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ADVENTURES IN BABYSITTING
xviii. PHYSICS ISN'T REAL

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   DINNER WAS UNBEARABLY AWKWARD.

   The table was set for four, each seat filled, silverware shined to perfection. Every plate was stacked with delicious food for each member of the Stark family to consume. What was usually a table filled with all sorts of lively conversations had been replaced with the repetitive scraping of cutlery on ceramics and the buzz of silence.

   Breathing was arduous. Tension replaced their oxygen as no one dared to utter a word. Pepper Potts glanced between her fiancé and her oldest daughter. Pepper hadn't heard every detail regarding the reunion among Tony and his longtime colleagues, but she had assumed everyone had reached the same general consensus she'd await learning about when evening struck. However, what she hadn't been anticipated was a full-blown argument between Tony and Riley outside on the porch once their surprise guests had left.

   "A time heist," Tony had mumbled with a judgemental scoff. He observed as Steve drove off with Natasha and Scott in his black Audi. "It's ridiculous..." He shook his head, peering back at Riley with his arms folded over his chest. "Well, it was nice of you to try and give them some unrealistic optimism. God knows they need it every now and then. Good thinking to even bring them back here, but a warning would've been nice."

   Riley had faltered. "A...Actually... I was kinda hoping you'd be willing to help us out..." Tony glanced back at her in surprise. This caused her to continue as she nervously fidgeted with her hands, "Well, it's just... you know, I told everyone... and I mean everyone I'd do whatever it takes to make things right—"

   "Who gives a damn about what they all think?"

   "I do," she had confessed. "I'm not like you. Being Valor isn't a side hobby. I've lived my entire life trying to surpass expectations for myself. If there's a chance that I can do what I was trained to do my entire life, I'm going to do it because it's my job! It's all I've ever known!"

   "Oh, so you want to go back in time and stop all this from happening?" challenged Tony, waving his hands around in reference to their surroundings. "Even if it means, oh I don't know, erasing your sister from existence?"

   Riley remembered how she fell silent. "I... I didn't even think about it like that..."

   "Exactly," Tony spat. "You don't think about anything anymore. Not like you used to. That's reckless. You can't be reckless and have a family, Riley. It's dangerous."

   Riley's blood was boiling. She knew Tony had been through a lot and worked hard on himself in terms of recovery, but this was ridiculous. Did he just not care about all the people who had died? This wasn't like him at all. She sneered, "So is sending them off trying to figure out this time travel crap without any pointers! Instead, you just belittled them into backing off, but I know them better. And so do you!"

   "Don't you get it?" Tony had shouted. "It's not happening! It's impossible!" He released an irritated sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You know what? This conversation is over. Forget it."

   She started again, "But—"

   "I'm serious," he interrupted. "I don't wanna hear it."

  "Fine!" Riley jeered. "If... If you're not gonna help, then I'm just gonna have to figure it out myself. Something, anything! I can't just sit around knowing there's a possibility to fix what I've done. I can't!"

   Riley didn't back down, even after she heard him exasperatedly sigh. He slowly peered back at her. He knew that look in her eyes. She had made her mind up. So, Tony sharply replied, "Fine. Good luck with that one, Riley."

   Pepper pondered what could have gone down between the two. They hardly ever argued. It was a rare occurrence. She hadn't heard a thing after keeping Morgan busy while their guests left, but judging the tension clouding the table, it couldn't have gone well.

   Silverware clattering against a plate ripped her from her thoughts. "I'm, uh, I'm finished," Tony announced. Pepper studied the spaced gaze on his face. It looked like he was shutting down—something he hadn't done since the Infinity War ended.

   "Oh... Okay," Pepper leisurely replied. "Uh—"

   "Huh, funny," Riley intervened with a bit of an edge to her voice. "Me, too. I'll start the dishes."

   "I've got it," contended Tony. He was on his feet now, too, as they faced off. "You're good. You're, uh, relieved to do whatever you want."

   Pepper glanced back and forth between them. She could practically see the animated sparks flying between them as Riley forced a smile and said, "Great."

   She went to pick up her plate, but Tony stopped her. "It's fine. Leave it. I've got it."

   With a clenched jaw, Riley nodded before walking away. As Tony exited, too, Morgan looked up at her mom, confused. "What's wrong with Daddy and Tink?"

   "They're just playing a game," assured Pepper.

   "A game?" repeated Morgan, this time sounding more intrigued.

   "Mhm," Pepper confirmed. "But it's only between Dad and Riley. Usually, kids play it, but they decided they wanna act like kids today. Maybe when you're older, you'll get to play, too." Morgan nodded, still not really understanding the game. "C'mon, let's get you in the bath."

   Meanwhile, Riley retired to the garage, the place that acted as Tony's space to fulfill all of his inventive urges, which happened more often than not. All kinds of fascinating gadgets were cluttered in there, ones that did things she couldn't even begin to imagine without seeing it firsthand. Intermingled with her wonder and astonishment toward Tony's lab, she found herself growing angrier the more she looked upon them.

   Tony could create all kinds of devices. He was a genius, for fuck's sake, yet he didn't want to try to invent time travel? Not to save the universe? Not even for fun? Not even for bragging rights (which honestly sounded like something he'd do on a normal day)? As she pondered upon her blind rage, another feeling crept up on her. It was, to no one's surprise, guilt.

   Riley felt like an idiot. She knew exactly why Tony didn't want to entertain the theory of time travel. She knew damn well that anyone who had witnessed the series of unfortunate events that composed Tony's life would never want to even begin to think about it. She knew that Tony was scared of what could happen if they pulled it off. It was unfair of Riley to get so irrationally angry. She just wanted things to go back to normal. Was that such a crime?

   But this was next to impossible. she knew she should just be happy with what she had now. It made the most sense. It was the most logical option. But it didn't sit right with her knowing there was a way to make things right again. Even if it was just a theory, it was a chance, an opportunity.

   Riley didn't have five years to come to terms with what happened. She didn't have five years to mourn and learn how to cope. Her brain was working in overdrive every single day, running over every thought regarding the universe's loss and all the guilt that hadn't subsided. Sure, she was happier, healthier, and slowly catching up, but the world wasn't the place she wanted to live in like it once was. It would never be the same. Today's world would act as a constant reminder of the past. If she wanted to try to fix things, she would have to act with every opportunity handed to her, even if it meant losing everything.

   Tony was right, in the end. She hadn't thought her actions through in a long time. If she had thought before acting, she would have never ended up on that spaceship in the first place, halting all of the events that came afterward. She had been too reckless for comfort.

   But this time was different. This time, she did think about it. She thought long and hard about wanting this aching guilt to fade. She owed it not just to everyone to make things okay again, but she owed it to herself. That was it, wasn't it? She didn't want to just keep her word to the world that she would do whatever it takes. She wanted to prove to herself that what happened in the past was justifiable because she could fix it. She could still fix everything. She just needed a chance.

   For the next hour, Riley surrounded herself with books and notes that had been accumulated over the years.

   Riley was smart — incredibly smart, as a matter of fact. Still, after all the schooling she'd been through, including repeating high school just for a mission, physics was just not Riley's strong suit.

   By now, Riley knew she wasn't mad at Tony anymore, nor was she even remotely disappointed in him. She regretted bringing up old memories like that. If anything, Riley just wanted to apologize.

   Leaning back in her chair, she yawned, fatigued from studying. "Hey, JO?" Riley called. "How are you supposed to know when to give up?"

   "You sound upset. Would you like some cereal?"

   Riley paused, a smile forming on her face. The memory of Peter confronting Riley played in her head. She didn't care about the negativity the flashback held. She just thought about him. She missed him.

   Riley shook her head. "No, I just... I've been at this for hours and I've made no progress. I know I should just quit, but I don't want to."

   "Well, what about a break?" JOCASTA suggested.

   "That'd be the smart idea, huh..." grumbled Riley, reaching out to pick up the next journal. But then she paused again, thinking it over. She had been going at this for a while now... "You know what? What do I have to lose?"

   Rising to her feet and stretching out her limbs, she sighed in relief. Her bones cracked in the process, allowing her to relax after sitting still for so long. She turned off the lights behind her and headed for the kitchen.

   Riley tensed once her gaze landed on her father standing in the kitchen with a dazed look in his eye. He seemed to be staring at a framed photograph, but Riley couldn't exactly see what the image was of. Just as she was about to turn on her heel and leave, Tony called out, "Hey."

   She swore under her breath, awkwardly turning back around. "Huh? Oh, hey there, old man," Riley slowly greeted, trying to play off the fact that she wasn't about to walk out of the kitchen.

   Cautiously eyeing her, he interrogated, "Were you just about to leave?" She shook her head. "Then, what were you doing just now?"

   She scoffed. "Well..." Riley trailed off, her lips pressed into a flat line. "I just... I thought... I... heard a ghost!" From the reaction alone, Tony could see Peter's influence over the girl.

   "Really?" Tony retorted. "Is that what you're going with?"

   Riley flung her hands into the air. "Oh, I don't know! Are we fighting? Is that what's happening? Because we don't fight."

   "I don't know," he softly admitted. "You're just so stubborn."

   "So are you!" Riley childishly cried. There was a pause of silence between the two before a hardly audible chuckle escaped Tony. It was one of those fast, silent exhales of air through his nose that didn't technically count as a laugh, but it might as well.

   He leaned against the counter in the dimly lit kitchen. "I've been doing some thinking," Tony finally announced.

   The air between them was saturated with tension once more. Riley didn't want to argue with Tony anymore. She had made up her mind. "Me too," she agreed.

   "I won't hate you for not wanting to help us."

   "I'll help you out."

   The two had spoken at the same time, almost as though it was planned. "Huh?" Riley rejoined. "Are you kidding?"

   Instead of responding, Tony's brown eyes glanced down at the picture in his hands again. His gaze softened. "I've been thinking about what you said," Tony diverted. "You said you couldn't just sit around knowing there's a possibility to fix what you've done." He paused. "Do you really blame yourself?"

   "Yeah," she softly admitted. "How can I not?"

   Tony paused, chuckling. "You really are my kid, huh," he mumbled. His words were inaudible to Riley.

   Riley walked forward. "Dad, listen to me," she insisted. "I thought it over and... as much as it pains me to say it out loud, you're right. About everything. You've lost so much just to get here. We can't take any more chances. It's not fair for you to sacrifice yourself again. You deserve to rest."

  Tony paused. "It's not fair for me to keep living knowing I can maybe bring him—them back," Tony admitted. "If there's anyone who can do it, it's me."

   Riley stared at him skeptically. "You're really gonna help?"

   "I'll give it one try," insisted Tony. "Just one. That's it. If it doesn't work, which it won't, then we'll forget about all this. Sound like a deal?"

   She smiled at him. "It's a deal." She watched as he nodded, glancing down at the picture in his hands again. "What's that?"

   "It's nothing—" Riley rolled her eyes, walking closer to see it before he could put it back where he found it. He made no attempt to hide it from her view. Once her eyes landed on it, her heart clenched.

   It was a photograph of Peter and Tony from around the time after Adrian Toomes and Rob O'Dair were arrested. Tony had whipped up a fake certificate awarding Peter for his exemplary work under the Stark Internship. In the photo, Peter and Tony were holding up peace signs with their fingers behind each other's heads to imitate bunny ears. Peter had a big smile on his face, whereas Tony was very obviously pretending to look serious. Riley remembered this day so incredibly vividly. How could she not? She was the one who took the picture.

   Riley swallowed the knot in her throat, blinking away the tears that had gathered in her eyes. "I miss him, too," she admitted. "He used to talk about you all the time. He was always worried you never understood how much he cared about you."

   Tony hummed. "He's a good kid. Always going above and beyond..."

   "He's too good for any of us," Riley admitted with a light laugh.

   "You both are," Tony added, staring at the photo. "You always brought the best out of each other. You made a good pair." He paused. "I'm scared," he revealed after a moment. "If this works... If we somehow pull this off... I don't know what I'll do if I lose Morgan or you again. I don't know what'll happen to all of you if I die—"

   "You're not dying," interrupted Riley. "Not if I can help it. Do you remember what I told you five years ago in space? This is my fight just as much as it is yours. I'm here for the long run. We're in this together, and I plan on surviving for as long as possible. That includes you."

  He set the photo aside. "I'm glad I have you," he said. "Now, let's get to work."

   The father-daughter duo hadn't had a night like one of these in a long time. When Riley was younger, she would give Tony company during some of his all-nighters. Sometimes, he'd stay up working on all sorts of inventions for the Avengers or for his own amusement. Other times, he would stay up purely because he couldn't sleep, his nightmares haunting him to the point where if he closed his eyes, he'd wake up missing the peace of sleeping far too much. Riley wasn't always able to stay up the whole night, but sometimes, she'd manage to pull through. Tony always appreciated her company.

   They spent the entire night chatting about all kinds of things just like they used to, rather than the despair that clouded Earth's skies. They tried to ignore the pressure of creating a time machine and instead, tried to enjoy each other's company just like the old days.

   "I think the trauma over the years has made you lose brain cells."

   "I'm just saying that if you've saved the world at least once, you should get a free pass!"

   "Dad, you got banned from Chipotle because they didn't have a burrito named after you."

   "I was kidding!"

   "Well, at least you're not banned from all Chipotles, right?" Pause. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me!"

   "It's not my fault!"

   "You offered to go in the back and make a Stark burrito yourself!"

   "Well, it's not fair that they had a burrito named after Pepper and not me!"

   "Humility is certainly not one of your many virtues."

   "I will ground you right now."

   That seemed to be how all of their conversations went throughout the evening. They were all fun and lighthearted, just like they were back in the day. Between flipping through old notes, tinkering with their potential time machine, and arguing over how stupid physics is, they laughed the night away.

   "The movies make this stuff look so easy!" complained Riley. She got comfortable in her chair, observing as Tony worked his magic. They had been working in the living area for the past few hours. She was becoming delirious with exhaustion, but she refused to fall asleep. "I mean, think about it, the accuracy bar for invocations of quantum mechanics in movies is unbelievably low!"

   Tony shrugged. "In the movies, 'quantum' and 'entanglement' just function as voodoo words for whatever the writers want to happen," he pointed out. "This is the real world, where time is a continuous parameter that flows at the same rate everywhere in the universe, exactly like it was for Isaac Newton."

   Riley stared at him with raised eyebrows. "I'm gonna be honest," she said. "I have no idea what you just said to me. All I know is that you're a nerd."

   He rolled his eyes, throwing a book over his shoulder so that it'd hit her. She created a forcefield just in time to protect herself. "Did it hit you?" Tony wondered, not bothering to look back.

   Riley scoffed. "No." However, as she replied, another object went flying at her. A notebook smacked her directly in the face. "Hey! I'll call Child Protective Services on you."

   "Yeah?" challenged Tony. "At this hour? They're closed."

   Riley snickered, eyeballing the holograph in front of them. Its light shined in their faces. "Hey, what if we start messing with the shape of the sim we're using instead of the atomical composition?"

   Tony paused. He peered back at her. "Nerd," he mocked. "I thought you didn't know anything about physics?"

   Riley shook her head. "I do," she revealed. "It's just hard. And confusing. And stupid. Physics isn't real. Neither is math."

   "Most things aren't real," Tony mentioned, turning back to the time machine.

   Riley paused for a second. Her eyebrows scrunched together, eyes narrowed as she considered his words. "You're gonna give me an existential crisis," finally remarked the girl.

   "Welcome to my everyday life," Tony darkly joked. "Alright, JO, look at the mod inspiration. Let me see what checks out. Alright, let's recommend one last sim before we pack it in for the night. This time, in the shape of a Mobius strip, inverted."

   Riley shot Tony a pointed look. "Be nice to her," she weakly argued.

   Tony sighed. "Please," he added.

   "Processing..." announced JOCASTA.

   He moved around the table, reaching out to tinker with the holograph. "Give me that eigenvalue. That, particle factoring, and spectral decomp," Tony listed.

   "And turn up the A/C, please!"

   "And turn up the—" Tony paused. He glanced back at Riley with a judgemental expression stretching his aging face. "Seriously?"

   Riley shrugged. "What? I'm getting nervous sweats," she humorously excused, feeling as FRIDAY cranked up the air conditioning. "Besides, all that'll take a second. It's not like messing with the sim's actually gonna work. It was just a dumb idea. If anything, I just thought you were gonna take the shape of the sim and make it look like a dick or something." Tony chortled at her comment.

   "Just a moment," declared JOCASTA.

   "Let's not worry if it doesn't pan out," Tony said, mostly to himself as he took a sip of his coffee. "I'm just kinda—"

   "Model rendered," announced JOCASTA.

   Silence.

   The dimly-lit room fell quiet as the Starks stared at the time machine model holograph before them. The words MODEL SUCCESSFUL were plastered next to it in bright red lettering. Tony fell back in the chair behind him while Riley shot upward to her feet. She stared at it, bewildered. They had done it. They had created an actual, legitimate model for a time machine.

   "Holy—"

   "Shit!"

   "Holy shit?"

   Riley and Tony exchanged confused glances, their eyes trailing over to the stairs that led into the area. Lo and behold, Morgan Stark sat on the steps in her pajamas. Her giggles flooded their ears as she repeated the words again, "Holy shit."

   Tony leaned forward in his chair. He pressed a finger against his lips, shaking his head. "What are you doing up, little miss?" he whispered, trying to stomach his excitement. They actually figured it out, after all!

   "Shit," repeated Morgan. She clearly had no idea what she was saying, but she looked too damn happy to say it.

   "Shit, indeed," added Riley, eyes trailing back to the holograph.

   "No, we don't say that," Tony declared. "Only Mommy says that word. She coined it, it belongs to her."

   "Why you up?" Morgan wondered.

   "Cause we got some important shit going on here! What do you think?" Tony exclaimed, earning a laugh from Riley and Morgan. "No, I got something on my mind. We both did."

   Morgan tilted her head to the side. "Was it Juice Pops?"

   "Something like that," mumbled Riley.

   "Sure was," affirmed Tony. "That's extortion." He stood up, causing Riley to follow. "Great minds think alike." Tony glanced back at the model as he guided Morgan up the stairs. "Juice Pops... That's exactly what was... on my mind..."

   As Tony dealt with Morgan's craving for a Juice Pop and putting her back to sleep, Riley dropped herself onto the couch beside Pepper. She was curled up with a book by the fireplace. Riley placed her head on her lap, causing Pepper to instantly lower her hand to run her fingers through her hair.

   "Are you and Tony alright now?" Pepper softly wondered.

   "I think so," she answered. "We talked it through."

   "Huh," Pepper replied. "Good work, soldier."

   "Not that it's a competition, but she loves me 3,000," Tony proudly proclaimed, unmistakably speaking about Morgan subsequent to putting her to bed for the second time that evening.

   "Does she now?" Pepper asked, amused.

   "Uh-huh," he confirmed. "You were in the low 6 to 900 range, weren't you?"

   "Yeah?" Riley sleepily dared. "Well, last week she said she loves me 420. Then, she offered me a blunt. It was kinda weird, but you had to be there."

   Tony sniggered as Pepper lightly hit Riley with her book.

   "You two are very abusive tonight," she mumbled, shutting her eyes just for a moment. She was becoming rather tired after a long day of running back and forth and creating a time machine. Casual.

   The last thing Riley heard was Tony ask Pepper, "What are you reading?" before she fell asleep on her mother's lap.

   And as Riley fell asleep for the night, she couldn't help but think about what was next. After all, they actually invented time travel, something that was supposed to be a stupid, unreasonable concept. Did that mean they could bring everyone back? Could they really do it while managing to keep what the world had gained in the past five years the same?

   Riley sure hoped so. She was over the moon at the idea. She couldn't have been more excited to save the world again. Still, she had this strange itching in the back of her mind that all of this wouldn't be without tremendous loss. This mission had more on the line than ever. It was dangerous, risky. Riley wondered if they pulled this off, would this be her final stand? Riley thought about this during most of her missions, but something about this one felt different.

   After all, fairytale endings weren't exactly in the Avengers's vocabulary.