As He held Goldi, images from Cadmar's past flashed in his mind. His fight with Eyphah, being freed from LSOP by Scarlet and Princess Winter.

Watching Cygnus and Corvus die before his eyes, covered in their own and each others' blood.

Nothing mattered more to Cadmar more than Goldi's safety. Except maybe having it be equal to the well being of her little sister, Crescent. He wouldn't let Goldi go with him to contain a dangerous gas that could morph her into a monster.

Despite how she was acting, Goldi was still frail from her time in the Lunar prison and from her cyborg operation. He saw the shadows under her eyes, the slight limp in her walk. She was playing the pain off well, or her body had just grown so accustomed to it she'd become numb to the agony.

The thought made his stomach lurch. His heart was heavy with the fact that after leaving Goldi to fend of herself, she was tortured in both her mind and body. Locked in a room for ten years, left to rot, not to die.

He felt responsible. He should have stayed back, to keep her safe from all that trouble. How could her abandon her without a fight? Leave her with no one to protect her from those who hurt her? She had given everything to protect her family, and given the chance, she would have fought for him to stay too. Because she could never back down from a fight, even if it meant saving her own skin.

That's when Cad tried to rationalize not telling Goldi that he was going to be taken. Had he told her, she would have fought, probably got caught, then sentenced to some form of punishment. Had she gone sooner, Levana may not have taken the same course of action she had when Goldi was originally brought before her. She could have decided to torture her more, take away more of her body.

She could have sentenced Goldi to death.

Cadmar compared the events of then to now. By making her stay put, by keeping her in the dark, she might live another day. If he did this, she could be with Crescent and be the big sister she'd dreamed of being as a child. She could help Queen Selene with running the kingdom and searching for more of the secrets Levana stowed into hiding in this wretched place.

She could start her own family, and be 1,000 times better at being a mother than hers was.

Cad knew what going down there would lead to. He knew the risks, the possibility of not coming back. Yet, the idea of keeping Goldi safe so she could survive this ... it made him strong. The idea of Goldi smiling again gave him the courage to go.

Cad wouldn't have traded Goldi's warm embrace for anything in the world ... still, he had to let her go to accomplish the mission he was ready to embark on. By "ready", he actually felt "it's not like I'm ever going to feel ready for this so I'm going anyway". Sure, he was scared that something would go wrong – which was lively to happen as he was a bad luck magnet. Of course he was nervous, the rapid tapping of his foot revealed that.

To keep Goldi out of danger, Cadmar would do anything. He couldn't let her be in pain again while he had breath in his lungs.

Painstakingly, Cad took his hands from the embrace and cupped Goldi's shoulders, pushing her away from him. Her eyes were glazed with fatigue, her pupils dilated, her lips pressed. His heart told him to take her back into his arms and never let her go. So many words caught in his throat that he desperately wanted to tell her. That he'd missed her, he loved her, he would always be there to protect her.

Well, that is, if he survived this.

But he couldn't tell her that. He'd lied to keep her from insisting that she go with him. In his mind, he was already formulating a plan so that his life was the only one at risk. He didn't know Wolf, but he could see how profound his bond with Scarlet was. He owed it to the woman who broke him out of LSOP to keep Wolf from being harmed.

Plus, if Cad was right, he would need Wolf for later. The group would need someone as strong as him to .... well, that was a last resort anyway. It's not like Cadmar was usually right about these kinds of things. Science was not his favorite subject, as science created the monster he appeared to be.

So if he went down fighting, if he died in an act that was meant to protect others, it would mean LSOP didn't win. Because their army of soldiers had not succeeded in creating the monster they meant for him to become. They'd failed.

That was enough for him.

He could barely speak. There was so much he wanted to tell her. So much he wanted to apologize for, to admit to her.

Though none of that mattered now. Except for one things.

Holding her gaze, he let his hand cup her cheek, shooting warmth up his arm. The world faded away, everything around them useless to them. He thought he saw Goldi gulp due to nerves, heightening his own. So many unspoken words, so little time, so much to make up for.

He loosened his jaw, forcibly. Taking in a breath, he ignored the stares of the people around them. The servants and guards walking past them faded from view. The light dimmed in his eyes, creating a more bearable environment. One thought played in a loop in his mind.

You have to tell her.

"Goldi, .. I- ... I". His mouth couldn't form the words. Those three stupid words. He tried and tried, but the phrase hung in the air, unfinished. Not matter how many times he tried.

He couldn't say it then go off and get killed. He couldn't make her lose anyone else. Not now, when she was supposed to be overjoyed at her release from prison and the news of her sister. His heart screamed at him, screeching for him to finally tell her. He'd waited for years and years to tell her, to show it, to prove his feelings for her.

His mind told him another story. His rationality told him to say something, anything but that. He couldn't break her again. He couldn't abandon her again. Not like this. Not by leaving her and never coming back. That's how she lost her sister, her brothers, and her father. He couldn't put her through that again. In those few precious seconds, he let both sides of the argument rattle off inside him. The conversation nearly tore his heart to shreds.

In the end, he knew what he was going to say. Another breath slipped into his lungs, preventing droplets of water from stealing into his eyes.

"Goldi," he said. "I ... I think you should get some rest while I'm gone. You need to recuperate from your surgery."

Half way through his "confession", the light in Goldi's eyes vanished, scratching the back of his throat with a thirst to bring it back. To stop it from leaving in the first place.

There was no going back now. He had to do this. He brushed a rebellious strand of hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear, gaining a smile from her. Unfortunately, Cadmar knew that smile all too well. It was a forced smile, one to hide that she was dying inside.

He tried to lift her spirits once more. "I'll be back soon. I promise."

Goldi's eyes went wide. Fear clenched her jaw to a close. As if the forced smile was bad. This was watching Goldi enter a slaughter house. She was petrified now.

He feigned ignorance of her expression and pressed his forehead to hers. "Goodbye," he whispered, for his farewell was only for her. With one finally reassurance, Cad let Goldi go, and trekked down the hall, to the lab where the vial gas was waiting for them.

Or, more accurately, waiting for Cadmar.

.................

Goldi was frozen in place. Her final words with Cad reeling in her head. She couldn't move or speak, blink or breathe. She was a statue, one made from terror.

She couldn't decide whether or not she was grateful for her cybernetic additions now. She'd been weary before. Now, she was either livid or relieved. Because of them, she knew something she doubted Cadmar had intended to tell her. Stars, she bet it was why he told her to stay back.

When he told her "I'll be back soon. I promise," her retinal scanner registered it as a lie. A little orange blip she'd learned could tell you if someone was deceiving you. Her heart burned, twisting with a thousand questions as to why he lied.

Did he believe it would take longer than he hoped to contain the gas? Did he have doubts that he could return in the time he called "soon"? Did he not intend on coming back to where she was waiting for him?

Or worse. Was the time of his return not the lie indicated by her retinal scanner. Was it ... the thought of him coming back to her? Did he think he would not succeed in containing the gas? Did he fear he would not make it back?

Did he think he was going to die?

When Goldi's eyes readjusted to her surroundings, she found Cadmar and Wolf gone. The others were minding their own business as they talked to one another. Scarlet, Carswell, and Crescent all huddled together in a circle to discuss whatever was on their minds.

Rather than stay around for small talk, Goldi used her map of the palace to find the quickest way to the Lab .... and the Arsenal.

Goldi had never handled a gun before in her life. But she'd had some practice with an ax and a knife. And what a time like this to learn how to shoot. She bet she was going to need it in case any bug were down there. Like her least favorites, which were called Levana's Spineless Cockroaches.

Plus, the last time she entered a fight, she'd been without a weapon, and she lost. The same goes for the two incidents before that. She was going to snag a few weapons and nothing could stop her.

Leaving the three behind was easy enough. Down the series of halls that led to the Arsenal, no guards were stationed to keep pedestrians from doing whatever they pleased. When this was over, Goldi was going to make a few suggestions to Cinder about how to keep crazy stuff like this situation they were currently in from happening again. Like, keeping guards in place to keep people from tampering with deadly experiments?

Goldi entered the Arsenal without a hitch, and scanned the room for anything she knew how to use. A completely metal ax was mounted on the far wall, but was strapped to her back when she was down with it. She snatched up a dagger and tied the holster around her thigh. Lastly, she took a pistol and two cartridges of its ammo.

Surprisingly, her hood didn't get in the way in the slightest. It almost felt all too natural for her to be sporting the long, black clothing. It suited her, and made her feel comfortable.

Soon, that comfort faded away. As Goldi turned to leave, pistol in hand, a figure stood in the doorway of the Arsenal. Blocking her path to the Lab and her way to Cad.

How did she know someone was going to be standing in her way?