XXIV

My chin rested on my knee, pressing harshly against the skin. But I didn't move. Even when my teeth clenched together almost painfully, an almost dull ache beginning to settle in my jaw from sitting like this for too long. I didn't dare move, opting to just watch, instead. Listen to the cries that fell from his mouth and onto the pavement, below. Naruto seemed to bury himself in agony, refusing any sort of consolation to me.

But what could I possibly offer?

This wasn't like when Surge's mother died. I couldn't just hold him in my arms and tell him everything would be okay. That even though she was gone, she loved him very much. That he still had his father and brother. What did Naruto have? Nothing. Even now, sitting here with him, I was no comforting factor. What did I matter?

And, oh god, was he angry. The boy, with a fury to surpass even mine, tore at the pure blond strands that adorned his head, tearing until I was sure there would be nothing left. Of him or me.

"Naruto—" I tried again, instantly shutting my mouth, again. He glared at me.

Naruto sniffed. "Why are you still here?" Why was I still here? "You don't even like me—why do you care?" The night's air was cold, and as I slid over closer to him, resting my hand on his knee with my shoulder pressed to his, I tried not to find comfort in his body heat. I didn't want to find amenity in his proximity. To find myself content in his misery.

My thumb traced over his knuckles, almost instantly finding scars—a shinobi's hands. My voice was barely whispered. "I won't apologize, because I know that's not what I want you to hear. I can't amend for the loss of your mentor." He frowned. "But—" God, why was I so bad with this? "I'm here, okay? I know I can't make it better, but I want to help relieve you in any way I can."

"Jiraiya's dead." He swallowed, too loudly and dishearteningly. I didn't notice he had turned his palm to face mine until he was squeezing, so painfully and harshly that I thought I would have to draw away. But, it was a good pain. "The Akatsuki killed him." Naruto's head dropped forward, again, and I didn't try to bring his attention back to me. I wasn't trying to make him forget about this, I didn't want to distract him from the pain he was feeling, now. Naruto had to deal with this. He had to let the pain take him, now, to grieve. And then he would have to deal with it. Because, that's what being a shinobi was. Dealing with death, even when it was someone closest to you. And, then, not giving it the power to consume you.

We didn't have the luxury to stop functioning simply because someone we knew was dead. Sometimes, we didn't even have the time to acknowledge it. As ninja of the Leaf Village, we were expected to deal with this—whether we were ready or not. We were tools for the village to use as they saw fit, and nothing more.

It's not about who we were, but what we are.

I wasn't going to tell Naruto things were going to be okay, because I didn't know if they would be. The Akatsuki were becoming even more than just an impending threat, enclosing around the shinobi world fast. And, if something wasn't done about them, soon, then it wouldn't be long until our world fell into a complete chaos.

"He didn't go down without a fight," I reminded him, thinking back to the body that was now in Konoha's custody, thanks to Jiraiya. Even in his death, the man was still able to bring back at least some form of win for the village. Naruto shook his head, letting his head fall onto my shoulder. I knew I had said the wrong thing, and that's not what he wanted to hear.

But I couldn't tell Naruto what he wanted to hear. Not without lying to him.

*

I didn't see Naruto for two more days. With the weight of a light mission’s fatigue resting heavily against me, I trudged on to Tsunade’s office, hoping I wouldn’t run into anyone on the way there.

However, it seemed, I would have no such luck. Leaning on the wall, just adjacent of the door was a familiar pink-haired boy, the usual look of utter boredom plastered to his face. He had a notebook in his hand, and a pencil in the other. He looked up at me with his strange eyes as I approached.

“You look terrible,” he said.

“Thanks.” The boy raised an eyebrow.

“It wasn’t a compliment.”

“I didn’t take it for one.” He stared at me for a moment longer, pushing himself off of the wall with his foot, tucking the pencil inside of his notebook and then tucking it behind his back.

“Lady Tsunade’s in there right now with Naruto. There’s been a lot of screaming.” I sighed. Of course there had been. Wherever Naruto was involved, there would be screaming.

“Have you been out here long?” Leif shrugged, leaning against the wall with just his shoulder, now, facing towards me. It hadn’t of before, but now the boy was wearing his forehead protector, the emblem for the Leaf Village proudly etched into it.

Leif turned his attention to the door, not seeming keen on answering me, it seemed. And, just as I was about to ask him again, the door opened, revealing a very flushed Naruto.

“Oh—“ His blue eyes widened a fraction, darting behind him then back at me. “Hi, Champion.”

“Hi,” I smiled. Just two nights ago, he had been a crying mess, and I assumed that was the reason for his awkward behavior, now. We had a strange relationship, Naruto and I. Fluctuating in and out of each other’s life, irregularly showing up and disappearing. I hadn’t of meant to stumble upon Naruto on the night that the news reached him about his dead mentor, and after I had, I couldn’t just leave him, either. But just as I had come, I had left, when he no longer needed me. Or, so I assumed.

He gave me a small smile. “Hi.” Leif pushed away from the wall, then, standing beside me.

“Tsunade called for us. So, now that you’re done, could you move?”

“Don’t be rude!” I hissed. The pink haired boy looked down at me, and then back to Naruto. I had half expected Naruto to say something to him, to this odd boy with his peculiar behavior. But, he said nothing. Instead, he stepped aside, as Leif had requested. And, after a moment more, walked away. I looked back at Leif. “What do you mean ‘us’?”

*

It was like the first mission with Naruto all over again. I was aggravated, throwing things in my bag with a scowl, taking my anger out on my supplies. Only, Surge wasn’t here anymore to quell the flames that burned across my skin in an angry heat, threatening to escape me if I didn’t calm down. Sabel watched from the corner of my bed, instead.  

“Are you okay?” I looked up at my little brother, with a resemblance stronger to Calix than me. His dark hair shone in the minimum light that my room offered, promising a smooth, soft texture. And, like Calix, he wore an expression that pinched his eyebrows together, a bit worried. Sabel would never admit it, and even though he was more like me, he was also a lot like Calix.

“I’m fine,” I huffed, zipping up the bag and throwing it on the floor. There were probably more weapons in it than I needed, and I would probably have to pack a lot lighter tomorrow morning, but the extra weaponry made me feel at least a bit better. Packing was, somewhat, a tool used to calm me down. If only a little. “Tsunade just likes to play games, that’s all.”

“She does?” I smiled at Sabel, leaning over to kiss his forehead.

“No, not really. But she’s really starting to get on my nerves. If anyone asks, I went to the training grounds, okay?”

“Can I come?” I shook my head, running my hand through his hair. And, as promised, it was as soft as it looked.

“Maybe another time.”

Tsunade had, once again, decided to make me participate in a rather displeasing mission with an even less tolerable associate. An assassination mission with none other than Leif Ito, himself. And, for insurance, the infamous sensei of team fourteen: Nozomu Izumi. Not that I minded Nozomu coming, I didn’t mind at all, actually. With him coming along, Leif and I would probably have to do a lot less than what we were being paid for. But, it was the simple fact of the pink-haired boy that put me in a bad mood. That, and I wasn’t even getting a break from my previous two missions.

It was one after another.

“Champion?” I looked up at the sound of my name, doing and then failing to hold back a groan. Naruto had, in time, definitely become less of a nuisance than he originally had been. But, I still didn’t like him as much as I could. There was still a definite underlying distaste for this boy, no matter the state I had seen him in just two days prior.

“Hey, Naruto,” I sighed. I settled myself between two roots of a nearby tree, and he followed behind me. We sat in silence for a while, and in meaning, I had almost forgotten he was there.

“Champion?”

“Hmm?” I hummed, finding myself almost relaxed in his presence. He was quiet, for once.

“Thank you.” I turned to him, resting my head against the tree, ignoring the slight discomfort of the bark rubbing against my temple.  “For uh, y’know, the other night.”

I raised an eyebrow. “You’re welcome, Naruto.” There was a moment of uneasiness in his eyes, but before I could ask him about it, there was an uncertain pressure against my lips, a warm, insistent pressure that was both unwelcoming and very, very inviting.

“Naruto—!”

“That was my gratitude,” was all he said, getting up to leave.

I couldn’t find it in myself to chase after him.  

!~*~*~*!

Sorry it takes me so long to update ugh. Three more weeks until I'm out for summer, however! (Which means, I'll probably be heavily swamped for EOCs and finals. But whatever) In apology, I tried to make this one a bit longer, and I'm praying it will be.