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ADVENTURES IN BABYSITTING
v. THE COLD WAR

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1 NEW MESSAGE FROM Tony Stank !

Tony Stank
How's high school?

Tink
I hate you.

Tony Stank
That's the spirit, kiddo! :)

Tony Stank
Any updates?

Tink
Your kid's a nerd, and I'm
about to destroy all these
fools in dodgeball.

Tony Stank
Wait, what

Tony Stank
Riley pls don't hurt anyone

Tony Stank
Riley????

Tony Stank
Oh no.

○ ○ ○

  RILEY DESPISED HIGH SCHOOL. It was official. Plain and simple, high school was a ridiculous waste of time. The classes were tolerable, but she was half-convinced that the cafeteria ladies were trying to poison the students because of how annoying they could be. Plus, she always had homework and the teachers paraded around like they were Einstein! Don't get her wrong, she was a prodigy and she knew this was all for a mission, but honestly, Riley would've rather been studying with actual geniuses, like Dr. Bruce Banner for example.

   Still, that didn't mean she couldn't at least enjoy some aspects of it.

   Gym had strangely become one of her favorite classes. Perhaps it was because Riley was such an athletic person as it was, or maybe it was due to the fact that Riley actually had to use her brain in the majority of her classes and gym was the only exception. Whatever the reason was, Riley was more than stoked to play dodgeball in gym class.

  Riley sat on the scuffed-up gymnasium floor, tying her laces. To either side of her sat Peter Parker and Ned Leeds, her newest friends. See, Riley quickly learned that the reason why it was so easy to befriend them was because they didn't have many friends in the first place. Her mission was becoming easier and easier by the minute.

  If she was being honest, she enjoyed the company of Peter and Ned. They were so authentic and nerdy that it felt like they would've been friends under normal circumstances. Of course, Riley had to keep reminding herself that this was just a mission and they weren't really her friends, but it was the thought that counted.

   Ned grumbled, "I'd rather be doing just about anything else other than play dodgeball."

   "Tell me about it," whined Peter. "Maybe if we escape the country, Coach Wilson won't make us play."

   Riley shook her head. "Dodgeball isn't even that bad," she insisted, leaning back on her hands, straightening her legs. "I don't get why you two are being such sissies."

   Peter's jaw mockingly dropped open. "We aren't... Pfft... We aren't sissies!"

   "Yes we are, Peter."

   Peter smacked Ned's arm, who just hit him back in response. As Riley laughed at the two, the shrill of a whistle being blown cut through the noisy gymnasium. On cue, silence drenched the room. All heads snapped toward Coach Wilson.

   "Alright, gather around!" Coach Wilson shouted. The class made a semi-circle around the man. "I want a clean game. Last man remaining saves his team from having to run the mile on Friday. Understood?" A series of mumbles sounded, causing Coach Wilson to clap his hands together. "Perfect."

  The class was then separated into two groups. According to Ned, the teams were always the same; Coach Wilson just never noticed. As long as she was on Peter's team, which she was, Riley didn't care.

   "Now, for team captains," Coach Wilson began. "Do we have any volunteers?" An Asian boy's hand shot upward at the sound of this. Coach Wilson nodded. "Alright, we have Warren for Team Red. What about Team Blue?" He looked back at the other team, which was composed of people who didn't care or were incapable of showing any athletic ability. "New girl! You're up."

   Riley shrugged at this, considering she was a natural-born leader. She confidently stepped forward to meet her opponent's team captain, Warren, who looked her up and down in a way that made the girl feel sick. "This should be easy," Warren tauntingly commented.

   Folding her arms over her chest, Riley responded, "Sexist much? Seriously, what decade is this?"

   "It's not sexism, babe," Warren corrected. "It's just stating the obvious."

   Before Riley could spit something back at him, Coach Wilson blew his whistle once more and sent the teams off to conspire before beginning the game.

   "We're gonna lose," Ned Leeds immediately announced once they all gathered on one side of the gym.

   "Way to be positive, Ned," sarcastically told Riley.

   "I'm serious!" argued Ned. "They're Team Red for a reason!" Riley tilted her head in response to this. "C'mon think about it. The Commies were red, they're red—"

   "Warren and his miscreants aren't Communists, Ned," Riley interjected, which just resulted in the rest of her team exploding in response. "Guys! They're not... They're not Communists!"

   Michelle Jones raised her hand. "They kind of are."

   "Come on, guys. Warren's just a dumb bully. The idiots on his team aren't even fully developed."

  "Neither are we," someone coughed.

   "Okay, fair point, but every day's a chance to set some records." Riley clapped her hands together. "And you can't make history if you're too scared of the future, right?"

   The others paused, glancing at one another. "Huh," said Ned, "she's pretty good at that." He looked back at Riley. "Are you a motivational speaker or something?"

   Riley shook her head, unsure of how to tell him she'd spent the last few years listening to Steve Rogers' motivational speeches almost every single day. "I've got a plan, alright? Here's what we're gonna do..."

○ ○ ○

   Less than ten minutes had passed and chaos had erupted within Midtown's very own gymnasium. Aggressive screams echoed and balls were flying in every direction. Bodies were colliding with the ground in an attempt to dodge the other team's ammo. Sweat dribbled down everyone's faces and determination was boiling inside Riley O'Dair.

   The longer Riley and her team played the game, the more she wanted to win. Whether it was because she was extremely competitive or because her enemy's captain had pissed her off with his blunt misogyny, she just wanted to win... and it was very clear.

   Releasing a battle cry, Riley leaped three feet upward and caught a ball that had been flying directly toward her. To say the least: Team Blue hadn't been doing very well. More than half of her team was out of the game, but because of Riley (and maybe a few forcefields along the way), Team Red was experiencing the same issue.

   Riley glanced over her shoulder. There were only two other people left on her team, which included herself. "You've got to be joking," she breathily said, noticing how her final teammate was Peter Parker. "I thought you said you weren't good at this!"

   Peter reflexively moved to the side as another ball was chucked toward him. "I'm not!" Peter yelled over the chaos. "I've never made it this far before!"

   Snorting, Riley shook her head, throwing another ball.

   "Hey, look out!" Peter's voice came once more. Before she knew it, Peter had jumped in front of her, preventing her from getting hit by a ball by sacrificing himself. He landed on the ground with a thud. "No!" He dramatically reached up at the sky, looking over at Riley. "You have to go on without me!"

   "Peter, stand up."

   "I can't!"

   "Peter, stand up."

   "Why should I? Just leave me!"

   "Because we won the game, you idiot!" Riley emphasized. She pointed at where she had just thrown her ball. Warren stood, rubbing his arm at the impact, cursing to himself. Peter's eyes widened upon realizing this.

   "Holy shit!" shouted Peter. "We beat the Commies!"

   "We won the Cold War!" another one of their teammates cheered.

   Riley just shook her head, unable to bite back her smile of satisfaction.