NINETEEN. 

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Despite Nick's order for us not to, we lost it.

Alby hated the idea- that much I could tell by his facial expression alone. Gally tipped back his chair so far it almost fell over. Minho jumped out of his, spreading his arms out so he almost hit Zart. Clark was red in the face instantly; his freckles weren't visible at all beneath the vibrant color of his cheeks. I stayed seated with my heart falling into my stomach.

But one voice sounded above all the others, and that voice was David's.

"What about Link?"

Instantly, everyone went completely still and silent. The poor boy was shaking from where he stood, fists clenched at his sides. His awkwardly thin body was trembling from head to toe. His dark skin was shining with sweat, black hair in a complete mess upon his head. There were tears blurring his brown eyes.

"Link went on one of your escape missions and died for it," he continued in a voice raw with emotion. "What's to say someone won't die in this one, too?"

The expression on Nick's face was both patient and frazzled at the same time. He briefly closed his eyes before opening them and running a hand down his face. When he opened his mouth, everyone knew he was going to start making a speech again, so we all sat back to let him talk.

"Listen, guys," he began, "I understand your hesitance. Link died the last time I came up with one of these ideas- he died because I was too stupid to remember safety regulations. That won't happen again. I won't let it happen again, which is why I'm going by myself.

"We've been trapped in this place for two shucking years. We've spent said years under careful surveillance for shuck-knows-why by the Creators, who have let all of these things happen to us. Who have sat back and relaxed in their chairs while we suffer, die, and become torn apart. I'm willing to risk my own life if it means getting you guys out of here. I care about you slintheads so shucking much. You're my family, ya hear? You're my family."

He was getting slightly choked up- that much I could see by the way he looked down and wiped beneath his eyes. I felt a tug at my heartstrings. Nick was like an older brother to me. He was my family, too.

"Nick," Alby began in a surprisingly mellow voice, "if you die..."

"If I die, I die," Nick stated matter-of-factly. "Ain't no way around it. If I get hurt, I get hurt; If I fall down the hole, I fall down the hole. It's life. Gotta accept it."

"But - I - don't - want - to!" Clark exclaimed, his voice increasing in volume with every word. He scooted his chair closer to Nick, the effort it took causing him to break up his speech like that. "I don't want anyone else to die. I don't want anyone else to get hurt!"

"Gathering dismissed," Nick called out instead. "I'm trying the Box tomorrow morning."

Clark's mouth twisted in a scowl before he shot out of his chair and stormed out of the room.

--

The Keeper of the Raisers was nowhere to be seen the next day. Even as most of the Glade was crowded around the Box to watch our leader descend into it, his shock of red hair didn't stand out in the mass of people. Nick had told most of the people to go back to their jobs. Obviously they hadn't listened, intrigued with the possible escape route.

Biting my nails had never been a habit of mine, but I found myself unable to stop as I stood in the very front along with the other Keepers. Nerves were churning in my stomach and crashing around dangerously. It made me worried I would be sick.

Nick held a piece of ivy securely in his hands, his face slightly pale as he stared down at the empty Box hole. His feet teetered in the edge. A slow breath puffed out his cheeks; he shook out his nerves and wiped his hands on his pants to rid them of the sweat.

"Alright," he began, casting a lingering glance down the square-shaped hole before turning to face the crowd, "here's how it's gonna go: I'm gonna go down as far as I can. It should be pretty far considering we've tied about ten vines together, but we'll see. Gally, Zart, Alby, and Frypan will be the ones hoisting me down and back up if need be."

He turned back toward the Box before releasing another shaking breath. The ivy was securely wrapped around his torso in a tight knot, so it'd be pretty impossible for him to slip out. I could sense his own nerves no matter how hard he was trying to play it off that he wasn't afraid.

"See you on the other side." Nick saluted us before placing a foot on the edge and slowly climbing down.

The entire Glade waited with baited breath as Nick disappeared from view. People gathered around closer to try and get a better look at him, but with the sun casting shadows down the Box, it soon became almost impossible to see him. The only indication of the fact he was alive was the scraping of his feet against the metal and the vine steadily moving farther and farther down.

"You see anything?" Alby called, cupping a hand around his mouth to direct the shout down the hole.

"Not yet!" Nick answered back. "It's really dark, and--"

He stopped mid-sentence. There were two seconds of silence before Alby spoke again.

"And what?" he sounded truly worried. The vine didn't move, and he wet his lips. "Nick?"

"Just...thought I heard somethin'," Nick mumbled. His voice was hardly intelligible, echoing back up to us. "It's nothing."

Chuck was standing somewhere behind me. I turned around to see him anxiously biting his nails, which were already stubby enough. I wasn't sure if he fully understood what was going on, and if he knew the risk Nick was taking.

"Shuck!" Nick exclaimed, making me jump.

"What is it?" I asked, feeling fear starting to churn my stomach even more. My sweating hands gripped onto the ends of my unzipped jacket.

"Something just whizzed by my-- oh, shit!"

"What's going on?" Zart questioned, bending down as far as he dared. It was no use; the vine seemed to descend into complete darkness.

David ran his hands down his face. Alby appeared stricken, which was unusual considering he and Nick had never been the best of friends. Garret had the decency to take Chuck and lead him deeper into the crowd. Winston buried his fingers into his hair, causing it to stick up in all directions.

"Pull me up!" Nick sounded desperate, his voice full of sheer terror. The three Keepers holding the vine immediately started pulling with all of their might. "Come on! Pull me u--"

Silence. The entire Glade was so quiet you could hear the faraway sounds of the Maze groaning in the distance. A slight breeze blew across us. The fear and anxiety were palpable, like a fog choking everyone.

Alby swallowed. "Nick?"

"Hey, Nick!" Gally shouted roughly when he didn't respond, though I could see the concern in his own eyes. "Answer us, you shank! What's going on down there?"

"Holy shuck," Frypan gasped. "Come on, guys. Let's pull him up."

Together, he, Gally, Zart, and Alby heaved the vines back up as quickly as they could. Their arms bulged and teeth grit together as they fought to pull. The top of Nick's head appeared through the shadows. With one final tug, he was back on the grass.

The Glade was quiet again, but this time out of shock.

"Holy shuck," Frypan whispered under his breath, eyes the size of golf balls.

I covered my mouth, feeling my eyebrows push together and surprise hit me square in the stomach. I stepped back into Theo, who was so stunned he barely seemed to notice. My eyes couldn't look away from what I was seeing.

Nick was completely still. His bottom half was barely hanging on due to the mass of ivy wrapped around his torso. Something had sliced him in half. His crystal blue eyes were still wide open, staring at nothing and mouth open in a silent scream.

David gave a violent lurch and put a hand over his mouth. He pushed through the crowd, and ten seconds later, the sound of him throwing up met my ears.

Zart fell to his knees. The ivy slipped out of Alby's hands and Gally was fighting not to let his jaw tremble.

"Baggers," Alby called in a wavering voice. He wiped his eyes and looked away from Nick's body lying in front of him.

Theo marched forward and slowly knelt down at Nick's side on only one knee. His distraught face screwed up as he looked at our leader's unseeing eyes. With a shaking hand, he reached forward and closed his jaw. Then, he let out a trembling sob and gently shut his eyelids. Theo buried his face in his knee as his shoulders shook.

Our two Baggers, Hugh and Wes, approached with heavy steps. Hugh grabbed Nick's arms and pulled him farther away from the Box. Once he was a good foot or two away, they cut off the vine with knives, picked him up, and carried him away. The crowd parted for them.

The air had scarcely felt heavier than this.

"Oh, shuck," Alby mumbled. "Clark--"

The redhead was standing completely still, hands clenched at his sides. He hadn't been visible until the mass of Gladers moved. His eyes followed the Baggers as they carried Nick's body toward the Deadheads, where our graveyard was. The expression on his face was unreadable.

And the bomb exploded.

"I hate you, Nick!" Clark screamed after him. His mouth twisted in a scowl, face flushing. "I told you not to die! I - hate - you!"

I bit my lip before swiftly walking through the opening in the crowd until I was beside him. Slowly, I eased myself to the grass and wrapped my arms around him. His thin body was wracking with sobs as hot tears streamed down his face.

"I hate him," Clark mumbled. "I hate him so much."

"No, you don't." I shook my head knowingly.

"I hate that he died. He was the one who understood me, who talked to me about - about - you know." A shuddering breath. "And now he's dead and--"

Clark couldn't finish. He leaned into my shoulder and accepted my embrace, curling his fist around my jacket for reassurance. I closed my eyes and felt tears start to trickle down my face. The mind-numbing shock was starting to disappear, which meant the grief was next.

Nothing would ever be the same.

--

The Gathering room seemed a lot smaller despite the fact only one person was missing. But Nick - broad-shouldered, long-legged Nick - was always in the center. Alby left that chair open and instead sat in the one usually used for other people.

He seemed smaller than normal. Alby was tall and wide, but he was almost caving in on himself.

"Alright," he started. "Obviously, things are gonna be very different around here. I'm the second-in-command, which means I'm the new leader by default. The, um, rules will stay the same. But if I'm gonna be the leader of this place, I've gotta have my own second-in-command, right?"

"Did you choose someone?" Matt questioned.

"I just did," Alby replied matter-of-factly.

"You already picked someone?" Gally questioned with a twinge of outrage in his voice. "Alby, Nick just died three hours ago."

"It's almost like you've had this planned," Clark accused in a sour tone. He sat back in his chair with his arms crossed.

"If I hear one more word, I'm throwin' you both out the door for the rest of this Gathering, ya hear?" Alby demanded, his eyes flickering between the two Keepers. "Good that. And yes, I have my second-in-command picked out already. That person is Newt, which means he'll be joining us for everything from now on."

A surge of joy filled me despite the venom in Alby's words directed toward Clark and Gally. Newt being second-in-command would mean he'd have more to do all day than just helping the Track-hoes out. It'd be good for him- walking around, having a stable job again.

"Things are different now, shanks," Alby said. "From now on, this ain't no game. Nobody is going to be a freeloader- everyone does their part. Got that?" He didn't wait for an answer. "Good. Gathering dismissed."

Slightly shocked by his harsh words, the Keepers took their time getting out of the room. Minho hissed into my ear as we walked, "Is it just me, or does Alby seem like more of a dictator?"

"He's been in charge for about two minutes, Minho," I replied. "Give him a break."

"If I were in charge," Clark stated, "I'd have eased into it more. Bugs me to no end how he called a Gathering like this just three hours after our leader died."

"I miss him," David sighed. "Real bad."

Minho nodded and placed a hand on David's shoulder. "We all do, bud. We all do."

------

poor nick ): rip u beautiful kind bisexual ray of sunshine

-kristyn