Eat food, drink water, and celebrate the end of a not-so-crackfic anymore crack fic!

"You've gained quite a bounty yourself by now, do you know that, Zoldyck?"

(Note: guys I'm so fucking tired of having to store this goddamn scene. But ik some people are gonna just read one ending and nothing else, so I have to.)

"I think you got the wrong guy buddy," You tilted your head, trying not to react at all the guns pointed your way, "Really sorry for this embarrassing miscommunication."

"Don't try to lie your way out of this, Zoldyck." The supposed leader frowned, his brows furrowing, "Your information's not as hidden as you think."

"Oh no, my last name is actually Henway." You corrected, putting on your best 'I'm sorry that you're embarrassing yourself' face.

"Don't lie." The man stood up, approaching you with a scowl, "Henway? How uncreative can you get. Pulling names out your ass now, hm?"

"You got a problem with Henway? It's named after a great scientific discovery. It's a honorable name that-" You couldn't help but grin as the man asked.

"Really?" The man rolled his eyes with a scoff, "Then what's a Henway?"

"Approximately ten pounds."

You could die peacefully now. Those were probably the best last words you could choose.

Nobody else seemed to share your enthusiasm. The room completely silent.

"Tough crowd, huh?"

"You're pathetic."

"Woah there bud, there a reason I'm a Hunter and not a stand up comedian." You countered, hearing a click from the gun pressed against your head.

Ah. Right. Survival. That's a thing that you need to continue participating in.

"Dang, really tough crowd," You grumbled, moving your hand up to scratch the back of your neck, watching all the armed men tense up at the act, prepared to shoot, "Gonna shoot me over one bad joke?"

"Zoldycks killed my family-"

"Woah there, I'm not a counselor either." You interrupted, enjoying the annoyed scowl on the man's face, "Really, I'm just here to make money and get bitches. And I assure you, bitches are got. Money is made."

"You have some serious issues, you know that?" The leader stepped back. A sign you took as you'd get shot soon.

He folded his hands behind his back, before turning away from you. Going back to approach his desk.

"Shoot them." He commanded.

"Uh.. problem sir." Someone spoke up, watching their captor easily grab the gun by their head, pulling away before disappearing into thin air.

"I swear to god if I turn around and see them gone, I'm firing all of you."

—

"Thirteen ice cream cones. Hold the ice cream, hold the cone." You ordered, watching the stressed Baskin Robbin's worker. Seeming to be the only employee in sight.

"Yeah, that'll be zero dollars plus tax, cash or-" The man looked up, cutting himself off "Oh my god Y/n?"

"In the flesh." You grinned, ignoring the line building behind you.

Dave didn't share the same enthusiasm.

"Yeah yeah, go sit somewhere, I've got a line-"

Grabbing the shoulders of the two people closest to you, you teleported them away. Before reappearing in the ice cream shop, and repeating the action until the line was gone.

What? You only sent them down the street.

"What line?" You leaned on the counter, a smug grin on your face, "I think you're going insane from all this work, Dave."

"Oh go fuck yourself."

"No thank you, I got my hoes for that."

"Yeah you're fucking insane." Dave scoffed, "Get out before you contaminate me too."

"Aw, don't you miss me?"

"Not one bit. Go away Zoldyck."

"Awww," You pouted, tilting your head to the side like a kicked puppy, "no love in your heart for little old me?"

"You're not a sobbing train-wreck in desperate need of a shower anymore, so no. Out."

"I'll be back," You laughed as you head for the door, more of a threat than a promise, "I'll be back."

Teleporting away, as you've began to stop bothering with doors. Because they're frankly garbage creations with confusing instructions that shouldn't have been made on the first place.

There's a reason we decode the most efficient method of opening them was knocking. Beating them was the least they deserved.

Plus, you loved using your ability as much as possible. The ability coming with a newfound freedom. No longer having to worry about being captured.

—

"Oh Netero," You called out in a sing song tone, skipping through the hallway. Towards his office.

There was only so many places he could hide.

"An important meeting is taking place, we cannot let you see the Chairman at this time." The obnoxious and unnecessary guard near the door stated.

You can only imagine he was dumbfounded when you disappeared in front of his eyes.

For some reason, the concept of teleporting confused many Nen users. As if it were a rather basic ability.

I mean, every Non-user has been asked the "would you rather fly or teleport." type questions.

"Netero!" You appeared right beside the old man that was practically on his deathbed. Edging the grim reaper, "I've missed you, look what I can do now,"

You excitedly teleported around the room, ignoring the handful of people sitting around the meeting table.

You recognized a few of them from when you were reading here last.

"Yes, I thought you might go with a choice like that," Netero laughed, watching your movements, "But I am quite busy. I'd be happy to meet with you later,"

"I'll teleport everyone in this room into the middle of a volcano." You smiled, hoisting yourself up onto the table. Your feet dangling off the edge, "No matter how strong they are, I bet I could take one or two down with me."

"Is that a threat?" Someone on the other side of the table spoke up, crossing his arms.

"Apple bottom Ging? Wa-Ging? Life chan-Ging? Is that you?" Your eyes lit up, teleporting near him as if you weren't threatening everyone moments prior, "You won't believe what I've done these past few months,"

"I don't care."

"Okay so basically I went to go see this clown, who's a member of the Phantom Troupe. And I'm on the run from the Troupe, right? But this guys a traitor. Well, he will be. He hasn't actually betrayed them yet-"

"Please stop."

"And he was teaching me Nen. He's pretty shitty at it, but I learned the four basic principles. And that's when I decided I wanted to teleport. But I hadn't made my ability yet. But then a Zoldyck came to try and kidnap me, I'm on the run from them too, by the way-"

"Who all are you running from?"

"Well everyone really, but I'll get to that soon." You hummed, kicking your feet back and forth, "But anyways, the clown I mentioned earlier threatened to kill me. And so I panicked, right? Cause he's like wayyy stronger than me. Which is when I randomly created my ability and teleported away out of panic, and then the clown and the Zoldyck were all superrrr shocked."

"Doubtful."

"Y/n, if you could save your story telling for after the-"

"Shut it, old man." You interrupted. Which wasn't that rude since he interrupted you first, "But after that I practiced my ability, right? And then I needed money. So I started actually doing my job as a Hunter. But because I can teleport it's pretty easy to do the 'wanted alivem' part of wanted dead or alive postings, so I did like a bunch of those."

"Good for you, please stop now." Ging replied unenthusiastically.

"No? I'd like to hear where this is going." Someone else chimed in, a blonde who was practically sparkling.

"Okay, but like I completed a mission right? And I was gonna leave, but then everyone pointed guns at me. And I couldn't teleport away because of my ability conditions, right? But then-"

You kept ranting on for the next two minutes. Telling them about every single job you competed. And how great your ability was.

"-And now I'm free and nobody can't hurt me. Because I have the best ability in the whole wide world."

"Are you done?"

"Yeah, but what've you been up to?" You asked, just earning a groan from Ging.

"Nothing, now shoo."

"Okay!"

You teleported away right after that. Gotta keep them on their toes. They'll never know if you'll listen or not. When you'll disappear, or appear.

—

"Killua," Kurapika looked at the white haired boy as they entered the penalty room. After Leorio had so kindly gambled their hours away in the third phase of the Hunter exam, "Can you teach me the technique you used? To instantly remove his heart?"

"Oh, I just ripped it out."

"Yeah, Killua's from a family of assassins!" Gon chimed in helpfully.

"Oh, like the one Y/n married into?" Kurapika asked. Despite it being unlikely that it was the same one.

"You know Y/n?" Killua's eyes focused on Kurapika, narrowing in distrust, "If you did anything to them-"

"I guarantee you I am on Y/n's side." Kurapika assured, eyeing Killua with the same distrust, "But from the family that kidnapped them, I can't be sure that you share myths same sentiment."

"Kidnapped them? I'm the reason they escaped. I planned the whole thing."

—

"Woah guys, not very cool of you." You hummed, sitting on a barrel. Watching Feitan pin down Gon and threaten to break his fingers.

You remembered when he did that to you. Good old days.

After hearing that Killua and Kurapika were going to Yorknew, and seeing that the auction had been robbed, you put two and two together. Immediately teleporting to Yorknew.

"Y/n!?"

"Twig?"

"Chrollo's bitch!?"

"It's me guys," You glanced down at your nails, humming softly as you hopped off the barrel, "But I'll be needing those kids back."

"Come back and we'll consider it." Shal tried to compromise. Assumedly the leader when it came to dealing with you. Right after Chrollo at least.

"Or you give them back, and I don't teleport all of you into active volcanoes, hm?" You offered instead, pressing your palms together as you gave them a closed-eye smile, "I doubt Chrollo would be happy to return with half his Troupe members incinerated in lava."

Word Count: 1803

Fun Facts:

• Idk if any of the zodiacs were in character. I never finished the Chimera ant arc so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

• For those of you who asked for Jinx ending, the Illumi ending technically means you spend time with Jinx. And for those of you asking for Y/n to commit suicide, calm down and stop spending time with satan.

• And with this, Adult Trio Wrong Number comes to an end.