It's hot. Way too hot, when I begin to come into consciousness. Hardin is lying on top of me, nearly all his weight pinning me down to the mattress. I'm on my back and Hardin's on his front, his head is on my chest, one of his arms is wrapped around my waist and one is stretched across the space next to him. I've missed sleeping this way and even waking up sweating from Hardin's body blanketing mine. When I glance at the clock it's seven-twenty, my alarm will go off in ten minutes. I don't want to wake Hardin, he looks so serene, a soft smile even plays on his sleeping lips. He usually frowns, even in his sleep.

In an attempt to move him without waking him up I lift his arm from around my waist.

"Mhhmm.." He whines as his eyes flutter and his body stirs, gripping me tighter.

I stare at the ceiling and debate whether or not to just roll him off of me.

"What time is it?" He asks, his voice thick with sleep.

"Almost seven-thirty." I tell him quietly.

"Damn it. Can we play hookie today?"

"No, but you can." I smile and gently run my fingers over his hair, massaging his scalp softly.

"We could go to breakfast?" He turns his face to look at me.

"You drive a hard bargain but I can't." I really want to though.

He slides his body down slightly so his chin rests just under my chest.

"Did you sleep well?" I ask him.

"Yes, very. I haven't slept like that since.." He trails off.

"I'm glad you got some sleep." I say and mean it.

"Can I tell you something?" He doesn't seem quite awake yet, his eyes are glossy and his voice is raspier than ever.

"Of course." I go back to massaging his scalp.

"When I was in England, at my mum's I had a dream.. well nightmare."

Oh no. My heart sinks. I knew he went back to his nightmares but it still hurts me to hear about it.

"I'm sorry those dreams came back."

"No, they didn't just come back Tess. They were worse." I swear that I feel his body shiver but his face holds no emotion.

"Worse?"

How could they possibly be worse?

"It was you, they were... doing it to you." He says and ice replaces the warm blood in my veins.

"Oh." My voice is weak, pathetic.

"Yeah. It was..it was so fucked up. It was so much worse than before because I am used to the one's with my mum you know?"

I nod and bring my other hand to his bare arm to caress it like I am doing to his scalp.

"I didn't even try to sleep after that, I purposely stayed awake because I couldn't bare to see it again. The thought of someone hurting you drives me mad."

"I'm so sorry." His eyes are haunted and mine are full of tears.

"Don't pity me." He reaches up and captures the tears before they fall.

"I'm not. It makes me upset because I don't want you to be hurt, I don't pity you."

It's true, I don't pity him. I feel terrible for this broken man who has nightmares about his mother being violated and abused and the thought of my face replacing Anne's kills me. I don't want those thoughts tainting his already anguished mind.

"You know I would never let anyone hurt you, don't you?" His eyes meet mine.

"Yes, I do."

"Even now, even if we never get back to where we were before. I would kill anyone who even tried, okay?" His tone is clipped yet soft.

"I know." I assure him with a small smile.

I don't want to appear alarmed by his sudden threats because I know that he means them in a loving way.

"It was nice to sleep." He lightens the mood slightly and I nod in agreement.

"Where do you want to go for breakfast?" I ask him.

"You said no, that you.."

"I changed my mind. I'm hungry."

After him being so open with me and telling me about his nightmares I want to spend the morning with him, maybe he will continue the open line of communication. I usually have to fight him for any type of information but he confessed this willingly and that means the world to me.

"So easily persuaded by my pathetic story?" He raises a brow.

"Don't say that." I scowl.

"Why not?" He sits up and climbs off of the bed.

"Because it's not true. It wasn't what you told me that changed my mind, and don't call yourself pathetic. That's certainly not true."

My feet hit the floor as he pulls his jeans up over his legs.

"Hardin.." I say when he doesn't reply.

"Tessa.." He mocks me in a high pitched voice.

"I mean it, you shouldn't think of yourself like that."

"I know." He dismisses the conversation.

I know Hardin is far from perfect and he has his flaws but so does everyone else, especially me. I wish he was able to see past his flaws, maybe that would help with resolve his issues with the future.

"So anyway, do I have you all day or just for breakfast?" He bends down to push his foot into his shoe.

"I like those shoes, I've been meaning to tell you." I point to the solid black tennis shoes.

"Uhm.. thanks.." He laces them and stands back up.

For someone with such a big ego he is terrible at welcoming compliments.

"You still didn't answer me."

"Just breakfast. I can't miss all my classes." I pull his shirt over my head and replace it with one of my own.

"Okay."

"I just need to pull my hair back and brush my teeth." I say after I'm finished getting dressed.

As I begin to scrub my tongue Hardin knocks at the door.

"Come in." I mumble through the paste in my mouth.

"It's been a while since we've done this." He tells me.

"Had sex in the bathroom?" I ask.

Why did I just ask that?

"No, brush our teeth together." He laughs and opens one of the spare toothbrushes from the cabinet.

"However, if bathroom sex is something you want.." Hardin teases and I roll my eyes.

"I don't know why I said that, it was the first thing that came to my mind." I have to laugh at my stupidity and quick tongue.

"Well that's good to hear." He dips the brush under the faucet and doesn't say another word.

After both of us brush our teeth and I attempt to comb my hair into a ponytail, we head downstairs. Karen and Landon are in the kitchen talking over bowls of oatmeal.

Landon gives me a warm smile, he doesn't seem too surprised by Hardin and I together. Karen doesn't either, if anything I think she looks..pleased? I can't tell because she brings her coffee cup to her mouth to hide her smile.

"I'm taking Tessa to campus today." Hardin tells Landon.

"Okay."

"Ready?" Hardin turns to me and I nod.

"I'll see you in religion." I tell Landon before Hardin drags me, literally out of the kitchen.

"What's the rush?" I ask him once we are outside.

He grabs my bag from my shoulders as we walk down the driveway.

"Nothing but I know you two, if you start talking we'll never make it out of there and when you add Karen in the mix, I'd starve to death before you shut up." He opens the car door for me before walking around to open his own and climb in.

"True." I smile.

We debate over IHOP and Denny's for at least twenty minutes before deciding on IHOP. Hardin claims that they have the best French toast but I refuse to believe it until it's proven. 

"It will be ten to fifteen minutes before you can be seated."  The short woman with a blue scarf around her neck tells us when we walk inside.

"Okay." I say at the same time that Hardin says, "why?"

"We are busy and there aren't any tables open at the moment." She explains sweetly.

Hardin rolls his eyes and I pull him away from her to sit at the bench in the entryway.

"It's nice to see you're back." I tease.

"What does that mean?"

"I just mean you've still got your edge."

"When didn't I?"

"I don't know, when we went on our date and a little last night."

"I trashed that bedroom and cussed you out." He reminds me.

"I know, I'm trying to make a joke."

"It's not a good one." He says but I see the glint of a smile appear.

When we are finally seated we give our order to a young guy with a beard that is a little too long to work as a waiter. Hardin complains and swears that if he finds a hair in his food, he's going to lose it.

"I will show you that I still have my edge." He reminds me and I giggle.

I love that he's trying to be a little nicer but I also love his attitude and the way he doesn't care what people think of him. I wish more of those qualities would rub off onto me.

"Why can't you just miss the entire day?" Hardin asks as he shovels a fork full of French toast into his mouth.

"Because.." I begin. Oh, you know because I'm transferring to another campus and I don't want to complicate things by losing any participation points before I transfer in the middle of the semester.

"I don't want to lose my A's." I tell him.

"This is college, no one goes to class." He tells me for the hundredth time since I met him.

"Aren't you excited for yoga?" I laugh.

"No. Not at all."

By the time we finish breakfast the mood is still light as Hardin drives towards the campus. His phone vibrates on the console but he ignores it. I want to answer for him but we are getting along so well. The third time it rings, I finally speak up.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" I ask him.

"No, it will go to voicemail. It's probably my mum.

He lifts the phone to show me the screen.

"See, she left a voicemail. Can you check it?" He asks.

My curiosity gets the best of me and I snatch the phone from his hands.

"Speaker phone." He reminds me.

"You have seven new voicemails." The robotic voice announces through the car as he parks the car.

"This is why I never check them." He groans and I press one to listen to them.

"Hardin? ..Hardin it's Tessa...I.." I try to press the end button but Hardin grabs the phone from my hand.

Oh god.

"Well I need to talk to you. I am in my car and I am so confused.." My voice is hysterical and I want to jump out of the car.

"Please turn it off." I beg him but he shifts the phone into his other hand so I can't reach.

"What is this?" He asks, staring at the phone.

"Why haven't you even tried? You just let me leave and here I am pathetically calling you and crying into your voicemail. I need to know what happened to us? Why was this time different, why didn't we fight it out? Why didn't you fight for me? I deserve to be happy Hardin." My idiotic voice fills the car, trapping me inside.

I sit in silence and stare down at my hands in my lap. This is humiliating, I had nearly forgotten about the voicemail and I wish he wouldn't have heard it, especially not now.

"When was this?"

"While you were gone."

He lets out a deep breath and ends the call.

"What were you confused about?" He asks.

"I don't think you want to talk about it." I pull my lip between my teeth.

"Yes, I do."

Hardin unbuckles his seat belt and turns his body to face me.

"That hideous voicemail is from the night.. the night I kissed him."

"Oh." He turns his face away from me.

Breakfast went so well, only to be ruined by my stupid voicemail that I left in the middle of an emotional tidal wave, I shouldn't be held accountable.

"Before or after you kissed him?"

"After."

"How many times did you kiss him?"

"Once."

"Where?"

"My car." I squeak.

"Then what? What did you do after you left this?" He holds the phone into the air between us.

"Went back to his apartment."

As soon as the words leave my mouth Hardin rests his forehead against the steering wheel.

"I.." I begin, he raises his finger to silence me.

"What happened at his apartment?" He closes his eyes.

"Nothing, I cried and we watched television."

"You're lying."

"No, I'm not. I slept on the couch. The only time I slept in his room was the time you showed up there. I haven't done anything with him except kiss him and a few days ago when I met him for lunch he tried to kiss me and I pulled away."

"He tried to kiss you again?"

Shit.

"Yes but he understands the way I feel about you. I know I made a huge mess of all of this and I'm sorry for even spending time with him. I don't have a good reason or excuse but I'm sorry."

"You remember what you said right? That you'll stay away from him?" His breathing is controlled, too controlled, as he lifts his head from the wheel.

"Yes, I remember."

I don't like the idea of being told who I can be friends with but I can't say I wouldn't expect the same from him if the roles were reversed, which they have been a lot lately.

"Now that I know the details I don't want to talk about it again, okay? I mean it like I don't even want to hear his fucking name come out of your mouth." He is trying to stay calm.

"Okay." I agree and reach across to grab his hand into mine.

I don't want to talk about it anymore either, we've both said all we can say about the subject and going back over it will only cause more unnecessary problems for us and our already damaged relationship. It is sort of a relief to be the cause of the problem this time because the last thing Hardin needs is another reason to despise himself.

"We better get to class." He finally says.

My heart sinks at his cool tone but I keep my mouth shut as he withdraws his hand from mine.

Hardin walks me to the philosophy building and I scan the street for Landon but don't see him. He must be inside already.

"Thank you for breakfast." I say and take my bag from Hardin's hand.

"It's nothing." He shrugs and I attempt a smile before turning to walk away.

A hand presses into my arm and I am turned involuntarily, I knew it was Hardin somehow. Even before his mouth forcefully takes to mine, claiming me in a way only he can.

"I'll see you after class. I love you." He breathes and withdraws, leaving me panting and smiling as I walk inside.

Hardin's POV.

I bring the phone to my ear to listen to that voicemail for the fifth time as I walk down the campus sidewalk. She sounds so miserable and upset. In a fucked up way it makes me happy to hear this, to hear the anguish and pure sadness in her voice as she cries into my ear. I wanted to know if she was as miserable without me as I was without her, and here is the proof that she was. I know I forgave her quickly for kissing that asshole but what else was I supposed to do? I can't be without her and we've both done some fucked up shit, not only her.

This is his fault anyway, he knew how fucking vulnerable she would be when we split. I know he fucking knew that, he saw her crying and shit then he goes and kisses her a week after she left me? What kind of fucking dickhead does that?

He took advantage of her, of my Tessa, and I won't fucking have it. He thinks he's so smooth and he gets away with shit but not any fucking more.

"Where's Zed Evans?" I ask a short blonde girl sitting by a tree.

Why the fuck is there a giant ass tree in the middle of this stupid ass building anyway?

"In the plant room, it's two-eighteen." She informs me with a shaky voice.

I finally reach the room with two-eighteen printed on the door and open it before I can think about my promise to Tessa. I wasn't actually going to leave him alone anyway, but hearing how distraught she was on the night she was with him made it ten times worse for him.

The room is full of rows of plants. Who wants to mess with this shit all day for a living?

"What are you doing here?" I hear him before I lay eyes on him.

He's standing next to a large box or some shit, when he steps out I take a step toward him.

"Don't play fucking stupid, you know exactly what I'm doing here."

"No, sorry I don't." He smiles.

He fucking smiles at me with those dumb fucking goggles on his head.

"You actually have the nerve to be a smug asshole about it?"

"About what?"

"Tessa."

"I'm not being a dick at all. You're the one treating her like shit so don't get pissed at me when she runs to me because of it."

"Are you that fucking stupid to mess with what is mine?"

He backs away and walks down the isle next to me.

"She isn't yours. You don't own her." He challenges.

I reach across the boxes of plants to wrap my hand around his neck and slam his face into the metal barrier between us.