*Bold = german
Italics = Spanish

Diana | September 30th - 4 years ago

Diana sat on the edge of her bed listening to music, with a pen glued to the paper in her journal. Thousands of thoughts clutter her head as she attempts to record every single word. She drafts until there was a use of the different sentences on the page. The phrases and stanzas melt into one another, similar to waves overlapping in the ocean. Diana shifts position to cross her legs. Every now and then she moves the hair from her face.

Diana's long, thick black hair covered her better than a jacket could ever. The perfect protection from the unfriendly weather. She never fancied her hair long. As in seventh grade, a boy told her that having short hair means are that a girl is a lesbian. Of course, Diana knew that wasn't the case as she grew older.

Diana enjoyed many activities when she wasn't brushing her hair. She had adored painting—until she went blind in one eye at a young age. Luckily, Diana discovered other hobbies such as; poetry and playing the piano. With many prodigies, Diana grew up assuming she would get into Juilliard. Sadly, her parents never accepted her dreams. She was saddened at first but further on found that the innocuous option would be more profitable.

Diana, deep in thought, jumps from the sounds of the door—spilling her pens and pencils out the open case. She groans, a tad irritated in having to reorganize. She pauses the playlist and hops off her bed making her way towards the knock.

"Mami, open up!"

"Hortez, it's Diana. Not mam-e," she argues as she opens the door.

Hortez was tall, even as he lean against the door frame. His short brown hair slicked back with too much gel, and his electric green eyes didn't make Diana swoon like other girls have. He was mixed between Puerto Rican and German—and gifted with the ability to speak three languages. Three languages meant three times the amount of nicknames for Diana and it drove her mad.

"Okay, not mami. The boys threw me an engagement party. It's just an excuse to party but you down for it?" he smiles.

"I'm studying for my test coming up—,"

"You say this every time you don't want to go out. You don't need to lie, amor. There is always a choice."

Diana begins to stutter, her face glowed bright pink. Hortez continues, "It's okay. I'll forgive you for being dishonest if you go to my party."

Diana huffs, "You planned that so well. Okay, I give in. Let me change and then we can have your fun."

Hortez smiles, delighted to have changed her mind. It takes twenty minutes for Diana to change into a short peach dress. She kept her makeup light, only doing her eyebrows and lashes like most broke college students. When she finished, Hortez was in awe with her appearance. As Hortez spoils her in compliments, Diana not only looked beautiful but felt it. Diana was truly grateful for Hortez Castro.

They walked into the house with floors coated with streamers and empty cups of liquor. Stressed students crowd the halls and the smell of drugs could be smelt blocks away. Lights resembling a rave nearly blind Diana's other eye while she follows Hortez.

"Why is so crowded this early in the night?" Diana shouted, hoping Hortez heard her.

"Times have changed, liebchen."

"I see that," Diana shouts back watching the people strip in front of her.

"Let's see you can still handle some fun!" Hortez hands her a mixed drink.

Diana held the cup into her hand, contemplating on whether or not to drink. Taking a pregnant second, she downs the liquid and rushes to the crowd of people dancing to the bass. Diana watches the men and women grind on each other and many spotted dry humping on the couches. Her attention soon was consumed by a woman drinking a red cup alone. Her bright pink hair and baby hairs were swept in all the right place, bringing out her dark toned skin. Diana found herself breathless, wondering why she was thinking absurds thoughts like needing to know her or even kiss her.

After the sixth full cup of hard liquor, Diana made her way to the girl. Her face flushed as she starts the conversation, "You're beautiful."

"Thank you, you look dazzling yourself doll," the woman replies. "I'm Junie, what's your name?"

"Diana, nice to meet you," they shook hands.

Something lit in Junie's eyes as they continued to talk. Even with the students surrounding them, it was hard to miss the sparks flying between the two. Both went on, sweet and light, enough to keep the conversation going and not too heavy to ruin the mood.

"Have you ever been with a girl?" Junie asks.

"I don't, I'm not," Diana stutters. She didn't know how to react.

"Oh, did I just. Sorry! I must have read the situation wrong," Junie nervously laughs.

Diana didn't know what to do at that moment. She knew she ruined the moment. Suddenly a rush of adrenaline course through her and Diana presses her lips against Junie. It was like nothing had mattered to Diana, she felt as if the world was crumbling and in the morning this night would just be another lesson.

"Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't ask you..." Diana trails and mentally hits herself.

"Come on," Junie laughs, pulling them away from the crowd.

They wander to an unoccupied room meant to rid the arousal between the party goers. The two women had no silence; only the sound of heartbeats booming in the ears of the two. Their lips met once more and suddenly, the adrenaline that brought Diana the courage to expose her true self had disappeared into oblivion. It had started to become all too real to and it that terrified her.

Diana shakes her head as she pushes away, "I'm sorry, I can't do this."

•

"Diana? Where el diablo odiando are you!" Hortez screams.

The afternoon sun was barely at its peak and the gory sounds coming from Diana's mouth was full of whispers in protest. Diana's long kept hair sprawled around her, tangling with her pillows and fingers. The room was neat and tidy, unlike her bed.

"God help me. Diana, open up!" Hortez slams his fist on the wall.

Diana squeezes her eyes until they finally open. Her clothes were thrown into the laundry basket and her makeup wasn't smeared on her pillow like she thought it would. It was washed off and water was left on her nightstand with an aspirin.

"Diana!" the call grew louder.

Finally realizing what was happening, Diana put on her silk robe. She rushes to the door, happy to know there was no hangover like she expected. The door flings open once she unlocks it and Hortez barges in.

"You're brother called me because he didn't get ahold of you, it has been 34 hours since I last saw you at the party! I thought you were just sleeping off a hangover but you didn't show up to class today either. It's so unlike you, cariño," He explains.

"I what? I've sleeping for over 24 hours? Why did my brother call you?" Diana searches for her phone and finds it on the edge of the bed. "Oh my god."

The two looks at the 72 missed calls and 126 text messages all from Olen, her little brother. She reads the last message pleading for her to answer him. Diana pulls back her hair and breathes in heavy breaths.

The last time she had not answer, it was the news that her father would not be coming home. That he was stuck in North Korea. Tears stream down her porcelain doll skin and trails down her neck. Hortez hugs her, holding her tightly in his arms in hopes it was comforting.

Diana prays in her head that it was about her father, the closure they had needed for the family to move on. Just like Diana, Hortez had a similar prayer. He hoped for Diana to smile and be happy once more. Finally at the last ring, Olen answers the phone.

"Ollie?" Diana lets out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding in.

"Mom is dead."