—what am i
supposed to do?

OCTOBER 5:
JUNG HOSEOK

==

there are three instances in which jung hoseok believes he is crazy.

the first is two days prior as he watches the news (it's a nightly ritual; just because he's a coffee boy doesn't mean he can't be a detective himself, too), eyes affixed to the screen with severity to outmatch anyone else. it's a frankly creepy story—some morbid subway crash, the cause unknown, with casualties to beat the most recent headlines.

he does, in fact, see the strange-looking boy in the video. and he does find it a bit strange that no one on the news program is paying any attention to him.

the second is a day after, a gloomy excuse of a thursday, when hoseok is lazily filling a few cups of coffee for namjoon's coworkers. he overhears a familiar conversation between a woman in ironed slacks and a man with lanky, disproportionate arms.

"a shame, really." the woman tucks a curly piece of hair behind her ear. "honestly, what is the police doing these days? how on earth do you not know the cause of a piece of machinery that size to explode?"

hoseok pushes back the urge to roll his eyes, because—well, it's kind of the detective agency's responsibility to be solving things like this.

"right! honestly, and that footage they played? what use was that to show? there was nothing but flames in that video." the man scoffs and fiddles with the hem of his tie pretentiously. "i swear, this city is doomed with security like this."

hoseok furrows his eyebrows together in confusion, holding the misty coffee cup in tense hands. incertitude builds up in his lungs as he walks to the pair of workers, lip tucked between his teeth, but he's already too curious to back out.

"hey, hi," hoseok greets abruptly, ignoring the irritated glares he's given, "um, you guys were talking about that, that video? the one on the news?"

"and your point?" says the man, voice unconcerned.

"i mean, just—you guys saw that man in the video, right? don't you think he's a little shady?"

hypothetically, it seems impossible for the conversation to get anymore awkward; but it does as a span of silence falls between the three, the woman persistent in her glaring and the man refusing to even glance at hoseok.

"a guy?" the woman finally speaks, and hoseok breaths again.

"um, yeah, he—he was wearing that weird hat thing, y'know? and a really baggy shirt?" hoseok forces a meager grin. "kinda shady, huh?"

"i," the man takes a deep breath and strokes his tie again, "have no clue what you're going on about, kid."

"i think you've got the wrong headline," says the woman airily, picking at a manicured nail. "now, those coffee cups, do you think you could fill mine real quick—"

"no, listen—please?" hoseok adds hastily, clumsily bringing out his phone and surfing through his bookmarks for that stupid video, god, why does he feel so uneasy? "look, lemme show you. i guess the video was a little blurry, so it might've been—"

with a halt of his breath, hoseok trails off. now that he thinks about it, the guy in the footage was awfully...clear. despite the fuzzy background and lagging frames, his figure was wholly visible—down to even the facial features—, and it sinks hoseok's lungs just thinking about it again.

with a quick shake of his head, he brings up the video and places the phone between the three of them, to which the man and woman reluctantly watch. in less than thirty seconds, the guy is shown on the cracked screen, an anxious crease between thick eyebrows.

"see?" hoseok doesn't understand why his speech comes out as a whisper. "right there. that guy."

both the man and woman blink.

"i still don't see a man," says the latter. "are you okay?"

the third instance is right now, barely twenty hours after the previous ordeal. hoseok stands with a stack of files in his arms and stares at the two men in front of him with a gaping mouth.

"pardon?" hoseok manages to choke out, words abrupt on his tongue.

the darker haired of the two holds a battered-down camera in his hands, eyes weary from sleep (or maybe lack thereof), and begins to speak. "i said, do any of your detectives specialize in paranormal activity?"

hoseok blinks. he flicks his eyes to the floor, then around the busy office, then to the men again. "wh—like, ghosts?"

"don't give us that look, please." picking at his jacket with an abrupt yawn, the light-haired male fixates hoseok with an almost irritated glare. "i've dealt with enough this morning. no one even wanted an appointment with us."

"jimin," the other mutters through slightly gritted teeth, "not the time." he looks at hoseok again and sighs. "look, we've been here for eight hours now. i just—i need my question answered. please."

hoseok swallows the slightest. eight hours? did they stay the entire night or something? "i mean...not that i know of, i'm pretty sure we don't have any..." he trails off, looking at the men again (and then feeling guilty over the crestfallen look both adorn). but he can't really pity them. what kind of a detective agency do they think it is? ghostbusters?

supposedly jimin curses under his breath. "i told you, yoongi. detectives are assholes here."

"shut up, jimin," yoongi hisses, "stop being irritated. i haven't gotten sleep either, remember?"

hoseok doesn't know how to retaliate, partially due to the fact that he's a coffee boy and jimin's insult doesn't quite work on him. because, unfortunately, he agrees; most detectives at the agency are assholes.

but that's only most, hoseok realizes. "wait, i—i think i know someone who'd be willing to speak with you."

jimin looks up. "yeah? who?"

"kim namjoon, he's a good...friend of mine." at least, i think that. "and he's really smart, too. he'd be the last person to judge you guys, he isn't like that."

"why can't you help us?"

hoseok forces a laugh, biting his lip. "well, i'm just a coffee boy."

but i swear, i can work just as hard as any detective can.

"oh." jimin looks embarrassed and averts his eyes to the black zipper of his boot. "ah. sorry."

hoseok manages a meager smile, because that's what he's supposed to do. deal with the insults, deal with the glares, shrug it off because he's bubbly, happy jung hoseok, the sunshine boy with no reason to be upset. but he does. he does have reasons. he's just forced to pretend they don't exist.

"just follow me. i'll take you to his office, he's usually there around this time."

the walk is silent and tense, an awkward atmosphere around them, and hoseok sighs under his breath. he fiddles with his fingers and finds his mind trailing back to that subway video. not for good reason, of course.

i wonder if we should actually have a paranormal department?

"here," hoseok cuts his own thoughts off and points to a glossy oak door, popping a toothy grin soon after. "this is namjoon's office. he—"

the door swings open, "hoseok," and namjoon stumbles out, hair disheveled, "hoseok, c'mere, i need to show..."

namjoon trails off, eyeing the two men beside hoseok with scrutiny. "who are they?"

"clients—"

"hoseok, there's something urgent, just tell them to wait. i've got—"

"wait, wait. no fucking way." jimin shoves past yoongi and glares. "i'm not waiting another minute, alright? i have something urgent and i'm trying my damn hardest to not explode in anger, so you better talk with me."

"you don't understand, namjoon...sir," yoongi adds after swallowing, "jimin, he—his best friend, he might be alive. that's why he's so—"

"might be alive?" hoseok asks, eyebrows furrowed. "what, was he dead before?"

"yes!" jimin shouts, and namjoon widens his eyes. "fucking hell, taehyung's been dead for the past, i don't know, four years—"

"wait—taehyung? you said, taehyung? that's your best friend?" namjoon's voice is suddenly loud and urgent, hands shaking. "k...kim taehyung, by chance?"

jimin narrows his eyes. "how the hell do you know?"

namjoon bites his lip, looking down. "you saw the news footage, right?"

"what?"

"the subway one. with the boy? with—with taehyung in it?"

silence.

"how did...you can see it too?" yoongi whispers.

hoseok's eyes widen, looking to namjoon, then to the pair of men. "no one else could see when...when i showed them," he manages to stutter out, expression pained in realization.

namjoon turns to face hoseok, lip tucked between his teeth and hair disarrayed. after a long pause of silence, he finally opens his office door and gestures inside.

"c'mon," he says urgently, "come inside. we'll talk in there. because i showed people, too. i showed the whole damned city, probably. and no one could see but you guys."

jimin swallows, and yoongi fiddles with the security camera in his hands absentmindedly. locking the door behind them, hoseok situates himself near namjoon and chews the inside of his cheek.

"i've been investigating taehyung's case, actually," namjoon mutters, eyeing jimin almost apprehensively. "so i knew something was up when i saw him on the screen."

"you have?" jimin manages a smile. "you have? are there any others? do you think you guys will figure out his—"

"n-no...no, it's just me." namjoon averts his eyes. "i'm not even allowed to be investigating it, actually..."

jimin leans back and manages a nod.

"do you think it's a decoy, or something?" yoongi asks. "like a doppelganger?"

namjoon shakes his head. "no, how could it be? why would that be the case if only—only we can see him?"

jimin takes a shuddered breath, and hoseok cracks his knuckles restlessly. "so?" the latter responds. "what's your point, then?"

namjoon licks his lips nervously.

"what if taehyung never died in the first place?"

==

im in love w jung hoseok
and here ends the first loop of narration AHA
this chap was so boring but necessary m sorry
dw i swear exposition is more or less oVer like i hate it so now expect nice things ;))
vote comment do ya thing i appreciate