(The songs for this chapter are Come on get higher- Matt Nathanson, Closer-Kings of Leon, Sex on Fire-Kings of Leon, You and me-Lifehouse, John Mayer- Assassin, John Mayer- Edge of desire. A strange combination of songs but it works for me hah)

The plate of cookies are demolished within the first ten minutes of the movie and I have to admit I am proud of my newly acquired baking skills. Anne praises me and Hardin eats over half of the batch, which is a praise itself.

"Is it bad that these cookies are my favorite thing about America so far?" Anne laughs as she takes the last bite.

"Yes, very sad." Hardin teases her and I giggle.

"You may have to make these everyday until I leave." She informs me.

"Sounds good to me." I smile and lean into Hardin.

One of his arms snakes behind me at my waist and I fold my legs up so I can move even closer to him.

Anne falls asleep towards the end of the movie and Hardin turns the volume down on the remote so we can finish the movie without waking her.

I am a sobbing mess by the end and Hardin doesn't try to hide his humor at my despair.  That was one of the saddest movies I have seen in my entire life, I have no idea how Anne fell asleep.

"That was terrible, amazing but terribly sad." I sob.

"Blame my mum, I requested a comedy yet somehow we ended up with The Green Mile, I warned you." He says and moves his arm to my shoulder, pulling me closer and placing a gentle kiss on my forehead.

"We should have watched a comedy." I whine and wipe my nose with my hand.

"We can turn on Friends when we get to the room to get your mind off of him dy.."

"Hardin! Don't remind me!" I groan and he chuckles before standing up off of the couch and pulling me by the arm to join him.

When we get to the room Hardin switches the lamp on and then the television. I watch him lock the door and my insides quiver.

Hardin's POV.

"I'm going to change." She tells me and swipes a tissue across the nose.

Her eyes are red from her breakdown during the movie. I knew it would upset her and I have to admit that I was looking forward to her reaction. Not because I want her to be upset, but because I love how emotionally invested she becomes in things. She opens herself so fully to these fictional forces, whether a movie or a novel, she allows them to pull her in and it's so captivating to watch.

She emerges from the closet in only shorts and her white lace bra. Holy shit. I don't even try to be subtle with my gaping.

"Do you think you could wear .. you know my shirt?" I ask her.

I am not sure how she will feel about that but I miss her wearing my shirts to bed.

"I would love to." She smiles and pulls my used shirt off the top of the clothes hamper.

"Good." I state, trying not to seem too excited.

I watch the way her breasts spill out of the top of the lace as she lifts her arms into the air. Stop staring. Slow, she wants to go slow. I can go slow.. slowly .. in and out of her. Jesus what the fuck is wrong with me? Just when I consider looking away she reaches under her shirt and pulls her bra through one of the loose sleeves and places it in the hamper behind her.. Christ.

"Something wrong?" She asks and climbs onto the bed.

"No." I gulp and watch in awe as she pulls her hair out of the ponytail it was in. It falls down onto her shoulders in a beautiful blonde wave and she shakes her head slowly. She has to be doing this on purpose.

"Okay.." She says. She lays on top of the duvet. I wish she would get under it so she wouldn't look so.. exposed.

"Are you coming to bed?" Her expression confused.

I hadn't realized that I was still standing by the door.

"Yea.."

"I know this is a little strange right now, you know getting used to being together again but you don't have to be so...distant." She says nervously.

"I know." I respond and join her on the bed, trying to conceal my lower region.

"It's really not as strange as I thought it would be." Her voice is almost a whisper.

"I agree."

I am relieved to hear that she isn't uncomfortable around me, I was worried that it wouldn't be the same as before. That she would be guarded and not the Tess that I love so much. It has only been a few hours but I hope it stays this way. It's so easy with her, so damn easy yet difficult at the same time.

"You are being so weird. Tell me what's on your mind." She requests.

Her small hand lays on mine and she leans onto my chest.

"I am glad you are still here, that's all." And I can't stop thinking about making love to you. I add silently. It's not just about getting off with Tessa like it always was before, it's much more. So much more, it's about being as connected and tied to her as I possibly can be. It's about her trusting me fully. My chest aches when I think about the trust she had for me but I shattered.

"That's not all." She calls me out and I shake my head.

Her hand raises and her index finger draws a line against my temple and down to the metal in my eyebrow.

"It's terrible what I am thinking." I admit. I don't want her to think that she is an object to me, that I just want to use her. I really don't want to tell her what is on my mind but I can't continue to keep anything from her, I need to be honest with her now and always.

"Tell me." Her worried expression pains me.

"I.. well I was thinking about.. fucking.. I mean making love to you."

"Oh." She says softly, her eyes wide.

"I know, I am a dick." I groan, wishing I would have lied.

"No.. no you're not. I was sort of thinking about the same thing." Her cheeks color red and she takes her bottom lip between her teeth, taunting me further.

'You were?" This woman never ceases to surprise me.

"Yea... I mean it has been a while.. well not including Seattle which I was belligerently drunk during."

I search her face for the judgment at my lack of control when she came onto me last weekend, but there is none there. I see the embarrassment as she recalls the events in her mind. My boxers are growing uncomfortably tight as I do the same.

"I don't want you to think that I am using you.. because of everything." I explain.

"Hardin, out of all the things I am thinking right now that isn't one of them. Granted, it probably should be but it's not."

I was afraid, so afraid that our intimate moments would be forever tainted by my foolishness.

"You're sure? Because I don't want to fuck up again." I tell her.

She answers me by taking my hand and placing in in between her thighs. Fuck. I grab her waist with my other hand and pull her towards me. Within seconds I am hovering over her body, with one  knee between her legs. I kiss her neck first, my mouth feverish and quick against her soft skin.  She tugs my t-shirt up and lifts her back enough for me to pull it off.  My tongue leaves a wet trail behind as I kiss over her collarbone and over the swell of her breasts. Her hands pull at my shirt and I help her remove the fabric and my sweats simultaneously, leaving me in only my boxers.

I want to touch every part of her body, every inch of skin, every curve, every angle. God she is beautiful. As I lower myself to kiss her stomach, her fingers disappear into my hair, tugging at the roots and I nip at her skin. Her panties and shorts are tossed onto the floor and my tongue caresses the skin over her hips.

"Hardin...please.." She rushes me along as I explore her body as if it's the first or last time.

I bring my mouth to her most sensitive area and slide my tongue across her slowly, savoring her taste as it consumes my senses.

"Oh god." She pants and pulls harder on my hair.

Her hips buck up off of the bed and she presses herself against  my tongue. I pull back and she whines. I love that she is as desperate for me as I am for her. I quickly lean up and open the drawer on the nightstand, grabbing the foil packet and tear it open with my teeth.

She watches me and I watch her. I watch the way her chest rises and falls in anticipation. My boxers are pushed down by my own hands and I lean over to plant a small kiss on her cheek before I slide it on.

"Lay down." I instruct.

She obliges and I climb back between her legs. The anticipation is exhilarating. I am so hard that it hurts.

"You are always so ready for me baby." I muse, collecting her moisture on my fingers before bringing them to her mouth to have her taste. She is shy but doesn't protest as he laps her tongue around my finger. I take this opportunity to ease into her. The feeling is exquisite and I have missed it so much.

"Christ." I curse as she moans in relief.

 All of my previous heartache dissolves as I bury myself into her, filling her up completely. Her eyes roll back in her head and I deliberately circle my hips slowly before pulling out and pushing back in repeatedly.

"More.. please Hardin." Fuck I love to hear her beg.

"No baby.. I want to go slow this time." I tell her and she nods, a moan escaping as I circle my hips again.

I want to savor every second of this, I want it to be slow and I want her to feel how much I love her, how sorry I am for hurting her, and how I am willing to do anything for her.

I bring my mouth to hers and caress her tongue with mine. I groan when her fingernails dig into my biceps, sure to leave crescent marks in their wake.

"I love you.. I love you so much." I tell her and increase my pace slightly. I know I am torturing her with my teasing, slow movements.

"I..I love you." She moans and her legs begin to shake. She is almost there.

I would love to see what we look like in this moment, molded together yet so separated. The contrast of her smooth clear skin to the black ink covering almost every inch of mine as she runs her hands up and down my arms is quite the sight. It's dark meets light, it's chaotic perfection, it's everything I fear, want and need.

 Her moans become louder and I bring my hand to her mouth.

"Shh.. let go baby." I instruct, keeping her silent.

My thrusts quicken as her soft body goes rigid under mine and she tries to call my name into my hand. Within seconds I am joining her, getting high off of her. She is the perfect drug.

"Look at me." I breath. Her eyes meet mine and I am done for. I spill into the condom and her body relaxes, leaving us both a panting mess.

When I move to climb off of her she grabs my arms to stop me. I smile down at her and stay still. I use my elbow to prop me up and keep most of my weight off of her. Tessa's hand touches my cheek, she uses the pad of her thumb to draw small circles against my damp skin.

"I love you Hardin." She says quietly.

"I love you Tess." I respond and lay my head against her chest.

My eyes are heavy as I feel her breathing slow and I fall asleep listening to the steady strum of her heartbeat.

(One of the girls from instagram suggested that I do an interview book where you guys can ask me questions and I will answer them there. I think it's a really cool idea and I would love to do it. I have no idea if anyone has any questions for me haha but if you do, you can ask them here on this chapter and I will begin to answer them in a separate book. It could be fun so ask away! Lol. It doesn't have to be about the book, it can just be random things as well. I would love to get to know you all even better! )