Chapter 6 – Analise

    Sleep was one of the seven wonders of the world, it seemed. You either got too much of it, making yourself even more drowsy, or you didn't get enough and weren't yourself. It seemed like there was no in between when it came to sleeping. These days it felt like I got none.

I tossed and turned in bed, the sound of gunshots ringing through the night outside my house. Even though it was something I'd grown accustomed to, and I knew they weren't aimed for me, it still made me cringe every time. There was always the chance of a stray bullet piercing through my window, or even someone driving by deciding to be an idiot and shoot into random houses.

I hated living in the worst part of town because it left little to the imagination as far as what went on in this stupid city. And I wasn't scared – I had far surpassed any ability to be scared of almost anything – but it still wasn't something I wanted to deal with. I wasn't necessarily scared to die, but I wasn't ready yet either. There were things I still hadn't done.

There was a pause, and I had a small sliver of hope that they were done shooting each other for the night so I could get some sleep. After a couple minutes of nothing, I started to drift off before hearing yet another round of too-close-for-comfort gunshots.

"For fucks sake," I mumbled almost inaudibly, slipping off of my small twin bed and keeping low as I walked out of my room. Once I was in the hallway, I headed towards the kitchen, in search of something I didn't even know yet. I opened the refrigerator, peering in. My eyes scanned the almost barren shelves before sighing and shutting it again. I looked around a couple seconds, before reopening the door again.

"It's not gonna change, Lise," my big brother, Andrew's voice wafted into the kitchen as he walked in from the living room. He kicked his boots off, dropping his black duffel bag and heading towards the island.

"What?" I asked, raising a brow at him.

"Just because you look in it two seconds later doesn't mean food's going to magically appear in it. I'm working on it, I'll get groceries soon. I promise."

He placed a kiss on top of my head as I sighed, resting it on his shoulder. "Who's shooting this time?"

Drew sighed, shrugging out of his jacket and placing it on one of the chairs. "No idea this time. I just got home, didn't see anyone so I'm assuming it's in someone's house or in the alley."

"Not that they'd shoot you anyway," I mumbled to myself thoughtfully.

"Depends who's got the gun," he chuckled, running a hand through his tousled brown hair. My brother was attractive, mirroring me in looks – brown hair and brown eyes. He had muscles that protruded from the sleeves of his t-shirts and he always had grease stains from one of his jobs as a mechanic. Sleeves of tattoos covered his arms, and he had more that I knew about covered by his shirt. When I was younger, girls always tried to use me, pretending to be my friend to get to my brother. That was before I became smart about not letting people in.

"Your guys wouldn't shoot you," I mused, turning on the tap and getting myself a glass of water. One sip had me scrunching my face in disgust and pouring it back out.

"Never know," Drew said before sighing at my lack of drink. He reached into his pocket, rustling around in it before pulling out a few crumpled bills and some loose change and putting it out for me to take. "Here Lise. It's all I've got til tomorrow when I get paid. I was going to get gas with it, but I can walk tomorrow, shop's not that far."

I shook my head. "Use it for gas, Drew. I'm fine, I'll eat and drink at school tomorrow."

"When was the last time you've had something to eat or drink?" Drew asked, putting the money on the table. I heard the clank sound as the change hit the table, some rolling every which way until they stopped and plopped down in their respective places.

I shrugged, mumbling, "Lunch time."

"Okay. Go get something to eat and drink."

As if on cue, another rapid round of gunfire went off, halting me. I stuck my thumb out behind me. "I'm not going out in that."

"Like they'd hurt you," Drew rolled his eyes, pushing the money towards me.

"Depends who's got the gun," I mocked jokingly, pushing the money back toward him. "Seriously, I'm fine. There's free breakfast at school and-"

Drew's eyes turned dark and serious, alerting me that he was done joking. He pushed the money towards me once more. "Go, Lise. Get you some food and a drink. It's not a question. I'm your guardian, and more than that I'm your brother, and I'm not going to let you go hungry because you want to be stubborn. You before me, always."

I smiled, a happy feeling coursing through me at the words. I loved my big brother more than anyone or anything in this world because he was the only one who'd been there for me through everything, and more than anyone else ever had. He was my rock. "Thanks Drew."

He nodded, a small smile appearing as I scooped up the money and pocketed it. "Hurry back. If they move outside with the guns, and it's not my guys, don't look in their direction. Remember, head down, feet firm and fast. First instinct: Run. First and foremost, always. Don't be a hero."

I nodded, the words I'd grown accustomed to hearing ringing in my mind once again. Drew always told me that every time gunfire was going on. He thought I was scared of it, but I wasn't and I couldn't stress that enough to him. I slipped my sneakers on, cursing at the sole that ripped as I headed towards the door. Like they weren't battered enough.

"Bye Drew, I love you!" I called out to him, grabbing my keys off the key by the door.

"Love you Lise!" He called, peeking out from the kitchen. "Be safe, hurry back!"

I nodded towards him, throwing him a smile and walking out the door. I turned, locking it behind me and taking off towards the grocery store. It was only about a mile from here, but I had to walk through the worst part of the neighborhood to get there. Another round of gunshots sounded, making me duck while I walked, out of habit.

I took note of the trash littering the street and noted that there was more than earlier. Must have been a party gone wrong, I mused to myself. It happened quite often around these parts. Almost all of our neighbors were gang members or former gang members, or closely related to the gang. Well, to one of the gangs around here. There were several.

My brothers guys had red bandanas, but they weren't part of the blood – it was a common misconception that a lot of people had. The Southsiders, which was my brothers gang, wore red. The Northsiders, their biggest rival, wore white. The Westsiders wore blue, and the Eastsiders wore green. We didn't have too many problems with them, though.

I wasn't necessarily in the gang, but I was well respected by almost all of the members. My brother was close to the head, making it way disrespectful if they didn't listen to me. I would be in it, but my brother wanted better for me, so he didn't let me. I knew how to defend myself, though. I wasn't ever one of those damsels in distress, and Drew made sure of that.

The Northsiders knew about me, and often tried to use me as a pawn in their game of chess between them and my brothers gang. Kind of like they'd used my parents in the past. Drew knew better than to blindly believe them though. They would send him texts or messages or call him telling him they kidnapped me and where he could come get me, but they never had. They were mostly all talk and no action, the current leader being a pussy named Roger who mostly talked all shit but never backed it up.

My thoughts were interrupted as a brawl broke out in front of me, a glint of a gun hanging out of one of their pockets. I immediately ducked, looking towards their pockets to see their colors. I visibly relaxed when I saw red, continuing on my way to the store. I recognized the guys as two guys at the bottom of chain of command in the gang, but they were nice enough. They probably wouldn't kill each other, it was frowned upon to kill another member of the gang and you'd be in some shit if you did it.

They greeted me as I passed and I responded respectively, ducking when I heard another round of gunfire. Quincy, the one with the gun, put his hand on it in defense and I got behind him. Once it stopped, I looked at him. "Who's shooting?"

He shrugged. "Haven't heard any of our guys say they'd be bringing a gun anywhere tonight, so I don't think it's our guys."

"But we're in Southside," I mumbled, mostly to myself.

Tuck, the other guy, scoffed to himself. "Like that would stop any of the other gangs from coming around and stirring some shit up. Don't forget, you're close to Northside territory. Just over the bridge."

I gulped, my eyes going towards the bridge in question. "What happened to that being our territory?"

Quincy shrugged. "New guy in command at Northside. Name's Buck. Real asshole from what we've heard."

"Lovely," I muttered. "If I'd known that, I wouldn't have come over here. I would have went into the grocery store in the heart of southside."

Tuck clapped my shoulder. "You'll be fine, Ana. It's just over the bridge, and they're obviously busy right now. Besides, it could be just some assholes doing target practice."

"Doubtful," I responded before getting up and brushing my knees off. "Alright, I gotta hurry. Drew's waiting for me at home, he just got home from work."

Quincy raised an eyebrow. "But we're off work tonight."

I laughed quietly, putting my hands in my pockets. "From his real job, Quince. You know, the one that's not illegal and dangerous."

"Right," he muttered, nodding with a sheepish smile. "I knew that."

"Sure you did," I said, following with a laugh and turning around towards the bridge. "Bye guys."

"See ya!"

"Later!"

I quickened my steps, hyperaware now that I knew this wasn't my brothers gangs territory anymore. I wasn't scared of the Northsiders – I wasn't scared of anything – but it still wasn't very comforting, either. I didn't want to kick ass tonight, I wanted to get something to eat for Drew and I and go home and watch reruns of The Office.

When I got to the grocery store, I sighed in relief. If they were to try anything, they wouldn't do it in public. Well at least the way Roger did things, they wouldn't. But now that they were under new command, I had no clue. I hadn't even been told they were taken over.

The bell on the top of the door clanged annoyingly as I entered, letting the store owner know I entered. I waved to the two cashiers they had and made my way back towards the frozen section. I pulled the money out of my pocket, diligently counting it. 12.46.

I nodded to myself, scanning the shelves. The glass doors that held the deliciousness that was food were foggy and I opened it to wipe some it away to make it clearer. I scanned carefully, wanting to make a good choice. I decided on a bag of pizza rolls, a box of frozen pretzels, and a tub of Ben and Jerry's. Then I waltzed to the drinks, grabbing a 2 liter of mountain dew – Drew's favorite.

I walked towards the cash register, goodies in hand and made sure I watched where I was going. That didn't stop someone from ramming into the side of me, making me drop everything and causing the 2 liter to roll under a shelf. I sighed, frustrated, and turned around to see who it was. I couldn't believe who I was seeing.

Ashlynn Collins.

"Oops, I didn't see you," the bitch sneered, running a hand through her pin straight blond hair that I wanted to rip out, strand by strand.

"Of course you didn't. How would you over that giant nose of yours? When's daddy getting you a new one?"

She sent daggers my way. I decided to provoke her more. "Oh, or can't he? Too busy doing anything else?"

"You're one to talk, orphan," Ashlynn spat back.

I gasped. Audibly fucking gasped, my eyes darkening tremendously. She'd come up with some shit in her past history with me, but never had she ever had the nerve to call me an orphan. That was a line I thought even she wouldn't cross. I took a threatening step forward that had her taking a step back.

I smirked, shaking my head at her. "Still scared of me Collins?"

"Never been scared of you, Loughty."

"Missed you at school this week," my sentence dripped with sarcasm. "Such a shame having to enjoy myself for once."

"I'll be back tomorrow," Ashlynn said sending a sickly sweet smile my way.

"Oh joy," I mumbled, returning the smile that was faker than the girls that wanted to be my friend to get to Drew. "Can't wait."

She turned on her heel, calling me a bitch over her shoulder and I shrugged. She was scared of me since the last time I'd kicked her ass, it was obvious. Usually she had her girls to back her up so it wasn't just her, but I had experience with gang members – I could take three snotty brats on anytime.

I collected my stuff, opting to grab a new 2 liter. I walked everything to the register – this time uninterrupted, mentioning the almost forgotten soda under the shelf. I paid for the stuff, thanking them and heading towards home once more.

I got home unscathed – save for the rounds of gunshots still going on, ringing in my ears. I walked in the house, slipping my sneakers off and locking the door. I put my keys back on their rightful hook before trudging into the kitchen and putting my bags down on the counter. Drew was nowhere to be found and I got to work microwaving our food like a pro, while sitting the Mountain Dew in the freezer to get cold quicker.

Drew came into the kitchen minutes later, in a heated conversation with someone. It was muffled and quiet and I knew he didn't want me to hear it.

"Find out! I don't want this affecting our business."

He listened to the person on the other line before slamming his fist on the island and sighing. "Sorry Lise. Glad you're back safe."

I pulled our pizza rolls out of the microwave, replacing them with pretzels and hitting the button. "What was that about?"

"Nothing," Drew muttered, mostly to himself. "Gang stuff."

I nodded, taking the soda out of the freezer and opening it, pouring us each a glass. "Yeah, I saw Tuck and Quincy on my way to the store. They said the bridge begins Northside territory now."

He rolled his dark eyes, taking his glass with a thanks. "Those idiots weren't supposed to tell you. I didn't want you to worry or be scared. They won't get us, Lise."

Frustrated, I slammed my cup down, soda splashing out of the sides. "How many times do I have to tell you, I'm not scared of them? I'd be in the gang if you'd let me!"

"But I won't, because I want better for you!"

We were to the point of shouting now, which I hated, but I couldn't help it. "But you're in it!"

Drew was at the top of his range as he yelled right in my face, "I had no choice Lise! Dad gave me no choice! You have one, so use it fucking wisely!"

I nodded, the microwave beeping to signal our pretzels being done. Ignoring it, I popped a pizza roll in my mouth, sliding the plate towards Drew. "I'm sorry."

"Me too," he said, back to his regular voice. "I just want better for you, and I wish you'd see it. I wish you'd care about your education, and your life. Then maybe we could get out of this shit hole."

"It's not a shit-"

I was cut off by another round of gunshots and a loud crash obviously next door, the sound reverberating into our house, making the walls shake. A dish fell from the shelf and onto the floor. I stared at it's pieces as Drew said, "I rest my case. I'll get the broom."

I went to bed that night thinking of what Drew had said. Maybe I did have another choice, but I wasn't sure if I wanted it.