— we have control
over less than we think.

OCTOBER 21:
JUNG HOSEOK

==  

hoseok takes a moment to breathe in deeply.

"you've got to be kidding me."

it's been at least an hour since him, namjoon, seokjin, and jimin got back from that—atrocious, if he may add—traffic downtown, and two collectively since the other three went to grab coffee. and by what jae's frustrated words have conveyed, neither jeongguk, yoongi, nor taehyung have gotten back to her large string of texts. the elder lady is pacing frantically up and down the hallway, mumbling phrases like "safe, please be safe", "the idiot probably put his phone on silent," "get back to me, taehyungie..." it's a tense, unsettling mood, to say the least.

taehyung's mother has said a scarce number of words, but the anxious expression on her face is enough of an explanation. in any other situation, their predicament wouldn't even be considered such; it's just three adults, after all, a few hours late with a confused parents at their tail. the circumstances could technically be as anticlimactic as an uncharged phone, or a late taxi. but hoseok knows better. all of them know better. any possibility is fair game, and because of that disconcerting fact, unease floods the room.

"maybe," namjoon clears his throat to rid the shakiness of his words, "maybe the traffic bled into the central part of the city where they are. it makes sense, right? i mean, just think about how long it took us to get here. we've got to give them some time."

seokjin sighs. "then why haven't the texted us? they all have our numbers, right? how can they not see our shit ton of texts, c'mon." and the point does make sense; their phones, at this point, should be flooded with messages concerning their whereabouts, their dinner plans, their general safety, for shit's sake.

"taehyung usually takes really long to respond," jimin says. he's gently rubbing mrs. kim's shoulders, stooped with age, in a form of comfort. "that might be it, but..."

"then what about jeongguk and yoongi?"

"yeah," jimin exhales shakily, "yeah, exactly."

and then, jae's phone vibrates.

in the next moments her fingers are flying, pressing against the screen, as she squints against the harsh electronic light. there's a distinct flicker of relief that passes over her face, but it quickly morphs into confusion: and just as quickly, back to utter assurance. a bright, wrinkled smile stretches across her face. "it's taehyung, thank god."

"really?" it's almost as if the unease is sucked from the room, with air flooding back into their restricted lungs. namjoon grins. "what did he say?"

"it's very brief, but in verbatim—" jae clears her throat, examining the words. "'car accident came up on the way back home. don't worry, nothing serious, just some dummy,'" she chuckles, "'who rammed into another dummy. sorry for the wait! go ahead and eat without us.'" jae frowns halfheartedly. "poor boys, what are they going to eat then? good lord, what a situation. and i had just finished cooking, too."

hoseok feels his stomach churn in hunger.

"...he said we could eat without them, right?"

==

so they do end up eating dinner—guiltily, with the thought of yoongi, jeongguk, and taehyung in the back of some unmoving taxi, but mrs. kim scolds them playfully and tells them not to worry: "better to let some eat than none at all"—, and for a while, whatever lingering anxiety is completely expelled. hoseok can't remember the last time he's had a true, home-cooked meal like this, other than when he went to visit his parents towards the end of final university year (his father makes the absolute best dumplings). god, he's reveling in it. by the end of his second plate, his chopsticks are soaked three-fourths of the way up.

halfway through his fourth roll, jae's phone rings, pressing her to leave the room. hoseok doesn't quite pay attention; the food completely overruns his mental state at the moment. and that's why it requires seokjin to repeat his comment four times for hoseok to finally hear.

"what?"

"i said," says seokjin laughing, "you've had, like, four pounds of rice in the past five minutes."

"it's called appreciation, hyung. seriously though," hoseok turns to mrs. kim, "this is amazing. taehyung is one lucky son."

"i used to make him ginger soup every day when he came home from school," says mrs. kim—softly, her voice scratchy with suppressed emotion. "before he was home schooled, that is. i have no clue why he loved that soup so much—it really isn't that good, in honesty. i have a feeling he just said he liked it because it was so easy to make."

jimin smiles in the corner of hoseok's eye.

"tae was—is," jimin corrects, forcing himself past his fumble, "a little shit like that. used to pull stuff like that all the time; he'd never tell before, but his favorite food is seasoned korean beef. and god is that expensive to make. he felt like it was rude, or something, of him to ask that of his family. said they were already spending so much money on him."

"that's..." namjoon stirs his noodles. "that's so considerate, christ."

"oh, don't think tae's some sort of angel," teases jimin. "that guy's pulled so many pranks on me in public. i'll give the creativity to him, but man, they were brutal."

mrs. kim chuckles, and in that split second hoseok can see taehyung in her face—the familiar crinkle of their eyes, the red of their cheeks, the scrunch of their eyebrows. and finally, it registers to hoseok: all these years, mrs. kim lived without her son, convinced he was dead. he doesn't know how to fathom that. he doesn't know how she is able to deal with it.

hoseok supposes taehyung's family is just stronger than any he has ever met.

and then jae is back in the room, thin strands of graying hair falling from her loose ponytail, with an urgent face. "haewon called. her, iseul, and gunho apparently spotted abraxas a few miles down from the east interior of town."

"oh my god, seriously?" groans seokjin. "what the hell is it doing now?"

"nothing, actually," says jae, chewing the inside of her cheek. "and that's what haewon is intrigued about. she thinks...she thinks that abraxas's physical form is finally wilting fully tonight."

silence. a paused moment to register the words. and then, jimin stumbles to his feet. "what? how does she know?"

"they obviously kept their distance when they spotted abraxas, but apparently it seemed like...it was exhausted, or something. it wasn't attempting to go after them, and it's actions were weak. and its physical form of taehyung is almost completely gone, too; now its essentially just the body of abraxas itself. haewon thinks that's a good indicator that its essence has been almost fully depleted."

"it's just wandering, then?"

"apparently so."

"but that means," seokjin realizes, "that taehyung is going to gain his last memory tonight. right? because the last tether of their intertwining will be broken after abraxas's form is gone."

jae pauses, eyes widening. "yes...oh god, he's going to remember that day. and he isn't even here, oh god."

that day. hoseok sharply inhales. sometime soon, taehyung will remember what happened the day abraxas erased him from the world, four years ago, all that time ago, all that torment ago.

"wait," namjoon's eyebrows furrow. "but that means that...if it won't have a form, then we can't see abraxas anymore. because we're first witnesses, right?"

"yes," jae nods shakily, "but it won't be able to any physical damage without a form. so—"

"but then we're back in the cycle again," jimin cuts, almost desperately, looking to an equally anxious mrs. kim. "the—the cycle of abraxas torturing, killing all these second witnesses. shit, shit—this is too soon, isn't it? it's only been what, three weeks? four?"

"not for the amount of destruction abraxas has done in this form. compared to all the other times, this form—taehyung's—allowed for colossal damage. and that means decreased time, too."

"we need to go there now," seokjin says, biting his lip. "to where they spotted abraxas. it's the only way we can at least try to do something, or at least to figure out what's going on, right?"

"it's dangerous—" begins to protest mrs. kim, but jimin interrupts her.

"it's okay. haewon herself said that abraxas wasn't acting hostile, so it may be done destroying in this form. we'll be okay, mrs. kim."

"we will, really," adds hoseok, throwing an impish grin. "besides, abraxas is weak right now. who knows, we might even land a few punches. i know yoongi wanted to do a solid on it. i wish they were here, dammit..." he trails off, but the unspoken words linger: how will we know what happens to taehyung if he's not even here?

but mrs. kim can't smile. "please," she takes his hands, "please stay safe, all of you. that's all i ask for. i can't come, considering i can't exactly—" her breath quivers, "see...abraxas for who knows why, but watch out for each other. i don't care if abraxas is weak right now. you've seen what it's done before. you've seen what it's done to my son."

hoseok's throat is dry.

"so please: be careful."

namjoon nods. then, he smiles. "we promise, mrs. kim. we'll be okay." he turns to jae. "you'll stay back with her, right? we can't afford to leave each other alone in situations like these."

"of course, kiddo." she takes out her phone. "haewon sent the approximate location of where they spotted abraxas. i'll forward it to you. i've already sent a text to taehyung about the situation, so hopefully him, yoongi, and jeongguk can keep up. take my car, but be careful, seriously; it's already so dark out there, and god knows what could happen. it never hurts to be safe, okay?" she cracks a smile. "and besides, that car is expensive."

and man, does hoseok really appreciate the overwhelming sense of protection.

ten minutes later, with washed faces, "unnecessary" pocket knifes strapped to their belts, and metal keys to a car far too expensive to be labeled as theirs, they're on the road, anxiety and anticipation stirring disastrously in their guts. hoseok's fingers drum against his leg, even more restless than usual. jimin's eyes are glued to the road, directing namjoon along the winding (and empty, which confuses hoseok—doesn't this road go to the central part of the city, as well?) route. seokjin fiddles with the fabric of his jeans in unease.

halfway across the city, three certain men begin to stir.

==

this is a mess of a chapter good fkin bye
yall i am NOT PREPARED for their comeback & exo tryna drop things too?? im only 1 person??? i cant keep up my dudes im drownin
tune in next time for some wild times i love!!! you!!!