This is for you amazing commenters

Say Something - A Great Big World
The Hunger Games Soundtrack - Parachutes

I led Bucky up to the crest of the hill silently, we look down into the scarred landscape, I dully pointed out landmarks. "There's the old school. The complex in where my family kind of was, the uh, long stretch of buildings there? That's the main stretch of shops and new age stores and stuff. Oo, and there's the awesome cathedral. C'mon." I grabbed Bucky's hand, we jumped to biohazard fence and I tugged him down the slope into the valley.

"What? Where? Ah!" Bucky slipped on the slope, loosing his footing. There wasn't much except dry scrub and dirt, Bucky fell to the ground and started rolling down. I began laughing and slid down after him, we reached the bottom, my hands scratched up a little. Bucky stood, dusting off his arm, before getting the rest off of him. I giggled. "What?" He asked accusingly.

"You dusted off your arm before any other part of you." I laughed. "It's a very important part of you." I smiled.

Bucky frowned before looking down at his metal arm. "Well... I guess. The doctors in Wakanda made it, it's made of some really advanced stuff, they wanted to see if it could be incorporated for a medicinal use."

"They got what they wanted then?" I asked.

Bucky nodded. "It was a very successful operation, I got to keep the arm."

We began to walk and talk as we did so. "So they were supposed to keep the arm?" I scoffed. "Rude."

"I'm sure they would've found something." Bucky spoke quietly, squinting off into the distance, I sighed and took that as my queue.

"It was the battle of New York." I managed, I didn't want to talk about this. Already, my hands were shaking. "The nuclear bomb Tony Stark sent into the portal? There was something about that day, I don't know if it's the proper terminology but... These, portals popped up all around the world, a lot of them were underground and contained, but there was this one where it was just under the town. While some superhero thing is happening on the other side of the planet something triggered the dormant fallout underneath us and the town just blew."

I took a shaky breath, looking down at my feet instead where dirt was infused with ash. A peaceful combination and I lost myself imagining what this was before my world shattered to pieces. This could've been a house, a playground, a part of a road. I realised that grief wasn't because of things, but rather the absence of them. Then I remembered that this could've been someone's bones that I was standing on and I stumbled backwards with a cry.

"Hey." Bucky said softly from behind me, gently letting a hand rest on my shoulder. "It'll be okay." I began to shake again, not from the fear of Mark from the night before but that I was standing on the graveyard of thousands of people, including my parents.

My lip began to tremble, my hands shaking, I kept walking to shake it off. "Tell me about you." I managed. "Why are you here?"

"The world isn't accommodating of superheroes right now." Bucky admitted slowly, wiping away a strand of hair that'd fallen in his eyes. That needs to be cut. I thought to myself. "Especially those that hung with Steve during the Registration Act. They're on the run now, so are we." He shrugged and his tone implied that that was all to it.

I sighed, rolling my eyes. "But what really happened between that time?"

"T'Challa, King of Wakanda, gave us asylum and his doctors fixed all the Hydra programming within me." Bucky shrugged again. Sometimes you gotta force the answers out of this man.

"How'd they do that?" I asked curiously, "what's the Hydra programming?"

"The Hydra programming is what they used to control me to be their assassin." Bucky explained, very patiently. "It was activated by a set of commands."

"Will you tell me those commands?" I toyed, we were walking along a familiar street, my home street. I faltered, I hadn't been here yet. Well, I hadn't been here since the day I ran here in horror. Grief, pain, screams in my ears. Ash thickly floating down around me, burning my skin and causing me to want to scream.

Bucky hadn't noticed my falter. "Uh, probably not."

"Why not?" I managed to tease, "is it because I could send you into a deadly rage monster?"

Bucky winced, frowning. "Maybe it's just because I don't know them?"

I scoffed, my efforts becoming more and more halfhearted. "I betcha I could figure them out."

"I don't doubt that you could." Bucky huffed, I shrugged and kept walking.

I turned another corner and instantly stopped. My mouth open and my lip trembling. I clenched my eyes shut so I wouldn't register, wouldn't see. I wasn't here, I was back at the dorm, sleeping, and this was a very bad memory that I'd picked up from some person or other, a very vivid memory, but a memory nonetheless.

"Oh God." I cried out, I almost fell to my knees but Bucky caught me, just holding me close in a tight embrace. I sobbed into him, caving in. It was here, that I finally realised that my parents were gone. They weren't hiding around a corner or secretly safe in a bunker, they were dead. With their eyes fluttered shut and their bodies tangled in a horrible, desperate way that held through death. I remember clenching my father's shirt, screaming for him to wake up. I remember brushing my fingers over my mother's lukewarm hand. It'd only been a couple of terrible, terrible moments but the life in her had almost already seeped away.

I remember screaming, a desperate scream ripped from my body. A scream that I hoped would make my parents stop, turn around, see their broken daughter and return, just for her.

I crushed into Bucky, all the raw pain bursting forth. A large tear in which I broke forth whatever I'd been holding in.

The prolonged physical contact with Bucky caused his memories to surface in my mind. Screams that'd make throats raw. Bullets that tear through flesh and metal. Blood, rivers of it, forming patterns and drawing circles until that was the only thing I could see. Not like the other times, I didn't suppress it, I saw more. Joyous celebrations for the loss of more friends, Steve's face hovering over my broken form, a face of relief, bringing lightness and hope. The faces, the places, and the words became so hopelessly intertwined that I wasn't sure of who I was anymore.

I wasn't sure of what I was, what year I was born in, I couldn't tell the name of my best friend or our hometown. At that point, I couldn't tell anything.

My eyes fluttered open again, looking around. Ash still floated to the ground imitating innocent snow. Buildings were collapsed upon themselves, caved in, broken. Everywhere I looked was broken. Brokers buildings, broken ground, broken dreams.

And that's where I found myself, I knew who I was. Simply, broken.