James

"It's fine. I'm fine." Roslyn tries her very best at hiding the fact that she isn't fine at all. She's not very good at lying. I'm not even reading her mind and I know she's trying to get me to think she is okay with all of this. "The werewolves were going to realize I live around here sooner or later. It was just a matter of time until they found me. And Elise is too dumb to not know we live right next door to each other. So she already knew." She tries to cope with the new information.

"But having your name makes it a lot easier for them to track you. They were just playing a guessing game before if they were trying to locate you. Now, all they have to do it type your name into a computer and pop! your address comes up." I remind her that this isn't good.

Roslyn shrugs. "So let them."

"Roslyn-" I sigh. That isn't a healthy mindset to have.

"What?" She asks as if she doesn't already know why I objected. "There's literally nothing I can do about it now, right? So there's no point in me stressing out about it and ruining the few good things I have in my life right now."

"I mean, I guess you could look at it that way."

"That's how I have to look at it. I'm not going to live the rest of my life in fear of my own shadow. I can't. That would just be letting them win. I don't want to let them win." Roslyn sits down on her bed and then immediately stands back up.

She's too anxious to sit right now. She feels like she needs to be doing something with her body or else she can not relax. Standing is enough to satisfy her needs right now. I can see it in the way she trembles slightly. Her hands shake just enough to be hidden. But I can see them. Her eyes dart back and forth, as if to scan all of her surroundings. She keeps touching her hair. My sister does that when she is nervous too.

"So you're fine then?" I ask to clarify, seeing if she is still going to keep up with this lie. "You're going to stick with that, even though you know I can read your thoughts?"

"I'm fine." Roslyn nods. "I said I was fine."

"Okay then." I nod, disappointed that she won't just tell me the truth. She is trying to put on a brave face just to impress me. But I'm not looking to be impressed. But, I'm not going to press her any further. I did not come here to argue. "So, since you are fine now," I mock her slightly. "Can we finish what we started earlier?" I ask politely, reaching my hand out for her to take.

She places her sweaty hand in mine. It still shakes as she stares at me, confused.

Without making the mistake of hesitating this time I pull her body towards mine and kiss her.

Her body loosens up. Now she realizes what I meant. She is no longer puzzled or confused.

She places her hand on the back of my neck, keeping me close as our lips move together in a dance. Her fingernails tickle the small hairs that stand up on the back of my neck when she touches me. The warmth of her skin against my ice cold body is enough to make me numb.

Her heart beats faster as we move. I know mine would be beating out of my chest at this point if I actually had a working one that still pumped blood through my whole body like hers.

I wonder what it feels like to experience the rush of blood to her cheeks and the feeling of her heart beating so hard another person can feel it through her skin. I wish I could know how it feels to have my blood rushing through me at a rapid pace just because her lips have touched mine. I wonder if it is a pleasant feeling or if it is something you need to get used to.

I wonder what it's like to be alive and experience love.

Author's note: here's another James chapter for you guys! I hope you enjoyed their first real kiss!!