— i should have
trusted him.

OCTOBER 17:
JEON JEONGGUK

==

it takes twenty minutes to drive to jae's apartment complex, and every second is agonizing.

for jeongguk, it's surreal. absolutely insane, though that hasn't been an uncommon feeling the past month (hell, the past two hours, for christ's sake). he barely understood what jae had said; his mind was completely focused on the fact that kim taehyung, the boy who died four years ago, has been alive the whole time. everything is just...crazy.

three weeks ago, he scoffed at paranormal movies. now it seems he's living in one.

ironically, compared to every one else, jimin is the calmest. his expression is unreadable, fingers loosely clenched against the material of his jeans, as the thinnest exhales escape his lips. jeongguk can't help but stare and wonder. he's about to see the best friend he buried four years ago. who the hell can stay calm at that?

"jimin?" namjoon turns around as they enter the complex, fixating him with a concerned stare. jae presses the buzzer and opens the metal gates. "you okay, bud?"

he manages a pitiful laugh. "i...i don't know."

the answer is as honest as it can get.

it's as if jeongguk's heart is ready to burst when they arrive at the door. jae fumbles with her keys and they hold their breaths, waiting for the moment they get to see the real taehyung, and not abraxas. waiting for the moment they get to have their questions answered. waiting for the moment they get to see jimin become whole again.

a hand takes jeongguk's own, and he turns to his side quickly to see a grinning hoseok staring back at him. he encouragingly and juts his chin to the others, gesturing at their intertwined hands. the unspoken message is clear in the air. we did this. we found taehyung.

jeongguk smiles and squeezes his hand back.

and the door is finally opening, slowly revealing a large, expensive apartment with modern decor that are comically foreign to jeongguk. the six of them step onto the wooden floor and follow jae into her living room.

she clears her throat. "taehyung, come here."

silence. the quiet sound of an swinging door. the soft thumps of footsteps. the rush of blood in jeongguk's ears.

taehyung steps into the living room and everything seems to stop.

even amber hair, tan well skin, clothes clean and whole, eyes wide with surprise, breathing. the sight is a complete 180 to the figure jeongguk saw in the subway footage, in the graveyard, in the news program—

this is the real kim taehyung.

jimin is the one to step forward into the silence, footsteps uncoordinated and eyes just as large. there's the smallest noise that escapes his throat, something in between a rasp and a syllable, that doesn't escape his ears. jeongguk watches as jimin just takes in taehyung, takes in the four years he wasn't able to witness, takes in the health of his body that was never, never there before, takes in the way taehyung's face morphs into his own recognition and shock.

"taehyungie," jimin croaks, almost to himself.

it takes a moment for taehyung to respond. when he does, his words are broken and his lips are in a bittersweet smile.

"hey, chim chim."

and jimin's arms are around taehyung, winding so tightly around his back that the fabric of taehyung's shirt bunches against his arms, but they don't care. there's urgency in the way they embrace, desperation to assure themselves that they are here, with each other, with the person that they thought they had lost to their memories. taehyung grips at jimin's flannel with all the strength he can and scrunches his eyes shut. and jeongguk just watches, silently, as tears claw at both their lashes. 

jimin tangles a hand into taehyung's hair, and that's when he begins to cry—desperately, loudly, honestly. his forehead is buried in taehyung's shoulder, chest heaving and arms tightening. it echoes against the tall walls of the apartment in a cacophony of tears.

 jeongguk swears whatever emotional dam he had breaks at that moment.

"i've missed you," jimin chokes out. "i've—i've missed you so much, buddy."

taehyung nods, a sob disguised as a laugh escaping his lips. "i know."

"i thought, i thought you were dead—"

"i wish i could have seen you sooner—"

"we looked for you everywhere—"

"i'm here."

jimin looks up, eyes rimmed with redness and thick tears. 

"i should have believed you sooner, taehyungie," he whispers. "because you were right about everything."

==

introductions are held soon after between the five others and taehyung. jimin speaks with a raw voice and slight gestures, pointing at each of them with a wide grin. there's an overwhelming expression of gratitude on taehyung's face as jimin talks—"they helped me try to figure out what was going on, tae, they helped me when no one else would"—, and jeongguk finds himself smiling, too.

"and that's jeongguk," jimin says lastly, eyes boring into his own, and jeongguk prepares himself for the onslaught of degrading comments bound to follow (it's not like he and jimin have had the best of interactions). at least, he deserves them. in regards to taehyung, the real taehyung, he's been a complete asshole: completely convinced that abraxas's destruction was all taehyung's doing and his only. 

"he's younger than all of us, and he's built like a machine," jimin quirks a smile, "but he's a good guy. he got shot, y'know, by an insane first witness. right in the shoulder. he was s'posed to keep a gauze for a few weeks, but the little shit took it off a four days after. can you believe him?"

"he and yoongi," hoseok shakes his head, "man, they're something."

taehyung laughs—it sounds sincere, human—and jeongguk can't help but just stare in surprise at jimin. he was convinced jimin hated him, especially from that threatening conversation outside the hospital; but now jeongguk realizes. it's not like jimin despised him or took the effort to ignore him. he just wanted to protect taehyung.

jeongguk extends his hand and chuckles, "i'm the little shit of the group, he's got me," and waits for taehyung to shake back. but he doesn't. his mouth uplifts into a smile and he hugs jeongguk instead.

"what, you think i'm gonna settle for a handshake when you literally reunited me with my best friend? every one of you deserves a fuckin' planet, for god's sake."

it takes a moment of stunned silence for jeongguk to smile and hug back.

this is the real taehyung: a normal guy with a squarish grin and garfield sweaters, with warm arms and bright eyes. this is the taehyung they wanted, and still want, to save.

ten minutes later, jimin and taehyung are reminiscing everything they can as they sit tangled on the living room couch, voices hushed and smiles wide. the soft drum of jeongguk's fingers against the dinner table echoes against the walls, and jae enters the room with a steaming jug of green tea.

"your faces tell me you still have plenty of questions," she says as she sits on an empty chair. "am i correct?"

"i think we have more because of today," seokjin murmurs, pouring himself a glass. 

"naturally. it took me a long while to understand all of this myself."

the only sound that passes is the trickle of tea until yoongi speaks. "i just..." he exhales deeply. "why couldn't you tell taehyung about the monster—abraxas—earlier? you said it would put him in danger, but...i don't know how."

jae nods. "it was the society who told me to, actually. i wanted to tell taehyung at first—once i had come in to contact with the articles on his 'murder' and realized he was a second witness, that is. but abraxas had his memories, right? and at the time, it was still cultivating its physical form using them. so, if i were to have told him about his situation...he wouldn't have gained his memories back, but he would know of abraxas. his mind wouldn't be fully wiped anymore. and that would have intertwined taehyung's being more with it."

she pauses, staring at their confused expressions.

"think of it like this," jae says, leaning forward. "abraxas is able to develop a physical form from its—its killed hosts, yes? before, there weren't any people intertwined to abraxas and its forms, because they had died. the only reason abraxas was able to make a physical form out of a living being—taehyung—is because taehyung didn't have his personal memories. he wasn't intertwined yet. there was no connection to him and abraxas any more, aside from his lost memories.

"abraxas ignored taehyung for those four years because it had no use for him anymore. if i told taehyung everything, abraxas's cultivation of its form would slow because of taehyung's presence in its being, too. being intertwined means exactly that: having their presences with each other, but in a reverse balance. so if one presence gains, the other dulls; taehyung knows more, abraxas slows down. abraxas tortures more, taehyung grows weak."

jeongguk chews his lip.

"the process is exactly what is happening now, but by abraxas's hand. it has no choice but to fade its form if it wants to keep destroying. but if its form slowed down back then, abraxas would have gotten angry and used whatever power it had to try and kill taehyung, try to 'finish the job'."

"so..." namjoon swallows. "so if you told him earlier...even without his memories, abraxas would have tried to kill him? because they would have intertwined too early?"

"yes. and besides..." jae manages a weak smile. "these four years were the only years he could be a regular person, without the threat of his memories, or abraxas's presence. i had no way to come into contact with his family, and i had no idea who chim—jimin—was. so, not telling him...that was letting him just live a normal life."

"yeah," jeongguk whispers, and suddenly his chest hurts. "a normal life."

he turns to jimin and taehyung, laughing quietly with each other on the couch.

something they never had.

"you boys had best get some sleep," jae says, suddenly standing up, and jeongguk quickly turns back with wide eyes. "you've got plenty to do tomorrow."

"huh?" hoseok squints. "like what?"

"for starters, i'm taking you to meet the society."

==

sigh i just want to write action already
these are just like shitty explanation chaps bc theres so much to explain & youre probably like "wht the fuc this dum" and u right!! this dum!! but ay!!
cya next time ilu