—i don't know how to
fix this.

OCTOBER 18:
KIM SEOKJIN

==

"ah, here we are."

the jingle of jae's keys in her frail fingers snaps seokjin to his dazed senses (it's six a.m. and the morning coffee clearly hasn't kicked in yet), and he watches the old woman step out of the car with a soft huff. her energy level is something admirable, he's noticed. it's no wonder she was able to take care of taehyung so well all these long, brutal years.

"sorry for hauling you boys here so early," jae says, struggling to keep a cheery tone. "but it's a thursday and, well, society members have pretty demanding jobs. it was either this or nine in the evening, and i'm sure you'd never be able to wait that long, what with all that's happened, yes?"

seokjin finally shakes the remaining drowsiness from his system and nods, smiling wearily. "you don't know how much we appreciate what you're doing for us, auntie."

"jae," she corrects. "we know each other, i'd think, well enough to discard formalities. and it's not just the right thing, kiddo. it's the necessary thing."

when seokjin glances at the others from the corner of his eye, he sees miles of events: from the exploded subway, to the fourteen dead in sunab—including the car crash—, to seeing abraxas and taehyung separately, and to the fact that wonchol still hasn't been caught, much less tracked, by the police yet.

there's also determination. seokjin feels it, too.

==

when they step into the large, victorian-styled house, seokjin realizes just what jae meant by "people with money".

the mansion, rather, is unlike anything he's ever seen before: high ceilings and sparkling chandeliers, marble columns and glossy wooden floors, silken rugs and leather sofas. the place reeks authority and success, and seokjin feels just the slightest intimidated. it's placement itself is a bit reserved, maybe thirty or so miles down from the interior of useol, that allows it to gloat its extravagance in isolation. if it weren't for the fact that someone here is a first witness, seokjin would crinkle his nose in distaste.

it's only when seokjin sees hoseok and namjoon shaking hands with a few people that he tunes into the conversation.

"ree gunho," says a short, stout-looking man with wide, perpetually-concerned eyes and a thick mustache. "feel free to drop honorifics, please. you'll be talking side by side with us, anyway." he gestures to a thin, steel-faced woman with choppy bangs, "that is kim haewon—one of the society's most important members, if i might add. she—"

"i'm just a communications asset," interrupts haewon, voice monotone. "that's all."

"and i'm," says the last one, a tall, awkwardly-built man with thickly rimmed glasses and a warm smile, "gwon iseul. i'm afraid we couldn't gather any other members, unfortunately. it's just us and jae, as we know of, in useol."

"that's not a problem at all, really," namjoon says, struggling with his words. "i, um...we're just, we just want answers. if you can give that to us, then you've done more than enough."

"of course!" gunho squeaks. "sit down, sit down, can i get you some tea? some soda? do you boys drink? i have some beer in the second fridge—"

"wow," jeongguk murmurs beside seokjin, "this place is insane."

seokjin nods in agreement. when jae told them they would meet the society, this isn't quite what he had expected. in his mind, it was much more of an intense, no-time-for-emotions atmosphere. not that he's going to complain; tea does sound pleasing to have while discussing the whereabouts of an unearthly demon, doesn't it?

eventually they do get seated and, after a bit of small talk and a brief quarrel between haewon and iseul over the wine choice, jimin clears his throat and speaks.

"intertwining," he says, and taehyung visibly tenses up next to him. "jae told us that...taehyung is intertwined to abraxas. is that why abraxas targets us?"

"i'm not sure about targeting," haewon murmurs, placing her cup onto the table and looking up, lips taut in a thin line. "but i do know that, since taehyung's spirit is somehow so strong, abraxas's being can crack and his memories will bleed into its mind. only briefly, but it happens. has there ever been an instance where you confronted abraxas and...it seemed almost human?"

seokjin inhales sharply. when yoongi said that abraxas had called out for taehyung's mother during the vandalism of his store, or when it had called for jimin when it saw the shoes, or whenever it seemed to be in pain whenever it grew those long, hideous talons from its skin—yes. yes, there have been. and it finally makes sense.

"i think," iseul takes a breath, "sometimes, taehyung's memories were almost fighting for consciousness in abraxas. and when abraxas felt this, it always answered with turning back into itself momentarily. the talons, the black blood, the mercury and white eyes, the inhuman noises: that was all to drive whatever consciousness taehyung's memories had gained out."

everyone turns to a shocked taehyung. "i—i didn't even know i was...doing that," he whispers.

"that's because it's a subconscious feeling. you didn't have the memories that were doing that to abraxas, so you had—have—no control over it."

"so the clues," seokin suddenly mumbles, and he doesn't realize the words have been said until all eyes are on him. "the clues. the newspaper, the video, 325—it was all abraxas, but with taehyung's subconscious."

"clues?" gunho asks. his mustache twitches and it's almost amusing. but seokjin isn't thinking about that. the period of time that the newspaper got back and the closeness to the exploding building in useol are too related, especially with the carefulness of the clues in accordance to the video: abraxas planned all of its destroying escapades, and taehyung's subconscious had to keep up with the clues.

"oh my god," yoongi breathes. "so taehyung—the actual kim taehyung was helping us the whole time."

taehyung pulls his knees to his chest. there's an uneasy expression on his face, one that seokjin knows all too well—the face of taking in confusing as hell information all at once.

"so the newspaper i found," namjoon says, swallowing thickly. "the one about taehyung's...murder, specifically," he looks down as taehyung curls his arms around his legs tighter, "that i found earlier this month was stolen by abraxas, then?"

"a newspaper on specifics?" gunho's eyebrows furrows. "not many were able to be published. one of our society members was able to publish a brief newspaper article, trying to persuade the public that taehyung's supposed 'death' obviously wasn't a suicide. that might have been the one you found."

"i...i think it is."

"it was to get the attention back on a story that shouldn't have just been buried under the dust. unfortunately, it didn't get much attention. but this was all before the society, of course. he had no idea taehyung had lived the whole time."

"wait," jimin clears his throat, "you know the author? who is it? who wrote the newspaper article?"

"i can't quite recall," sighs gunho. "it was a young man, i know that. but yes, the newspaper was most likely stolen by abraxas. it's able to do all sorts of insane things like that with its physical form, things that happen in the slightest of moments. things you won't even notice happen."

"but why?"

"to get the attention off of taehyung, is my guess," haewon says. "if everyone believed taehyung to be dead, especially witnesses, it would make its job a hell of a lot easier. and a newspaper disputing just that, paired with an investigator like you, just seemed like an obstacle to it."

"so," jeongguk furrows his eyebrows, "that means that abraxas has intelligence, then?"

"oh, abraxas isn't just some stumbling, stupid monster you see on t.v., kid. this thing has common sense, tactics, problem solving, everything that suggests a conscience. it knows how to play games."

the room seems to drop twenty degrees.

"so when the newspaper somehow winded up back into namjoon's jacket," seokjin is almost speaking to himself, "that was taehyung's memories acting up? trying to help us? trying to help him out of abraxas?"

"by what you've said, i would think so."

"but that doesn't make sense. that was the same day the car crash occurred, and that was obviously abraxas's doing, right? so how could...how could both taehyung's memories and abraxas itself be acting?"

"cracking abraxas's mind is like flipping a switch," iseul explains. "it happens just like that. it doesn't matter if one minute it's dousing flames in gasoline; the next, it could be calling out for jimin, or taehyung's parents if something triggers it, whether that be a word or just a random sight."

"that's how abraxas suddenly changed back in the forest," hoseok mutters. "the shoes flipped the switch."

the shoes. that's still one mystery that they still don't understand.

"i have one more question," jimin suddenly whispers. he sees taehyung tense beside him and close his eyes, and seokjin can tell they've discussed whatever he's about to say before.

"what happens after taehyung gains back his his last memory?"

haewon brushes hair from her eyes.

"in all honesty, we don't know. the society only understands so much; taehyung is the first living second witness we've ever encountered that is intertwined to abraxas. as of now, the whole situation is...is a mystery.

"but," she continues, briefly giving a supportive smile, "nothing will happen to taehyung: meaning, he'll stop vomiting blood. once he remembers everything, abraxas's physical form will be completely wilted, and it will seek the world for a different second witness. taehyung will be the first survivor, the miracle, of something no one has ever come back alive from."

the miracle. for some reason, the term is bitter on seokjin's tongue. and from the looks of the others, it's likewise for them, too.

"but that's not miraculous," taehyung replies, unwrapping his arms from his legs. "abraxas will still be out there. it'll still be doing all the...the fucked up things it did to me, but to other people. can't we stop it? k-kill it? or it's going to be doing this again, and again, and again..."

the silence is excruciating.

"taehyung," jae says softly, placing a hand on his leg. "we don't know how, kiddo. it's impossible. we don't even know the world it comes from. humans can't even get close to abraxas, much less kill it."

"can't we try?" he whispers.

and when he says those words, seokjin realizes.

realizes that technically, their mission is complete: find the real kim taehyung, bring him back safe. but even taehyung himself knows that resolves nothing. and when seokjin turns to the others, he knows they all share the same thought.

because if they don't find a way to stop abraxas, then god knows how many more will be tormented. and god knows how many won't make it out alive.

==

my bitchass was listening to classical music the whole time writing this i totally know how to set the mood!!!
things are finally gonna pick up pace after this chap oof that only took too long
how are you all doing? how was your day? tell me something abt yourself c: