A pounding headache is what wakes me to a dark room. My head feels like it's about to burst. I try squeezing my eyes shut and flashes of the dream I just had play through my mind again.

'I love you, Isaiah, I do.'

I haven't had a positive dream about Meghan in a long time. No dream has ever felt so real. It was like I could actually feel and taste her.

Glancing at the alarm clock on the nightstand I notice it's already eight in the morning. I also notice a glass of water and a bottle pills next to the clock.

How?

Cringing as my head feels even closer to exploding when I sit up, I grab the bottle of pills and take two. When I set the bottle on the desk I notice I piece of paper.

We really need to talk! Call me when you can function. You're not in the best state right now.

-Megs

Shit! She saw me wasted. Fuck! The urge to vomit hits me like a baseball bat hitting a home run and I spring out of the bed, rushing to the bathroom.

After vomiting, I simply strip and jump into the shower. I smell like a liquor cabinet.

Meghan left without telling me so I decided to drink. Then she showed up, saw me wasted, apparently got me in bed, then left again.

She probably thinks I'm a drunk now. Groaning, I rest my head against the shower tiles. I'm not a drunk. I just made a bad decision yesterday. Now she's not going to want to even see me. Or let me around her son. I'm screwed.

Turning the water off and grabbing a towel I get out and walk into my bedroom.

Glancing at the note again I see the way she signed it. Megs.

She signed it using her nickname I gave her shortly after we started dating.

Megs. I love you, Isaiah, I do. Megs. I love you, Isaiah, I do. Megs. I love you.

I wasn't dreaming. I couldn't have been dreaming. She was here.

I love you, Isaiah, I do.

I'm standing in my room, I towel hanging on my hips and jeans in my hands. I'm completely frozen.

She loves me? I love you, Isaiah, I do. She loves me. She loves me!

Five minutes later I'm running out to my truck, tripping over snow and slipping in ice.

After speeding the whole way, I'm whipping into Meghan's apartment parking lot and jump out of my truck, not even bothering to close the door.

Forgetting about the elevator I rush up three flights of stairs to get to her floor.

Taking deep breaths to calm my erratic breathing, I knock on the door.

I haven't even thought about what I'm gonna say. I just- maybe I'll know when I see her.

The door is suddenly pulled open.

"Meghan."

I'm plunged into a state of complete furry seeing who's behind the door. Without his fucking shirt.

"Not Meghan." Jeremy the jackass laughs. I glance behind him trying to spot Meghan. I need to see her. I need to see her or I'm going to give Jeremy the black eye I was too heartbroken to give him in high school. "She's in the shower." He holds the door open wider. "If you wanna come in and wait."

The smile on his face makes me want to kill him. I hate him. I hate everything about him. Before I can stop myself, I push my way into the apartment and pin him against the wall with my arm.

"What the hell man!" He shouts and I growl. "Nice to see you too."

"Shut up Jeremy." My heart is screaming at me that this can't be what I think it is. But my mind? My mind knows better. It knows that yet again I've come second to Jeremy.

Is this what she needed to talk with me about? The fact that Jeremy is back in town?

I almost want to laugh at myself, I'm so desperate for Meghan to love me I was able to convince myself I hadn't been dreaming.

A squeak from the floor causes me to look behind Jeremy where Meghan stands looking scared.

"Isaiah?" Her soft whisper rings through my ears, making me want to run to her and wrap her in my arms. But I can't. I can't because she has this douche.

I try to hide my hurt by giving her the harshest glare I can muster before pushing off Jeremy and storming out of the apartment. The door rattles from the amount of force I use to close it.

"Isaiah!" I hear Meghan call after me but I ignore her. She doesn't need me, she's got Jeremy. "Isaiah!"

I continue ignoring her and make my way out of the apartment building. The cold air barely cooling my fury.

I can not believe I thought she loved me. I guess we're not meant to be together. First she's pregnant, then Jeremy's around again.

My steps come to a sudden halt. My name being called by Meghan sounds muffled as my mind goes into overdrive.

She's pregnant. Jeremy is back. My stomach clenches at the sudden thought. This is Jeremy's baby. It has to be. The abrupt realization has me bent over puking for the second time today.

When she told me she was pregnant I saw our future. She was sitting in the couch reading a cookbook while I played on the ground with our baby. Then, when she told me the baby wasn't mine, it was like the house we were in caught on fire. Meghan got out with the baby but I was stuck inside. Stuck watching as they went across the street happily while was suffocated by smoke.

"Have you gotten faster or have I gotten slower?" Meghan huffs trying to catch her breath and breaking my thoughts. "What- ew. Are you still hungover?!" She smacks me in the back. "And why are you walking away from me?" There's a small teasing smile on her face making me want to forget everything and hold her.

Ignoring her questions, I straighten up and ask her the question I'm not sure I even want to know the answer to.

"Is he Jeremy's?"

"What?" The smile falls from her face. There's my answer but I need to hear her say it. I need her to make it real.

"The baby, it's Jeremy's right?"

"What?! No." Her face is wrinkled in confusion and disgust. "Oh god, never in a million years would Jeremy and I..." She doesn't finish the sentence and I'm glad. I don't need a mental image. "He's like a brother."

"He didn't seem like a brother back in high school." I snap still angry. So the baby isn't Jeremy's but it's still not mine. That fact sinking in again.

Hearing what I said Meghan blanches. "What?"

My fists clench as graduation day runs through my head again. "On graduation day when his hands were on you and his tongue was down your throat?" I sarcastically remind her. "He didn't seem like a brother then."

She looks horrified when she asks, "You saw that?"

"Why else do you think is kissed.... I can't remember her name but you know who I'm talking about. Maybe it was immature," I admit. "But I wanted you to feel a fraction of the pain I felt."

She doesn't say anything. She just watches me with tears welling in her eyes.

"I wanted you to fight for us but instead you walked away." My anger has dissipated and is now replaced by complete brokenness. "And maybe it's my fault too. Maybe if I had been a better boyfriend. Or if I'd went after Jeremy instead of trying to get back at you... Maybe you wouldn't be having another man's baby."

"Isaiah."

"Maybe would could have worked through things."

"Isaiah."

"Hell," I chuckle humorlessly. Wondering, for the first time ever, if thing would have been different had I felt with the situation differently. "Maybe we'd be married."

"Isaiah!" Meghan shouts. "I lied. I am so so sorry. I lied. I should have told you the truth."

So the baby is Jeremy's? "You lied about what?"

Her sobs make it hard to understand but I clearly hear what she says.

"The baby, he's yours. I wasn't pregnant before that night. I promise he's yours."

Her sobs are suddenly silenced and the only thing I can hear is the ringing of my own ears.

***
*mic drop.*

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