Chapter 12 – Analise

    It was a couple days after I showed Will the cliff, and things had continued on normally, except we were friends now. We had been running lines off and on and I'm pretty sure if someone held a gun to our heads we could recite them in our sleep, backwards, with our eyes closed. We still hadn't practiced the kissing scene though and I don't think we planned to.

It would just be awkward.

The play was coming up though, and I knew we'd have to do it when it came. I had been so focused on doing things for the gang so I could help out financially that I didn't even think about the fact that the play was in a week.

I was hanging out with Raelynn and Colin and Tommy was nowhere to be seen. I'd asked of his whereabouts, but Colin said he seemed upset about something in the class they shared before lunch and was skipping. He never skipped lunch because it was his favorite subject, but I let the topic drop. I hadn't done anything, so it couldn't be me he was upset with.

Raelynn was chewing on her lip, deep in thought about something while Colin and I talked. Eventually it got on my fucking nerves and I had to ask her, "What the hell is bothering you?"

"Nothing," Raelynn answered shortly, narrowing her eyes briefly before glancing around us again. She took a hit of her cigarette, her lips trembling around the damn thing, disproving her answer to me.

I turned to Colin with a questioning look, and he shrugged his shoulders. I didn't know what was wrong with Raelynn and Tommy today, but I was going to find out if it killed me. "What the hell, Rae?"

It was getting more difficult for her to keep her facade up, I could tell. She started bouncing her leg nervously, taking quick hits of the cigarette which only caused her to start violently coughing. "Alright, christ, I'll tell you!"

"Well since I pulled your leg," I mumbled sarcastically under my breath, but I knew she'd hear me because she flicked my forehead.

"Couple things," she started, staring me straight in the eyes. Her baby blue's held conviction and I mentally prepared myself for whatever the hell she was going to accuse me of. "But not here."

She grabbed me and Colin's hands, dragging us from where we were sitting and towards the back of the school. Raelynn was either secretly very strong for her size, or we weren't putting up much of a fight. We were dragged around to the shed where football equipment was held, and Colin and I stared at it quizzically. None of us were in any sports, so why had she-

Suddenly she opened the doors and pushed us in by our backs, and we fell in with a resounding oomph.

"What the hell, Rae?" Colin exclaimed, rubbing his ass. He'd fallen on his ass whereas I'd fallen on my knees that were now stinging like a bitch.

"What's your problem?"

"You are, Ana."

I turned on my heel, shooting daggers her way. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me."

"What's the problem?" Colin interjected, stepping between the two of us. And I'm sure if he hadn't, we would have been going blow for blow. But Colin harbored secret feelings for Rae, and I'm sure he didn't want to see her get her ass kicked. Believe me, she'd get her ass kicked; I never lost.

"Why don't you ask our friend Analise what she's been getting up to after school?" Raelynn sardonically spat, her blue eyes full of betrayal. It confused the ever loving shit out of me because to my knowledge I hadn't done a single thing wrong to any of them.

Colin looked at Rae, then back at me. "Ana?"

I looked into his green eyes, full of question, and I'm sure mine held the same emotion. I shrugged, "Fuck if I know. I've been rehearsing with Will after school."

"Rehearsing," Raelynn spat, getting closer to me. She was in my face and she was about to get decked in the throat. "He's one of our fucking problems with you, but I'll get to that in a minute. Why the fuck did you join a god damn gang?"

My eyes darkened and my whole demeanor changed. My hands curled into fists by my side, my lip snarling as I replied, "Who the hell told you about that?"

"Tommy," Raelynn answered easily, matching my stance. "Why, Analise? You wanna die?"

"No!" I shouted, frustrated, running a hand through my hair. I'd have pulled it out if I could. "It's none of your business and Tommy's a fucking idiot for running to you with that shit!"

"It is our business, Ana! You're our friend!"

"It isn't your business. You're not me, you don't know everything about me, and what I choose to do in life is my choice!"

Ignoring that, Raelynn continued relentlessly. "And then the rumors flying between you and hick boy-"

"He has a name."

"Okay, Will, the hick boy," She poorly attempted to correct herself and it just pissed me off more. "You're supposed to just be rehearsing a play together, but this shit about you being friends and sleeping with him and all this other shit is going around!"

"Guys!" Colin tries to break in, putting a hand on each of our shoulders. It was too late by the time he did though and I had already began making my way out of the shed, tripping over discarded uniforms and shoulder pads. "Ana!"

"Don't walk away from me! We're supposed to be friends!" Raelynn shouted, chasing after me. In the distance I saw Toby, Tommy's cousin, and Will pause their discussion to turn towards us in confusion, along with one hundred percent of the rest of the student body.

I turned towards her. "Supposed to be, but you're not acting like much of a fucking friend right now, Raelynn!"

"How am I supposed to act? It took me crying in a god damn bathroom to be your friend, but he just comes here and all of a sudden you-"

"I what?" I cut off, laughing a sadistic laugh. I was fed up. "I'm acting like I have a heart? Like I care more about finishing my education than smoking cigarettes, downing cheap beer, and feeling sorry for myself because I didn't get the guy I wanted?"

It was a low blow, but she deserved it.

She stopped right there, her anger only worsening before she landed a slap right across my face. "Go fuck yourself."

I lunged at her, knocking her on the ground. We rolled around a bit, neither one getting hits in because of the defense we were putting up. Finally I got through hers, landing a punch right on her lip. She got me back, knocking me in the head, before I got her in her eye. I went for another but we were both being pulled back by two people. Raelynn was being pulled back by Justin and Colin, and I was being pulled back by Toby and Will.

"Go ahead Colin, choose her over me since you have some weird obsession with her even though she's a bitch," I spat, not caring who I offended at this point. I knew it wasn't his fault, I was taking my anger out on everyone – anyone – else, but it was like I couldn't stop it. "You can all go fuck yourselves."

I shrugged away from Toby and Will, stalking off towards the main road. I was done with school for the day and done with being made to feel like I was doing something wrong. Yeah, joining a gang wasn't an aspiration or anything, but I was trying to help my brother and no one understood that but me. It wasn't anyone's business but mine. And what she had said about Will was the tip of the iceberg because even though he irritated me more than he didn't, we were friends now, and I stuck up for my friends.

"Ms. Loughty, get back here this instant!" Our balding principal bumbled, his strides not anywhere close to fast enough to catch up with mine. We had attracted an audience and at this point they were parting like the red sea for me to leave. "Detention for a week!"

"Bite me, Vitali!" I called over my shoulder, not even sparing him a glance. Who the hell was he to get in the middle of it? He didn't even know the whole story, yet here he was blaming me just like everyone always did. Especially when it came to Raelynn and I, because Raelynn was once a little fucking angel and I was always the problem child no one liked.

I ran into Tommy on my way out, and his eyes roamed my face as he stopped me in my tracks. He glanced behind me, his eyes widening as he saw the chaos that had ensued prior, and he cupped my face in his hands. "Ana? You okay?"

I shrugged out of his grip, sidestepping him and holding back furious tears. I hated being an angry crier. "I can't fucking believe you told Raelynn about the gang."

"I was just-"

"I don't care what you were trying to do," I cut him off with my hand, shaking my head. "That wasn't your business to tell. Period."

I ignored his calls to me as I continued walking home, not even bothering to spare a glance to Will. I'd explain to him later if he wanted, and if he didn't then he was a waste of my time too. I wasn't anyone's charity case, and I'd basically grown up without parents – I could take care of my fucking self, by myself, like I always had; with Drew's help of course.

As long as I had my brother, I'd be set. If I lost him, I'd be a lost cause. Drew was my rock, and I couldn't wait to get home and melt in his arms about the shit show of a day I'd had.

*

"What the hell do you mean!?" I yelled in Drew's face not even an hour later, my eyes wide and my breathing labored.

Drew's excited smile faltered momentarily, but it was back just as soon as it left. "I'm getting jumped out!"

"You're getting jumped out," I began, trying not to panic. "Of your own gang. Why?"

He shrugged, scrubbing one of the plates in the sink before putting it in the drying rack. "I told you, I was in there for the money. But ever since you got this job you won't tell me about, I haven't even had to work full time at the shop, much less do shit for those bastards. So I'm getting jumped out."

"They'll kill you, Drew," I voiced my thoughts, my hands shaky. "They're not going to let you get jumped out so easy. Ever since Dad-"

"Don't bring Dad into this, Lise," Drew begged, his eyes pleading. "I'm doing this for us. Once you graduate, we will have enough money saved up to move to wherever you go to college, as long as you keep doing this job!"

"I can't stand to see you when you get jumped out," I told Drew, my head in my hands. I shook it slightly. "They'll fucking kill you Drew. They're gang members, they have no mercy."

Drew couldn't get jumped out of the gang. He'd been in since our parents died, almost 8 years ago. He'd slowly climbed himself to the top and there was no way they would let him get out so easy. He was no newcomer, and they needed him. And they knew it.

And besides that, they would tell him I was in in attempts to thwart his departure, I just knew it. And if not snitching, they would surely have no more respect for me. I wanted him to do what he wanted to do, but I was worried what would happen. Not scared, but worried, for the unknown and what was to come. But I couldn't outright tell him why. And I couldn't just get jumped out myself, because now that I was in, it would take a hell of a lot to get jumped out. I planned to before I graduated and disappearing with Drew, but if he was getting jumped out already because of the money I was making, I couldn't just stop making it. I owed him my life.

"Then why'd you join?"

My eyes snapped to Drew's, but his face hadn't changed from the boyish grin he held two seconds ago. "Huh?"

He gave me a weird look, raising an eyebrow. "I didn't say anything, Lise. You okay?"

I shook my head, the rounds of gunshots piercing through the air as they did every night only adding to the confusion in my head. I hastily made my way upstairs without so much as an explanation to Drew, completely swarmed by my thoughts. I could have sworn I'd heard Drew ask me why I joined the gang, and I almost felt the color drain from my face when he did. I wondered how he found out and was fully prepared to tie Raelynn or Tommy or Colin to the back of Drew's car and drive them down I-94.

But he didn't...

So why had I heard that? What the fuck was going on with me?