— "we can
beat this!"

NOVEMBER 12:
KIM SEOKJIN

==

compared to the little-to-no light inside the warehouse, the lampposts make seokjin feel like he's squinting directly into the center of the sun. he winces as his eyes gradually get used to his surroundings, but when he sees the dark expanses of rolling hills stretching out from either side of him, the light seems to drop several levels. only when the wind rocks him so hard his shoe catches in the sandy dirt below him does he finally get back to his senses.

before taehyung had shouted for them to leave, seokjin had been exploring the warehouse with mrs. kim and jae on either side of him, their flashlights shaky in their weary hands. they hadn't found anything, but he remembers a specific shout from namjoon a number of aisles away that startled him to hell and back, cursing under his breath when a sheepish laugh resounded next.

"i hate to be the kind of person to ask," mrs. kim had started, glancing to jae, "but why were you so...okay...with going into here? aren't you..."

"scared?" jae finished, and mrs. kim nodded in response. "well, naturally, yes. but being a society member means doing daunting things like this, and i've been a member for decades at the very least. i've done these 'missions' for as long as my body has continued to allow."

seokjin smiled in admiration. that takes guts that the majority of people don't have.

"but abraxas..." mrs. kim paused, clearly unsure of herself. "taehyungie has been tormented by this...this thing for as long as i can remember and it's here now. isn't that a little startling? very startling? how can you just walk in her so bravely knowing what it's done to my—our—son?"

jae was quiet for a moment. "...it's true i'm intimidated by abraxas, extremely so. but i trust taehyung more. much more. and he told us he's found a way to beat this monster. so that's how i can walk in here so courageously—because if that boy, who's been through hell and back and fought some battles along the way, can tip his chin up and walk into here with a steely face and strong words, then i sure can too. and you can also, love. i know you've done it before."

that stuck with seokjin—not because of taehyung's courage, but because of an inkling he's had ever since the moment he woke up in that hospital bed.

yeah. something's off.

"ah, god," jeongguk appears next to seokjin, wiping dust off his jeans with a scowl. "i can kiss sleep tonight goodbye, i guess."

namjoon responds, but it's lost under the low breath he exhales. nearby, hoseok and yoongi stand with narrowed eyes and tousled hair, tangled from the wind that continues to roar around their bodies. it's the perfect conditions of a night that could go to utter hell.

"what happened?" seokjin asks. "you guys look like you saw an actual ghost in there."

"yeah, well—"

taehyung suddenly jogs out of the warehouse with jimin at his tail, calling something out that the distance between him and seokjin make impossible to comprehend. "it's close," he breathes out once he and jimin reach the seven of them. "abraxas is two or three minutes away, tops. probably coming from that—" he points east— "direction. i just know it."

"that soon?"

"yeah. i only got the urge in my gut a few moments ago, which means it knows i'm here, too. and i think it's smart enough to know i'm not alone."

yoongi slowly taps the handgun at the holster of his belt (an assurance, he said, that he's at least taken every step possible to defend himself and the others), while jeongguk rolls the sleeves of his shirt to his elbows. most of the others have taehyung surrounded in a loose—but well guarded—circle, including even mrs. kim. but jimin, surprisingly, stands away the group like seokjin, positioned at the wings of their impromptu "formation". it surprises him; he would have guessed jimin would be right by taehyung's side at such a crucial moment, just as mrs. kim and jae are right now.

seokjin feels the feeling rising again.

it means that i'm still intertwined to abraxas.

no, stop. he doesn't have time for callous doubts like these. abraxas is going to appear at any moment now, and it's seokjin's responsibility, along with the others, to make sure taehyung is able to carry out his plan exactly the way he needs to.

"less than a minute," taehyung shouts over the wind., and jae instinctively goes closer to him. seokjin spares a good glance at taehyung, squinting through the twilight, and can't help his jaw from going the slightest bit slack. he's focused, calm, collected—his stance is straight, lips set in a thin line, brows scrunched in concentration. but there's a swirl of emotion in his eyes that doesn't go past seokjin. there's a hurricane inside of him, evident in the slightest falter of his stoic expression, and there seokjin finally understands—

—the boy who woke up at odd hours of the night, screaming for his mother—his father—his best friend—someone to take him away from the demon by his bedside, the demon eating away his sanity, the demon playing puppeteer on his life: understands the boy who, yes, who kept his chin up and told everyone around him it would be alright, it would be alright even when it wasn't for him: understands. understands. understands the boy with a stoic expression and a straight back and a desperate soul, standing now in a swirling windstorm with his own erupting deep in the back of his mind and the tremble of his lips is enough to tell seokjin that no, what if taehyung—

something in the distance roars.

"you good, tae?" hoseok shouts. the former turns quickly in faint surprise, his eyes widening slightly at the sudden adopted nickname.

the howls continue, overpowering the wind by a landslide, and taehyung smiles.

"yeah. i'm okay."

abraxas emerges from the buildings.

despite having encountered abraxas so many times before, the goosebumps still well up in multitudes on seokjin's arms, the breath in his throat cuts short, the air around him turns freezing. the monster is enormous. its true physical form seems even more powerful than what they had witnessed at the parking garage, flailing appendages replaced with calculated and strong movements. it stalks forward, a king returning to its palace, and the mercury of its eyes glints with ferocious intent.

strangely, abraxas isn't in position to attack them. it stands leisurely on its two hind limbs, the talons of its back wrapping forward to stab into the ground like walking canes, with a string of low groans emitting from its gaping hole of a mouth. for a moment, all seokjin and those around him can do is stare in fear and confusion. somehow, he hears the way namjoon mutters a curse over the blood rushing through his ears, and seokjin's hand curls into a shaky fist.

"you were right," jimin calls, looking over his shoulder at taehyung. "abraxas isn't going to attack us."

"what's it waiting for, then?"

taehyung steps forward hesitantly. "my move."

the clouds pass over whatever sliver of the moon was visible, leaving only the flickering lights around them as any sort of consolation. taehyung steps forward again, and again, and once more, placing a hand on yoongi's forearm. "may i borrow your handgun?"

seokjin furrows his eyebrows.

"my gun?" yoongi removes it from the holster. "what for?"

if, at that moment, the wind had stopped its screaming, and abraxas had stopped its howling, and the ringing in their ears had subsided, the eight of them would have heard the quiet—hardly audible—words of taehyung, soft as the grass blowing under their feet, faint as the wisps of clouds above them. maybe, if the fog wasn't disguised as vicious wind, they would have seen the sink of taehyung's face as his fingers curled around the cold handgun—so, so cold—and stared it with an emotion undecipherable even to himself. and maybe, if they turned just the slightest direction away from the monster looming in front of them, they would have seen his best friend, the last piece of his stony resolve chipping away like a seashell in a roaring current.

louder, taehyung says, "i want to be able to defend myself. just in case."

"alright. make sure to stay as far as possible away from abraxas. and when you're done...breaking the bond," yoongi pats his back, "come back here."

"you won't approach abraxas, right? you'll stay right here? it's dangerous if you follow me. it might get the wrong idea and attack you guys instead."

"we heard you loud and clear," jae nods, giving an encouraging smile. "now go get it, kiddo. we'll be waiting for you."

abraxas growls louder as the distance between it and taehyung lessens. around them, the air dampens with their anticipation.

then, jimin shouts into the air.

"taehyungie!"

his voice breaks.

"watch the stars with me after this is over, yeah?"

the lamppost next to them flickers, clinging onto whatever power it has left. with each lapse of sudden darkness, seokjin loses track of their expressions.

taehyung smiles.

"okay, chim chim."

rushing forward, the cobblestones underneath taehyung's feet seem to shake as abraxas's voice grows in volume. it swings forward with a long, sharp appendage, almost hitting taehyung square in the chest, and the latter manages to jump backwards at the last moment. it takes every ounce of effort on jeongguk's part to keep mrs. kim from rushing to him.

shoulders heaving slowly, taehyung finally finds a manageable distance away from abraxas where he's far enough not to instigate attack from the monster, but close enough to clearly see its movements. in front of seokjin, the sight is ludicrous; taehyung is small and weak-looking compared to the looming figure of abraxas before him. even the wind looks powerful enough to run him to the ground. and yet, there's a sense of pure determination from the way taehyung is poised, from the way he stands directly in front of the demon who's tortured him for as long as he can remember, with an unwavering resolve. try as he might, seokjin can't doubt it; taehyung can beat abraxas.

suddenly, taehyung pulls away the side of his coat and shirt. eyes affixed to abraxas, he grabs the hilt of a—dagger, to seokjin's immediate surprise, strapped to the inside of his pants' waist.

"is that a knife?" namjoon narrows his eyes, an arm over his forehead. "why did he bring a knife?"

"for self defense, probably. that's why he took yoongi's handgun."

"yeah, but why did he hide it?"

clutching the dagger in his right hand, taehyung shrugs off his coat and lets it fall to the ground. his gray shirt immediately ripples vigorously against his lithe frame, but he doesn't seem to notice, or at least care. all he does is slowly roll his sleeve up and shallowly cut his arm.

seokjin inhales sharply. "hey, taehyung—!"

suddenly, abraxas howls—louder than it had any time before. it stumbles backwards, clutching its right arm with a winding appendage, face contorting in a foreign expression. as black runs down the side of taehyung's arm and onto the cobblestone below him, black runs down abraxas's too: and that's when seokjin realizes. blood. abraxas is bleeding. the sudden understanding catapults him into shock, and he steps backward with wide eyes and a gaping mouth. his eyes dart between taehyung, then to abraxas, back and forth and back and forth and—

and finally, seokjin understands.

"this is taehyung's plan," he whispers, turning slowly to face the others beside him. their expressions are still completely confused, unable to understand what they're seeing, why taehyung just hurt himself, why abraxas is acting—no, why it is—hurt, except for jimin. his eyes are wide, but not of confusion. he knows.

"abraxas is harmed when taehyung is harmed!" seokjin shouts, pointing to the monster continuing to clutch its limb. it probably has never been hurt before, even to such a small degree. "f-fuck, this is what taehyung meant! this was his plan! he knew!"

"wait, what?!" the wind just keeps growing louder. "what do you mean? how does that—"

seokjin desperately turns to taehyung again, watching as he drops the dagger to his feet. he should be moving, trying to stop him, trying to find a solution to the problem—but he can't. he's frozen. he should have realized: all the things taehyung had said, all the things jimin had done, all the signs he should have noticed from the beginning.

"don't!"

seokjin turns to jimin. tears are streaming down his cheeks.

"don't!" jimin roars again. the word is of pure distraught. "don't stop him!"

"taehyung is going to die to kill abraxas, jimin!" shouts seokjin, his voice growing louder. he doesn't notice the way the six others beside them stiffen in response, dawning upon the heavy realization too slowly to act.

"i know," jimin croaks. seokjin stops, eyes wide and glassy. and when he sees the expression on jimin's face, he knows they share the corner they've been backed into. hopelessly, they watch abraxas angrily charge towards taehyung once again. "i know, hyung."

quickly, taehyung raises his arm, something metallic glinting in his hand.

"the handgun," seokjin hears someone say—everything is too vague, too blurry, too muddy right now to fully comprehend. "oh, no. shit, no, taehyung, no! don't do this! don't s-sacrifice your—"

abraxas shrieks with all the madness of a hundred fires and a thousand wars, swinging its appendages this way and that, trying carefully not to touch but capture taehyung. everything is chaotic around them, yet taehyung stays. he stays with the gun in his hand and risks the slightest glance over his shoulder, staring at the eight of them with a serenity so solemn that seokjin suddenly can't breathe over the lump in his throat.

"taehyungie!" mrs. kim screams, wriggling through to desperately run towards her son. but in a flash, taehyung has the tip of the handgun to his temple.

hoseok is shouting. yoongi is heaving. namjoon is stumbling. jae and mrs. kim scream with all the power in their voices, and jeongguk is sprinting. seokjin watches as he desperately runs down the cobblestone path, hopelessly trying to reach taehyung and what, they don't know, but anything rather than this. and jimin—jimin is smiling. he's smiling with crystals running down the slopes of his face as he sees his best friend stare at them and mouth a silent "thank you" with his own smile and his own crystals, too, as the injured, powerless monster behind him attacks with no avail.

time seems to stop as his finger presses down onto the trigger.

and kim taehyung breathes, one last time.

==