he just heard. Would she really leave him just because he's an idol?

"W-What?" At his desperate whisper, Sehee turned around, not strong enough to see the look on his face as she slashed him with her venomous words.

"I am not opposed to you being an idol, Seokjin. I'm opposed to what it'll do to me. I-I'm not willing to spend the rest of my life keeping my eyes behind me, not knowing when a crazy fan might attack me. I-"

"I can tell my company and ask them to assign a bodyguard for you." He retaliated, his voice desperate as he came to stand right behind her.

Sehee bit her lip, trying not to break right now. "I can't agree to that, Seokjin. I can't be tied down and you know it."

"No one is going to tie you up. You'll be as free as-"

"As you are?" Sehee cut him mid-sentence, turning around and glaring at him. "Tell me, Mr. Kim. How free are you? How often can you visit your parents and friends without a worry of being followed by a crazy fan? Don't feed me these promises of keeping me safe, okay? I've seen you. I've seen you covering yourself up and keeping a  check of your surroundings, to keep your Identity and whereabouts hidden. I know, you try to hide my existence too but how much longer? How long till someone puts two and two together? How long till my safety is jeopardized and I become a burden on you?"

Silent tears start to fall unbidden down her face as she talks. With glossy eyes, he comes closer, cupping her face with one hand while the other settles on her waist. This seems to trigger more tears and shuts Sehee up as she continues to cry.

Voice shaky from unshed tears, Seokjin speaks up. "I know it all, baby. I knew you'd be dragged into this glamourous jail but I couldn't stop myself. I get lonely and I craved to be loved. You gave me all of it and I continued to fall deeper into this abyss without a care of the world. I only cared for my happiness and I'm so damn sorry about it. I'm sorry I didn't warn you earlier even though everyone kept telling me. I'm sorry that I didn't care about your feelings but trust me, none of my actions were insincere. I love you. I love you so much that I can do anything for you. Please, let's talk this out calmly, okay? We-we can't be hasty. We need to think. I'm sure we'll come up with something. I promise, you won't lose your freedom and you'll never be a burden to me."

As Seokjin's heartfelt speech came to an end, Sehee had calmed down enough to look up into his eyes. She saw the hope, adoration, love, everything reflecting in his eyes but her eyes? They stayed flat, determined.

She pushed away his hands away from her body, putting a much needed distance between them. She saw the way his smile fell away, the emotions in his eyes replaced by hurt.

"I can't do this, Seokjin. No matter what you say, no matter what you do. I can't continue this relationship, being cautious forever, feeling suffocated by watchful eyes. I can't live with the uncertainty that during one of your tours you won't give into that craving, that loneliness of yours as I wait patiently at home for you. I just can't and you can't make this work."

Seokjin closed his eyes, tears trickling down his smooth cheeks even as he tried to control them, his fists clenched by his side. "You won't reconsider, will you? You are willing to break all those promises you made? Was last night your goodbye?"

Gulping heavily, she looked away and nodded. Her heart was breaking, burning as she watched him pull something out from his overcoat. He put it on her coffee table as he took a step closer to her.

"I love you, Sehee and I know you are mad that I didn't tell you sooner and I'm sorry for it." She gasped as he suddenly fell onto his knees his head down as tears fell freely from his eyes. "Don't leave me, please. I can't live without you, Sehee-ah. I can't live without you!" He finally broke down in sobs and the sight shocked her so much, she couldn't move, only watch with wide eyes.

"You need to leave." She whispered in a strained voice. Seokjin only shook his head, his proud shoulders shaking as he continued to sob, begging. "Please, Seokjin! Leave!" She screamed this time, sobs whacking her body with a breathtaking force. "Don't make this harder than it already is! Please..."

"You are making it like this." Seokjin countered with a completely devastated face. "Why must you push me away? Nothing has to change, Sehee. This won't change anything."

"Yes, it will. Please stop and just leave...." She put a hand on her mouth as her body shook with the force of her sobs.

Seokjin quickly stood up and engulfed her in a hug. She doesn't push him away, instead clutched him for dear life.
He feels a hope enter his breaking heart as she keeps on burying her face in his chest and let's him hold her.

"See, Sehee. We can't do without each other. Please don't push me away for this reason. You told me you don't care and I told you I'll keep you safe no matter what. We just need to talk." He said, positive that she'll finally listen to him.

And she did listen to him. But the truth was, it was all just an act to keep him away from danger. Though her heart hurt, she was determined. She had promised to keep him safe, just like she had promised to always love him.

With that resolve in mind, she pushes him away suddenly, making his heart shatter all over again.

"You'll learn to live without me. I'll learn to live without you but I can't live in constant fear for the rest of my life! Don't you get it? I just need you to leave. Forget these few months ever happened. You'll find someone better." Sehee said with finality in her voice and he knew he had lost the battle, still....

"I'll never find someone better, Sehee. I know you won't back down, I can see it in your eyes that you are determined but I can't leave without saying this. I love you and I'll keep on loving you no matter what you say. You are it for me!"

Sehee watched him turn around, trying to wipe away the tears that didn't seem to stop and leave. The door slammed shut, making Sehee flinch and look down at what he left.

It was rectangular object, the cover colourful. Reading the title she realised it was their newly released album.

Falling onto her knees, she grabbed the album, hugging it close to her chest as she poured all her sadness and heartbreak into her tears. She continued to curse whatever force was out there to put her in such a situation. She cursed herself for breaking Seokjin's heart. She cursed her bad fate for making her life as messed up as it was.

She wished, it was all different....

~~~~
A/N:

Sorry for the long chapter 😅.

Thank you for reading!! 💜💜