Hardin's POV.

"Do you have a place in mind that you want to go?" I ask her when we get back to the car.

I keep trying to steady my voice so I don't sound so fucking lame.

"No, not really. Just somewhere with food." She smiles.

She is being really cool about this and I'm glad.

"Okay.. McDonalds then?" I tease just to hear her laugh.

"We may look a little silly in McDonalds."

"Yeah, a little." I agree.

I have no fucking idea where to go now, I should have came up with a back-up plan. This night is already spiraling and it hasn't even started yet.

We pull up to a stop light and I look around. A crowd of people fill the parking lot next to us.

"What's going on over there?" She asks, trying to peer around me.

"I don't know, there's an ice-skating rink or some shit." I tell her.

"Ice-skating?" Her voice raises the way it does when she is getting excited.

Oh no.

"Can we?" She asks.

Fuck,

"Go ice-skating?" Please say no.

"Yeah." She smiles, clearly excited over the idea.

"I..I don't.." I have never ice-skated in my life and never intended to but if this is what she wants to do then it won't kill me to try.. maybe it will but I'll do it anyway.

"Sure. We can." I say.

When I look at her I can tell she is surprised, she never expected me to agree to it, hell I didn't either.

"Wait.. what will we wear? I only have this dress and some toms. I should have worn jeans, it would have been so fun." She says, almost pouting.

"We could always run to the store and get you some clothes? I have some in my trunk that I could wear." I tell her.

I can't believe I'm going through all this shit to go ice-skating.

"Okay." She beams.

"Why do you keep those clothes in there anyway, you've never told me."

"It was just a habit. When I would stay with girls.. I mean when I would be out all night I would need clothes in the morning and I never had them so I just started keeping them in my trunk. It's pretty convenient." I explain.

Her lips are pursed slightly and I know I shouldn't have mentioned staying with other girls whether it was before her or not. I wish she knew how it was then, how I would fuck them with no emotion. It wasn't the same. I didn't touch them the way I do her, I didn't study every inch of their body, I didn't  revel in their shallow breathes and try to match mine to it, I didn't desperately wait for them to say they love me while I move in and out of them. I didn't let them touch me in our sleep, if I even stayed in the same bed as them it was because I was too drunk to move.  It wasn't anything like it is with her and if she knew that maybe it wouldn't bother her. If I were her I.. thoughts of Tessa fucking anyone else cloud my mind and make me nauseous.

"Hardin?" She says quietly, bringing me back to reality.

"Yeah?"

"Did you hear me?"

"No.. sorry. What did you say?"

"You passed Target already." She tells me.

"Oh shit, sorry. I'll turn around." I pull into the next parking lot and turn the car around.

She has an obsession with Target that I will never understand. It's just like Wal-Mart only more expensive and the employees are annoying as shit in their stupid red polo's and khaki pants.

"Target has better quality and more to choose from." She always tells me.

"I'll just run inside and get something." Tessa says when I park the car.

"Are you sure? I can come." I want to come with her but I can't demand my presence, not tonight.

"If you want to.."

"I do." I answer before she can finish.

Within ten minutes she has her basket nearly full of crap. She ended up getting some sort of spandex pants and a gigantic sweatshirt. She swears the pants aren't spandex, they are leggings she says but they look like spandex to me. I try to stop picturing her in them as she grabs gloves, a scarf, and a hat. She acts like we are going to fucking Antarctica, then again it is pretty damn cold outside.

"I really think you should get some gloves too, the ice is really cold and when you fall your hands will freeze." She says again.

"I'm not going to fall.. but sure I'll get gloves if you insist." I smile and she returns it as she tosses a pair of black gloves into her basket.

"Do you want a hat?" She asks.

"No, I have a beanie in the trunk."

"Of course you do." She pulls the scarf out of the basket and hangs it back up.

"No scarf?" I ask her.

"I think I'll be okay with all of this." She points to the basket.

"Yeah I'd say so." I tease but she ignores me and walks to the sock section.

We are going to be in this damn store all night.

"Okay, I'm done I think." Tessa finally says.

She tries to argue with me over paying for her stuff like she always does but I don't give in. This is a date that I asked her on, there is no way in hell I'm letting her pay for all this shit. She rolls her eyes a few times but doesn't put up too much of a fight. Is she running low on money? If she was, would she tell me? Should I ask her? Fuck, I'm thinking way too much into this.

By the time we get back to the crowded parking lot Tessa is ready to jump out of the car.

"We can find a bathroom for you to change in." I tell her  after I change my clothes and shut off the car.

She kept her head turned and she stared out the window as I changed.

"I was just going to change in the car so I don't have to carry my dress around." She shrugs.

"No, there are too many people. Someone will see you undress." I look around at the area of the parking lot where we are and it's pretty empty but still.

"Hardin.. it's fine." She says with a little annoyance.

I should have stolen that stress ball off of my father's desk last night.

"If you insist." I huff and she tears the tags off of her new clothes.

"Can you help me unzip this before you get out?" She asks me.

"Erm.. yeah." I reach across the center console and she lifts her hair up to allow me access to the zipper.

I have unzipped this dress countless times but this is the first time that I won't be able to touch her as she slides it down her arms.

"Thank you. Now wait outside." She instructs.

"What? It's not like I haven't.." I start to say.

"Hardin.."

"Fine. Hurry up." I get out of the car and close the door.

That was rude.

I open the door quickly and lean down.

"Please." I add and close it again.

I can hear her laugh from inside the car.

Minutes later she climbs out and her hands ruffle through her long hair before she pulls a purple beanie down over her head. When she joins me on the other side of the car she looks... cute. She always looks beautiful and sexy but something about the giant sweatshirt, hat and gloves makes her look even more innocent than usual.

"Here you forgot your gloves." She hands me them and I scoff.

"Good thing, I wouldn't have made it without them." I mock and she nudges me with her elbow.

She's so god damned cute.

There are so many things I want to say to her but I don't want to say the wrong thing and ruin the night.

"You know if you wanted to wear such a large sweater you could have worn one of mine and saved yourself twenty bucks." I say and she grabs my hand but let's go quickly.

"Sorry." She mutters and her cheeks flush.

I want to grab her hand again but I am distracted by a short woman greeting us.

"What size skates?" She asks in a deep voice.

I look down at Tessa and she answers for the both of us. The woman returns with two pair of ice-skates and I cringe. There is no way in hell this is going to go well.

I follow Tess to a bench nearby and remove my shoes. She has both of the ice-skates on before I have half of my foot in one. Hopefully she will get bored easily and want to leave.

"You okay over there?" She mocks me as I finally lace up the second skate.

"Yes. Where do I put my shoes?" I ask her.

"I'll take them." The short woman appears out of no where.

I hand the woman my shoes and Tess does the same.

"Ready?" She asks and I stand up.

I grip the railing immediately.

How the fuck am I going to do this?

"It gets easier when you're moving on the ice." She fights a smile.

I sure fucking hope so.

It doesn't  get easier though and I fall three times within five minutes. Tessa laughs each time and I have to admit that if I didn't have the gloves my hands would be ice by now.

"Remember like thirty minutes ago when you said you weren't going to fall?" She laughs and reaches her hand out to me to help me up.

"What are you some sort of expert ice-skater?" I ask her as I climb to my feet.

I hate ice-skating more than anything right now but she is beyond amused.

"No, I haven't been in a while but my friend Josie and I used to go a lot."

"Josie? I've never heard you talk about any friends from back home."

"I didn't have many, I spent most of my time with Noah growing up. Josie moved before my senior year."

"Oh."

I don't know why she wouldn't have many friends, so what if she's a little OCD and prudish and she obsesses over novels .. she is nice, sometimes too damn nice, to everyone. Except me of course, she gives me shit on a constant but I do love that about her. Most of the time.

"I'm hungry." She says and looks over to a food stand with dancing lights on top.

We have been here at least thirty minutes and haven't even lapped around the rink once.

"But you haven't fallen and pulled me down with you so were laying perfectly on top of me staring into my eyes just like the movies." I smile.

"This is not like the movies.'" She reminds me and heads toward the exit.

I wish she would have held my hand while we skated, if I could manage to stay on my feet that is. All the happy couples seem to be mocking us as they circle around me holding hands.

The second I leave the rink I remove the horrendous skates and find the short lady to get my damn shoes back.

"You really have a future in ice-skating." She teases me for the thousandth time as wipes the flakes of powdered sugar off her purple sweatshirt.

"Haha." I roll my eyes.

My ankles still hurt from that shit.

"I could have taken you somewhere else to eat, funnel cakes aren't exactly a nice dinner." I tell her and look at the ground.

"It's fine. I haven't had one in so long." She has eaten all of hers and half of mine.

I catch her staring at me again, her face holds a thoughtful expression as she studies my face.

"Why do you keep staring at me?" I finally ask and she looks away.

"Sorry.. I'm just not used to the piercings being gone." She admits, still staring.

"It's not that different."

"I know.. it's just weird though. I was so used to seeing them."

Should I put them back in? I didn't remove them only for her sake, it's true what I told her. I do feel like I was hiding behind them, using the small metal rings to block people out. Piercings intimidate people and make them far less likely to talk to me or come near me at all and I feel like I'm getting past that stage of my life. I don't want to keep people out especially not her, I want to pull her in.

I got them done when I was only a teenager, forging my mum's signature and getting wasted before stumbling into the shop. The dumbass could smell the booze on me but did them anyway. I don't regret them at all, I am just over them.

I don't feel that way about my tattoos though, I love them and I always will. I'll continue to cover my body in ink, expressing thoughts that I can't bring myself to actually say. Well that's not really the case seeing as they are random shit that have no meaning what so ever but they look alright so I don't give a fuck.

"I don't want you to change." She tells me and I look over at her.

"Not physically. I only want you to show me that you can treat me better and not try to control me. I don't want you to change your personality either. I only want you to fight for me, not turn yourself into someone you think I want to be with."

Her words tug at the edges of my heart, threatening to tear it open.

"I'm not." I tell her.

I am trying to change for her but not that way. This was for me, and for her.

"Taking them out was just a step in all of this, I'm trying to be a better person and the piercings remind me of a bad time in my life. A time I want to move on from." I tell her.

"Oh." She nearly whispers.

"You liked them then?" I smile.

"Yes, very much." She admits.

"I could put them back?" I offer but she shakes her head.

I'm much less nervous now than I was two hours ago. This is Tessa, my Tessa and I shouldn't be nervous.

"Only if you want to."

"I could put them back in when we.." I stop myself.

"When we what?" She tilts her head to the side.

"You don't want me to finish it."

"Yes I do! What were you going to say?"

"Fine, have it your way. I was going to say I could always put them back in and fuck you if they turn you on that much."

Her horrified expression makes me laugh and she looks around to make sure no one heard me.

"Hardin!" She scolds me but she laughs along.

"I warned you.. Plus I haven't made any perverted comments at all tonight, I should be allowed one."

"True." She agrees with a smile and takes a drink of her lemonade.

I want to ask her if that means she could see herself having sex with me again since she didn't correct me but I get the feeling this isn't the right time. It's not only because I want to feel her again, it's because I genuinely miss her so fucking much.

We are getting along pretty well, especially for us. I know a lot of it is because I'm not being a dick for once. It's not that hard really, I just have to think before I say shit.

"Your birthday is tomorrow. What do you have planned?" She asks me after a few moments of silence.

Shit.

"Well uhm.. Logan and Nate are sort of throwing me a party. I wasn't going to go but Steph said they went all out and spent a shit load of money so I figured I would at least drop by there. Unless.. you wanted to do something? I won't go." I tell her.

"No, it's okay. I'm sure the party will be much more fun."

"You could come? No one even knows what's going on between us, except Zed of course." I ask even though I know the answer.

I need to not focus on why Zed knows my fucking business.

"No, thanks though." She smiles but it doesn't meet her eyes.

"I really don't have to go."

If she wants to spend my birthday with me then Logan and Nate can fuck off.

"No really it's fine. I have stuff to do anyway." She says and looks away.

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