When I wake up I'm sweating. Hardin's head is on my stomach and his arms are wrapped around me. His arms surely must be numb from my body weight. His legs are intertwined with mine and he is snoring lightly. I take a deep breath and carefully lift my hand to brush his hair off of his forehead. I feel like I haven't touched his hair in so long, when in reality it's only been since Saturday. My mind plays the events in Seattle like a movie as I run my fingers through his soft mess of hair. His eyes flutter open and i jerk my hand away quickly.

"Sorry." I say, embarrassed to be caught in the act.

"No, it felt good." His voice is thick from sleep.

He lifts himself from me too soon and I wish I wouldn't have touched his hair so he would still be asleep, holding me.

"I have some work to do today so I will be going to town for little while." He says and grabs a pair black jeans from the closet.

"Okay.." What? He grabs his boots and slips them on quickly.

I get the feeling that he is rushing out of here.

I thought he would be happy that we slept in the bed together and that we held each other for the first time in a week. I thought something would have changed, not completely but I thought maybe he could see that my resolve was wearing down, that I was a few steps closer to reconciling with him than I was yesterday.

"Yea.." He says and twists his eyebrow ring between his fingers before pulling the white t-shirt over his head and grabbing a black one from the dresser.

He doesn't say anything before he exits the room and I am left confused, once again. Out of all the things I expected to happen, him running out on me wasn't one of them. Why would he have to do work right now? He reads manuscripts, the same way that I do only he has much more freedom to do all of his work from home so why would he want to do it today? Maybe he is going to the library? The memory of what Hardin was doing the last time he had to "work" makes my stomach turn.

I hear him talking to his mother briefly before the front door closes. I plop back onto the pillows and kick my feet in  childish manner then I climb out of bed. I pick Hardin's clothes up off the floor and shove them into the hamper and pad out into the kitchen to make some coffee.

"Good morning sweetie." Anne chirps.

"Good morning, thank you for making coffee." I tell her and grab the freshly brewed pot.

"Hardin said he had some work to do?" She says but it sounds like she is asking not telling.

"Yea.. he told me that." I say.

I don't know what else to say.

"I am glad he is okay after last night." Her voice full of worry.

"Yea, me too. I shouldn't have let him sleep on the floor." I say without thinking.

Her brows lower in question and I try to think of a way to talk myself out of this.

"He doesn't have them when he isn't on the floor?" She asks carefully.

"No, he doesn't have them if we.." I trail off stirring the sugar into my coffee.

"if you're there." She finishes for me.

"Yea.. if I am there."

"Do you want to know why he has them? I know he will hate me for telling you but I think you should know."

"He told me.. about that night." I swallow.

Her eyes widen in surprise.

"He told you?" She almost gasps.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to just say it that way." I apologize and take another drink of coffee.

"No..no..Don't apologize. I just can't believe he told you. Obviously you knew about the nightmares but I am just astounded that he told you the story behind them." She dabs her eyes with her fingers and smiles.

"I hope it's okay." I don't want to intrude on their family secrets.

"It is more than okay. I am so happy he has you." She is full on sobbing.

"They were so bad, he would scream and scream. I tried to send him to therapy but you know Hardin, he wouldn't speak to them. At all. As in not one word, he would just sit there and stare at the wall."

I sit my mug down on the counter and wrap my arms around her.

"I don't know what it was that made you come back yesterday but I am glad that you did." She says into my shoulder.

"What?"

"Oh honey, I am old but not that old. I knew something was going on between the two of you. I saw how surprised he was to see you when we arrived and I could tell something was off between the two of you when he called me to say you weren't going to make it to England." She says.

I had a feeling that she was onto us but I didn't know the depth. She sits down at the table and I sit across from her.

"He was so excited.. well as excited as Hardin gets.. to bring you to England and then a few days ago he said you were going out of town but I knew better."

"What happened?" She asks.

I take another drink and make eye contact with her.

"Well.." I don't know what to tell her because 'Oh nothing, your son just took my virginity as a part of a bet then lied about it.' doesn't exactly sound nice.

"He.. he lied to me." Is all I say. I don't want her to be upset with Hardin but I don't want to completely lie either.

"A big lie?"

"A massive lie." I admit.

"Is he sorry?"

"Yea.. I think he is." Talking to Anne about this is strange. I don't even know her and she is his mother so she will feel inclined to take his side no matter what.

"Has he said that he is?"

"Yea.. a few times."

"Has he shown it?"

"Sort of."

Has he? I know he broke down the other day and he has been calmer than usual but he hasn't actually said what I want to hear.

"Well as his mother I have to put up with his antics but you don't. If he wants you to forgive him then he needs to work for it. He needs to show you that he will never do anything like what ever it is that he did, it must have been a pretty big lie if you moved out. Try to keep in mind that emotion is not a place he goes to often. He is a very angry boy... man now."

"Would you forgive someone for lying to you?" I know the question sounds ridiculous, people lie all the time but the words tumbled out before my brain could process them.

"It would depend on the lie, and how sorry they were. I will say that when you allow yourself to believe too many lies its hard to find your way back to the truth."

Is she saying I shouldn't forgive him?

"However, I know my son and I can see the change in him since the last time I saw him. He has changed the last few months, so much Tessa. I can't tell you how much. He laughs and smiles. He even engaged in conversation with me yesterday." Her smile is bright despite the serious subject.

"I know that if he lost you he would go back to how he was before but I don't want you to feel obligated to be with him because of that."

"I don't, feel obligated I mean. I just don't know what to think." I wish I could explain the whole story to her so I could have her honest opinion. I wish my mother was as understanding as Anne.

"Well that's the hard part, you have to be the one to decide. Just take your time and make him work it, things come easily to my son, they always have. Maybe that is part of his problem, he always gets what he wants."

"He does." I laugh. That statement could not be more true.

"I am glad you are back here, and that you are in his life so I hope he does the right thing from now on." She smiles and I nod.

"Me too." I sigh and stand up.

I grab a box of cereal out of the cabinet and Anne stands to join me.

"How about you and I get dressed and go get some breakfast and do some girl things? I could use a haircut." She laughs and shakes her brown hair back and forth.

Her sense of humor is nice, just like Hardin's when he allows it to show. He is more raunchy yes, but I see where he gets his humor.

"Okay.. I will take a shower." I tell her and put the cereal box back in it's place.

"Shower? Its snowing outside and we will be getting our hair washed anyway! I was going to just wear this." She says and gestures to her black track suit.

"Throw on some jeans or something and lets go!" She instructs.

This is so different than if I was going anywhere with my mother. I would have to have ironed clothes, my hair curled and make up on my face even to go to the grocery store.

"Okay." I smile and walk into the room.

I grab a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt from the closet and pull my hair into a bun before slipping my toms on and heading to the bathroom. I quickly brush my teeth and splash cold water on my face. When I join Anne in the living room she is ready and waiting by the door.

"I should leave Hardin a note or text him." I say.

"He will be fine." She smiles and pulls me towards the door.

After spending the rest of the morning and the majority of the afternoon with Anne I feel much more relaxed. She is kind, funny and great to talk to. She hasn't mentioned the status of my relationship with Hardin and I am grateful. She keeps the conversation light and has me laughing almost the entire time. We both get our hair cut and Anne adds bangs, daring me to do the same but I refuse with a smile. By the time we get back to the apartment Hardin's car is parked in the lot.

I feel nervous for some reason, maybe because we slept in the bed together then he stormed out this morning. Well, he didn't exactly storm so much as ran.. but still he left. Anne and I grab her bags from the backseat and my small bag, holding a black dress I got to wear for Christmas. I have no idea what I am doing for Christmas, I don't want to intrude here and I haven't gotten any presents or anything. I think I may take Landon up on his invitation to go to his house. It seems a little too much to spend Christmas with Hardin when we are not together. We are in this foreign in between stage, we aren't together but I felt like we were getting closer to each other until he left this morning.

When we get up to the apartment Hardin is sitting on the couch with papers spread out across his lap and the table in front of him. He has a pen between his teeth and looks deep into whatever it is that he is doing. Working I suspect but I have only actually seen him work a few times.

"Hello son!" Anne says in a cheery voice.

"Hey." Hardin' responds in a flat tone.

"Did you miss us?" Anne teases and he rolls his eyes before gathering up the loose pages and shoving them into a binder.

"I'll be in the room." He huffs and stands from the couch.

I shrug at Anne then follow Hardin into the room.

"Where did you guys go?" He asks and sits down his binder on the dresser.

"To get breakfast then we got haircuts and did some shopping." I sit on the bed with my legs crossed.

"Oh."

"Where did you go?"

"To work."

"Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, I'm not buying that." I say. Anne must have worn off on me.

"I don't care if you're not buying that." He says in a mocking tone.

"What's your problem?" I snap.

"Nothing. I don't have a problem."

"Obviously you do. Why did you leave this morning?"

"I already told you."

"Lying to me isn't going to help anything, that's what got you..us into this mess in the first place."  I remind him.

"Fine! You want to know where I was? I was at my dad's!" He shouts.

"Your dad's? Why?"

"Talking to Landon." He sits down on the chair.

"I believed the work story more than this." I roll my eyes.

"I was. Go on and call him if you don't believe me."

"Why? What were you talking about?"

"You of course."

"What about me?"

"Just everything, I know you don't want to be here."

"If I didn't want to be here I wouldn't be."

"You have no where else to go, I know you wouldn't be here if you did."

"What makes you so sure? We slept in the bed together last night."

"Yea and you know why. If I wouldn't have had one you wouldn't have agreed to it. That's the only reason you did, and the only reason you're talking to me now. Because you feel sorry for me." He raises his voice.

"It doesn't matter why it happened!" I shout back.

"So you do then don't you? You feel sorry for poor Hardin who has nightmares and can't sleep in a fucking bed alone!"

"Stop yelling! Your mom is in the other room!" I yell back.

"Is that what you two did all day was talk about me? I don't need your fucking pity, Tess."

"Oh my god! You are so frustrating! We did not talk about you, not in that way. And for the record, I do not feel sorry for you, I wanted you in that bed with me regardless of your dreams." I cross my arms.

"Sure." He barks.

"You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself if anything." I say equally as harsh.

"I don't."

"Seems like it. You just started a fight with me for no reason. We should be moving forward not backward."

"Moving forward?" His eyes meet mine.

"Yea.. I mean maybe." I stutter.

"Maybe?" He smiles.

"You are insane, literally."

He was just fighting with me, his cheeks flushed in anger and now he is grinning like a small child on Christmas. I feel most of my anger evaporating. The control over my emotions that he holds terrifies me.

"Your hair looks nice." He compliments.

"You need to be medicated." I tease and he laughs.

"I wouldn't argue there." He responds. I can't help but laugh with him.

Maybe I am just as crazy as he is?

(I love how many comments each chapter has!! It is so amazing to be able to hear (read) what everyone has to say! I read every single comment, even if I don't respond to all of them. I love to read them and communicate with you all! After has hit 4 million reads!! And After 2 has almost a million! That's insane!! Ily all!! Oh and I love hearing everyone's song suggestions too! "The way I loved you" by Taylor Swift is one I have seen a lot and I soo agree I don't know why I didn't think of that one before!)