i want to see you.

this part somewhere
in the very depth of me
craves to see you.

it wonders how you would be.
beautiful and strong perhaps.
ambitious and loving maybe.
this feeling that is consuming me inside
won't get out of this pod of my nurtured body
until the day my dark brown eyes
are filled–no, blessed– at the sight
of your existence, a gift from jannat.

my darling,
i wonder how you would be like.
would you favour my dark brown hair
that will cascade down your shoulders
in their honey glazed chocolatey colour?
i wish you would
for that is what made me unique
among all the other dark ravens.

i want to cradle your sweet face
within the palms of my hands that will feel you
and make my gaze affixed with yours.
will your eyes twinkle,
have that glaze of love and mischief
reflecting like it does with mine
when I see the first man who will be in your life?
or will it have his piercing quality
of looking into the depth of one's soul
that will have me captured,
oh so easily, in their lovely trap?
or maybe a little bit of both,
not disappointing each other.

i want to see you smile always my darling.
but i do wonder,
will that smile light up our worlds,
the way him and i will fill those bulbs
for you to light them up with life?
i pray so.

oh, don't fear love, my jaan.
he will love you.
i promise he will love you,
the way mine loves me.
the pride of his heart.
he will cherish you with everything of him
leaving no pages empty of your life
without him ever surfacing, even as little word, in them.

i want to hear your laughter,
shimmering symphonies of joy,
echoing through the home we will build,
you filling the music
while we would be your generous audience
with satisfaction and happiness beaming.

don't be ever heartbroken by us.
i want you to spill every stories
relating to the stupid heart of ours
as i share mine with you through our bonding
that will run with more viscosity than blood.
i won't be the foe i had as a child,
letting everything stay inside me.
the words that should have spilled.

in the mean time
let your heart be filled with love and care
even if over time
it may have pieces of otherworldly tokens
you would come to acquire.
that will be not your fault darling.
it will be not yours.
it is just how humans are in nature.

my love, i pray,
i pray you will find love
within people whom you come across
and not have to face the tears of misery
they made me face every year.
i promise i won't let that happen.
he would see that this does not happen to you
after all,
who would want to harm his darling ammijaan ?

and finally, my jaan,
i love you.
i love you even if you're not here now at this moment
but know that i love you.
and I'll love you more
when I get to cradle you within my arms,
your little fingers clasping around one of mine,
holding tightly, not letting go of me,
like she made me.

-letters from a daughter to her daughter.

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translations-
jannat- "heaven" in Arabic
jaan- "life". used as a term of endearment usually in Muslim, Bengali and Hindu Cultures.
ammijaan- "ammi" meaning mother and "jaan" meaning life. It is what a mother is called by her children out of love but it is often used as a term of endearment by a father for his daughter.